I shouldn’t have told Ines to come over tonight, I shouldn’t have but I did. I can’t stop thinking about her, and when she said she couldn’t stay away from me for six days, something inside of me ached, because I know that I can’t stay away from her for six days either.

I was relieved when she wanted to see me, especially after how I behaved Tuesday evening. Having to see Danielle tomorrow night, and all weekend is weighing heavily on my mind. Having to see her and continue lying to Ines is killing me.

Wednesday, seeing Ines in class, I knew that I couldn’t not see her until Monday. I have to feel her against me, her body pressing against my own, at least once more before I fly to New York. I’ve decided to have a long conversation with my dad while I’m in town. I want to talk to him about divorcing Danielle and ask him if I should hire an attorney here in Nebraska, or in the city.

I glance at my phone as I begin to pack my bag, I want to have it completed before Ines arrives. I don’t want to waste a minute with her. She should be arriving in the next thirty minutes. I offered to pick her up and drive her here, but she was insistent that she would get here on her own.

I know that she has a car, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her drive it. I don’t live within walking distance to campus, so I assume she’s going to take the bus, possibly, and I honestly don’t like that idea. I really don’t want to even think about it. She refused, to the point where I could tell it was going to turn into a fight. This will be the one and only time I allow her to take a bus alone. I don’t like the way it makes me feel, not knowing if she’s safe or not.

Quickly, I look around my bedroom for any signs of Danielle. I told her to take all of her shit, and while there isn’t anything of hers left in the closets, drawers, or bathroom, I don’t know that she’s taken every single piece of herself out of the house. Honest to fuck, I haven’t paid much attention at all. My mind has been occupied by Ines.

The front doorbell rings and my stomach flips in anticipation. I haven’t been inside of her or held her since Monday. I feel like a fucking addict, like a crackhead. I’m addicted to her pussy, to her smell, taste, and her goddamn smile. I don’t waste even a second, my feet carrying me swiftly toward the door.

Yanking it open, my lips immediately turn up into a wide smile. Ines is standing on my front porch, a backpack slung over her shoulder and a smile on her face. Her long hair is down, and she’s dressed like it’s summer outside and not a chilly fall evening.

“Aren’t you cold?” I ask, standing to the side to let her in.

She wrinkles her nose, stepping into the living room, immediately dropping her bag at her feet and turning to face me. “I’m fucking freezing. I won’t make it through the winter. My brothers and sisters warned me, but I didn’t quite realize what I was getting into,” she announces as she shivers.

Reaching out, I wrap my hand around her bicep and gently tug her against my chest. I run my hands up and down her arms to warm her up. “You need some warm clothes, angel eyes,” I say, looking down at her gorgeous face. Her teeth chatter a little and she gives me her giant smile.

“Maybe you can just keep me warm all winter?” she asks, lifting a brow and looking extremely mischievous.

Leaning down slightly, I run my nose alongside hers. “I’ll do my damnedest,” I grunt.

Ines wraps her arms around me, running her fingertips up my back and pressing her full tits against my chest. “I had plans to feed you,” I mumble, lowering my chin a bit more so that my lips touch hers.

“Oh, I’m hungry,” she hums against my mouth.

I moan, unbelieving that this woman is in my home—that she’s mine. That she wants me just as often, and just as badly, as I want her. I’ve never had this before, nor have I felt this way before and I feel like I’ve been dead the past forty-four years, and I’m finally alive.

“Food, Ines. We need food,” I grunt, not wishing to eat anything but her pussy, but knowing we need sustenance.

She shakes her head, her arms tightening around me, and she kisses my jawline, then moves her way down to my neck. It’s my turn to shiver, but not from a chill in the air, but instead from need. “I need you, Thomas. It’s been too long,” she whispers against my skin.

My hands automatically grab her waist and I grip her tightly, pulling her against my hard length. She moans, her fingers abandoning my back in search of the front buttons of my shirt. “Ines, that’s not what this is about, I just missed you,” I groan.

It sounds like a lie, even as I say the words. Why else would I ask her to spend the night, especially right before I leave for New York? I’m such a goddamn dick. I want inside of her, I crave to be inside of her, every fucking part of her. I can lie to myself all day long, but that’s exactly what it would be, a fucking lie. I need this girl like I need to breathe.

Reaching down, I grip my hands around the backs of her thighs and I lift her up. Ines opens her legs and wraps them around my waist. Her eyes bore into mine, but neither of us speaks. Apparently, we’ve both missed each other’s bodies equally, and we can think of nothing else until we’ve at least had a taste.

