Luckily, it’s already fairly late in the afternoon by the time I arrive at Thomas’ place. His street is quiet, and it’s not too cold yet outside. I glance down at my phone and a smile plays on my lips. He texted me about twenty minutes ago that he had landed, and he would be home in about an hour’s time. I don’t tell him that I’m already here. Like a loser, albeit a slightly frightened loser, but a loser nonetheless.

I roll my suitcase onto his front porch and drop my backpack next to it before I begin to pace. I tell myself it’s in order to stay warm, but it’s a lie.

I’m nervous.

I don’t know why he’s coming home so much earlier than he’d planned, but I have a feeling I’m about to find out. I could tell just by the tone in his texts that whatever he’s been hiding, it’s on the verge of coming out—or maybe that’s all my own wishful thinking.

I’m completely lost inside of my own head when I catch his car pulling into the drive out of the corner of my eye. My stomach erupts in a flurry of butterflies and I can’t stop the smile from forming on my lips. Less than a minute later, I watch as he jogs toward me. Thomas wraps me in his arms and presses his lips against mine in a brutal kiss.

I accept happily. My mouth opening while his tongue plunges inside. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, I moan as he fucks me with his tongue. It feels like he was gone for more than simply one night. He gently releases my mouth with his, pressing his forehead against mine.

“We need to have a talk.”

“I agree,” I state.

He takes a step back, releasing me and looks to me, confusion clearly etched in his features. I glance to my bags and then back to him. “My roommate is having abusive boyfriend issues. She left our room and thought it would be safer if I left as well,” I explain.

“Fuck, you’re not leaving here,” Thomas announces, lifting his hand to run his fingers through his hair.

I give him a small smile and shake my head. “I have to leave for classes, or are you going to chain me to your bed?” I ask, giving him a smirk.

Thomas reaches out, wrapping his hand around my waist and gives me a squeeze. “Don’t give me any ideas, angel eyes. I’d do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

“Let’s get inside.”

Thomas lifts his chin and walks over to the front door, pulling his keys out of his pocket and then opening it for me. I walk through and once I’m in the living room, I look back and watch him bring my bags in, locking the door behind him when he’s finished.

“You wanted to talk,” I blurt.

Thomas nods, his eyes meeting mine and I see that guilt swimming in his gaze again, except this time he doesn’t shake it off, he allows me to see it there. I stumble backward until the backs of my knees hit the sofa and I sit, a long exhale of breath leaving my body.

My gaze tracks Thomas as he walks over to the chair that’s directly across from the sofa. I notice that he doesn’t sit next to me, and I know that that cannot mean anything good. He rests his forearms on his knees and hangs his head slightly, then lifts it and his blue eyes meet mine. That guilt, dammit, it feels like a punch to my gut and I know that something really awful is going to follow when he finally speaks.

“Thomas,” I breathe.

He shakes his head once, then he opens his mouth.

“I’m married, Ines.”

His words, they don’t seem real, and I keep my eyes glued to him, waiting for him to tell me that he’s just joking, or something, but he doesn’t.

“Married,” I finally whisper, the word just saying it aloud carves a piece of my heart out.

My eyes water and I shift my gaze to the side so that he can’t see it. Married, and I’ve been exactly what I was afraid I was… a play-thing. A stupid fucking college girl for him to have fun with.

I was falling in love with him, and he was playing with me. A tear leaks down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I can’t sit here for another second longer, surrounded in this deafening silence.

I stand, but somehow, he’s right in front of me. Thomas wraps his hands around my hips and squeezes. “Look at me, sweetheart,” he orders.

My eyes snap to his. “Don’t call me that,” I grind out.

His lips tip into a small, sad, smile. “You’re my angel eyes. I’m married, Ines. But we had a silent arrangement, my wife and I. She lives in New York, and I live here. What we did while we weren’t around each other, we didn’t ask, nor did we tell,” he murmurs.

I wrinkle my nose at his words, finding them disgusting. He chuckles and presses his index finger against my turned-up nose. “None of it was by my choice, but it’s something that just happened over the years. It ends now.”

My heart starts to race. “What ends now?” I breathe.

“My marriage, the arrangement, all of it. I want you, Ines. I’m tired of living this lie. I’ve already scheduled a meeting with an attorney, and I’m filing for divorce,” he announces.

His words, they should make me smile, they should make my heart soar, but they don’t. Instead, I find that I’m confused. I’m the other woman, and it makes me feel dirty. I try to take a step back, or at least, away from him, but his grip on my hips won’t allow me to move.

