Chapter 41 - Madeline
My heart is thumping when the plane lands. I have a rental car booked and I know I have a three-hour drive before I get to Lang Creek – but I’m still a nervous wreck. I can only imagine what I’ll be like when I get closer.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. My mother was outraged that I was leaving, but Bianca understood. Last night I decided to leave, and I booked the first flight out this morning. I just have a small bag with me, hardly enough for a week. I don’t know how long I’ll be here, or what I’ll do while I am here. I shake my head and focus on what’s ahead of me.
I need to apologize to Aiden, face to face. I need to tell him that he showed me a new side of myself and that he makes me a better person. I need to tell him that I love him.
My heart bounces against my ribcage as I think of saying those words out loud. My mouth is dry and my palms are sweating as I get into the rental car. If all those looks he gave me were real, and all the time we spent together was true, then he might say it back to me. He might say those three magical words and then my heart will soar.
Or, he might turn me away. I can’t even bear to think about the sting of rejection right now. I need to cling onto the small sliver of hope that I’m enough and that my apology is enough. I need to listen to the voice that tells me that he wasn’t lying to me about those things, that what I felt was real. I drive down the road, speeding towards Lang Creek. My head is filled with worries and hopes and thoughts and feelings. All I can do is keep driving.
By the time I get close to town, the sun is starting to set. I hesitate, wondering if I should leave it to tomorrow. I could drive up the winding road to his cabin in the morning, with the fresh light of day around us.
I shake my head at the thought of staying at the McCoy Hotel again. I can’t wait until tomorrow. I have to do it today. When I see the familiar little sign on the side of the road, I turn off and start my way up. I drive back and forth with the road, trying to ignore the lump in my throat and the thumping in my chest.
The drive up to Aiden’s cabin seems longer than before. It seems to take an eternity to go up the mountain, and with every bend in the road I get more and more nervous.
Suddenly this doesn’t seem like such a good idea. I’ve never put myself out there like this before. I don’t even know how he feels. We haven’t spoken to each other in over a week! Yesterday I basically accused him of burning the new hotel to the ground.
I make the last turn and see the trees open up towards Aiden’s cabin. My pulse is racing and my palms are so sweaty they’re almost sliding off the steering wheel. I don’t see any lights on in the cabin when I pull up outside. I get out of the car slowly, closing the door and taking a few hesitant steps towards his cabin.
My breath is shallow, and all the doubts start washing over me.
He isn’t even here. What am I doing here? I shouldn’t have come. What do I expect, that he’ll change his whole life to be with me? That he’ll let me move in? What would I do here?
I start breathing a bit faster and take one more step towards the cabin. My feet crunch on the gravel and my eyes start to water. I stare at the four walls where I found out what it means to be happy. My chest squeezes and it feels like I’m never going to feel that again.
With a deep breath, I walk up to the front door. I know he’s not in here. There aren’t any lights on and there’s no smoke coming out of the chimney. But just for myself I need to knock. I need to do everything I can to prove to myself that I tried.
I lift my hand up and rap on the door a couple of times. The sound is sharp and sounds almost too loud in the stillness of the forest. My chest squeezes again and I wait for a few tense seconds before letting my shoulders slump.
He’s not here.
A weird mixture of relief and disappointment washes over me. All this buildup – all the thoughts, and worries, and hopes that I thought over and over and over for the past few days have come to nothing. It’s so anticlimactic it hurts. I hoped I would have my own Hollywood moment. I hoped he’d wrap his arms around me and tell me he’d love me forever.
That’s not going to happen, because he’s not even here. Will I have the courage to come up here tomorrow? I could just turn around and drive back towards the airport.
I sigh. He’s not here. I resign myself to that fact and turn back towards my car. I keep my head down and stare at the gravel pathway, trying to hold back the tears in my eyes. I feel almost foolish for coming all the way up here. The gravel crunches underfoot and I’m lost in my own thoughts when the sound of his voice makes me jump.
“Maddy?”
He sounds almost hesitant. My head whips around and I see him standing there, at the edge of the clearing. He’s wearing his work clothes and has a bead of sweat rolling down his face. He looks like he’s been working hard, with his hair plastered to his forehead and his shoulders covered in dust. He wipes his hands on the front of his coveralls and takes a step towards me.
“What are you doing here?” he asks. I open my mouth and suddenly my words are gone. I don’t know how to answer his question. I don’t know how to put my feelings into words and I don’t know what to tell him. I can’t tell if he’s happy or sad or mad to see me.
I open and close my mouth like a goldfish as he closes the distance between us. His face is dark and unreadable and as he gets closer my heart starts to thump harder and harder. With every step, my voice seems to get further and further away.
God, he looks good.
He’s just a couple feet away from me, and all I want to do is run into his arms. He stops walking when he’s a step away from me. His eyes search mine and we stand there, inches apart, saying nothing. I open my mouth and my voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. I can only manage two words as I stare at the man I love, the man who makes me want to change my life.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
Something snaps between us and in an instant his arms are around me and he’s crushing his lips against mine. He pulls me into him as I wrap my arms around his neck. I inhale his scent, loving the musk that fills my nostrils. A shiver runs through me as his fingers sink into my flesh. HIs tongue plays with mine and he kisses me harder than ever before.
I can hardly breathe, all I can do is keep my lips on his. My fingers tangle into his hair and he growls as I pull it gently. He drops his hands to my ass and pulls me closer so that I feel his hard cock pressed against me.
Finally, we pull apart and stare at each other’s eyes. We’re both panting. His chest is heaving up and down with mine as his arms squeeze me closer. I run my fingers through his hair and he groans in satisfaction.
“You came back,” he growls.
My eyes are prickling and all I can do is nod. “Yeah,” I reply, still not able to talk above a whisper. Without another word, he dips his chin down and takes my lips in his. I close my eyes and melt into him. My heart is flying and my head is finally calm. I’m home.