I wake up blissfully happy, a wide smile spreading across my face. Stretching my body, I feel the soreness from last night's events between my legs. It’s a good feeling, and I love knowing it was Dean who put it there. His hands felt like silk sliding across my skin. Just thinking about him and his touch is making me wet, more so now that I know what he can do with that body of his.
I never expected sex to be like that. Reading thousands of romance novels, I always thought mind-blowing, world-altering sex was a myth, fiction. Boy, was I wrong. Not that I have anything other than Rick to compare it to, but then I don’t think he should be given the privilege. What he did to me wasn’t sex or making love, it was… It was evil. It was degrading and…
Shaking my head, I rid myself of negative thoughts. I’m can’t think of him right now, not when I finally have someone good in my life.
I was worried Dean wouldn’t enjoy himself, or that I’d do something wrong that would put him off me, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. What happened between us was worldly, absolutely incredible and something I’ll forever treasure.
I turn around, feeling Dean’s breathing shallow out, and I know he’s stirring awake.
“Morning, beautiful,” he greets, his voice raspy and filled with sleep. I have to bite back a moan when I feel his morning wood pressed against my backside.
“Morning.” I turn to face him, a bright smile lighting up my entire face when I catch sight of him. His eyes are lazy with sleep, the colour a deep blue, and he’s in need of a good shave, but I’ve never seen him sexier.
“What would you like to do today? I have the whole morning off, but I do have to pick up an order for Mom tonight. We can do something before I have to leave though, if you want?” he asks, and my mind runs wild. I can think of a million things, some including us naked, but there’s something important I need to do. And I think I need to do it before I can talk myself out of it, so it needs to be today.
“Well, I’ve actually been thinking about what you said to me last night, and I think you’re right,” I tell him before meeting his eyes, seeing he doesn’t understand.
“I said a lot of things last night,” he says, raising his eyebrow at me.
I fidget nervously with my hands, not meeting his eyes. “I mean about telling someone, telling my grandpa and your parents about Rick. I’m not comfortable with telling them, but I know they’ll only worry about me more if I don’t. I’m so torn about it, but it’s the right thing to do. I can’t keep letting my grandpa worry. With my SIM card snapped up, I can’t even call him to say I’m okay.
“Your parents have a lot going on too. I heard them going over the plans for the masquerade ball and the charity event coming up. I couldn’t live with myself if I somehow messed that up because they’re worried about me. But really, when is a good time to tell someone that kind of thing?” I ramble, my anxiety bubbling to the surface.
Lily and Mark have been throwing charity events for as long as I can remember. They take each one of them seriously, and although I was never old enough to attend one before, I knew how important they were to the couple. Back then they only ever rented the cabins out for attending guests, but this time they’ll be doing more than accommodating. They’ll be holding the event here, at Cabin Lake.
It’s going to be a lot for them to deal with, especially if I tell them about my past and what happened to me. I don’t want to be a burden to them. And since I’m excited to attend an event myself, I don’t want to jeopardise anything and ruin it for them.
“Lola, they would never be too busy for you. You need to know you don’t need to do this if you’re not ready.” He sighs, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand “If this is about last night and what I said about our case with your granddad, then I’ll handle it. I’ll handle him. I don’t want you to worry over that. I only told you because I hated keeping things from you. It wasn’t right, and it was killing me. We can talk to your granddad about changing lawyers. It’s up to you though. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll be beside you one-hundred percent.
“Personally, I think you’re strong enough for anything. Also, if we tell your granddad, then he can keep an eye on Rick for us. We still don’t know what he’s up to or what connections he has. Hell, we don’t even know if he’s looking for you. If your granddad keeps an eye out, we’ll have the upper hand. He can keep us one step ahead,” he says, rubbing soothing circles on my hip.
He’s right, and I’m kicking myself for not thinking of it first.
Maybe telling Grandpa won’t be that bad.
I need to suck it up. I told Dean pretty much everything, and the relief made me feel lighter. It’s helped to make dealing with it all easier. So if getting this out in the open will bring me one step closer to feeling like my old self again, or even a step towards the new me, I’ll take it. It might help me breathe easier too, knowing it’s all out there. Lying isn’t one of my strong suits and every time I tell one, even if it’s a little white lie, I feel sick to my stomach, a part of my soul chipping away.
