ELLIE’S WAS THE PLACE to be, especially on a Friday night. A shitty hole in the wall, the place had the best damn drinks in the entire country. And hell, the wings were pretty good, too.

Gabe watched as Jason sipped on his drink. The place smelt of tequila and mexican spices. Picking up a hot wing, Gabe took a bite, the burning of his mouth not comparing in the least to that old burning in his throat he had loved so much. It had been three years without a drink, three years without stepping foot into this place. It was weird being back, and even weirder drinking pop with his meal.

“You were close with that guy? The OD?” Jason asked, putting his drink down on his napkin and tossing a chip into his mouth.

“Nick,” Gabe corrected Jason. “Yeah, Nick was my best friend in another life.”

Jason crunched on another chip, nodding at Gabe’s words. “You guys hadn’t spoken for awhile?”

“Been a couple years.”

“Grew apart?”

“Mm,” Gabe nodded, turning his attention to the wings in front of him.

Gabe was only two bites into his wing when Jason began speaking again. 

“Yeah, I can see that. I can’t imagine you hanging out with a junkie. You’re one of the most straight edge guys I’ve ever met, especially in our line of work. I don’t know how you do it, man.”

The dark laugh that burst from Gabe’s lips nearly made him choke on his chicken. He quickly grabbed a napkin, wiped his mouth, and took a big gulp of his cola to wash down the food. Jason rose an eyebrow at Gabe, clearly awaiting an explanation for his reaction. Fuck it, time for some honesty.

“I was a drunk throughout the entirety of my twenties, man.” Jason’s eyes widened at Gabe’s confession. Gabe had mentioned to Jason before that he partied a lot, but perhaps he never stressed how serious it was. He continued. “Nick and I partied together, but then I stopped drinking. And he spiraled out of control.” Gabe laughed sadly. “I always drank more than him, got more messed up than him, handled my shit better than him. I loved the guy, but fuck, I thought I was a bad influence from day one. It’s weird to think back to it now and know that my fucked up habits actually kept him on a good path.” Not good. Being a drunk is not good. “Or, well, a better one.”

“How long after you stopped drinking did he get hooked?”

“I tried to keep him as my friend, but it turns out that once you erased alcohol from the equation, we didn’t really have much there. I couldn’t be around him drinking, and he couldn’t be around me sober.”

Jason’s eyes went down to his drink, and then slowly lifted to Gabe, so Gabe shook his head quickly to reassure his friend. “I’m fine, now. It’s been years.” Jason nodded and let out a sigh.

“Nick and I stopped hanging out about four months after I put down the bottle. I spent nearly a year trying to get him to sober up with me before I gave up and moved on. I wanted to reach out to him when I found out he picked up the needle several months back, but at that point, it was useless. I couldn’t help him, and he didn’t want me to.” A sad truth. “Believe me, I tried.”

“Listen, man. We see it all the time in our line of work. You can’t blame yourself for that shit.” Jason’s face was so serious, Gabe had to smile.

“I know, man. I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years, lost a lot of people I cared about. It’s fucked up to say, but I’m starting to get used to it.” Gabe laughed, but nothing about that statement was funny. It was painfully true, but laughing seemed safer.

Jason smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. He knew what Gabe was doing, he had to have known. But fuck, bless him for not pushing it further. Gabe looked around the restaurant, looked at the people laughing and drinking, looked at the waitresses wearing too tight clothing and flirting with old men for tips. This fucking place. Gabe smiled.

“Can I get you gentlemen anything? Some margaritas, maybe?” the short blonde waitress leaned against the table, spreading her red-painted lips into a wide smile. She wore a tight white shirt that was cut open to reveal plenty of cleavage and ended just above her navel.

“Can I get another coke?” Gabe asked.

“I’ll be right back,” the blonde winked. She walked away slowly, swaying her hips with each step she took.

“God damn,” Jason muttered.

Gabe laughed and crunched down on a chip, shaking his head.

“Are you trying to imply that she’s not hot as hell?” Jason chuckled, looking at Gabe as if he was trying to convince him that the sky was green.

“Yeah, I mean, she’s hot, man.”

“Why do I sense a ‘but’ at the end of that sentence?” Jason teased.

“Not my type.” That was a lie. Short, tight, blonde, curvy, that was exactly Gabe’s type. The truth is, Gabe hadn’t had any interest in being with women since he’d stopped drinking. And he certainly tried. Nothing could excite him like it once did. Well, not until seeing Victoria again. That woman, his body reacted to instantly.

“Do you have a girlfriend? Is that why? Being all high and mighty?” Jason laughed.

“I don’t do the girlfriend thing,” Gabe laughed. “It’s in the best interest of women everywhere.” He winked at Jason, and the two broke into laughter.

