Gabe

Luna barks at me from the couch, and I roll my eyes.

“Okay, girl, okay. We’ll go for a walk soon.”

Luna groans, flopping down on the floor, the leash still hanging from her mouth.

I chuckle. That dog is one of a kind.

I’ve been back in the city for a few weeks now, the Fourth of July holiday coming up. Joe is having a big party with his wife and kids, a cookout complete with s’mores, campfire singing, and of course, fireworks. Joe wants me there, but I don’t have it in me to socialize.

My days are filled with work, Luna, and my brain constantly thinking about Alicia. I’ve tried to stop it, to ignore it, but it never goes away. From dawn to dusk, she’s in my head.

I want to make sure she’s okay, hear her voice, see her face…

Fuck, I screwed up. I begged her to trust me, believe me, only for me to turn my back and leave without warning. How stupid am I?

I decide to call her, the first time since I’ve been back home. I doubt she’ll answer.

Her voicemail clicks on, and I wait for the beep tone. “Hey, Alicia, hope you’re doing well. Please call me so we can talk. There’s…” I pause and breathe deeply. “There’s a lot to talk about. And…well, never mind. Call me.” I hang up and toss my phone down. Damn, I almost said I miss you.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I stretch my legs. Luna jumps up, bringing her leash to me. She sits in front of me, offering her paw, the leash still hanging from her mouth.

I laugh and shake my head. “I need to find a dog walker for you. Someone with lots of energy and who enjoys lots of walks.”

Luna barks and gives me her paw.

Grabbing the leash, I roll my eyes. “Let’s go, silly.”

* * *

“I’m worried about you, boss.” Joe eyes me as he sips his beer.

I dip my buffalo chicken in blue cheese before popping it in my mouth. I don’t reply, focusing on my delicious food. Damn, it’s good to be eating the city’s finest grub again.

“Boss, the food isn’t going anywhere.” Joe waves his beer in front of me.

I look up and grunt, going back to my chicken. At least it doesn’t ask questions.

“Listen, I know a lot of shit went down. But you accomplished so much. Your uncle and brothers are taken care of. The case in Buffalo is done. Those are major achievements, Gabe. Pat yourself on the back.”

He has a point, but it’s not what I want.

What I want is a gorgeous woman with a head full of messy curls, whose appetite for sex matches my own. But I’ve already caused her enough pain.

She proved it to me when she never called me back. A week has passed and no word.

I spent the holiday alone with Luna. We binge watched Netflix shows, eating our weight in popcorn and dog bones.

“That’s not what you want, is it?”

His question takes me by surprise. I’ve never told him my true feelings; he must read me well.

I shrug, unable to meet his gaze.

Do I want to admit it out loud?

Do I want to admit I’m completely and hopelessly in love with her?

Saying it out loud confirms it’s true. Puts it out there for others to know and judge.

“Boss?”

“I don’t know, Joe. Can we change the subject?”

He nods, but his face falls. He’s hurt.

“I’m sorry, it’s a sore spot, that’s all.” I hold my beer up to him. “Thank you.”

He taps my beer with his. “Anytime, boss. Anytime.”

* * *

Alicia

I’m moving again. It’s only been six weeks since I moved into my mother’s home.

But Ruby and Kayla wouldn’t give up. Neither would Aunt Mel or even Maddie.

Ruby misses me, wants me there with her, experiencing the city together like we always dreamed we would.

Kayla wants to live in the city, a part of her always wanting to go there. How can I say no to her when a small sliver of happiness finally shows on her face?

Aunt Mel tells me to go. It’s what Mom would’ve wanted. She’ll watch the house and it’ll be there for whenever I want to come home.

Maddie wants me to be happy. She knows I’ve dreamed of the city and urges me to go.

After nights of crying, some nights full of screams and punches, I came to a conclusion.

It’s time to move forward. Live my life.

