In a strangely good mood, I met the next morning with a wide smile, not even pressing the snooze button of my alarm clock. Instead, I sprang up to my feet, feeling like I was truly alive.
Maybe it was the sex the night before, putting color to my cheeks, dopamine coursing through my body, but I smiled at the smallest things as I arrived at work and took the elevator up to the thirteenth, not caring I was crushed against the wall as a bunch of people got on behind me.
My good mood increased as I walked into my office to the sounds of keyboard keys clattering and saw Nobuki sitting at his desk, a thick stack of printed papers next to his laptop, looking like a million dollars in a pale blue work shirt, the top button undone, his tie slightly loose.
I trilled out a good morning as I slipped my bag under my desk. I didn't get a reply, but that was par for the course, and I cracked open a bottle of canned coffee before settling into the day's work.
The morning passed almost too quickly, and I had lunch with Ayaka, who seemed excited by the prospect of a date she had with a coworker on Sunday.
She slid a sideways glance at me. "Oh wait…but you have a date this weekend, too, don't you? The meeting your sister set up."
The delicious food my mother packed for me turned to flavorless mush in my mouth, and I took a quick drink of water, the food sticking in my throat.
Crap.
Her eyes widened and she leaned over the table between us, the scent of her lavender shampoo heady. "Don't tell me you totally forgot about it."
I looked down at the half-finished lunch box and then closed it, pretty sure I wasn't going to take another bite, at least not then. Maybe later, when I was too busy to think about the upcoming meeting in two days, but for now…no, I couldn't stomach anything.
"Yes," I said with a nervous laugh that sounded strident and too-high even to my own ears. "Something like that. I guess I've been busy with work."
Not exactly.
More like too busy dreaming about my boss.
Although, I'd die before admitting anything of that sort.
She tilted her head to one side, playing with a wavy lock of caramel-colored hair. "Really? You haven't thought about it at all? Not even once?"
I shrugged and stowed the Tupperware back into my messenger bag. "Honestly, I haven't given it much thought."
Ayaka let out a breath and shook her head in wonder. "That's so hard to believe. I mean, how long has it been since you've been on an actual date?"
I winced. "Let's not talk about that. I still have nightmares about my last date."
Mostly, it consisted of me pouring a bottle of beer over someone when, in a drunken fit, he made a lewd comparison between my sister and me.
He had also been a date arranged by my sister.
I hated the idea Saki was pretty much dictating the kind of guys I was supposed to date, and refused to think that these were the kind of guys whom my sister had turned down, but decided to offer me up as some kind of consolation prize.
"What time is it on Saturday?" she asked.
"Two. In Jiyugaoka. At some pastry shop."
Ayaka made a small sound of surprise in the back of her throat. "Wow, seriously? A cake shop? He wants to meet there? Weird."
"That's what I thought, too."
"Well, how about I come over before the meeting and help you with your makeup?" she asked with an encouraging smile that warmed me up from the inside out. "I still haven't been able to thank you for taking care of me on Monday night."
I waved a hand in the air. "It wasn't a big deal."
She put a hand over my arm. "It's okay! Come on, let me help."
I bit my lip. "But what if I don't even like the guy? If I showed up all made-up and stuff, it might send the wrong signal."
"Yeah, but what if the guy is totally cool?" she countered with a leer. "You could be missing this perfect chance. You want my opinion?"
"If I said no, you'd still give it to me anyways."
She pulled at my cheek in a show of mock annoyance. "You just keep talking to me like that, yeah?"
"Ow, ow, sorry, sorry! Okay, sorry, what's your opinion? Please give me your opinion, Master Sono!"
She sat back down while I massaged my sore cheek. "That's more like it. Anyways—"
The click of sharp heels stopped her, and I saw her gaze flick over my shoulder.
"Look at those two. Acting like children, honestly!"
I didn't have to look to see who it was, but I did anyways, because Haru was Haru and I still couldn't trust her.