“Please, Ines. Understand that I’ve not been happy for a really long time. I should have walked away from Danielle, from our legal union, a hell of a long time ago. I didn’t. Maybe I was holding onto hope that something would change, or maybe, I was waiting for you and the way I feel about you to kick my ass in gear. I don’t know, but I can’t lose you,” he practically pleads.

I lift my hand and cup my forehead, feeling the pain of a headache beginning. “I don’t know, I don’t know what to think. This is so unexpected, you don’t wear a ring, I looked. There are no signs of another woman in this house, I’m so confused,” I practically cry.

Thomas guides me back to the sofa and he shifts his hands so that one is wrapped around my waist and the other cups my cheek. “Look at me, Ines. Let me see those angel eyes,” he orders gently.

I suck in a deep breath and let it out as my eyes lift to his. His gaze is clear, so clear, his blue eyes holding nothing but concern in them. “I feel dirty,” I admit.

He shakes his head. “No. Never. This is on me, and I tried to end shit earlier when we first met. Danielle wanted me to pretend to be her devoted husband. She’s up for some big promotion and she wanted me to pretend for the next three months. That’s why I went to the city, I was supposed to go to some party with her tonight. I couldn’t go through with it though, sweetheart. I knew it was wrong, and I missed you too damn much.”

His words should fill me with some kind of warmth and love, but they don’t. “I still feel dirty and disgusting,” I state. It’s all wrong. So fucking wrong. I shake my head but Thomas’ fingers in my cheek flex and my eyes lift to his.

“If you call yourself dirty one more fucking time, I’m going to spank your ass,” he growls. My eyes widen, and I gasp. “You are fucking perfect. None of this is on you, only me. I shouldn’t have allowed her to talk me into the three-month thing. I should have filed immediately. It’s done, Ines. So fucking done. In fact…” His words trail off and I watch in horror as he fishes his phone out of his pocket and then scrolls through the names. He presses a couple of buttons and then the sound of ringing fills the room. A female voice says, hello, and that’s when I realize that he’s just called his wife on speakerphone. My eyes grow at least five times their size and I shake my head, but Thomas moves his hand to my knee and gently wraps his fingers around me.

“Danielle, I know that I’ve mentioned why I want this divorce, but it’s over. There is someone else, and I can’t pretend for the next three months, I can’t do that to her or to you. It just isn’t fair to anybody.”

I’m honestly shocked that he’s called her right in front of me and that what he said to me was the truth. Although he’s kept this from me, I hope that we can eventually build some trust between us, right now, I don’t trust anything though. I’m shocked and hurt, and I feel fucking crazy. My skin feels hot and tight, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it through this conversation.

“You fucking asshole,” she hisses on the other end of the line. “We had a goddamn deal and you left me high and fucking dry for your little twit, for your whore. I told you that you’d be sorry, I thought you would think about that,” she screams.

Thomas interrupts her. “You watch your fucking mouth,” he growls, his voice lethal and low.

“You’ll regret this you lowlife piece of shit. You will fucking rue the day you fucked me over, Thomas,” she shouts and then the phone goes dead.

I watch as Thomas tosses his phone onto the coffee table and turns to me. “It’s done, Ines. It’s just you and me now, angel eyes, if you’ll have me?”

“Why now? Why me? I’m not going to even pretend that I’m the first girl you’ve had in your bed other than her.”

Thomas lifts his hand and runs his fingers through his hair, his blue eyes bright and brilliant as he takes me in. “No, there have been others, except you’re wrong in the fact that there’s been no other woman in my bed aside from her. I’ve never brought a woman here, not once.”

“That is supposed to make me feel better?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “No, it’s not, but it’s the truth. Nameless, faceless, countless moments are all that they were. Not once did I ever imagine a future with any of them, not even Danielle, not really. But with you, it’s been different since I first laid eyes on you, sweetheart.”

I can’t deny that I’ve felt the same. That everything about him has been different for me too, but I can’t let him off the hook quite so easily either. “The reason you didn’t take me to your bedroom that first night I stayed here?” I ask.

“She was still living here at the time. I told her it was over shortly after, I had her take her things and go. This is no longer her space, just ours,” he says.

“Ours?”

Thomas nods and touches his finger to my lips, tracing them before he drags it across my jaw and then down the side, wrapping his entire hand around the side of my neck. “Ours, Ines. I want you to stay here, I don’t think I could handle another night without you at my side,” he rasps.

I feel the same way, but to completely forgive, and forget his wife, the fact that he’s still very much married, even if it is only in name—I can’t do that. I search his eyes, looking for any sign that he’s holding back, but there’s none there. He’s finally being open with me, but I can’t just pretend his lies were something small and insignificant.

“I don’t know if I can just immediately move on from this,” I truthfully admit.

