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Lie to Me by Lisa Lace (95)

Cole

It’s been only months since I last saw her, but I drink in the sight of her like I’ll never see her again. I take in her fair hair, unbrushed, unstyled, and unstraightened, yet framing her face with soft perfection. She looks so much like the girl I met in Pisa. I take in her sky-blue eyes, wide in wonder, her long lashes fluttering as she blinks in confusion and shock. Her mouth is slightly open in surprise; her lips are soft and sweet.

She rests one hand on her throat like she’s catching her gasp. Her nails are bitten down to the flesh, the only sign that she’s been worrying. Apart from that, she looks great. Her body is slim and toned. She’s wearing a silky nightdress and a wraparound robe, ready for bed. I can smell her perfume.

Her expression shows pure amazement. “Cole.”

“Sophie.”

“You’re here.”

I reach out for her hand. She doesn’t pull away. I think she’s still in shock. Her whole body is frozen, although her eyes track my every move. She can’t take her gaze from my face.

“I know I’ve had more chances than I deserve already, and you have no reason to trust that anything I say is true but being away from you has put things into perspective for me. I realize what a fool I’ve been. I know I’ve said that before, but this time it’s different. I’ve never meant anything more in my life.”

She’s silent, drinking in every word. I can see tears suspended in her eyes. Her breathing is shallow and fast. She’s pale.

“While I was in Syria, I was shot. I came closer to death than I’ve ever been before, and while I was lying there, certain that I was going to die, I experienced a moment of complete clarity. Right then, as I was on death’s doorstep, I didn’t care about any of those things that I’ve always said were so important.

“I wasn’t thinking about the legacy my photos would leave, or what kind of impact I’d leave on the world. I didn’t regret the ten years I was shooting weddings instead of chasing violence and disaster.

“All I could think about was how much I’d sacrificed to be there with that camera in my hands, and I knew I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I put so much time and energy into building my career that it felt like I had to keep chasing it, or else I’d failed. I convinced myself that it was my purpose in life, and I’d be letting down not just myself, but the world if I didn’t pursue it.

“Now I know that’s complete bullshit. I always had a choice, and I chose wrong. All of the sacrifices to be a photographer were sacrifices I was willing to make until it came to letting go of you. That’s one sacrifice too many. You’re worth so much more to me than any career.”

I take a step closer to her and close my fingers around her other hand. I rub my thumbs over the back of her hands and hold her gaze. Sophie’s tears are spilling now, her expression wavering between anguish and a smile.

“I knew it before I even left, but I was too selfish and stubborn to admit I was wrong. I’m sorry, Sophie. You deserve better than the man I’ve been, but if you give me one more chance, I promise that I’ll spend every day trying to be that man.”

“Cole—”

“Listen, Sophie. I’ve made my choice—once and for all. I’ve already spoken to Dennis and David. I’m never going back to The New York Times. My time as a photojournalist is over. I choose you. Always.”

She stands there, speechless. My own words feel like they’re drying up, but I have more to say.

I lower myself to one knee. As I do, I pull out the ring box from my jeans pocket and open the case to present to Sophie. Inside is a diamond and blue sapphire platinum engagement ring that I bought with the paycheck from my last ever journalism shoot.

“Sophie Ellis, you’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. You are filled with the most amazing of human qualities that I never appreciated before. You are kind, selfless, patient, and far more loyal than I deserve.

“It’s taken marrying you, divorcing you, living ten years without you, losing you again, and having a near-death experience, to make me realize that I got it right the first time when I asked you to be my wife.

“The time I’ve spent with you has always been my happiest.

“I know that your time with me hasn’t always been the same. I’ve been selfish and inconsiderate. I’ve put myself and my career before you time and time again—but never again.

“I want to marry you, Sophie, and have the kind of marriage that you always dreamed about. Not an elopement, not a one-sided love affair, but something real and lasting. I don’t want to marry you just so that you can be my wife, but so that I can be your husband and do all the things a loving husband should. I want to protect and care for you. I want to help you achieve everything you’ve ever dreamed about. I want to go through life with you and be at your side when we’re old and gray with those four grown children and a dog.

“I’ve taken you for granted before, and I’ve been conceited when I’ve assumed you’ll be waiting for me, so I want you to know that I recognize how incredible you are, and how unbelievably lucky I was to have ever had you in my life. If you’ll take me, I’ll know that I am the lucky one. You are beautiful, inside and out.

“Sophie Ellis—will you marry me?”

She says nothing. She doesn’t even move.

Then, slowly, she pulls me up from the ground so we’re eye-to-eye. Her gaze searches mine, her eyes moving from side to side as she examines my face. “Are you serious?”

“One hundred percent.”

“You don’t want to be a photojournalist anymore?”

“I only want you.”

“And in five years, you won’t be itching to go abroad again?”

“That’s when you and I hop on a plane together and make our own adventures.”

“You’re not going to leave me when something better comes along?”

“Never. Will you be my wife?”

The moment is excruciating. My whole future hangs on Sophie’s reply, and nothing has ever meant more to me in my life.

Sophie looks down at the ring. “It’s beautiful.”

I take it out of its velvet lining and slip it onto her finger. “I never got you a ring the last time. I wanted to do this properly. A proper proposal, a proper marriage. What do you say?”

“I don’t want to marry you—”

My heart plummets to my stomach, but I swallow back my despair. I can’t blame Sophie for rejecting me. We’ve been here before, and I’ve abandoned her too many times.

“—unless we have a long engagement.”

My sunken heart soars once more, and I grab her hands in elation, my voice rising with excitement. “It’s a yes?”

She laughs. Her sadness has turned to joy, and the tears in her eyes dry as her laughter rings through the air. She nods. “It’s a yes.”

I wrap my arms around her and press my lips down over hers. She sinks into my kiss.

When we step back from each other, Sophie looks down at the ring gleaming on her finger and giggles. “Lena’s going to kill me.”

I grin. “I’ll do whatever it takes to convince your sister that I mean it this time.” I lock her eyes in a sincere gaze. “You know I really mean it. Sophie, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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