Chapter Eighteen
Kate
I walked out of the elevator on the floor of Jonathan’s office to be greeted by a flurry of faces peeping at me from behind their computers. I cursed the fact that one, he’d chosen the outfit he wanted me to wear, and two, his office was right at the far end.
I heard my own heels scraping on the thick carpet, and I kept myself looking straight ahead, trying my best not to let the self-conscious feelings make me run into the nearest lavatory and hide.
“Kate?” Helen hurried up to my side. “Jonathan’s in his room waiting for you.”
“Ah, great! Thank you!”
She pointed out in front of us as though I’d forgotten my way.
“I’ll be in after you in a bit. I just a have a couple of calls to make.”
She sauntered off confidently in her heels, and I continued to the office, knocking once before opening it.
He looked up from his computer, and when he saw it was me he stood up, gesturing to the sofa that several weeks before we’d both had sex on.
“Tea? Coffee? Juice?” he asked, pointing to the drinks table.
“Water, please.”
He poured it and set it down, coming up behind me to remove my coat.
“You seem tense,” he whispered, his lips at the base of my neck. “Everything okay?”
I nodded, turning to face him and pressing my lips to his.
“It’s fine, honestly,” I said after a moment.
He nodded, satisfied, and wrapped his hands around my waist, holding me tightly.
“I know I’ve neglected you after that night at the medical center, but things are going to change,” he said firmly. “We’ll plan this wedding and then work on us. We’ll take the jet to any far flung place you want to go—”
“Anywhere?”
“Anywhere.”
He kissed me, lifting me up against him and carrying me to the desk, accidentally knocking a few items off the top onto the floor.
“Jonathan, Helen’s going to come in any minute now…” I laughed nervously.
He rolled my skirt up over my thighs.
“Then I guess that’s all the time we have,” he said, his voice low and rough. “I don’t think you know what you do to me coming in here wearing that.”
“What do I do to you?” I asked in mock innocence.
“Oh god!” he groaned and he pressed my hand against him. “Take your sweater off!”
“But…”
“Take it off. I want to see you.”
I pulled the hem up over my stomach, watching his eyes full of lust as they looked over my body, ready with anticipation to see my breasts, but the sound of Helen banging on the door interrupted him.
“Shit!” he cursed, jumping away from me and pulling my skirt back down. I barely had enough time to straighten myself and my sweater out before she came hurrying in with her notepad.
I looked down at the tent sticking out from Jonathan’s crotch as he placed himself behind his desk to hide it.
I laughed slightly and he threw me a brief smile, leaving Helen completely oblivious to our little office rendezvous.
“The wedding planner’s on his way!” she said, looking up between us. “I’ve prepared the pages you wanted on nice venues.”
She sat down on one of the chairs and closed her notepad.
“I know it’s sudden,” Jonathan said again. “I’m grateful for your help.”
She nodded and smiled, and I could tell that deep down she wasn’t convinced, but I wished she could understand how different things were this time. She was used to dealing with the fallout from other women Jonathan had picked up and left, but I now knew and understood that with me, it was different—that was before, and now he was a different man.
We both sat and watched Jonathan typing furiously into his computer before the sound of a knock at the door got our attention.
“Hello!” he said from his desk. “Come in!”
The door opened and in pranced Louis, the wedding planner, his hands opened wide when his eyes settled on Jonathan.
“Oh, my god! I can’t believe you’re finally settling down!”
He laughed and reached his hand out to shake Louis’, but he pulled him into a hug instead. Jonathan turned to me his hand still around Louis’ shoulder.
“This man may be ‘wedding planner to the stars,’ but we’ve known each other a long time. Our parents have always been friends.”
Louis nodded eagerly with a brief smile, before it faded and he turned back to Jonathan.
”How is she?” he asked. “I know it must be hard for your family right now and I promise this will be the best day ever for her.”
”I appreciate that,” Jonathan said simply, leaving his side to go back and sit at his desk. He wasn’t a person to speak openly about his affairs in such a public place, and I knew the topic of his mother was highly sensitive. He picked up his pen and looked up. “So, shall we start?”
Louis took a seat opposite us and reached into his bag to pull out a file.
”So, I’ve been going through the venues that Helen sent me, and I’ve narrowed it down to a list of places that are available on short notice and have the capacity that you might be looking for. I mean, you have a great choice here.”
He pushed the folder towards us and we both tilted our heads to look at it. It consisted of several pages with pictures of beautiful buildings, the rooms inside, and the cost. I tried not to look at the amounts, but I couldn’t help but notice, and I worried slightly that Jonathan too would find them ridiculously priced.
I glanced across at him to see if I could judge his reaction, but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest. He noticed I was looking at him and he turned to me.
“What do you think so far?” he asked.
“I… I love them,” I said quietly, “I just, the cost…”
He laughed and under the table he gripped my leg.
“Kate, I told you I’d give you the world if I could. Pick a place. Choose one where you envisage us saying our vows.”
I flicked through the list again. They were all so beautiful, and I knew I was one of the luckiest women alive to have the opportunity to pick a venue out as easy as one, two, three.
“This one.” I pointed to a large Palladian mansion in beige with pillars and a large black door.
