Gabe

The cold tile floor is dirty and unappealing.

I can’t tear my eyes away from it as I pace back and forth while our suspect gets questioned.

My boss, Blake, is pissed at me, my red-hot temper getting me in trouble again.

I clench my fists, trying to calm myself.

Open, close, open, close.

Joe and Anne took over the questioning.

I couldn’t stand the fucking smug look on the asshole’s face.

It’s the first real suspect we’ve brought in for questioning, and it’s looking like a dead end.

A dead fucking end. I blow out a breath and grit my teeth.

I park my ass on the seat outside the room and lean down on my knees, hanging my head between them. It feels as if a ton of bricks sit on my back.

This case.

The shit back home.

I’ve been stuck on both and it’s pissing me the fuck off.

I stare at the floor and try to clear my head.

Alicia.

Her glowing face pops into view. She keeps away the bad, distracts me from the dark.

I ache to see her. Feel her. Taste her.

The door opens, and I jump to my feet, caught off guard. Joe and Anne file out, our boss trailing behind them. “Meeting. Now,” Blake’s deep voice snaps.

Shit. Here we go.

We enter a conference room and sit around the table. Joe darts me a look, and I know shit is about to hit the fan.

“What in the hell was that, Manley?” Blake stands, clenching the back of a chair.

“Look, I’m sorry. I lost my temper, and I shouldn’t have. I’ve got a lot on my plate, and shit, I don’t know, I fucked up and I’m sorry.” Damn, that sounded weak, but why make up some bullshit? The truth is I do have a lot going on, and I lost it.

“That’s not an excuse, Manley. You know it. You know what this job entails, and you know you have to keep your shit at home separate.” Blake crosses his arms and glares at me. “I’m disappointed in you, Manley. Your head is usually always in the game. Get it back there. Immediately.”

“All right, boss. It won’t happen again.”

“It better not. Now, back to business. This goon isn’t going to give us what we need. But he knows shit. I’m sure of it. He’s locked up tight. Whoever is running this thing is good, real good. In the meantime, four more girls were taken, including one more from that shelter. We need to find out what’s going on now. I want you three cracking this case even if it takes you day and night.”

I groan inwardly as Blake continues.

“My boss is breathing down my neck, and we need to wrap this shit up sooner rather than later, especially since more girls have gone missing. He’s ready to ring my fucking neck.”

I exchange glances with Joe and Anne.

Crunch time, guys.

Damn. I’ve got my work cut out for me.

* * *

Hours later, I push the townhouse door open, Luna ready and waiting to greet me.

“Hey, girl.” I rub her ears, her tail hitting the floor with speed. I hook her leash up and take her for a quick walk to do her business, hoping she’s fast. Exhaustion pulls at me, and I don’t think I’ll be able to stand up much longer.

After hours of brainstorming, clue gathering, coffee, and pizza, we managed to make little headway on the case while draining all of our energy. Blake said we can have the morning off as long as we’re back there at noon, ready for a day of intense planning.

I’m grateful I can sleep in and can’t wait for a shower and bed.

Luna finishes, and we’re back inside. I feed her and get her some fresh water before heading upstairs.

Turning the shower on, I strip my clothes and my eyes droop, fatigue gnawing at me. I hope I don’t fall asleep standing up.

Ten minutes later, I’m washed and in bed, Luna curling up beside me. I scroll through my phone and notice several missed calls from my cousin.

Sitting up straighter, I hit the send button and wait for him to answer. His voicemail picks up, and I hang up without leaving a message. There’s no message from him, but he must’ve called at least ten times.

Something is wrong. I know it.

I try to call Andrew again and again with no luck. I call my aunt Maria, but hers goes straight to voicemail.

What the fuck is going on?

I lie back, tossing my phone next to me. A nagging feeling settles deep in my stomach. Staring at the ceiling, my mind races.

My aunt, uncle, and cousins are in danger. My gut’s screaming at me, and it’s usually spot-on. I’ve had a keen sense on this shit and when no one answers their phone, I can’t help but assume the worst.

My aunt Maria and uncle Dave have been living under the radar since my parents were killed. It’s a sad way to live. My cousin Ava is sheltered, always in fear. Andrew teeters on the edge of good and evil, and I hope he manages to fight the evil off once and for all.

