Chapter Twenty-One
I woke up early, the light from outside still thin and watery as it crept through the window opposite me. But I couldn’t help but smile when I smelt breakfast cooking in the next room, and reached over to my side of the bed to realize that Nate wasn’t there. He had to be in the kitchen – he was still working on a businessman’s schedule, and that meant early mornings for prime productivity.
I rolled out of bed, taking my time to get myself into something a little more decent; we had spent most of the night before fucking and I had enjoyed sleeping naked next to him, feeling his warm, bare skin against my own. But for now, I was glad to put on some clothes and head through to see what he was making me.
I still couldn’t believe this was really happening. After all the time I’d spent going back and forth and up and down about what I wanted from him and what he wanted from me, I was waking up in my tiny little apartment to find the man of my dreams cooking me something hot for breakfast. Sometimes, it felt something close to a dream, and I had trouble thinking of anything but how this couldn’t be real. But as I rounded the corner out of the bedroom and saw him standing in my kitchen, in nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants, I had to remind myself that yes, this was really happening and yes, he was really here. He was frowning slightly as he looked down at the stove, and the kettle was boiling behind him.
“Morning,” I called out to him, running a hand through my hair so that it fell down my back in messy waves. I knew he liked it when I had my hair down – he always played with it when we were falling asleep together, and he always made a point of involving my hair when we were hooking up, whether he was tugging on it as he was taking me from behind or stroking it softly as we made love of an evening.
“Morning,” he called back, and picked up the rubber spatula from the sideboard and set about dealing with whatever it was in the pan in front of him.
“What have you got there?” I asked, peering into the pan, and he shrugged.
“I’m trying to make pancakes but I’m not convinced they’re going to turn out the way I thought they would in my head,” he admitted, making me giggle.
“They look pretty good to me,” I remarked, inspecting the puffy pillows of pastry in the pan. My mouth was already watering for them. “I have some syrup in the cupboard if you want to grab it.”
“Sure,” he nodded, and turned to root through my cupboards to find what he was looking for. I took the opportunity to ogle him a little; he hadn’t been hitting the gym quite as much as he usually did in the last few weeks, but that was fine by me. I liked him a tiny bit softer. It made him even nicer to cuddle with of an evening. Plus, it wasn’t like he was anything close to out of shape; no, the muscles in his back and his shoulders still flexed impressively when he reached up to grab something from the top shelf, and his arms-
“What are you looking at?” He asked as he turned back around, and I blinked and reminded myself that I was looking at a real human man and not just my hot fuck-toy. I grinned at him playfully.
“Just admiring,” I cocked my head at him, coming around the counter and hitching myself up on to the tabletop next to him. I had always dreamed of something like this, of lazy weekend days with the man I loved where he would cook me breakfast while I sat and bantered with him, but had always assumed that kind of thing was reserved for the heroines in romantic comedies. Not someone like me. But apparently, the universe would deliver if you spent long enough chasing the same guy. And fuck, there was no doubt in my mind that all of this had been worth it.
“Yeah, well, don’t get too close,” he warned. “I might get distracted.”
“Oh yeah?” I let my foot brush up the side of his leg playfully. “And then what?”
“And then your breakfast will get burned,” he replied, though he shifted a few inches closer to me and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on my lips. I hooked an arm around his neck, smiling into the embrace pulling him close and enjoying how he felt next to me this morning specifically. He pulled back after a moment, eyes still closed, like he was savoring.
“Mmm,” he sighed to himself before turning his attention back to breakfast. “I don’t think the novelty of that’s ever going to wear off.”
“So when are we going to stay the night at your place?” I asked. “Seems silly to waste it when it’s just sitting there unused.”
He pulled a face as he carefully flipped the pancake in front of him.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Do we have to go back there at all?”
“I mean, at some point we’re going to have to, yeah,” I pointed out. “You can just make like it doesn’t exist, can you?”
“I can try,” He shrugged. “It’s just…that place was where things were really bad between us, you know? I spent a lot of nights up in there wondering if I wasn’t making some really big fucking mistakes and I don’t want to be reminded of that feeling.”
“We could wipe those memories away,” I suggested playfully. “Put some new ones in, in their place.”
“Tempting as that is,” He cocked an eyebrow, shifting me slightly down the counter so he could grab the bowl that was full of the pancake mix. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.”