As the laughter faded away and the blonde returned with his drink, Gabe couldn’t help but wonder what Victoria was up to.

 

***

 

 

THE RESTAURANT WAS beautiful, a small waterfall built into the back wall providing a calming effect on everyone in the room. Dim lights, candles, flowers on every table... this place was amazing.

And her date wasn’t too bad, either. Caleb was tall, his lean muscles accentuated perfectly by the sleek black suit he wore. He was clean-shaven, with high cheekbones, brown eyes, dirty blonde hair, and an absolutely perfect smile. He looked like he was pulled right from a Calvin Klein ad.

On top of being incredibly handsome, he was incredibly kind. He was a veteran who had served three tours overseas as a marine, and now he was a small business owner. He opened every door, paid for her meal, paid attention to her and showed clear interest in her life. Caleb was truly Prince Charming.

And yet, as he walked her to her door, Victoria didn’t feel the butterflies that she should be feeling. As his hand rested on her back, she didn’t feel the heat of his touch burning through her like... Do not think of Gabe right now.

At the door to her apartment building, they turned towards each other. His face was warm and caring, his smile so warm.

“I had a really wonderful time with you, tonight,” Caleb said. Even his voice was sweet.

“I did, too. Thank you so much for dinner.”

“I’d love to do this again, if you’re interested in that.” He smiled hopefully.

Victoria bit her lower lip and smiled up at him, nodding slowly. Caleb’s hand met her cheek and he angled her head up towards his. She stared up into his eyes, beautiful pools of gold and mocha, and felt his breath wash over her as his face grew closer to hers.

Her eyelids fell shut as their lips met. He kissed her softly, gently, his lips moving slowly against hers. She placed her hand on his neck and opened her mouth to him. His kiss remained sweet, romantic, and then he pulled back, smiling down at her and flashing those perfectly white teeth.

“I’ll see you soon, then?” He smiled.

“Yes. Talk soon,” Victoria said. “Thank you, again. Goodnight.” She turned and hurried into her apartment. When she closed and locked the door, she pressed her fingers to her lips and remembered what Caleb’s mouth felt like against hers.

Nothing. It felt like a whole lot of nothing.

When Victoria had gone to New York, she’d dated several men. Good-looking, put together, kind men, and none of them had set her on fire. None of them had made her want like Gabe had. Why was that?

Victoria had even pushed herself, slept with a man she’d been dating for a few months. A stock broker that any girl would’ve been lucky to be with. She had felt numb after, absolutely numb. There was no connection to him whatsoever. Even when the physical did feel good, Victoria felt no spark. Maybe that’s just how sex was? Perhaps her first time felt exciting simply because it was the first?

Victoria was a different woman, now, and perhaps this was just who she was. That must be the case.

Suddenly, an idea popped into Victoria’s head. She bit her lip and shook her head, trying to will away the ridiculous thought. But was it really so ridiculous? Was it such a sin to think it? Gabe had used her all those years ago, what was the harm in returning the favor?

Certainly, she’d let him know in advance. She wouldn’t pretend.

If Gabe popped into her head every time she got close to another man, if Gabe still haunted her after all these years, maybe Gabe is what could set her free. Maybe getting close to the man who set her life into motion would show her that this aromantic woman was just who she was, that he wasn’t some superman who could make her feel like no other man could, that she simply wasn’t interested in sex or romance or the like anymore. Maybe it would prove that she’d grown up.

Victoria had been running from her past for seven years; maybe running towards it was the best option for her. Maybe facing her fear head on and proving once and for all that Gabe had no power over her anymore was exactly what she needed.

Yes, that was it. She slipped out of her outfit and threw on a little black sundress that flared out at her waist and her leather jacket. She grabbed her keys, stepped into her comfy black heels that she’d worn on the date, and ran out the door.

She had no clue if Gabe still frequented the same spots, but it was worth a try. Worst case scenario, she’d get some exercise and an order of nachos. Best case? Her stomach turned a little bit as she shoved her keys in her pocket and walked quickly down the softly lit street.

 

***

 

 

AFTER PAYING FOR THEIR food and leaving a nice tip for the pretty blonde, Gabe and Jason stood from their chairs. It was only ten thirty, and being that tomorrow was an off day, the idea of going home wasn’t too tempting. Jason had suggested the two go over to a bar down the street to play some pool, and Gabe figured pool could be fun. Granted, being in a bar didn’t seem nearly as enticing. Nonetheless, Gabe didn’t want to go home. So pool it was.

Walking out the door, Gabe walked right into a small body that was rushing into the place like she was on a mission. She crashed into him and nearly fell, but Gabe quickly grabbed for the woman to keep her from losing her balance and hitting the ground.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked quickly, Jason moving out the door and to his side.

“I’m so sorry.” That voice. “I-” her eyes met his and she stopped mid-sentence.