I’ll carry my mom around with me. She took a piece of my heart when she left this earth and while that’ll never heal, I hope the days will get easier, the burden lighter to carry.

I pray I’ll walk in one day and she’ll be sitting on the couch, her face lighting up with her amazing smile. It hurts like a motherfucker knowing it’ll never come true.

She’s gone forever, but her memory is still with me, and I need to accept that, cherish it, and tell myself it’s all I need.

It’s all I need.

Kayla and I are headed to the city now, our car packed with just the essentials. I managed to sublet an apartment, one that’s already furnished and move-in ready.

Nervous butterflies swarm in my stomach. I can’t wait to see Ruby, show Kayla the city and discover more together. I’m ready to start building my business and growing my client base.

Gabe. Don’t forget Gabe.

No, I’m not going to look for him. Or think about the fact he lives in the city. No. No. No.

It’s over and the ship has sailed.

Why do I miss him? Why does his face linger in my mind and his voice fill my dreams?

I push those feelings down and focus on the road. Kayla’s dancing to whatever she’s listening on her headphones, and I smile. It’s amazing to see her happy now.

* * *

We arrive in the city, the hot, thick air filling the car and making me sweat. Kayla watches outside the window, drinking in all the new sights around her. I pull up to the apartment building and follow the signs to the parking lot.

This apartment is perfect for us. A decently-sized, two bedrooms, complete with anything we could ever need. And off-street parking—who can top that in the city? I was informed it’s better to not have a car, but I can’t be without my wheels. I don’t like feeling stuck nor relying on public transportation.

Parking the car, Kayla hops out, eager to go inside. “Damn, it’s hot. I should’ve worn the shorts.”

“I told you, girl. You didn’t want to listen to the old lady.”

Kayla grins. “Maybe next time I will.”

We grab a couple of suitcases from the trunk and walk to the front door. I met up with the owners last week, exchanging paperwork and keys. We’re on the first floor, complete with an outdoor patio off the living room.

“What number, again?” Kayla asks as we move down the hallway.

“It’s 104. Should be right around here.”

“Found it!”

I slide the key in the lock and swing the door open, the air smelling sweet and refreshing. A wave of comfort washes over me, and I know I’m going to love it.

Kayla goes in first, flicking lights as she goes. We drop our suitcases and begin to explore, taking in our new space.

There’s a big, eat-in kitchen complete with all new appliances. A spacious dining room table the color of mahogany fills half the room and a gorgeous matching china cabinet sits along the wall. The living room has a set of matching couch, loveseat, and a recliner complete with a coffee table and two end tables. A big flat screen TV hangs on the wall above a fireplace.

Kayla walks over to the glass sliding door. “What a great view!”

I come up behind her, excited for a nice city view, but all I see are trees. And more trees. “What, the trees?”

Kayla laughs. “Got ya to look.”

I pull her into a hug and chuckle. “I’m so happy you’re here with me.”

Kayla squeezes me back and whispers, “Me too, A. Me too.”

We finish exploring the apartment. Down the hall are the two bedrooms, the master having its own bath and walk-in closet. There’s also a full bathroom in the hall with laundry nested inside. A linen closet is inside the bathroom, a perfect spot for towels and other things.

Both bedrooms have matching dresser sets with flat screen TVs and queen-sized beds. The master bedroom also includes a sitting area with soft armchairs.

“You couldn’t have picked a better place.” Kayla flops down on her bed, stretching out. “Mmm…so comfy.” She spreads her legs and arms.

“Liking the size of the bed? A lot better than a twin, right?”

She nods, and I lie down next to her, pushing her over.

“Hey!” She giggles but makes room for me.

“Want to hit the town for some dinner? Ruby’s dying to take us out. In fact, she should be here soon.”

“Yes, what will we wear?” She jumps up and takes off, coming back with her suitcase. “Fashion show time!”

I laugh and get comfortable. We’ll be here for a long time knowing Kayla, as she tries on every dress in her wardrobe.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.