I fell silent for a long moment. I knew he was proud of that place, so why didn’t he want me coming back there with him? My apartment was awesome, obviously, and I was glad that he was so happy to spend so much time here with me, but at the same time I couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to leave behind everything that had made up his old life. And he couldn’t do that. Not that I didn’t want him to, but the business still needed him, everyone who worked for him still needed him, and, no matter how much I liked our little love-cocoon together, I wasn’t going to pretend that those things hadn’t crossed my mind.
“Is it because you think Dad will come find you there?” I asked, half-teasing, half-serious. His face darkened for a second and I knew that I’d pressed a button that I perhaps should not have gone near, but we both knew that it was the truth.
“I think you should eat your breakfast,” he slid out the pancake on to a plate. “And we can talk about something more fun than that.”
I knew better than to argue with him, no matter how much I wanted to chase him up and pin him down on everything that had happened with my father. We hadn’t discussed it at great length since the day that I’d last heard from my Dad, though I knew that it had been plaguing Nate since then; he would glance at my phone every time it rang and check to see if it was my dad, and every time it wasn’t I could see his face drop a little. As far as the business was concerned, Dad hadn’t got in touch to try and dissolve the contract, but that might have been because he was just trying to avoid the two of us at all costs. I wouldn’t have blamed him, necessarily – I think that Dad wanted nothing more than to pretend that none of this was happening and that he had made up the whole thing in his head, and he would stick to that notion as long as he possibly could.
I placed my hand on my stomach as I grabbed the plate from Nate and went to douse the pancake in syrup. I knew it wasn’t the healthiest thing but I had been craving so much sugar in the last couple of weeks, but at least my morning sickness seemed to have abated a little bit. It was so good having him around to take care of me when I was feeling under the weather and I was more grateful than he would ever know that he had stepped up to look after me when I needed him the most. I sat down on the couch and inhaled the sweet, sticky scent of the pancake on the plate in front of me. Mmm. I could get used to this.
A minute or two later Nate joined me, flopping down on the couch next to me and shooting me a smile as he immediately tucked in to his breakfast.
“You’re not missing work, are you?” I frowned at him. I had been worried about it ever since he had come down to stay at my place, which was so much further from the office than the apartment he stayed in normally; when he did make it into work instead of working from this very couch, it would be a good, long commute and he wouldn’t spend long there before he came back to see me once more. He shrugged.
“Not really,” he admitted. “I thought I would a lot more, you know? Usually I get bored without it, but I guess this…all of this is a new kind of challenge.”
“Oh, you type-A people,” I jibed. “I can promise you that me being pregnant is way more than some challenge for you to hack.”
“Yeah, I know,” He rolled his eyes playfully at me. “But I’m still going to be the best pregnant-lady-partner ever. You know that, right?”
“Obviously,” I conceded, figuring that it was foolish to argue with him. “But seriously, when are you going to be going back to work full-time?”
“Why, can’t wait to get rid of me?” He flashed me a grin, and then shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea. I kind of want to just hand over the running of the company to the heads of department for a while, just as long as…well, as long as you’re pregnant, for sure.”
“And then after the baby comes?”
“Well, I guess that depends on what you’re doing,” he looked me in the eye, challenging me lightly. “Have you thought about that yet?”
“Honestly, I have no fucking idea,” I shook my head and sighed. “I know I should be looking for a job but it’s so hard to think about what my life will look like after…you know, after it’s born.”
“Have you thought any more about going back to school?” He replied through a mouthful of food. He would talk with his mouth full when he was excited sometimes, and for the time being I actually thought it was kind of cute, though I wasn’t sure how much longer than goodwill would last.
“Uh, a little,” I replied, drawing shapes in the syrup on my plate with my fork. “I think – that seems like the best option for me, for now, at least.”
“You know I’d pay for everything, right?” He nodded, as though there was to be no debate on the matter.
“Yeah, you keep telling me,” I reminded him gently. Ever since he had practically moved into my apartment a couple of weeks before, he had pretty much covered everything that I would let him. I had a feeling he would have set up a direct debit for my rent and bills if I would have let him. I knew it was his way of showing affection, of trying to prove to me that he wasn’t going anywhere, but I already believed him on that one – he just couldn’t seem to get it through his head that I didn’t want to be with him for his money. I wondered how many women there’d been before me who had come skulking around him looking for payout. How many people would think this pregnancy was an example of me trying to do exactly that. I pushed those thoughts at once from my head – there was no point getting myself all hung up on it. We had already spent quite enough time as a couple wondering what everyone around us would think of us, and for the time being I was more than happy to forget about the world beyond these walls and just get to know Nate in a way I never truly had before.