Victoria. Her beautiful eyes were staring up at him, long blonde hair falling in loose waves and perfectly framing her face. She looked absolutely stunning in the black leather she wore, and suddenly, Gabe became incredibly aware of the fact that his arms were still holding her body tightly. He wanted to pull her closer to him, press her body into his and take her right there.

Instead, he let her go.

“Vic. Hey. I, uh, I’m surprised to see you here,” Gabe attempted to string the words together, but they were hard to get out. He could feel the growing length of his arousal pressing against his jeans and quickly realized why his brain wasn’t working quite right. How the fuck did this woman have such an impact on him? Damn it. 

“Gabe. Hi. I’m uh, I am... I was.” Victoria’s eyes darted around nervously, refusing to meet his. At least she couldn’t seem to get her words out, either. “I’m, uhm. I’m going home. I’m sorry.”

She turned and started to walk away, but Gabe quickly grabbed her shoulder and turned her back towards him.

“Are you okay, Vic?” he asked her as she met his eyes and bit her lip. Fuck, she was sexy. He could barely keep his eyes off her body, perfect curves hugged by a little black dress that showed off her perfect legs. He kept his eyes locked on hers as his brain imagined what it would be like ripping off her clothing piece by piece.

“I’m okay,” she smiled softly. “Just wanted to get out of the house.” She shrugged her shoulders and pushed a strand of hair from her face.

“Gabe and I were just about to shoot some pool,” Jason interjected. Fuck. Gabe completely forgot Jason was here. How did Victoria seem to make the world around him stop? Jason continued, “You should come with us!”

Victoria nervously looked to Gabe, then back to Jason, and Gabe could feel the awkwardness. She bit her lip and looked to the ground, knotting her fingers together and drawing in a deep breath, clearly trying to figure out how to politely say that she’d rather die than spend time with Gabe.

“I like pool,” she muttered, barely audible. Her eyes met Gabe’s.

He didn’t even know what to say to her. His brain was spinning. Was she going to come out with them?

“If you want to come, you’re welcome to,” said Jason.

“Are you sure?” she asked, but her eyes quickly met Gabe’s.

“I’d love for you to come shoot a few rounds with us.” Gabe smiled at her as he hoped she’d say yes. Not because he was insanely attracted to her, though fuck yes, he was, but because he wanted to make things better with her, like he’d told Amy he would. He wanted to be a friend to her. She deserved that from him.

“Okay,” she said, her lips slowly stretching into a smile. “Let’s do it, then.”

Gabe couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t know where Victoria’s change of heart came from, but he was certainly glad it happened. Maybe they could really bury the past now and build some sort of friendship here. Friendship... funny. Something like that.

 

***

 

 

“SO HOW DO YOU TWO KNOW each other?” Jason asked.

They were walking down the block to the bar with all the pool tables. The cool air spun around them, a nice breeze blowing. Victoria walked between Gabe and Jason down the street, Gabe to her left and Jason to her right.

What was she supposed to say to that? They’d said goodbye to the past, but clearly, it couldn’t all magically disappear. “Family friends,” she replied quickly. “And you guys?”

“Gabe’s my partner,” Jason said.

Victoria nodded. As they walked down the street, she couldn’t wrap her head around what she was doing. Being here, being with Gabe, it made her feel alive. She was nervous and excited, all of these feelings she’d buried seven years ago. It felt good to feel butterflies fluttering around in her belly.

Right before walking into Ellie’s, Victoria had realized what a stupid plan she’d had. She was about to turn around and go home, until she walked into the wall of flesh that was Gabe. His arms wrapped around her, and her body grew instantly hot at his touch. She felt want. It killed her when he let go.

When she heard that Gabe was going to a bar to play pool, her heart sank, but he quickly told her they were just playing pool, reminding her of this three year sobriety. She was nervous for him, knowing he shouldn’t be putting himself in such high-exposure environments, but she couldn’t bring any of that up now, so she’d go with him, and help him if he needed her to. And hopefully figure out why Gabe always elicited such an intense physical response from her.

Gabe’s hand brushed against hers and she shivered at the warmth.

“So you play pool?” he asked her.

“Not really,” she laughed. “But I’m a quick learner.”

Gabe smiled and her heart melted. He didn’t have a picture-perfect smile like Caleb, he didn’t have GQ good looks, and yet he was the most attractive man she’d ever seen. Every time Victoria was around him, she felt the same butterflies she did as a young girl. She tried desperately through the years to meet a nice man and fall in love with someone safe, but it just didn’t work... Victoria felt romantically numb, like her heart had a switch that had been flipped to ‘off’ all those years ago. And then Gabe walked back into her life, and everything was switched into overdrive. She’d never wanted anybody like she wanted him.