Ayaka made as if to get up and I stopped her.
"Aw, Haru, you're just jealous," I said with a laugh and patted the place next to us for her and her three friends. "You want to sit and chat? We're just talking about guys."
She tossed her long hair over one slender shoulder. "Like I'd been seen sitting with you. I, unlike you, have a reputation to maintain."
Then she clomped off in black leather bootie-style heels, her three fangirls snickering behind their hands.
Ayaka stared at Haru's retreating back with something akin to shock. "Wow. That was almost friendly for Haru."
After a second, I pulled out the Tupperware and picked up my chopsticks again.
Strangely enough, the exchange with Haru had a calming effect on me, and Ayaka turned back to me, her eyes wide. "How the hell did you know what to say to her? I bet you a million yen that if you said anything else, she'd swipe her nails right across your face."
"She's a big softie. I bet I can have her come around to me in another year. You want to take the million-yen bet?"
Ayaka shook her head in wonder, watching me finish the rest of my lunch, her empty salad bowl pushed off to one side. "You are full of surprises today, aren't you?"
I shrugged and Ayaka laughed, a clear sound that resonated in my head and brought an unconscious smile to my lips.
I didn't know who Ayaka was going to end up with, but whoever it was, was going to be one lucky man. I mean, I was straighter than a ruler, but I still had a major girl-crush on the pretty, vivacious woman with a penchant for designer name bags and had a prickly exterior.
After a promise that she'd stop by my apartment at eleven and help me with my makeup and hair, we parted at the elevators and I walked back into the office, the Tupperware empty, and my heart strangely full.
Or maybe that was full night of sleep I got last night.
Promising I would do the same that night, I checked in on Nobuki who was talking to someone with a takeout container that looked like Chinese food and a bottle of green tea.
I never fully appreciated just how much work there was in the Foreign Marketing Department, but our department, even if it was just Nobuki and myself, was the glue that held together all the other divisions together when it came to foreign publications, be they entered Japan or leaving other foreign departments.
Work kept me busy until I heard a flurry of movement from Nobuki's office and my gaze went to the clock next to the door.
Three-thirty.
My shoulders stiffened as I stood up to bow Nobuki out.
"Thank you for working so hard today." Without another word, he strode away, and I listened to the sounds of his shoes echoing.
I didn't know why he was leaving, but maybe it had something to do with that mysterious phone call with the sultry voiced woman who refused to give me her name.
I knew his work schedule well and knew there was nothing scheduled that day for him to leave early.
My good mood started to fizzle, and I slumped back in my seat, staring at the computer screen, nothing registering in my mind.
Only an hour and a half more to go.
I sighed and pushed back in my chair, my head lolling back on the headrest.
Why was this concerning me so much?
So what if he was leaving early?
Who cared if he was seeing that mystery woman?
Suddenly the arranged meeting this Saturday seemed a lot more palatable. And as though I was silently paying Nobuki back for daring to leave the office and make me worry so much, I read for the rest of the hour and a half, with the excuse that I had to read an author whose horror works were getting translated and getting released in America.
It was for work. Right.
It occurred to me that, before, I never had to come up with an excuse for my extra-curricular reading on the job. Maybe it was because I never tried that hard, never felt the pride in my job when Aimi and Mr. Abe were in that same office Nobuki had just vacated.
But now that they were gone and Nobuki was my boss, I felt a strange sense of pride, of wanting to be better than before, of being indispensable.
I told myself it was just the job, that it had nothing to do with Nobuki, that I would have done the same regardless of who the new boss was.
Somehow the words didn't ring true in my mind and as soon as the clock hit five o'clock, I was out of there faster than I had ever left the office.
Dinner was a silent affair, punctuated only by my mother's reminder that I had the date in Jiyugaoka.
I felt my father's eyes on me as I half-heartedly dug into my food, my mother's reminders sinking through my brain. "I know. I'll go. Don't worry. I wouldn't dare bring shame to Saki by not going." I paused meaningfully. "Although, I didn't ask her for such favors."
