Chapter 13
Avidya
I sat outside on the porch swing that was secured from the overhang patio roof that faced the back yard. The sun had slowly set, and I loved watching how the sky would always change colors. It was one of the peaceful moments of each day. This was one of the only times I got to be by myself most days.
Father always hated wasting time to enjoy what was right in front of him. Mom was the same way because he demanded it. Although father didn’t like it, I still came out here to sit at least once a week, if not more. Normally, he’s hidden away in his office or at the church anyway, so he didn’t know.
Sitting out here gave me time to think without anyone hovering, or having to worry about studying. My studying days were over, and would never be seen again, thankfully.
Thinking about Zachariah made my stomach fill with butterflies, but thinking of him lately did that to me. I couldn’t explain why other than him being a good-looking guy. There was just something about him. Something that drew me in.
Speak of the Devil, he appeared on the porch, taking a seat beside me. Instead of sitting facing the same way, he curled one leg underneath him so he faced me. He had a look of determination mixed with questions on his face. I had no idea what he really wanted from me, as he never did come out and say it.
“Are your parents always like that?” he asked after a few moments. The silence was broken, but with him, it didn’t feel forced. For some reason, I felt like I could be whoever I wanted, and he wouldn’t look at me any differently. Not that I would, knowing father was watching.
“Most of the time,” I whispered. It happened often enough.
“You don’t have to be ashamed of that,” he said, being straightforward in a kind way.
I couldn’t help but grimace at that. I wasn’t ashamed of how I was treated, was I? It was a normal occurrence, especially when it came to how my father treated me.
“No one will treat you like that with me,” he promised softly. “Once we marry, even your father will not be allowed to treat you like that again. He shouldn’t treat you as such now.”
“You seem so sure we will marry,” I huffed out with an eye roll.
“Of course, I am,” he said, leaning back slightly, but not upset with how I spoke. If I spoke to my father like that, I would have been slapped across the face. “I always get what I want, Avidya. I want you.”
“You know my father probably has another five men lined up to interview for the role of my husband,” I spoke with distaste.
“I am counting on it,” he said with a smirk. “I’d love to see who else he is considering for your hand in marriage. To me, no one will be good enough to earn that right.”
“He’ll go with the one that offers him money,” I stated, knowing how my father worked.
“He’ll go with me because I’ll be the only one to save you,” he spoke knowingly. “So, don’t worry about it. You’re already mine.”
“I am no one’s,” I muttered. I hated not being able to decide on my own. I would fight him tooth and nail if I had to. I was my own person, wasn’t I?
I hadn’t thought that way until now, and it was out of the blue. Since my kidnapping, I had changed. Not physically, but mentally. Maybe it had something to do with what my parents were hiding from me. Maybe it was just coming into contact with Zachariah that changed me. I knew there was something about him, other than his good looks, that spoke to me.
“Your father will bring at least one other man in this week to meet you,” he said, watching my expression.
“Not surprised,” I replied, still mulling over my thoughts.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Nothing,” I said, turning my attention back to the darkening sky.
“You do not lie well,” he said, amused, but happy about that fact. Why was he so happy he could read me so easily?
I couldn’t help but jump as he laid an arm across the back of the swing, taking a piece of my hair between his fingers to play with.
“I enjoy reading your expressions, which will help me greatly with bringing you into the world I live in,” he mused. “I can’t wait to see how you respond when I can show you how well your body will wither in pleasure for me.” His voice lowered as he leaned in, whispering in my ear.
“I can guarantee that you will like what I can do to you, so much so that you will be begging me to take you,” he whispered, his lips brushing against my ear.
I closed my eyes, lips pressed together tightly to hold in the moan that wanted to escape. My lower belly filled with butterflies. I would not doubt his words, but I wouldn’t make it that easy for him. My body already yearned for his touch, but I would do everything I possibly could to prove to him that it wasn’t betraying my mind.
“Have you thought of how you want to marry?” he asked, just barely moving back from my personal space.
I shook my head in answer. How could he ask something like that right that minute?
“Our wedding will be however you want it to be,” he said, still playing with a strand of my hair. “Pick whatever dress you want, even if it shows my mark on your fair skin. I can’t wait to show the world who you truly belong to.”
He pulled back from me as the back door opened. My eyes slowly opened as my father’s voice reached us.
“Time for Avidya to come inside,” he requested. Since I had returned home, he’d been grumpier than normal. Which in turn caused me to stay hidden away from him as much as possible, and that wasn’t all that hard to do. It wasn’t often that father went into my room.
“Just one more minute,” Zachariah demanded, a total one-eighty from the tone he had used when talking to me.
“One minute,” father said gruffly and shutting the door harder than was needed.
“Has he hit you?” Zachariah asked, his voice cold, but yet soothing towards me.
“He doesn’t abuse me if that’s what you want to know,” I said, not entirely answering his question. It was a fine line of what was abuse and what wasn’t these days. I wasn’t even entirely sure myself.
“That’s not what I asked, Avidya,” he said, looking at me with his all-consuming eyes.
“Only when I’m disrespectful,” I answered, looking away from his eyes and down to my lap. There was no need to say how often that apparently was while growing up and still on most days.
“He’s not allowed to hit you. Ever. It doesn’t matter if it’s in my presence or not,” he said, standing up. “He’ll pay for hitting you, let alone how he treated you tonight.” Turning his tone softer, and lifting my chin by his index finger, I once more came face to face with him. “I’ll see you soon, my kitten.”
He left me there, confused but yet yearning for more of his touch. How did he get my body to want more? It wasn’t possible.
After gathering my thoughts, I stood and made my way into the house. Not in the mood for one of my father’s lectures, again, I went straight to my room, making sure to close my bedroom door.
I felt caged in. Not just with being in this room, but just in life. In this house and under my father’s eyes. Mom – she was just caged in as I was, but I had a way out, sorta. It’s wasn’t the best of ways, but it would work for now. It had to.
I knew that marrying Zachariah would be challenging. Challenging in all ways. It was my only way that I knew of. I knew there was someone following me; I wasn’t safe. Detective Stone’s words still haunted me, but I had no one to tell them to.
But would I really be any safer with Zachariah?
Becca’s parents were blaming me for her death, even though I didn’t have anything to do with it. It was her mother, Madilyn, that thought I needed help in a mental facility. She had no idea who her daughter was. No one did but me. Becca was the only one that I ever told my secrets to and vice versa. I wasn’t even allowed to go to the cemetery to say goodbyes to my only true friend.
And now, I had no one to talk to.