“Okay, but will you stay with me when I call him? And can I use your phone, please?” I ask, my voice shaking slightly.
“Oh, crap! Wait, I forgot to give you something,” he says, jumping off the bed. He runs to the bag he brought over with some fresh clothes and starts rummaging through it. Since he’s stayed every night but one, it only seemed right he brought over some of his things. It also prevented him from having to keep going back and forth between cabins.
It’s comforting to know that he’s here when I wake up from one of my nightmares. He stays with me, always soothing me and calming me down. He makes me feel safe when all I see is Rick in my nightmare, reliving it all over again while I’m awake. He’ll sit there for hours if need be saying it’s not real, that’s it’s just a nightmare. It’s nice to have that reassurance because some nights I need him like I need air to breathe.
I’ve lain in his arms wishing he would kiss me, secretly hoping he’ll make a move. I’m just glad that isn’t something I have to worry about anymore because I can kiss him whenever and wherever I want to. He’s mine and I’m his.
Dean comes back to the bed holding a box in his hands, and I sit up, intrigued.
Opening it up, he pulls out a new iPhone from the box, and I gasp at the incredibly sweet and kind gesture. He simply is the best man I know.
“I got you this the other day, but I kept getting too distracted to give it to you. I knew you would refuse to let me get you one, so I went out and did it on my own. I’ve installed mine, Moms, Dads, Pagan’s and Sid’s phone numbers. Oh, and Brooke’s. I’ve also saved my office number and my other work number just in case you can’t get a hold of me on my normal phone. Is that okay?” he asks, looking unsure now that he’s finished explaining.
I can’t get over how thoughtful he’s being. He went out of his way to get me a phone, and I didn’t even ask for one. God, he’s always finding things to make me love him that much more.
I wrap my arms around his neck and lean in, kissing him softly, moaning when he deepens the kiss. His hands move to my back, pressing me closer against his warm chest.
Reluctantly, I pull away breathing hard. If I don’t, I’ll never get around to making this phone call.
Swinging my legs off the bed, I glance over my shoulder at Dean, grinning. “Come on! I won’t be able to concentrate knowing you’re in here naked. We need to move into the front room.”
Dean bursts out laughing, making me pause to admire his incredibly handsome features. I love his laugh. It sounds deep, husky, and carefree. I also find the way his eyes crinkle at the corners when he laughs incredibly fucking sexy.
I head into the living room as Dean makes us some coffee. He hands me the steamy cup of goodness, joining me on the sofa and placing a comforting hand on my thigh as I dial my grandpa’s office in case Rick still has his mobile.
After the fourth ring, my hands begin to feel clammy. Sweat trickles down my back, between my breasts, and across my forehead. My throat is knotted up, and I hope that when he finally answers, I’ll somehow manage to find my voice. My mouth is so dry, even with the sips of coffee I’m taking.
“Lawson Law. You have Sally Coyle speaking. How may I help you?” Sally greets, and I want to groan into the handset.
Sally was once my grandpa’s personal assistant, but a few years ago he pretended to promote her to personal receptionist. Really it was a demotion. I honestly don’t know how she didn’t see the difference between the two jobs. She was happy with the ‘promotion’.
When I questioned Grandpa on it, he simply said he couldn’t handle her attending another meeting with him and that the next time he had to I’d be arranging his funeral because she was so annoying to work with. He still had to put up with her whining and lack of work ethics, but at least he didn’t have to take her with him to meetings and business trips.
Once, we were on the phone to each other, and I laughed the whole time he bitched about her. Rick had watched the whole thing with a murderous and judgemental expression. He didn’t like that my attention wasn’t solely focused on him. It was another reason why he hated my grandpa. You see, my grandpa is a good, kind man, but he loves work gossip. When he was younger, nothing scandalous ever happened, so he loved to keep up with the office gossip, so he felt like he was somehow a part of their group. I guess men never really grow up; they’re just big kids at heart.