My father put down his chopsticks and looked at me. "You didn't, but she offered. We taught you better than to refuse such help. What's the worst that could happen if you went? The worst that can happen is after that meeting, you say goodbye to each other politely and then never see each other again."
My mother clucked her tongue as she poured me another glass of tea. "At least if it turns out that way, then you could blame Saki and never agree to another meeting again. I did question her wisdom in arranging this before asking you, but once done, there's not a great deal you can do now, is there? I'm sorry she's cornered you, but it won't be a chore to go, will it? It is in Jiyugaoka. At a famous pastry shop, no less. You love sweet things, after all."
That much was true, but the knowledge that I would be going to a popular cake shop for the weekend didn't make this any easier.
I went back upstairs, and I was in bed by eight, one of my mother's melatonin tablets already in my stomach and hopefully doing its job.
If I ever needed a good night's sleep, it was then.
"Friday. Just one more day, Rika," I whispered to myself as I stared up at the white ceiling. "Just get through one more day and then you'll have two whole days just to yourself."
Assuming Nobuki didn't tell me to come over.
My mind began to get foggy, no doubt the effects of melatonin. and once I closed my eyes, it didn't open again until my alarm went off at six.
When I rolled out of bed and almost fell over, I regretted taking the pill as the world spun before my eyes and I had to lean against the wall just to get to the bathroom.
Admittedly, I had never taken melatonin before, but my mother had praised its effects and that it helped with her insomnia. As I struggled to stay upright at the sink while brushing my teeth, I concluded no amount of uninterrupted sleep was worth feeling like I was drunk.
Luckily, by the time I wobbled to the bus stop, the effects felt as though they were starting to wear off, and when I walked through the lobby, I almost felt normal.
Almost being the operative term.
Nobuki's office was still dark when I set my things on my desk and started with the first order of business: opening my emails. I don't know why I expected to see something from him, something to explain his absence, but there was nothing, just a few follow-up emails from several overseas publishers working with Shokogan. After answering them, with some help from an on-line translator, I clapped my hands to my cheeks a few times and got to work in earnest.
I had to leave my desk at around 8:30 to get some coffee and when I walked back into the office, I saw Nobuki's office's light on and the tell-tale sounds of typing and a mouse clicking that told me that he was in.
By now, I was used to feeling comfortable by his silent, if somewhat cold, presence, and I put my head down and got back to work, stopping once around ten to see Ayaka's text to tell me she had a lunch meeting with her group and wouldn't be able to eat lunch with me. Which, honestly, was just as well, since I didn't mind eating at my desk. Not to mention that it would let me do some reading, something I found myself missing from the time when I was just a junior secretary and had scads of time on my hands.
Of course, Nobuki didn't stop for lunch, didn't make any motion that he even knew what time it was, and I was trying to work up the courage to go over and bug him to take a break when I heard the clink of high heels come towards the office.
Was it Ayaka coming to pick me up, after all?
I half stood in my seat as a slim, tall woman sauntered into the room, a wave of expensive-smelling perfume preceding her like a wave before a tsunami. Her softly curling hair caressed the elegant curves of her face and she wore an expensive navy blue one piece with sheer black pantyhose and killer heels that would've broken both my ankles before I took three steps in them.
A black coat was folded over one arm and a black quilted Chanel bag hung off one French-manicured hand, the golden links catching the lights and making them shimmer.
She had painted her eyes to look tilted at the corners and even though she had on enough makeup to outfit an entire burlesque troupe, she didn't look cheap at all.
The woman paused in the middle of the room, looking around with an unreadable expression on her very beautiful face. Was she lost?
"Miss?" I asked. "Can I help you with something?"
She gave me an impassive look, her coral pink lips turning down at the corners. "Is this Nobuki Miyano's office?"
Oh no.
The bottom dropped out of my stomach and I thought I was going to be sick all over my desk.