I plan on tasting tonight, too. Monday didn’t leave me nearly satisfied enough, it wasn’t enough of her, of being inside of her. I’ve quickly come to the conclusion that I don’t like quick fucks, at least not with Ines.

Walking her toward my bedroom, I gently set her down on her feet. I watch as she takes a step back and looks around, her brows furrowing before her gaze settles on me. “This room is different,” she announces.

It hits me, she was in my guest room last time she spent the night, now she’s in the master. Lifting my arm, I run my hand through my hair, trying to come up with some kind of explanation for not allowing her in my actual bedroom before.

“My sheets weren’t clean in here, last time, I knew the guest ones were,” I lie. It comes out far smoother, and easier, than it should.

Ines’ eyes narrow slightly, but then she shakes her head once as if to shake the thoughts away. I don’t want to question her, or her thoughts. I don’t know if, or how, I could answer her. I don’t want to think about it. What I want is this divorce to be done, so that I never have to think about the fact that I’m not free to give all of me to Ines.

“Take everything off,” I grunt in an attempt to take my mind off of the thoughts that were beginning to swirl around.

Ines smiles, her face lighting up just like it always does when she’s happy. I watch as she pulls her flimsy t-shirt over her head, throwing it somewhere to the side, then she quickly unsnaps her bra and tosses it to join her shirt. I almost whimper at the sight of her full tits, I haven’t seen them since last weekend in Kansas. Her jeans are next, then her panties.

“Hands and knees, spread for me,” I practically growl.

She doesn’t walk directly to the bed. Instead, she slowly makes her way to me. Reaching her hand up, she traces her finger along my lips before she turns and walks toward the bed. I watch her hips sway, her ass begging to be grabbed, and spanked. Goddamn, I need her, so fucking badly.

My eyes take her in, her legs spread widely, her ass tipped toward me, and her chest on the bed. I lick my lips at the sight of her pink pussy, slick and waiting for me on the edge of the bed. Slowly, I make my way toward her, sinking to my knees when I arrive at my destination.

I blow cool air against her center, Ines moans and pushes her hips closer to me. Running both of my hands up each side of her thighs, I stop when I’ve reached her ass and I spread her cheeks apart. “Thomas,” she rasps.

I lick her from clit to her tight asshole. “Fuck,” she gasps.

Moving back down to her slit, I slide my tongue inside of her and fuck her. I bury my face in her sweet pussy, and I enjoy her flavor as it floods my taste buds. Flicking her clit with my tongue, I move my hand down her side until I find her heavy tit.

Squeezing the flesh, I enjoy the way she pushes back against my face when I do. Letting her search for her climax. I continue to alternate between flicking her clit and fucking her with my tongue over and over. My fingers find her nipple, pinching it and tugging on it as she pushes back searching for her release.

The little noises she makes above me causes my cock to practically bust my zipper wide open. Her hips start to move erratically, shaking, and her pussy grows even wetter. We groan simultaneously and then she lets out a scream. It’s like nothing I’ve heard before. Her body attempts to shoot forward, but my grip on her hip keeps her still and I continue to flick her clit, then swirl my tongue around it, gently biting it—never letting up.

She reaches behind me and wraps her fingers in my hair, trying to pull my head from between her legs but I don’t let her, she tastes too fucking good. When her body goes completely slack, I gently lap up her climax before I release her and stand to my feet.

“Holy shit,” she sighs.

I glance at her face and there’s an unmovable smile tipping her lips, her eyes are closed, and she looks like she’s in fucking bliss. Quickly, I remove my clothing and I grab ahold of her hips again, pulling her to her knees.

“Thomas?” she asks, opening her eyes and twisting her neck around to look at me. “It’s my turn to taste,” she says breathlessly. She’s in no shape to take my cock down her throat. I shake my head and align my dick with her wet as fuck slit.

“Later, angel eyes,” I wink.

Slowly, I dive into her tight heat, my eyes never leaving hers with every centimeter I sink farther inside of her. Once I’m completely seated, she lets out a long sigh as her eyes flutter closed. Gliding my hand up her spine, I wrap my fingers around the back of her neck. “You good?” I ask softly.

“When you’re inside of me, it feels so good. I never want you to leave,” she murmurs huskily, her voice gentle and sweet.

I don’t make a move, staying completely inside of her warmth. Shifting my hand to her tits, I wrap my arm beneath them and guide her upper body vertical. I pepper the back of her neck, and her shoulder with kisses, my cock begging to move, but my angel eyes needs some tenderness. I’m leaving her for three days, and I haven’t been that great this past week to her.

“I’ve missed you, sweetheart,” I hum against her neck.

