THE SKY WAS A DEEP shade of dark blue, a full moon shining just above the trees and reflecting on the black waters of the lake. A gentle breeze was blowing around fallen leaves, the noises melting into the sounds of the forest. Gabe had been here so many times in his younger years, and yet he’d never taken the time to appreciate the place.

Or hell, maybe it wasn’t the place he appreciated so much… maybe it was the company.

Victoria sat beside him on the tree stump overlooking the lake. The stump was big enough for both of them, but not big enough for much space. Her leg brushed against his. It truly amazed Gabe that after all these years, he was still so attracted to her.

Gabe was a man, and as a man, of course he found women attractive. But ever since he got his shit together, physical attraction did little for him. What was pleasing to his eyes wasn’t pleasing to him as a whole. But Victoria? Truthfully, he hadn’t stopped thinking about that night he’d shared with her since it happened. When he’d take other lovers, he would think back to that night, to Victoria’s soft body and tender kisses, to how he felt with his hands locked on hers and her lips on his neck.

“Why did you go to New York?” Gabe broke the silence. “Did you always plan to leave Ohio?”

“No, I didn’t,” she sighed. She giggled a little bit, looking at her hands, fingers interlocked and leg bouncing. “I never planned to leave this place.”

“So why did you?”

Gabe watched her face, watched as she mulled over whatever it was that was going on in her mind. The moonlight caught her features perfectly… long lashes, full lips, little dimples that became visible in her cheeks whenever she was thinking too hard about something.

“Honestly?” she asked, raising one eyebrow and meeting Gabe’s gaze.

“Honesty is the best policy,” Gabe joked.

“I didn’t want to stay here and be reminded of you,” Victoria said solemnly. She was looking out at the water, chewing on her lower lip and tapping her thumb against her thigh.

“I fucked up pretty bad, huh?”

Victoria laughed. Then she shook her head and sighed, smile still etched into her face.

“No. No, you didn’t.” Her gaze stayed on the water, the corners of her lips turned up so slightly, Gabe almost could’ve missed it. “I’m the one who messed up. I was young, naive, and completely obsessed with the idea of you. I jumped on an opportunity and saw it as something other than what it was. You couldn’t have known how I felt. I should’ve known how you did.”

“Vic-”

“Really, Gabe. I broke my own heart by thinking there was something more there.”

She sounded so sad. He wanted to make that pain go away. He wanted to make sure that it never came back.

“I was a mess back then, Vic. I don’t think you know how fucked up I was at the time. I made a mistake with you and I’m so damn sorry for that.”

Victoria huffed out a breath and pressed her face into her hands. She shook her head and slapped her hands back down to her thighs, turning to Gabe with fire in her eyes.

“I understand that you were embarrassed by it afterward, but I’d really appreciate it if you could stop calling me a mistake so we can move the hell on from this.”

Woah. Where did that one come from? Is that really what she thought? That he was embarrassed by her? Gabe couldn’t believe that after seven years, she’d truly believed that he felt that way after what they’d shared. Didn’t she know that it was the best night of his life? Couldn’t she tell from the way his body reacted to hers?

“Just forget it. We said it was dead and gone, we shouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“No, Vic. Hey.” Gabe grabbed her face and turned her head so that she was looking at him. “I was never embarrassed by you. Not for a second.”

The confusion in her eyes hurt his heart.

“I should’ve been honest with you the day after, but I was a mess and I thought lying would be easier for us both.” Gabe brushed his thumb across her cheek. “That was the most intense sex I’d ever had. It was the greatest night. You are the most beautiful women I’ve ever…” Gabe cut himself off.

“You’ve ever?” Hope was stirring in her voice.

You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, inside and out.

“I lied to you because I didn’t realize how invested you were. I thought it was a schoolgirl crush and that if I acted like a jerk and broke your heart, you’d move on in a couple days and be happy, find a nice guy, have a family, you know how that works. I never wanted to hurt you like I did.”

“I don’t understand…” Her brows furrowed.

“I think I thought that you could save me,” Gabe confessed. “I felt alive with you for the first time in what felt like forever. I knew you. You were good, you are good, you’d always been good. I knew that you could save me, and I didn’t want to be saved. I wasn’t ready, yet.”

“You didn’t recognize the problem.”

“No.” His grip loosened on her face, and she pulled away a bit. He dropped his hands.

“You weren’t embarrassed by me?” she finally asked after moments of silence.

“Never.”

“I wasn’t forgettable?” She was breaking his heart.

“Fuck no,” he quickly responded. “I have thought about that night more times than I can count. Fuck, Vic... it’s borderline creepy.”

“Really? You enjoyed it that much?” That look was in her eyes again.