When I got off the phone, Rick had turned the entire conversation I had with Grandpa to be about him. He accused me of keeping things from him just because I didn’t want to tell him who the girl was that we were talking about. I didn’t want to tell him it was about Sally because I knew he liked her and because I didn't particularly want to cause trouble for anyone in the office. I tried everything in my power not to mention her name, but then I slipped up in the heat of the moment.
I wasn’t expecting the reaction I got.
He beat me that night, covering my body in bruises. I was just thankful he had enough control to avoid my face.
I wasn't one to be bitchy or mean, but there was something about Sally that got me angry and riled up.
The phone call was the first time I’d ever expressed how I really felt about her. I usually kept quiet, keeping my opinions to myself, but that night I had to say something. I called her a bitch. One word, that’s it. And I think I deserved that outlet after all the times she’d bitched and was mean to me.
It didn’t help that it was Sally who was rumoured to have slept with Rick. Grandpa overheard the rumour at work and told me about it, seeing truth in it and worrying for me.
I confronted Rick after and he immediately denied it, going as far as to cause a massive argument, accusing me of having trust issues. He turned it all around on me, saying I was only accusing him of cheating because I had a guilty conscience. In the end, I believed he was telling me the truth or maybe, deep down, I ignored it knowing there was nothing I could do if he had cheated. There was no way out for me. Stupid, I know.
When Grandpa confronted Rick the next day in his office, giving him a hard time over the rumours, Rick had come home, livid. It was the first time he broke my ribs―two of them, in fact.
I remember hating Sally more than I normally did after that. I blamed her, and I blamed him. Every time I struggled to breathe or winced in pain, I’d plan the perfect revenge in my head… on both of them.
“Hello,” Sally’s irritated, snotty voice says through the phone. It snaps me out of my daze, and I shake my head, annoyed with myself for getting lost in my own thoughts.
“Hi, may I speak with Dwayne Lawson, please?” I ask, clearing my throat. I don’t bother introducing myself; she’d only have it announced on all floors in five minutes. Plus I don’t want her to know it’s me just in case Grandpa isn’t in his office.
“I’m sorry, but he’s with a client right now. If you can call back tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll be free,” she says, being brash, and I can feel myself getting worked up already. She has that effect on people.
He isn’t in a meeting at all, she’s just too lazy to lift her finger to the phone to buzz me through. She’s probably at her desk painting her nails like she always is. The only reason she even answers the phone is so my grandpa doesn’t hear the phone constantly ringing and fire her for being incompetent.
“No.” My voice is firm and before she can speak, I interrupt her. “Please put Dwayne Lawson on the phone right now. Tell him it’s an emergency and that his granddaughter is on the phone,” I snap.
“Well, well, well. Look who’s finally come out of the woodwork. Dwayne isn’t very pleased with you, Lola. I don’t think he’ll want to talk to you at the moment. I always thought you were a whore, but to run out on darling Rick, and for no reason? Tut tut! He was going to propose and everything,” she scolds, but doesn’t sound all that bothered by it. “Don’t worry though, I’ve been taking real good care of him.” Her voice is sickeningly sweet, and it grates on my nerves.
I would love to say she can keep him, but I wouldn’t wish him on my own worst enemy… including her.
Then it occurs to me. If Rick has moved on with Sally, then maybe he’s over me and doesn’t care where I am. I’m naive to even think that statement holds any truth, but a girl can only hope.
“Sally, stop thinking you know what happened because if you did, we’d be having an entirely different conversation right now. So, if you don’t mind, could you actually do your job and transfer me to my grandpa. Or do I have to call his mobile and tell him you’re refusing to put me through to him? I’m pretty certain he wouldn’t be too pleased with that, now, would he?” I keep my voice firm, trying to sound as professional as I can get, even though I’m shaking uncontrollably.
Looking up, Dean is smiling at me. I shake my head, my lips twitching. I never noticed the amount of tension coiled tightly in my body until I saw his smile. I instantly relaxe.
Lost in each other’s eyes, the heated look hits me between my legs. A blush creeps up my neck to my cheeks when an image of what we could be doing right now pops into my head.