I finished up my breakfast and got to my feet, but before I could go anywhere Nate was up too, and snatching the plate from my hand.
“You, sit down,” he commanded, his voice firm. “I’m not having you on your feet if I can help it.”
“You know that I’m not going to break down into pieces if I do a single chore, right?” I reminded him, but I happily took my place back on the couch and watched as he began to tidy in the kitchen. Sure, he was being a little overcautious about what I did and where I went, but honestly, it was nice to know that someone cared about me deeply enough to bother with stuff like that. I grinned to myself, biting my lip. Thank goodness it was a weekend morning, because I was so far from done with Nate today.
I got up, headed over to him, and made sure to swing my hips plenty so attract his attention; he looked up and I at once saw the way his eyes travelled up and down my body, like he owned me, like he wanted me right then and there. He forced himself to meet my gaze, playing the decent, respectable man for a moment. But I didn’t want him playing at that. I wanted him playing at something else entirely.
“I’m going for a shower,” I fluttered my lashes at him playfully. “If you’d care to join me…”
I left the end of the sentence hanging in the air around us, and then turned to make my way to the bathroom. I heard him crashing around in the kitchen, no doubt hurrying to get washed up and get done, and grinned to myself as I slowly stripped out of my clothes as I waited for the water to heat up. The shower was small, sure, nothing like the luxurious walk-in he had in his apartment, but we had already tested it out before and found it more than sturdy enough for the job.
I slipped underneath the water and moments later he was in there too, pulling the curtain back and sliding himself in next to me. He still smelled lightly of pancakes and syrup and vanilla, even more delicious than normal, and I turned to him at once and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him just like I had back in the kitchen. Just this time with a hell of a lot more intent. His hands were travelling all over me at once, grabbing and grasping roughly at my skin – you’d think that it had been months since we had last had sex, instead of a matter of hours, but I loved how much he wanted me. It was intoxicating, a reminder of just how much we’d come through to get where we were, just how hard we’d worked to earn this. His tongue flickered into my mouth and he slipped a hand up my back to wind my hair around his fist slowly, tugging my head back so he could lean down and kiss my neck and my shoulders and my collarbone. I ran my nails through his hair, grinning to myself and closing my eyes as I gave myself over to the sheer hedonism of this moment. Who said pregnancy had to be chaste and pure, huh?
“Turn around,” he ordered, and I thought we were skipping straight to the main event, which I certainly wouldn’t have had anything against. I did as I was told, planting my hands on the wall of the shower for support and wiggling my ass back and forth in an attempt to coax him in nice and close. He didn’t need telling twice – but instead of entering me, he was suddenly on his knees behind me, pushing my legs apart, the water running down my back and over his head as though it was trying to guide me into realizing what he was about to do. And suddenly, I felt his mouth on my pussy and I knew that I was useless for anything else in the world.
“Fuck!” I cried out, the sound of the word echoing about us in that tiny little shower; the angle was new and hot as all hell, and I could hardly keep my legs from trembling out from underneath me as I propped myself up on the wall of the shower and tried not to let my vision cloud over. I felt a little dizzy, but in the best possible way, as he swept his tongue from side to side over me, using the moisture of the shower to ease his movements and go harder and faster than normal. One hand gripped my left calf, and the other travelled up, up, up, spreading my ass-cheeks apart and drawing slow circles around my hole. I bit my lip. We’d played a little with this kind of thing before but we’d never gone full-out. But the overwhelming mesh of sensations reminded me that I needed to suggest that we actually try anal at some point already, because every time we got close to it I found myself going a little crazy with desire.
His tongue flattened against my clit and his finger probed my hole lightly, pressing against it’s tautness as though testing out how I responded; he always seemed so curious when we were in bed together, like he was doing his best to figure out what turned me out, what got me off. And, well, I was more than happy to let him use me as his experiment. I swallowed heavily, the water still coursing over me, the warmth of it matching with the warmth of his tongue in a way that was almost too much to bear. He pushed his finger a little further, finally entering me, and there was this little shock of pleasure and pain and everything in between that made my toes curl against the white tile of the shower floor. How did he always seem to know exactly what I wanted, way before I had any notion of what that was? It was like he could crawl into my head and figure out what these dark desires that I refused to look at too closely meant, and then find a way to coax them into the light in a way that was just beyond exquisite.