“Couldn’t you tell? I mean, I think it was pretty obvious how into you I was that night,” Gabe chuckled.

Victoria looked off and went back to biting her lip. What was she so nervous about?

“Oh!” the word burst from Gabe’s mouth.

Victoria quickly turned and looked at him, wide-eyed and lips slightly open. “What?”

“Victoria, tell me you weren’t a virgin.”

She looked away and starting playing with a strand of her hair, not letting Gabe see her face, her eyes. Shit, shit, shit.

“Victoria. Please talk to me right now.”

Her face looked sad, worried, embarrassed, so many different emotions that Gabe couldn’t even pick out all of them. But he knew now what was going on in her head. He was crystal clear.

“Victoria, I had no ide-”

“Stop,” she finally spoke. She sounded so strong. “Stop apologizing for my decision. I chose to go there with you. My choice.”

Silence fell between them, heavy in the air.

“Do you still hate me?” Gabe said.

“No. No, not anymore.” She chuckled. “I don’t think I ever did, actually. Wanted to, yes. But I don’t think I could ever bring myself to hate you.”

“I need to tell you something,” he started. “You’re not going to like it.”

She turned towards him quickly, and he placed a hand on her cheek, stroking the soft skin of her face and staring into those beautiful eyes. They were stunning… soft shades of blue and gray, dark blue around the edge of her iris, pupils that were just a little bit bigger than they should’ve been. How did he never notice how beautiful her eyes were?

“I quit your program. I’m withdrawing. You can treat Michael and I will not be attending any more meetings.”

Alarm flashed across her face.

“But… why? Why wouldn’t you do the program? You told me you would…”

“I meant it. At the time. But I’ve changed my mind. I’m quitting.”

“Why?”

Gabe smiled, moving his hand towards the back of her head so that his fingers brushed through her hair. He knew he was about to make a huge mistake, but he couldn’t stop himself. He had waited so long for this, for her, and now here she was, sitting beside him in this beautiful place, on this beautiful night. Everything he didn’t know he wanted, and here it was, in his hands.

Gabe knew he was making a mistake. He knew he needed to stop himself.

“So that I can do this,” he said before crushing his lips into hers.

 

***

 

 

GABE’S MOUTH WAS ON hers, hot and hungry, his lips tasting even better than she remembered. When his hand moved to the back of her neck and his tongue entered her mouth, a moan escaped her throat without her permission. She placed a hand on his shoulder, the other on his neck, angling her body so that she could get closer to him.

His hand moved down from her neck, settling on her lower back and pulling her closer. In a quick movement, he had her straddling him, his hardness pressing against her most private area. She pressed into him, desperate to feel more.

His hands were locked on her hips, and every inch of her body that he touched was on fire. She was so wrong. There was something with Gabe, something about him that ignited a passion in her that nothing else could. She’d never felt such pleasure, and she wanted so much more. She wanted him inside of her. She needed him inside of her.

She pulled away from his mouth, desperately trying to catch her breath as they both breathed heavily and held onto one another. She stared into his eyes, the same eyes she’d loved from the time she was a little girl. But this time, something was different in them. Something had changed.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed.

“I’m not,” Victoria smiled back at him.

His eyes met hers. She smiled wider.

“I want you, Gabe.” Nerves rattled through her, but she pushed them aside. She had to do this. “I want you, but I want no strings attached. The way it should’ve been seven years ago.”

Saying those words was so uncomfortable for her, but she had to be clear. She wouldn’t want him to think anything else was going on here. Just physical, just chemistry.

“My place or yours?” he asked, the corner of his mouth pulling into a side smile.

Victoria’s heart fluttered at his handsome smile, her nipples tightening at the excitement of what was about to happen.

“Mine.” She’d be in control there. She’d be safe. The only thing she’d have to worry about was that moment, nothing else.

Gabe smiled, something wicked flashing across his face before he stood up, holding her with ease as she squeezed her legs around his hips and her arms around her neck. His head pushed into her neck, and when his tongue met the skin there, she nearly lost it. She ached for him.

Knowing that Gabe easily held her weight, she began to move in his arms, grinding her hips against him and tightening her grip on his neck. He groaned into her neck, and the sound alone excited her more than any other man ever had, more than any other man ever could.

Cold metal pressed against her back and she gasped. When had they begun moving? Victoria looked and saw she was pressed against Gabe’s truck. She quickly brought her lips back to his, licking his lower lip and feeling his cock shove harder against her core.

“Take me, Gabe,” she breathed. “Please.”

Gabe pulled back and looked at her. His face was filled with hunger, desperation. He needed this as much as she did, she saw that. Not because of love like she had foolishly thought when they had first slept together, but because this fire that she felt? He must’ve felt it, too.