She turns her head, her mouth touching the underside of my jaw, whispering against my skin. “Make me come again, Papi, like only you can.” A shiver runs through me, at her words. Fuck yes, I’ll make her come again, and again—as many times as she wants me to.

My tongue snakes out and licks the skin where her shoulder and neck meet. Shifting my hold on her, I drape my arm around her tits, grabbing ahold of one with my hand. My other hand moves across her hip and I press my fingertips against her clit. It’s still swollen, assuredly sensitive to the touch, but Ines doesn’t push my hand away, instead, she lets out a long moan.

I pull out of her body as far as I can without losing my grip on both her tits and clit, then I pump into her. I can feel her ass against my pelvis and I groan, wishing I could be buried inside of her there, one day I will be, too.

One day I will own all of her.

I continue to kiss, lick, and suck on her neck, enjoying the taste of her skin as I fuck her tight warmth. She reaches behind me and shifts her fingers into my hair, gripping on tightly to the back of my neck. I groan against her skin, my hips moving faster, along with my fingers.

“Thomas, oh baby, I’m going to come,” she moans breathlessly, followed by a whimper.

Her little noises set me off. I thrust a little harder, and faster, my fingers circling her clit much the same way. She pushes against me, her body moving to find her release, her pussy beginning to pulse around me and I know that she’s as close as she claims.

Her entire body goes rock solid, freezing, with nothing but a gasp and her pussy squeezes me so tightly that it almost hurts my dick. I don’t stop fucking her though, I continue to take her until I feel my balls ache and then I thrust inside of her one last time. I come with a loud grunt, my dick twitching and filling her body with cum.

Without losing our connection, I gently lay her forward on the bed, pressing my chest against her back. Her hand stays gripped in the back of my hair and I find that the bite of pain is something I enjoy when it’s from her. I squeeze her breast, and she turns her head to face me.

“Can we stay like this, always?” she asks.

“We would die. We need to eat, and at least one of us has to work to pay bills,” I chuckle.

I give her a wink, thrusting into her with my softening cock. I don’t want to lose our connection yet, no matter how uncomfortable I am with my legs straight out behind me. “Yeah, eventually food and money would be good. But for now, I could live off of this,” she sighs.

“I have to get up early, and I won’t be home after classes, let’s get some food, angel eyes,” I say.

Her mouth turns into a slight frown. “Where do you have to go?” she asks.

I gently remove myself from her body, mourning the loss of her heat as I stand up straight. “I have to see my dad for the weekend,” I state, omitting the entirety of my trip, just as I’ve omitted a fuck of a lot over the past few weeks with her.

Ines stands and bends down, reaching for my shirt. I watch as she shoves her arms in, then buttons up three buttons in the center, leaving the top and bottom of the oversized fabric loose. “Is he okay?” she asks, tipping her head to the side.

Reaching out, I tuck her dark hair behind her ear, then cup her cheek. Running my thumb along the underside of her eye I give her a nod. “He’s good, sweetheart,” I state.

I don’t leave the discussion open for more. I can’t risk saying much more. I wish that I could tell her everything, this lying by omission is getting harder and harder.

I stand at the café, watching Thomas drive away from me. Last night was great, amazing even, and I want to believe that it meant just as much to him as it did me. I felt it just in the way he looked at me. I’m not just some fling to him, and yet, he doesn’t let me in.

He’s holding something back, and it can’t just be the fact that I’m his student, he’s my professor, and the school would shit a brick if they knew we were involved. There’s something larger at play here, but I just can’t figure it out.

Making my way toward my dorm, I decide that I can’t hyper-focus on what he isn’t telling me. It could be nothing, or it could be something huge. I won’t know until he trusts me enough to tell me. I’m just going to continue being available for as long as he’ll let me. It will probably end in heartbreak, but didn’t I know that from the beginning, anyway? I did. He’s almost thirty years older than me, I highly doubt he’ll want to keep me forever, no matter how badly I’ll want him to.

I hurry to my room, unloading my backpack of yesterday’s clothes, and my toiletries. Replacing it all with my books for the day. My first class is physics, and I’ll get to stare at Thomas for the next ninety minutes. I know that I just left him, but I seriously cannot wait to see his face again.

Rushing across campus, I slip into my seat, exactly thirty seconds before Thomas’ phone alerts him to start class. His eyes connect to mine and he shakes his head once with a smirk on his lips. He thinks I’m crazy for coming to class, cutting it so close to being late, every single time. It’s just the way I am, the way I’ve always been.