I recognized the voice. It was the same woman who had called a few days ago and dragged the notoriously workaholic Nobuki away from his office.
Struggling to stay professional and not let judgment show on my face, I motioned her to a seat across from me. "Let me get you some tea, and I'll let Mr. Miyano know that you would like to see him."
She looked dismissively at the chair and then jerked a pointed chin at the closed door. "Is he in there? Don't bother with the tea, I don't plan on being here long."
She started to walk to his closed office door and in a panic, I tripped over my chair feet to stop her. Barely keeping myself from falling flat on my face, I was too far away to keep her from ripping open his door with enough strength to make it bounce off the opposite wall.
"Nobuki, this place is so damn dreary," I heard her say. "Really, is it too much to put some color in here? I'll have flowers shipped in every few days. This place looks like a prison warden's office."
Face red, I stumbled in behind her and looked at Nobuki from over her shoulder. "Mr. Miyano, I'm so sorry! I meant to stop her, but she insisted on seeing you."
He looked up from his computer monitor, his expression like a blank wall and then nodded. "That will be all, Miss Hasegawa."
Hearing the dismissal in his voice, I swallowed down any additional words and nodded meekly. "Of course, Mr. Miyano."
She settled herself on a chair at his desk and shot me a catty smile. "You know, I think I will have that tea. Loose leaf, green, hot but not boiling, please? And make sure it's bottled water. Evian, if you have it."
I clenched my teeth and nodded again, closing the door behind me as I retreated from her pervasive rose perfume that was starting to make my head spin.
It took me a moment to compose myself, and I had the hardest time to force myself to move away from the door, where I could see just a little inside through the slats in the blinds.
What had she said she wanted? Loose leaf green tea? I thought we still had a small tin somewhere in the office, sent from one of Mr. Abe's clients from Shanghai, but we didn't have any bottled water, and I'd eat my hair before I went down to the convenience store just to suit her.
I set the small kettle to boil with water from the tap, hah, and had thrown a dash of dried tea leaves into the bottom of a delicate porcelain cup left over from Mr. Abe's entertaining days, when someone knocked on the doorway.
"Hey, you."
Tadashi Murai sauntered into the room, hands thrust deep into his pants pockets, giving me his usual Hurricane-Smile. "Making tea for an esteemed guest?"
I grimaced. "Yeah, she asked for it. She's lucky we still had some green tea leaves left over. I almost threw the tin out when Abe got canned."
Tadashi flicked a glance over at the closed door. "So, I don't believe in gossiping—"
I held up a hand to stop him before he could say anything more. "That's a joke, right? You love gossiping."
He grinned and with a practiced flick of his fingers, swept a lock of hair from his eyes. "Okay, that's a lie. Yes, I do love gossip and rumors. It's the spice of the workplace. Otherwise, this place would be so damn boring. You know that, Rika."
I snorted and as the kettle whistled, I turned it off and waited a few seconds for the water to cool. I wasn't going to get her the precious mineral water, but I'd do everything else to the letter. Like hell I was going to let her complain about me to Nobuki. "What are you doing here, Tadashi?"
"Mmm," he mused, gaze going back to the closed door. "Just wondering what Yue Kinou is doing in your boss's office."
I blinked. "Yue who?"
He looked at me for a moment and then rolled his eyes up. "Oh, that's right. You wouldn't know who she was. Yue Kinou, she used to be a pretty famous AV model. Did a bunch of gravure magazine spreads before she went into porn." He clicked his tongue. "Well, softcore porn, but unless she's good at acting, pretty sure she was still getting fucked on film."
I winced and finished making the cup of tea. "Do you have to say it like that? You make it sound like it's a sin to be an adult actress."
His silence was telling as he considered me carefully. "You know, there's not a lot of people who wouldn't be so laissez faire about being in the same room as a porn star."
"Yeah, well, maybe I learned a few things in America," I replied somewhat tartly.