He soon set a pace for the encounter, his tongue working in slow, steady motions over my clit as his finger fucked me shallowly, just enough to let me know that he was there and inside of me and that – holy hell. It felt so good that for a moment it seemed like all the language in my brain, everything that I would normally turn to to make sense of something like this, dropped away at once. I was grinding back against him, jaw slack, breath coming fast, nothing mattering to me but coming.
“Oh, fuck,” I gasped all at once, as the orgasm shuddered over me and seemed to half knock me off my feet. I shuddered almost painfully as the pleasure rocked through my body, sending every nerve ending to attention. The waves crested and broke, my pussy clenching and my clit pulsing beneath his soft tongue. He slowly pulled back and stood up again, seemingly satisfied, and then reached forward to pull me against him. The way his body felt against mine – strong where mine was limp, warm where I was cold – it was like we’d been made to fit together like this, as though this moment had been what everything had been leading to.
“Please,” I breathed, knowing that he would know without having to ask what I needed from him. And he was more than happy to give it to me; lifting my leg and balancing it on one of the stands that protruded from the wall of the shower, he ran his hands over my slick my body and groaned softly, as though he could hardly wait for what was about to happen. I reached back to touch him, to feel whatever I could beneath my fingers – his hair, his lips, his shoulders. And then, I felt his cock pressing up against the entrance to my pussy and I braced myself against the wall in front of me once more, knowing that this was going to be good.
He thrust into me in one sharp motion, the water and my recent orgasm rendering me wet enough for him to move easily inside of me. I cried out, the sound drowned and dulled by the water around us, but I knew that he had heard me. He held himself there for a long moment, as he usually did – as though being like this with me was the equivalent of coming home after a long day of work and finally taking off those stuffy work clothes. And then, we began to fuck.
Having sex with him had always been awesome, but since we had officially gotten together it had been a transcendent experience, something endless and impossible and perfect in ways I couldn’t even find the words to explain. He just – everything about him felt right, felt good, the pace he took perfect. He slipped an arm around my waist and flattened his hand over my stomach and moved into me hard, his breath growing rough and ragged behind me. I could feel it on my neck, even through the warmth of the water, and I twisted my head as best I could to lean in and kiss him. Our mouths met briefly, softly, but it was enough. I could feel myself getting close again, my body keening and hungry for his, and I knew he wouldn’t be far behind me. Making me come was his favourite foreplay, and nothing got him off more than knowing that I was doing the same.
I rocked my hips back to meet him, and the hand on my stomach travelled down between my legs and went to work on my clit once more. I was still a little raw from my last orgasm but that just made his soft touch all the more intense. He matched the pace of his fingers with the movement of his cock inside me and before I knew it I was cresting again, so close, so close I could feel it, taste it.
My pussy clenched hard around his cock as I came, pulsing and tightening around him in a way I knew he loved. He let himself just stay inside me, holding himself deep, allowing me to rock back against him in the way that would best coax out the last drops of pleasure from this moment. My body was shivering despite the hot water, my skin prickling and covering in goosepimples as the orgasm shook me. He thrust a couple more times, just shallow movements, but soon enough I felt him reach his own climax inside me with a grunt and a growl that told me he was finally there himself. I felt him come, delighting in the condoms we’d long ago agreed to stop using, and he slowly pulled out of me as though he didn’t want the moment to be over. I turned slowly, smiling at him, and he leaned down to kiss me once more, the water washing over us as he pulled me into his arms.
“That was so good,” I breathed, still not quite able to catch my breath.
“Damn straight it was,” he grinned, that cocky smile on his face telling me that he would have expected nothing less. “Now, was this just about fucking or do you actually…?”
“I actually need to get clean,” I admitted and he leaned down to grab the shampoo and shower gel.
“Turn around,” he ordered, and I did as I was told and closed my eyes as I felt his hands begin to work their way carefully through my hair. This was bliss. I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect than this in the whole world – my man, me, and nothing to do for the whole of this Saturday that was laid out in front of us like a gift. I couldn’t wait to see what we came up with.