Chapter Thirty-One

DANIEL LEFT, and Ambrose came. That was a good thing, because I came too.

After the confessions to our mothers and then my friends, I was feeling pretty ragged, but Ambrose knew exactly how to make me feel better. He started by pushing me up against the door and kissing me senseless and ended with fucking me senseless into the bed. It turned out that leaving the brace on his leg and pushing me flat against the sheets, Ambrose could get enough leverage to make it much better for both of us.

I groaned loudly as Ambrose pulled out of me. He groaned even louder as he rolled to the side and flopped on his back. When I turned, I saw him clutch his thigh.

“You hurt that knee, didn’t you?”

“Yes. Now shut up.”

I sighed noisily. “Why didn’t you stop if it was hurting?”

“It wasn’t hurting at the time. Or perhaps it was, but there were other things more important than a little bit of pain.”

I rolled my eyes and heaved myself up. “I’ll get your painkillers.”

“Thank you.”

I fetched them from his bag and grabbed a glass of water for him to swallow them down with. To my surprise, Ambrose unsubtly checked me out as I walked naked into the room with his medicines. To be fair, I was checking him out too. I was still getting used to the new tattoo of the dreamtime snake on his shoulder. But he was gorgeous. I knew it wouldn’t matter to me if he didn’t stay the fit, muscled prime specimen of manhood he currently was. I loved his body, but I loved the man inside more.

And most importantly there was a connection between the two of us that transcended the physical and mental.

So if I could enjoy him no matter what his body looked like, did that mean Ambrose enjoyed my shorter, paler, nearly-to-flab body?

“Were you just checking me out?” I asked, emboldened by the fact that we were moving in together… which I would have to break to my manager the next day.

“’Course I was.” He said it like duh, Shane.

I looked down at my naked body. Nope. I hadn’t grown muscles since I last looked.

Ambrose sighed noisily and held out his hand for me to come closer. I passed over the bag of pills, which he fished in until he found the box he wanted. Then I passed the glass of water, and he sat up carefully, swallowed down the pills, and placed the glass on the bedside table. To my surprise he reached out and touched my leg in a caressing manner. I smiled and sat on the bed next to him, happy to be in his presence.

“Don’t you get it?” he asked curiously.

I shook my head. “Get what?”

“You.” He stared at me intently. “I want you. You’re the one I want and need. And yes, love. I’m sorry if you needed me to say it and I hadn’t. I love you. I love Shane. I don’t love everyone, and looks actually mean very little to me. The person inside you is the person I love. Not your body.” Hadn’t I only that minute been thinking the same about him? “Which, by the way,” he went on, “is mighty fine, and please stop putting yourself down.”

To illustrate his point, he ran his hand up the inside of my thigh and brushed his fingers against my cock. My stomach muscles clenched, and despite the recent orgasm, I could feel my arousal rising.

I looked down at his cock and felt my arousal spike. His stomach was within reach, so I touched. He loved me, and I had permission. Those stomach muscles were hard and gave me funny feelings when I thought about all the work he’d put into them. Ambrose’s drive was part of what I admired the most in him.

I ran my hand up his side and gave him a gentle push so he got the message to lie back down on the bed. Then I lifted his arm and checked out our tattoo again.

It was our tattoo. It was me and him.

“I love you,” I said as I traced the picture. It still blew me away that he’d felt so deeply about me that he’d got it permanently etched into his skin. “Should I get the same tattoo? What do you think? Where would I put it on me?”

Ambrose didn’t answer, so I looked up with concern to see him biting his lip.

“What?”

We stared at each other. His face was as familiar to me as my own. I loved him so much.

“You love me?” he asked.

Hadn’t I ever said that? Wasn’t it clear? Maybe just like Daniel could see that Ambrose loved me, but I couldn’t, maybe Ambrose couldn’t see that I loved him.

“Ambrose Jakoby? I love you. I think I fell in love with you when you were fourteen and told Hunter Mackenzie to leave me alone. It was certainly the first time I became aware of you as more than just a friend. I loved you when you went to Melbourne. I’ve loved you every time you’ve come home. I haven’t stopped loving you one little bit. I think I’m doomed to love you forever.”