Julian had taught me there was nothing wrong with a woman's sexuality and that old-class morals kept us from progressing as a species. And while I wanted to hate her, memories of Julian's stern admonishment that night in the club was enough to keep me from dismissing her outright.
With the cup of tea balanced on a delicate saucer, I glared at him. "Aren't you supposed to be working or something? What is it that you do here, Tadashi?"
He smirked at me. "Besides make all the women love me?"
I snorted. "Right. How could I forget?"
I knocked at the Nobuki's door and at his soft murmur, opened the door to find Nobuki and the beautiful woman sitting in the same position as I had left them. In fact, it looked like they were just talking, even if she did have a hand over his on the desk and was stroking his with one delicate finger.
I don't know what I expected to see.
Both of them in a scandalous position?
Was I disappointed I didn't see them like that?
Or relieved?
I placed the tea on the edge of the table and Nobuki nodded to me as I bowed myself out.
Tadashi coughed. "Were they, hah, inflagrante delicato?"
"No, they weren't, so you can leave before I report you to HR for missing work."
He shrugged. "So, I'm taking an early lunch. Nothing wrong with me being here. Besides, we're friends, aren't we?"
I sighed and sat back down. "Seriously, though, is that why you're here? To tell me that my boss is in the same room as a woman who used to be in porn?"
His brow went all the way up, hidden by that very persistent lock of hair that kept falling into his chocolate-brown eyes. I never understood why his charm didn't worked on me; aside from Nobuki, he was the most popular guy in the building.
"My, what a progressive you are," he said with a chuckle. "Next time you'll be telling me that Haru the Fox is a misunderstood waif who doesn't deserve the bad rep."
I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Maybe she doesn't."
His eyes went wide. "Wow, didn't expect you to say that."
I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him. That might've ruined any illusion he had about me being a grown-up who can look past minor transgressions.
After all, even though she spilt pomegranate soda on my expensive white sweater, she did give me money to get it dry-cleaned.
Instead of leaving like I hoped he would, so I could try to at least attempt to spy on my boss and the stunning woman in his office, he slid into the chair across from me, an ankle resting on his knee. "So, how about some of that hot gossip you think is so wrong to indulge in?"
And even though I should've sent him on his way, I couldn't help but lean towards him, shooting furtive glances at the door. "Oh, fine, I suppose you're not going to leave until you satisfy yourself, anyways."
His eyes sparkled as he told me that Yue Kinou was a very famous AV actress about a decade ago. There was a rumor when she retired that she was pregnant with Nobuki's child, but later turned out to be her manager's.
My heart pounded hard against my chest, as I remembered what Ayaka had told me the first day I met Nobuki.
So, that was her. The beautiful gravure model who tried to accuse Nobuki of being the father of her unborn baby.
Such accusations weren't usually taken well. How the hell could Nobuki stand to be in her presence? Why didn't he just throw her out?
Exactly what was their relationship?
Curiosity was eating me up from the inside out and it was driving me crazy, like an itch just underneath my skin that just wouldn't go away.
As Tadashi's voice trailed away, he gave me a raised brow. "What's wrong? You're not giving me the reaction I expected. Where's the horror? The shock? I swear, Rika, you're disappointing me."
I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms. "I've heard all of this from Ayaka weeks ago. Either you give me some new info about Nobuki or you go away and let me do my job."
"Oh?" His mouth spread into a wide, knowing grin. "Nobuki? You're awfully familiar with him, aren't you?"
And then suddenly, I was the flustered one.
If you didn't already know, Tadashi was like a shark sensing blood in the water, and I tried to cover my discomposure. "Well, I mean…he's not here. Don't tell me you don't call our boss by her first name."
He grimaced. "Are you kidding? Mrs. Yamaguchi is at least three hundred and ten. I'm not even sure if she has a first name."
"So, that's it? You want to tell me her kid is Nobuki's? Is that all?" I continued glibly, trying to change the subject, because like I said, I am useless at lying with any level of proficiency.