“Hello? Lola, are you there?” My grandpa’s voice is strained and panicked, and my eyes fill with tears. He sounds older, stressed and worn out, and a twinge of guilt slams into my stomach.
“I’m here,” I whisper, willing the tears to stay at bay so I can get through this conversation without having to repeat it all over again.
“Where have you been, Lola? Where are you now? I’ve been worried sick, and I’ve had no way of getting in touch with you. I lost my phone at one of the conference meetings, and since I haven’t got your mobile number stored anywhere else, I couldn’t call. Rick said your phone was disconnected when I asked him for your number. He’s accused you of leaving with another man. Is that true, Lola? I just don’t believe it. He seems broken, destroyed. He isn’t the same man he was before you left. I was hoping after I gave him a few days off work he’d be okay to return, but he’s still losing his temper and drinking on the job. God, doll, I’ve had to give him two warnings already. He’s got one more before he’s out. The bloke is losing us too many clients. In all fairness, I’m just so happy you’ve finally left his sorry ass,” he rambles.
I choke back a sob, gritting my teeth together whenever he mentions how bad poor Rick is doing. I can’t stand to listen to another minute it. He did this. Him, not me! So if he’s feeling the loss of our relationship or somehow found his heart whilst I’ve been gone and is feeling remorse for his actions… well, he can fuck off. I don’t care what he has to say or what he’s going through; he has no one to blame but himself, and I can’t believe I’ve spent years and years blaming myself for his actions. Always telling myself I could have got dinner done quicker, or I didn’t need to get that book or ask for new bed sheets.
Well, not anymore.
“Grandpa, there’s something I need to tell you, and I need you to be alone for it to happen. Can you make sure Sally doesn’t listen in? In fact, go take the phone off her until we end the call, please. It’s really important,” I explain, my voice barely a whisper as I try to hide my emotions. I want to ask him a million questions, like how he is, but I need to get this out.
“Lola, are you in trouble? Where are you?” he rushes out, sounding worried.
“I'm fine, but please go and take the phone off her. I’ll explain everything then, I promise.”
He agrees, and I hear the phone being dropped on his desk, followed by some mumbled words of what I expect is him talking to Sally. She doesn’t sound too happy about the phone being removed, so I guess she was already listening in.
The bitch.
“It’s done. Now tell me everything and start from the beginning,” he says, sounding far too serious.
I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, but it doesn’t work. Dean, noticing the sudden change, lifts me into his lap. I’m so nervous my hands are shaking, although cuddling up to Dean has eased some of my worry. He knows how hard this is for me and how hard it is for me to tell my grandpa, the man who raised me, about Rick. He must have guessed that telling Grandpa will be like reliving the whole ordeal all over again. Just thinking about all the abuse and torment I’ve encountered over the past five years has my stomach coiling.
“Grandpa, there’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’m just going to come straight out and say it. Rick’s been physically abusing me for years,” I say, and then go on to tell him about the abuse, how he’d hit me. I tell him about the rapes in as little detail as I can muster.
I can’t bring myself to tell him about all the times Rick used his reprimands at work as an excuse as to why he’d lose his temper. I know my grandpa would blame himself, and it’s not his fault. None of it is.
Rick always managed to find someone to blame one way or another. No matter what instigated the argument in the first place, he’d find a way. It was never his fault. Whoever’s fault it was, it always ended up being because of something I did. Whether it was because I’d breathe funny or woke him up if I went to the toilet during the night, he’d punish me for it.
I tell him about the night I left, about the hospital, and just as I’m about to reveal the rest, I pause, fear seeping in.
“I need you to keep my location a secret, Grandpa. You can’t tell a soul.”
“I promise,” he chokes out hoarsely.
“I’m at Cabin Lake with Lily, Mark, Dean, and the twins. I had to get away from him and to a place I knew he couldn’t find me and where I felt safe. I couldn’t risk telling you because I knew you would fire him and he would have just had you sued for unfair dismissal. I’m so sorry, Grandpa. I really am,” I say, choking up. “But there’s also another reason I called you. I need you to take the Salvatore case off Rick. I can't have him here. Can you do this for me?” I ask him, my voice shaky.