His lips moved back to hers as he gripped her tighter, pulling her dress away so that only her panties and his jeans stood between them. He moved her panties to the side and shoved a finger inside of her. She gasped and gripped him tighter.

She felt him kiss down to her neck, where he lightly sucked and nibbled at the skin there while continuing to move his finger inside of her.

“I don’t have a condom,” Gabe said against her neck. “Need to get one.”

Victoria’s eyes were rolling to the back of her head from the pleasure of Gabe’s hand pressing into her. She could barely put together words, the pleasure was so great.

“I’m clean,” she moaned. His fingers moved faster inside of her. Victoria was on the pill for cramps, and god, she was thankful for that right now.

“So am I,” Gabe breathed. “I’ll pull out,” he quickly added.

She knew she was safe, but the risk was always present. With anyone else, she’d never even consider it. But with Gabe? It made it even better.

She nodded at him and their lips met again, and then she felt his finger pull from her, a gasp escaping her from the sudden absence. She felt his hands maneuvering his jeans, and then he was pressing against the entrance to her body, no more barriers between them. Skin to skin. He pulled back and she stared into his eyes, wanting him more than she’d ever wanted anything.

“Are you sure you want this?” Gabe asked.

“I’m positive.” Victoria had never been so sure of anything in her life.

She needed this, needed the release.

Gabe shoved into her and Victoria gasped, digging her nails into the skin of his shoulders. He filled her completely, the same quick ache running through her as before, overrun quickly with pleasure.

Gabe began moving in and out, his hands holding her up with ease and squeezing her ass. Her started moving faster, thrusting harder, a thin layer of sweat forming on both of their skins. Victoria could feel the pressure building within her, she could feel her muscles tightening and desperately needing more.

“Gabe,” she moaned his name.

“You feel so fucking good,” Gabe growled.

Victoria smiled as Gabe thrust harder, her breath coming heavier as she neared her release. He kissed her neck, licking, sucking, biting, driving her completely wild. Her body couldn’t take anymore. She needed it, needed him.

Release hit her hard, her entire body trembling as the waves of pleasure ran through her. Gabe groaned and muttered something into her neck, but she couldn’t make out his words. All she felt was pleasure. And Gabe.

He loosened his grip and lowered her to the ground, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Where is your place?”

Reality was slowly coming back to Victoria and she flattened her dress over her hips, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious. Did he not enjoy it? Was it not good for him? Why didn’t he…

“Stop,” he demanded. “You’re overthinking. I see it in your face. Believe me, baby, we are nowhere near done. Now, where is your place?”

Victoria looked up at the mountain of a man standing before her, body just inches from hers. Her heart was beating out of her chest, her breath heavy, her breasts tight and her core aching. All for him, for Gabe.

She told him where her apartment was and hopped into the truck, praying that the anticipation wouldn’t kill her before they arrived.

 

***

 

GABE PULLED HER JACKET down and threw it to the floor. Her mouth was so soft, so sweet. He squeezed her hips and pulled them towards him, kissing her harder. They moved to the bedroom, lips locked on each other the entire time, and he began pulling off her dress. It was off in seconds. Gabe slipped his finger underneath her bra’s clasp and unhooked it. He took her breast in his hand, rolling her nipple between two of his fingers as she moaned and arched into him.

Victoria had felt so good earlier, it took every ounce of control Gabe had not to explode right there inside of her. He forced himself to wait, to come here, to do this right. He had been fantasizing about Victoria for the past seven years, and he wasn’t going to ruin this because he got a little over excited.

He pushed her down onto the bed, pulling off his shirt and tossing his jeans aside. Gabe leaned over her, kissing her perfect lips and pressing himself against her. He moved down, taking her nipple in his mouth as his hand tended to the other one.

Her moans sent a jolt to his cock. He didn’t think it was possible to be as hard as he was in this moment. He kissed her neck and she knotted her hands in his hair, pulling his head to hers and flicking her tongue against his lip.

“I need you,” he said, more of a growl than anything else.

Her eyes met his. Those beautiful blue eyes. She nodded.

He pressed into her and suddenly, he was in Heaven. So fucking perfect. He gripped her hips and pulled them closer to him, thrusting deeper and enjoying every second of it. She felt so much better than his memory, the memory that had been with him nearly every day for seven years. Gabe hadn’t enjoyed sex since he’d stopped drinking, and he always thought it was a downfall to sobriety.

He could not have been more wrong. Everything felt so much better now. It wasn’t the alcohol, it was the company. It was Victoria who he craved, and that craving kept him from ever enjoying anything else.