"It was a sordid affair, you know," he said. "To be honest, I'm surprised the Chairman Hamazaki allowed him to get hired. Did you hear what he did to his daughter when he heard she was getting married to a gangster? Disowned her. Now, that's what I call a cold-hearted bastard."
"Oh, so now you're moving onto the head of the company now?"
His mouth took a petulant tilt down. "You know, I'm starting to feel really underappreciated here. Come on, Rika, I thought you were into the whole office politics and rumors thing. God knows, there's little else to do around here."
"You mean, aside from our jobs?" I glanced pointedly at my computer monitor.
His brows went way up. "Since when did you turn into such a Miss Goody Two-Shoes, anyways?"
"Call me that again and you won't like what I do to you," I muttered darkly.
"Oh, that sounds like a challenge," he replied with a broad wink. "What did you have in mind, my dear?"
I could only reply with a sigh, but no matter how hard I tried, it was almost impossible to stay angry or annoyed with Tadashi for long.
Besides, he was quite beautiful, and like I had told Nobuki before, I had a weakness for beautiful things.
The memory of that night brought a flush to my cheeks and I quickly looked down, unwilling to let him see me.
Just then, there was some sounds from Nobuki's office and the door opened.
My head snapped up, and I tried to not look guilty as hell as Nobuki switched off his office light, one hand on Yue's back.
She was laughing, her eyes dancing and an easy smile sat on his lips.
Until he saw Tadashi and me.
"Miss Hasegawa?" The smile vanished. "I was not aware you had a guest. Or is he here for me?"
"Um, no, he's here for me," I said, rushing to my feet.
Tadashi didn't move from the seat, almost insolent in his posture and that half smile as he looked Yue from head to toe. "A pleasure to meet you. I've always had an interest in exotic locations…" He winked. "And exotic women."
Yue merely rolled her eyes, ignoring him completely. "Nobuki, I'll wait for you outside. There's a car waiting for us. Red Lexus."
She left the room first, thankfully taking that horrible cloud of rose perfume that was, with my luck, going to give me one hell of a migraine.
Nobuki threw on his jacket, looking at me with cool detachment, like we were strangers. "Miss Hasegawa, please cancel any plans for the remainder of the day. I'm taking a half day."
"Of course, Mr. Miyano," I said.
Then he turned to Tadashi. "Aren't you Murai from the editorial department?"
"I am." Tadashi inclined his head to one side. "I'm honored you're aware of a peasant like me."
Was I imagining a slight edge to Tadashi's languid, almost lazy voice?
Impossible. Tadashi didn't dislike anyone, at least not to my knowledge.
Nobuki pointedly glanced at the clock that read eleven thirty. "What is your business here?"
"Taking an early lunch. Shooting the shit with your secretary."
Nobuki's jaw tightened. "I see. Is your manager aware you're taking this early lunch to bother other company employees? I wonder how Mr. Yamashita would feel knowing one of his employees was seen wasting valuable company time?"
There was definitely some kind of tension going on between them, and I stepped into Nobuki's line of sight, trying to defuse the situation before something truly bad happened.
"It's fine, Mr. Miyano." I put a hand on Tadashi's shoulder. "He just came by to ask how our trip to America went."
Nobuki's eyes narrowed. "Oh? Is he a friend of yours, then, Miss Hasegawa?"
"Er," I said. "Yeeesss?"
"You don't seem very sure."
I swallowed the lump in my throat at his severe gaze. "I meant, yes. He's a friend. A good friend."
His brows drew down. "If that's the case, keep your socializing to a minimum. This is a workplace, not a bar, Miss Hasegawa. Please remember that."
He left me then, red-faced, feeling like an idiot while Tadashi gave me a pitying look.
"He really hates you, doesn't he?" he asked. "The guy's a total ass."
I sighed and pulled out my lunch. "I couldn't have said it better."