He’s stayed quiet during everything, being true to his word. But the silence is killing me. My breathing is heavy down the line, and more tears fall from my eyes, pooling on my knees.
A minute or so passes, and he still hasn’t said anything, I begin to worry he’s not there so I lift the phone to my face, checking to make sure we’ve got a signal or that I haven’t somehow managed to cut him off. When I see we’re still connected, I place the phone back against my ear, just in time to hear a faint sob coming through the line.
“Grandpa? Are you there? Are you okay?” I call out.
A few seconds later, the phone crackles and his ragged breathing sounds heavy. My heart breaks knowing he’s upset enough to take that long to get himself together. I wish he was in front of me, that we were having this conversation face-to-face.
“Lola, I’m so sorry,” he says, choked up. “You could have come to me. You should have come to me.” He sounds so broken, and tears fall from my eyes. “I’m going to come down as scheduled and take Rick’s place. While I'm down there, we can start gathering up a case to get that sick bastard sentenced. I know you want to keep it quiet and we will, but only until we have the evidence we need to send him to prison. I’ll call in some favours so we can nail this sick fucker.
“In the meantime, I’m going to fire this fucker. I know you don’t want me to, but he’s on his last warning, and with the way he’s acting, he’ll be gone by the end of the week anyway. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not by the end of the day. Legally too, so you won’t have to worry about me.”
I breathe a sigh of relief.
We talk for a while longer about Rick, Dean, the cabin, about himself and what he’s been up to. He told me to say hello to everyone and to apologise to Lily and Mark about not returning their phone calls, work being too hectic.
We say our tearful goodbyes, promising to keep in touch. I blink through my tears, staring down at the phone clutched in my hands.
“Do you feel better?” Dean asks, and I stare blankly at the message from Grandpa, giving me his new mobile number. I’m glad Dean stayed with me through everything, lightly stroking my back. Without him, I don’t think I’d have had the strength to do it.
“I do,” I say, forcing a small smile.
“What did he say?”
I fill Dean in on everything Grandpa said, and about his plans to look further into Rick’s background so he can start building a case.
Grandpa’s business partner, Ted, isn’t a fan of Rick either, so he’s going to ask him for some advice and help since that’s his area of expertise. My grandpa’s law degree is mostly business.
I don’t know how I got so lucky. I’ve lived in a nightmare for the past few years, never finding a way out, but here I am, less than a month of being free and I feel like I’m in heaven. It all seems surreal, like I could wake up at any moment to find out this is all a dream.
I’ll never forgive or truly forget what Rick has done to me. It will always be there, rooted deep in the darkest parts of me. But I feel like I can finally breathe and that I can be me, the real me, and not have to worry about the repercussions. Although I have far to go, I’m going to try my damnedest to keep the other Lola buried, the Lola who was weak-minded and frail. I’m going to pretend I left that part of me back in Carlisle.
I’m so grateful for Dean being in my life again and for the nightmare he’s helped pull me out of. His guidance and faith in me have given me the courage and strength to start over. It’s given me a chance to be who I want to be without living in fear. I’ll always love him for that, but mostly I’ll love him for just being himself.
Since leaving, I’ve become a stronger person. I’d been merely a shadow, a shell of my former self, and I hated looking in the mirror each morning and seeing that person reflected back at me.
It’s made me learn a valuable life lesson that looks can be deceiving. One thing is for certain―I’ll never let myself be put in that position ever again.
“Now it’s time to go and tell your parents. Do you think I’m doing the right thing? I don’t want them to treat me differently,” I question him, biting my bottom lip.
“Yes, you most certainly are. C’mon. If we hurry up, we’ll have plenty of time to talk to them and let them absorb it all before Pagan and Sid arrive for lunch. Oh, and Lo?” he calls as I stand to get dressed.
I turn around, facing him. “Yeah?”
“I don’t know if I’ve told you this lately, but I’m so fucking proud of you, baby,” he says, stepping in front of me. He takes my face in his warm palms and brings it closer to his, kissing me breathless.