Thomas nods, sadness washes over his features but there’s a determination in them as well. “I’m not asking for everything to just magically go back to the way it was. I know I messed up, sweetheart, and I did that in a huge way. I’m just asking you not to leave, to stay and work it out—to be mine.”

I lift my hand and sift my fingers through the soft hair at the side of his head. “I can give you that, Papi,” I mutter with a small smile. “I won’t leave.”

I’m not sure that I could leave anyway—I love this man. I don’t tell him that, though. Not today anyway. I will when the time is right, but that is not immediate, or anytime soon.

Thomas gives me a nod and turns his head, placing a gentle kiss on the palm of my hand. “Are you hungry?” he asks, keeping his voice low and gentle.

Thinking about his words for a second, I can’t recall the last time I had a meal. I know that I skipped lunch to work out, and I don’t remember if I actually ate breakfast or not. As if on cue, my stomach growls. Thomas glances down, then brings his eyes back up to me. “You’re hungry,” he grunts.

“I’m hungry,” I admit.

He offers to order takeout and I all but beg for pizza. For whatever reason, it sounds simply amazing and my stomach growls again at the idea of the greasy pie. “Pepperoni, please,” I call out as he reaches for his phone.

Thomas gives me a wink. “Go get your stuff put away in my room, use whatever drawers you want, I can move my things around.”

I blink, thinking about sleeping in his room, a room he shared with his wife and suddenly I feel sick. “Thomas,” I whisper.

He looks up from his phone and his face softens. “Sweetheart, I’m not sleeping without you, not even for a night. You want to be pissed and turn your back to me, that’s fine, but we sleep in the same bed. Every fucking night,” he announces.

My eyes widen at his words and I suck in a breath, trying not to gasp at his words. “I’m not pissed at you, Thomas. I’m just hurt, and a bit confused,” I admit.

“Well then when you’re those things, we sleep in the same bed too.”

I bite the side of my lip and give him a nod. I don’t want to upset him, but I’m not sure that we should be sleeping in the same bed or sharing the same room. He’s still very much married, and I know we’ve already been cheating, but I don’t know that I can continue to do so with a clear conscious.

Making a decision, and knowing that Thomas won’t like it, I make my way to the guest room. I listen to him order pizza while I put my things away, and I hope like hell that me being in here instead of his bedroom, doesn’t set him completely off. I can’t sleep in that bed, in the bed he shared with his wife though. It makes me feel wrong—so, so wrong.

Once I’ve ordered pizza, I walk back out into the garage and gather my small bag from my trunk, then close the garage door, and make my way back into the house. Walking upstairs, I turn toward my bedroom but find the space empty. I hear a noise from my guest room and I close my eyes. Dropping my bag to the floor, I decide to make my way toward Ines.

Opening the half-closed door, I watch her. She’s unpacking her bag, obviously ignoring my demand that she stays in my room. I clear my throat and watch as her spine straightens and stiffens, all at the same time. Then she slowly turns around to face me.

“You aren’t in our bedroom,” I announce, making it clear I want her in what I consider our space.

Ines shakes her head, her eyes glancing at the ground before she lifts her determined gaze to meet my own. “I’m not going to live in her space,” she says, shaking her head.

Quickly, I march over to her, wrapping one hand around her waist and the other around the side of her neck. “This isn’t her house, it never was her house, Ines. She didn’t live here. She fucking hated it here. She visited, and rarely, that’s all. This is more your house than it is hers,” I growl, my anger getting the best of me. I’m nowhere near angry with Ines, but with myself more than anything.

“I can’t, Thomas. I just can’t,” she mutters as tears fill her eyes.

Pressing my forehead against hers, I let out a ragged breath. “We stay here, then, sweetheart,” I concede.

“Okay,” she nods.

Lifting my head, I place my lips on her forehead and inhale through my nose. “I’m not sleeping without you. I don’t care where it is, Ines. Here, the master, wherever. It’s you and me, angel eyes.”

I don’t let her respond; my hands fall away from her and I turn to walk out of the room. I’m on a mission, and that is to get all of my shit and bring it over here. Luckily, there’s nothing in the guest room closet. It only takes me a few minutes to grab everything on the hangers and move it over. Ines watches with a shocked look on her face the entire time.

“Thomas,” she smiles.

I shake my head. “This is our space, Ines. Our room,” I announce.

“Ours,” she hums back.

Her face doesn’t light up nearly as bright as it did before I told her the lie I’d been keeping from her, but she still gives me a smile, and I welcome it. I allow it to warm me through and through. I’ll earn her trust back, happily. No matter how long it takes. She is mine—I am hers and together we will make this something beautiful together.