He began thrusting harder, pressing a kiss to her lips as she moaned against him.

“I want you, Victoria,” he groaned. “You’re fucking perfect.”

Her moans came faster, she could feel her body tightening around him.

“I want you to be mine.” What was he even saying?

Her eyes widened. “No strings,” she breathed, clearly struggling to get the words out.

“Tonight you’re mine,” Gabe groaned. He pressed into her harder. “Tell me that you’re mine. Just for tonight.”

Her moans grew louder. He knew she was getting close. And fuck, he was barely hanging on here.

“You don’t have to pull out,” Victoria said. “It’s safe.”

Gabe nearly lost his mind. He thrusted into her harder, faster, pressing his tongue into her mouth and tasting her delicious sweetness. She moaned into his mouth and he felt the contractions of her release as it hit her.

It sent him over the edge and he exploded inside of her, pressing in as deep as he could possibly get, swimming in the feeling of ecstasy she’d given him.

Victoria had to be his. He knew that now. He needed to make her his.

And he would.

 

***

 

 

VICTORIA’S EYELIDS were so heavy, she could barely open them. The room was chilly, and she hugged the soft cotton blanket more tightly around her. Squeezing her thighs together, a tremble ran through her body. She could still feel the tingles of her night with Gabe, and she smiled at the lingering feelings.

Victoria thought that perhaps her first time felt special simply because it was the first. And every time after that had felt bitter because nothing could ever be quite as sweet as that first taste. She’d spent quite a while convincing herself of that.

Then, she’d decided relationships and romance simply weren’t for her, and that was that.

Finally, she convinced herself that her youthfully naive mind, the same mind that tricked her into thinking she and Gabe loved each other, was responsible for the feelings of pleasure she experienced with him. Convince the mind of something, and it’ll convince the body. By that theory, it was a simple placebo effect—she wanted it to be magical, and so it was.

This time, she had wanted the opposite to be true, and she truly thought that it would be.

Victoria was wrong on all accounts.

Her night with Gabe was incredible, the pleasure she felt incomparable to anything else, including their first night together. She wasn’t emotionally invested, she was hoping it would be boring as it was with every other lover she’d taken. She at least didn’t want it to surpass that first time.

Every theory she’d had was wrong, which gave truth to her worst nightmare… there was something special about Gabe. There was something he did for her mind and body that nobody else ever had, ever could.

A chill ran down Victoria’s spine, and she reached her hand out for Gabe, only to find cold sheets. Her eyes shot open to see the other half of her bed empty. She was alone.

He’d left… again.

Why did that surprise her? It shouldn’t have. He left the first time. This time, they’d both agreed no strings attached, so why on Earth would he stay? Still, her stomach felt a little wishy-washy.

Sitting up and placing her head in her hands, Victoria let out a sigh and squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

During the night, he’d asked her to say she was his. She didn’t. But damn him, she had wanted to. God, it was tempting. It was so damn tempting to want more, to let the physical pleasure convince her that those emotional ties from all those years ago still existed between them.

Except they had never existed between them. The love between Gabe and Victoria was one sided. Hell, it wasn’t even love. It was some weird infatuation, a little girl’s crush that was allowed to spiral into her adulthood. Young and stupid, that’s what she was.

How dare her younger self still hold onto hope.

The floor creaked and Victoria’s eyes opened to see Gabe standing there, wearing only his jeans, which hung low on his hips as he stared at her.

“What are you doing up?” he asked softly. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“You’re still here?” Victoria asked.

Gabe smiled and crinkled his eyebrows. “Did you want me to leave?”

“No!” Victoria responded too quickly. She cleared her throat. “No, no, I just thought you’d left.”

“Just had to take a phone call.” Yeah, right.

“In the middle of the night?”

“I’m an EMT. We don’t do the nine to five thing,” Gabe smirked. “Told a couple kids new to the job to give me a call if they needed anything. I didn’t realize I’d be spending my night here.” Gabe’s hand went to his lower stomach. “Obviously,” he laughed.

Victoria smiled shyly and shivered again. Gabe came to the bed and lowered himself onto it, wrapping an arm around Victoria’s torso and pulling her into his chest.

“You’re cold,” he said.

Victoria chuckled. “What gave you that impression?” she joked.

Gabe pulled her closer, rubbing his hands up and down her arm and pressing his lips to the side of her head.

“You know, I can think of a great way to warm you up.” Gabe pressed another kiss to the side of her head, then to her cheek, her neck, and up to her lips.

Victoria smiled against his kiss and sunk back onto the bed, Gabe falling on top of her.

She shivered once more, but this time, it wasn’t because of the cold.