Chapter 23 - Madeline
I wake up with Aiden’s arms around me. My ankle is a bit sore, but I move it up and down and am relieved to find that I’ve got more range of motion than I did before.
Aiden is snoring lightly in my ear. I turn my head to look at him and smile. Last night was as amazing as it was unexpected. He rescued me from the forest and took me home, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I never would have thought that getting stuck under a tree would be the best thing to ever happen to me.
My thoughts drift to yesterday, to the moments before I slipped and fell to wedge myself under the tree. I was stomping along the hillside, questioning everything about my job.
I’ve always thought I was doing good work. I am one of the good guys, or at least that’s what I always tell myself. I’ve always thought that men like my father, who just extract resources from the land without a thought about the environment were the bad guys.
This time, it’s different. This time, when the approved application to the Department of Environmental Conservation came through my email, all I felt was dread. All I still feel is dread. I’m starting to wonder if I’m on the wrong side of this battle.
Even though my job is to make sure that my company complies with all the regulations, it’s still not enough. We’re still clear-cutting large swaths of land to build a hotel that most people in the area don’t want. I’m one of the people that’s helping to do that. As much as I tell myself that I’m doing a good thing, that I’m protecting the environment from inevitable development – something inside me is starting to change.
I’m not doing a good thing. In fact, I’m enabling my company to do this work. I’m not protecting the environment from them, I’m helping them to destroy these forests. Sure, if I wasn’t doing it, I’d be replaced in an instant with someone else who would. But my father’s words have been ringing through my head for two weeks now.
Stay true to yourself.
He told me he was proud of me, for going off and doing this environmental engineering degree. For pursuing my ‘passion’, whatever that is. Is this my passion? Making half a small town hate me all the while making a big hotel chain a bunch of money?
This isn’t what I thought it would be. Environmental engineering, construction, conservation - none of it is what I thought it would be. I’ve come to hate the word ‘sustainability’, because it’s just one of those words that men in suits throw around that doesn’t actually mean anything.
Aiden snorts beside me and rolls over, dragging his arm with him. I watch his chest rise and fall and feel my own heart squeeze.
I feel more at home here with him than I do in New York, going to my corporate job and telling myself that I’m doing something good.
Walking through the woods feels good. Learning about the plants and animals that live here feels good. Building a community garden and getting to know the people of Lang Creek feels good. Going to work and seeing the mobilization of excavators, dump trucks, chipper trucks and huge loads of materials does not feel good.
The day after tomorrow is Monday, and I have to go back to work. The site offices are ready and most of the preliminary team is here, so the official start of construction is in less than 48 hours. That thought used to fill me with excitement. It’s my first big job! It’s the first job that I’ve been leading the environmental team. Now, the thought of starting construction only fills me with dread. Aiden snorts beside me again, as if he can feel the turmoil in my heart.
I can’t take it anymore. I’m driving myself crazy, lying here thinking about these things. I slide out of bed and shiver as the cold morning air in the cabin hits my body. I grab the closest piece of clothing – one of Aiden’s shirts, and I slip into it. It goes all the way down to my knees and I wrap it around me. I take a moment to inhale the smell of his shirt, smiling as I look back at his sleeping body. He’s brought in my crutches, and I grab one of them to lean against as I hop out of the room.
I hobble to the living room and see the dying embers of last night’s fire in the wood burning stove. I open the glass door and poke at the embers, sticking another log on top of them with some old newspaper. I watch as the paper catches fire and the new log starts to burn. I stand and watch the log burn, feeling the warmth of the fire seep through to my bones.
I turn towards the small kitchen and see a coffee maker. It looks well-used, and it only takes me a few moments to find the coffee and put a pot on. Soon, the smell of fresh coffee is filling the small cabin. I lean against the counter and look around the room.
This is where Aiden has lived for who-knows-how-many years. Two small rooms with an outdoor shower. One sofa, one wood-burning stove, and a small kitchen.
This is the exact opposite to my luxury apartment in New York. The coffee machine gurgles behind me for a couple more minutes until I take out a mug and pour myself a cup. I bring the cup up to my nose and inhale the fresh scent of coffee, closing my eyes to enjoy this simple pleasure.
“You’re up early,” Aiden’s gravelly voice makes me jump. I open my eyes and see him emerging from the bedroom. His eyes scan the room, taking in the new fire and the fresh pot of coffee. “I’m used to waking up alone, but I was hoping to wake up next to you.”
A smile drifts onto my face as he takes a step closer to me. He leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips. When he stands up, his eyes are soft and he runs his finger along my cheek.
“I made coffee,” I say, nodding to the pot. Aiden smiles and nods.
“Not used to having a woman around,” he says with a grin.
“Don’t get any ideas,” I respond, elbowing him in the ribs. “I’m a career woman, remember?”
“A career woman who’s wearing my shirt and looks incredibly sexy standing in my kitchen,” he growls. He leans over to kiss me again and all the worries from this morning evaporate. With Aiden next to me, all I feel is peace and contentment, and that familiar spark between my legs.