“Hey, nice choice!” Louis nodded. “Happy with that, Jonathan?”
“Anything she wants,” he replied.
“Great.” He turned the folder back to him. “That’s Apington Hall. The owners are great and really flexible. It comes with a bridal suite up there too, and a place for the brides fam—”
“Let’s talk numbers,” Jonathan interrupted, changing the subject and squeezing my leg under the table. “I think Helen has the list of our guests.”
“Right, right.”
Helen handed Louis the USB drive she had in her hand.
“Jonathan’s chosen a hundred and seventy guests for the ceremony and reception, and then a further one hundred for the evening party.”
“Love it,” he answered, putting it into his bag. “You’ve got names and addresses on there?”
She nodded.
“We’ve gone for simple invites because it’s quite short notice, and they’ll be sent out once they come back from the stationer tomorrow.”
He nodded and noted everything down in his book.
“Great, yeah, amazing. Okay, so what I’m going to do is leave these color boards with you tonight, and then I’ll call you tomorrow sometime for your answer, and then I’ll sort out the flowers and…” he opened another folder, “I’ve found an amazing caterer who’s actually free and is happy to work short notice.”
“The menu?” Jonathan asked.
“Here.”
He handed it to us, and we both read through the options. I knew it was a high society wedding and that there would be quite a number of important people in attendance, but the idea of a small, minute goat’s cheese tartlet for an appetizer was completely pointless in my eyes, especially since the quotes beside the menu options were astronomical.
“I’m not sure…” I said after reading another one. “I think I want something a bit more… hearty. I don’t mean a full on feast, just something with a bit more…”
“You want something for your guests to enjoy right? You don’t want fancy, you just want normal. No caviar, no lobster…?”
I nodded and he smiled, winking at Jonathan.
“You made the right choice with this one, she’s definitely a keeper.” He scribbled more notes down and took the folder back from us. “I’ll email over a new list to you this evening. I understand what you want, don’t worry.”
I sat back in my chair with relief, feeling slightly self-conscious that even despite my weight, I’d ordered more food, but as time went on my confidence grew because Jonathan made me feel like the sexiest woman in the world. He loved my curves and my body and all the parts that I hated. What could be more confidence boosting than that?
Jonathan took his hand away from my thigh and put it around the back of my chair protectively.
“So,” he said picking up his pen with the other hand, “when it comes to finances, Helen will release the funds you need by going to her directly. We’ll need things like favors, candles, table centerpieces, and a free bar? Kate and I are happy for you to pick what you think will go with the color scheme we choose.”
“Of course, yes.” He nodded.
“And,” Helen added, “I’m organizing a special place for Meredith to go. We’ve hired a nurse for her and she’ll be seated comfortably, so when booking tables just take that into account. We’ll have a catch up meeting in a couple of days to finalize what you’ve chosen.”
“Yes, that’s fine,” Louis said, still taking notes.
“I’ll also need to meet with you privately,” Jonathan said without looking at me. “I have a number of things I need to run through with you, just so you’re aware of what’s going to happen on the day.”
I looked at him suspiciously, but he refused eye contact. Before I had a chance to ask, Helen moved the conversation along, and suddenly I realized this wedding was getting much bigger than I’d anticipated.
How had I gone from being a woman sharing an apartment with so-called friends, hating love and jumping in and out of relationships, taking nothing from them, to sitting in the office of my fiancé with his assistant and a wedding planner, planning the biggest day of my life?
We tied up the rest of the meeting with a promise to send him our menu choices and our preferred color scheme, and Helen escorted the wedding planner out for us.
Once they’d all left and the room descended into silence, I got up and went to the window to look out over everything below, at the fast pace of New York beneath us and the open stretch of sky in front of me.
All the planning and excitement of getting married and walking down the aisle with Jonathan had been blurred by the fact that I had no one to share it with.
I didn’t have a sister to stay up for hours on end picking wedding dresses with or to go through bride magazines with and I didn’t have a mother or friends to give me any thoughts on my nerves. Worst of all, I didn’t have anyone to give me away—not even an uncle or a cousin from way back down the line. I had no one. I’d always known that. I always knew that I walked alone, but it hadn’t hurt as much as it did now that I was getting married, now that it mattered the most.
Jonathan came up behind me and put his strong hands on my shoulders.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, lowering his mouth to my ears. “Your muscles are tense.”
I took a deep breath and rested back against his firm, suited body, not sure if I wanted to ruin the buzz by pouring my heart out to him. What man wanted to be constantly reminded of how damaged their future wife is?
He turned me to look at him, his eyes searching mine with a firm expression on his face.
“I know what you’re thinking,” he said, lacing his fingers through mine, his hard stare making my heart pound. I was never going to tire of looking at him, I knew that much, and he was never going to stop making my stomach jump with excitement when he touched me.
He took another step towards me, closing the already barely-there gap between us and moving his other hand up the side of my body to the back of my neck and tangling his fingers into my hair.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said seriously. “Just know this, you’re not alone. You’ve got me now, and I’m never going to let you go, Kate. I’m never going to let you live another minute of your life alone, and that’s a promise.”