The lecture is boring as hell, at least I think that it is. I don’t pay attention to a single word Thomas says. My eyes are focused solely on his lips, and I imagine the way they felt just a few hours ago when they were kissing every inch of my body. When they brought me so much pleasure I literally cried out, and tears fell from my eyes.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur, and I find myself in my room on a Friday night, alone. It sucks, and I hate it. I stare at my phone, willing it to ring, but it never does, and I end up falling asleep early. I’m exhausted from my evening with Thomas. We didn’t sleep much, so I’m in need of a good night’s rest.

Around three in the morning, I wake up hearing Jessa come into the room. She quietly changes and I hear her crawl into bed. Then she tosses and turns for about twenty minutes. “You think too fucking loud, Jessa,” I announce, my voice sounding groggy.

“What on earth?” she gasps.

Slowly I sit up and she does the same. I watch as she looks down at her fingers and I let out a sigh. My poor roommate, she has problems a mile wide. “Tell me what’s going on,” I gently demand.

“Cole asked me to leave Trent, and I’m going to,” she admits.

My lips form a smile, excitement filling me at her words. Good for her, but I’m not convinced it will really happen. Lola told me at least once a day, every day, she was going to leave her ex for months before she actually did it.

“Why are you leaving all of a sudden?” I ask, wishing to know exactly what’s going through her mind.

I watch as she leans back against the wall and stretches her legs out in front of her. “Remember how I told you that Trent has some appetites that I’m not comfortable with?” she asks.

I vaguely remember the passing conversation, but Jessa is so guarded, and I don’t know exactly what she meant.

“Well, he doesn’t care about my level of comfort, and it’s just not something I can be all right with, ever. His parents are here and Jim, his dad, he came up to me alone and he talked to me. He told me the real reason he and Margie took me in. It had nothing to do with Trent; it was because they wanted to give me a stable life, because they’ve always cared for me,” she rambles.

Her words don’t surprise me. Jessa is a sweet girl, and I could see someone wishing to help her out any way that they could. It’s also exactly as I believed, her dickhead boyfriend was just manipulating her this entire time. I express as much to her and she sucks in a deep breath before she speaks again. Her words horrify me.

“He wants to be with other people, other girls, and he doesn’t care if I’m there or not. He also wants to set up meetings for me to be with other men, while he is there. I didn’t ask details on what his role would be. I can’t do it, though,” she practically whimpers.

He is such a fucking douchebag. “Jessa,” I whisper, unsure of exactly what to say. The things I want to call him, I don’t think this is the right time for it.

Clearing my throat, I ask a question that I’m not sure I should, “Is this like a pimp thing? Is Trent trying to make money off of selling you to other guys? What’s going on exactly?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. He claims he just wants to see me with other girls, and guys. It feels all wrong though. You know? I get it. I really do. I understand that people like that, but it’s not for me, and he doesn’t care how I feel. That’s not love, and I don’t love him, either.”

I nod at her admittance of her lack of love for Trent. I knew she didn’t love him, and he doesn’t love her, no matter what he claims, he can’t, not if he wants these things from her. I don’t even know her that well, and I know she is not the type of girl who would feel comfortable doing those things.

“But you love Cole?” I ask.

“I don’t,” she admits. “I don’t love him because I don’t know him well enough, but I really like him. I like him more than I’ve ever liked anybody in my life. To me, that’s worth at least giving us a try,” she murmurs.

I nod, not only agreeing but also liking her answer. I feel the same way about Thomas. I don’t know if I love him yet, but I like him more than any other guy I’ve ever had in my life to date. “Good. I’m glad that you finally see that you’re worth more than what you’ve been accepting from Trent,” I state.

We don’t say anything else. I enjoy sitting in the quiet room with her. I think if I wanted to bring up Thomas right now, and how unsure I was feeling about everything, that she would gladly listen to me.

However, I don’t. I’m not sure I want to talk about how he makes me feel yet. About how his leaving for the weekend makes me feel. I’m not sure I like how I’m feeling right now and that makes me feel weird.

I just want him to open up to me. I want him to tell me whatever it is that makes his eyes go guarded, that makes the guilty look appear on his face every so often. It’s something, I know that it is, but what it is, I’m not sure of.

Honestly, I’m not sure that I ever want to know. Not if it’s going to hurt me. Maybe I’ll just live in denial forever, or in the dark rather. I enjoy being with him, and he’s kind and generous. I wish that I could be happy with our relationship being only surface level, but I can’t.

I want the fairy tale.

I want everything with Thomas. As much as I want to be able to just let everything play out and live in a state of being able to settle for less than what I truly desire, I know that I can’t. I cannot be my mother, I refuse, and with Thomas, I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t have all of him.