She needed to believe that it was just because of her history with him, that if they actually did anything together it would feel exactly the same as it had with the other men. Maybe soon, she’d have her proof that Gabe wasn’t all that special.

Why didn’t she think that would be the case?

 

***

 

GABE WATCHED VICTORIA lean over the bar and grab the three drinks from the bartender. Her body was so sexy to him, curves perfectly hugged by tight clothing. She’d taken off her jacket making it that much more tempting for Gabe to stare at her perfect breasts. Blonde waves fell over her shoulders and down over her chest. Gabe would love to see her being covered by nothing but those blonde locks.

She turned towards him and he continued his stare, watching her as she smiled widely and walked over. She placed the drinks down on the edge of the pool table, carefully handing Jason his drink and then turning to hand a glass of pop to Gabe. Lastly, she picked up her drink, placing the straw between her rosy lips and taking a sip.

Gabe was so hard he thought be might break his zipper. He continued watching her and she moved around the table, sipping on her drink and looking around the place.

“All set,” Jason said. “Victoria, would you like to break?”

Victoria smiled, putting down her drink and walking over with a pool stick. “Sure,” she said.

She bent over the pool table and got into position, but before she took her shot, Jason stopped her, moving closer.

“Here, let me show you,” he said. Jason leaned over her, placing his arms on hers and guiding her into a better shooting position.

Gabe wanted to rip his throat open.

What was that about? Was he jealous? Gabe didn’t do jealousy, not ever. So why the hell do I want to grab Jason and punch his fucking face in for touching my woman?

Woah. His woman?

Victoria. She was Victoria. And she certainly wasn’t his. She never was, never would be. Gabe was not a possessive man, but suddenly, he hated Victoria’s sexy clothing, hated that every man in this bar could see that perfect body that he wanted all to himself, hated that his friend was hitting on her right fucking in front of him. Gabe let out a breath and squeezed his fist in his hand. He needed to calm the fuck down.

Her voice pulled him from his head. “I’ll be right back, okay? Running to the restroom.”

Gabe nodded and watched her walk off, suddenly finding that he was paying more attention to the other men in the bar, paying attention to who else was watching her walk away.

“Message received. My bad, man. I didn’t realize it was like that.”

“What are you talking about, Jason?” Gabe turned back to his friend.

“She’s all yours,” Jason said. Then he pointed to Gabe’s hands, still fisted, and Gabe quickly loosened his hand. “All good, man.”

“Sorry. No. You do what you want. She doesn’t belong to me,” Gabe said.

“You’re my friend. We’re good.” Jason smirked. “Is she the reason you’re never interested in the woman who are flirting with you when we go out?”

Interesting question.

“I don’t think so.”

“But you’re interested in her.”

“I find her attractive,” said Gabe.

“I saw how you reacted to me touching her. Saw how you watched her walk to the bathroom. That’s more than attraction, buddy,” Jason looked at him smugly.

“Fuck off,” Gabe said, grabbing his pool stick and heading over to the table.

 

***

 

AFTER PLAYING THREE rounds of pool and walking back to the Ellie’s parking lot, Victoria desperately thought of ways to make the night last longer. She didn’t want to go home, not yet.

“Do you guys want to go down to the lake? I haven’t been in nearly a decade.” Victoria focused her attention on Jason, trying to keep her mind where it needed to be. “And it was always so beautiful at night,” she added.

“I’m ready to head home, but you two should go,” Jason said, smiling. There was something she saw in that smile, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay out, man?” Gabe asked.

Victoria turned to Gabe, looking at his strong jaw, his tight black tee, his blue jeans. She looked at the strong muscles of his arms and chest, then back up to his piercing green eyes.

“I’m out. I’ll see you at work, man,” Jason said, lightly punching Gabe’s arm. “Seriously though. You two, go out.” He turned and walked away.

Was he trying to-

“Do you still want to go, Vic?” Gabe asked her.

“Uh, sure,” she said.

Gabe nodded towards his truck, gesturing Victoria to the passenger side and unlocking the doors.

She hopped into Gabe’s RAM, remembering the last time she rode in this truck. The memories raced back into her head, but they didn’t hurt quite as much this time. Maybe his hold on her was loosening.

When Gabe got into the driver’s seat, he let out a loud sigh and turned to Victoria.

“You don’t have to do this. I’ll understand.”

“What do you mean?” she asked him.

“I know Jason’s attractive and shit, you wanted to go out as a group, hangout longer. You don’t have to go now that it’s just me. I get it.”

Victoria had to stifle a laugh. Did Gabe really think she wanted Jason? That she was here for him? That she was only going out with Gabe out of pity? Talk about jumping to wrong conclusions...

“I want to go with you,” Victoria finally responded.

She watched him nod, smile, and turn his key in the ignition.