He blinked a couple of times in rapid succession. “You love Ambrose, right? Not Bro-Jak?”

I leaned down and kissed him gently. It wasn’t a short kiss. “I loved you before you were Bro-Jak, so what does that tell you? I love you off the field. And until recently, I’ve never told anyone I even knew you. Do you think, if I had an infatuation for Bro-Jak, that I would’ve done that?”

He looked satisfied with my answer, and he moved his hand to caress my nipple. I touched the tattoo again.

“So? Where do you think I should get my tattoo? When I get to Melbourne, we’ll go to the same tattoo artist, and I’ll get inked, just for you. But where? Where would it hurt the least? Because I’m not really into pain.”

His hand moved to the side of my rib cage. “Here. The same place. I got the tattoo of us there because that’s where I always want you. By my side, right next to my heart. It had to be next to my heart.”

I was not going to cry. I was not. I would not. I swallowed and tried to keep it in. When it was clear that I couldn’t, I pitched forward and buried my nose in the curve of his neck. I reasoned he wouldn’t know if it was snot or tears if I hid it. Okay, I also loved the smell of his skin and the sensation of him against me.

“I love you, Ambrose.” I said the words against his neck and added a kiss so the saliva would blend with the tears.

He brought his arms around me, and we rolled on the bed until we were side by side and holding fast. “I’m sorry it took so long to tell you I love you too, Shane. You were always there. I just didn’t know what to do with it. And then I didn’t know what to do when suddenly you were no longer at my side. I’ve been so lost this year.”

“Your mum mentioned your playing has been off. That’s not why, is it?”

He didn’t answer, so I pulled back and casually wiped his neck, just in case it was snot. He looked guilty.

“Ambrose? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

He looked down, not meeting my gaze but not letting me go either.

“I haven’t been playing at my top form this year. Oh, it was fine to get by, but I knew I could do more. The coaches knew as well, and they’ve been on my back. But I couldn’t be bothered. I mean, stuff with you has been going around and around in my head. And then my knee wasn’t quite right, and I knew it, but I didn’t say anything. They strapped my knee the last game, and the strapping wasn’t quite right….”

I gasped. “And you didn’t say anything? You just left it?”

He shrugged. “I couldn’t be bothered. I think I wanted to get hurt. I think… I think I deserved to get hurt, the way I hurt you.”

“No.” I was firm in my rebuke. “For a start, there’s no way you have to do penance by physically injuring yourself. And secondly, don’t put that on me. Don’t say it was my fault you got injured. Because then I’ll start thinking that if I hadn’t upset you, then you wouldn’t be hurt, and then my guilt will crush me.”

He frowned. “No. None of it’s your fault.”

“No,” I agreed. “You were distracted and not playing to your full potential, but that’s not anyone’s fault. Let’s agree on that. It’s in the past—water under the bridge. You’re going to get better, and you’re going to get your head back in the game. And I’m going to be there to help you. And from now on, we’ll do it all together. Right?”

He kissed me. “Right.”

“Good.”

He let his hand drift from my shoulder, down my side, to my hip. Then he gave me a suggestive look. “And I think those painkillers are kicking in.”

“Oh, that’s good.”

“Yes. Good. Because I think we have years to make up for.”

I pretended to think about it. “But I was going to read my book. I’ve just got up to the chapter where the hero is about to—”

He cut me off by kissing me. “You can tell me over breakfast. You have more important things to do now.”

“I do?” I pretended surprise.

“Yep.”

He took my hand and brought it down to his cock, which had renewed in strength. “My coach says I need to train hard. He wants me to get better—mind and body. And I think this is a good place to start.”

I grinned and slid my fingers around his length. “Anything for Hawthorn’s star player. You know how much of a Hawks fan I am.”

“I thought you only went for Hawthorn because I played on that team?”

I could tease when I wanted to. “I was merely stroking your ego when I said that.”

“I like your stroking.” He looked down at where I held him tightly.

“Funny that.”