Uncle Lenny is the ring leader in all of my family’s problems. And my brothers, Mason and Damon, love to be his minions.

I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t want to rehash my family. They run through my head on repeat enough.

My mind drifts to Alicia. I haven’t heard from her in a week, not since our hot breakfast sex. We both said we’d call each other and neither one has yet to reach out.

A part of me is dying to call her. Every possessive bone in my body screams at me daily. But the other part says not to. Why drag out the inevitable?

There’s still so much we don’t know about each other, but I can’t help feeling like she’s a long lost friend I’ve been looking for my whole life. Our dinner was one of the best nights I’ve had and all we did was eat and talk.

And while the sex is utterly delicious, I would’ve still had a good time. Her presence alone is enough for me. Plain and simple.

She’s a distraction. A good distraction.

A fucking edible distraction.

And while I know the last thing I need right now is distraction, goddamn, do I want it more than anything.

* * *

Alicia

“I’ve started therapy sessions,” Maddie announces over speaker phone.

“Really? That’s great. How is it?”

“Hard,” Maddie breathes, and my heart clenches.

Her life was forever changed when her mother died and her father pimped her out to his disgusting clients. She ran away from home, hiding in Buffalo where we met. I couldn’t not help her and be a friend. Maddie was so lost and sad, and also so young. But she met Jax. They took off to Italy and live happily.

“It’s like reliving it all over again.”

“I know, Mads. That’s how we heal. Need to face it head-on.”

“Jax says that, too. I’m so thankful for him. Without him, I’d be, I don’t know, honestly.”

“He’s a keeper. And how’s baby Jax?”

“He’s amazing. Such a good baby. I can’t wait for you to meet him.” Maddie coos at her son.

“Jax must be smitten to have a son named after him.”

“Oh, he loves it. He’s in heaven. We’ll probably call him JJ, for short, which is just as cute.”

I laugh. “It is. I went to school with a cute boy named JJ. Dimples and freckles, I had such a crush on him.”

Maddie chuckles. “What about you? Holding up okay?”

“All right, I guess. As good as I can be. The salon is annoying. The schedule is weird. Some days there are full schedules of clients for us and then, other days, absolutely nothing. It’s a weird vibe around there.”

“You’re so talented, A. I wish you didn’t have to give up your business. How’s your mom doing?”

“She has her good and bad days. My aunt and I pretty much take care of her round the clock. Her body is too weak to do much of anything. It’s breaking my heart.” Tears spring to my eyes, on the brim of spilling over.

“Oh, hon. I’m so sorry. I’m here for you however you need me. Want me to fly out there? Maybe Jax and I can take a trip soon. JJ will be five months soon and should handle the flight okay.”

“Maddie, no. I couldn’t ask that of you. You need to worry about your baby and your family. I’ll be okay.”

“You didn’t ask me. I want to. You helped me through a dark time, and I want to help you. Please let me repay you.”

Her words have my tears flowing freely now. I squeeze my eyes closed and listen to her sing softly to her baby. I’d love her to be here, but it’s too much.

“Think about it at least? I’ll talk to Jax, too. Are you still volunteering at the shelter?”

“I am. I’ve met some nice girls, especially one I’ve become close to. She can be a little sassy thing, but she’s special.” I tuck a few curls behind my ear. “I sort of met someone, too.”

“What? Really? When?” Maddie knows how I feel about dating and relationships. We met after the Jack catastrophe and by then, I was burned and bitter, my heart a hard shell. It’s softened a bit, but love just isn’t in the cards for me. I feel it in my bones.

“It’s kind of strange, but he approached me one day at the shelter. Then I saw him at the salon. It put me off at first, but he kept insisting on one dinner, so I gave in and ended up having the best sex of my life.”

Maddie laughs. “Oh my God, I need details, girl.”

I give her the lowdown, not leaving any details out. Maddie eats up my story and tells me I need to call him.

We end the call several minutes later, and I pull myself up off the couch. It’s almost lunch time and Mom’s been asleep since shortly after breakfast. Aunt Mel is coming over this afternoon to take over while I go to the shelter.

After preparing a lunch of soup and crackers, I carry a tray upstairs for my mom. She’s still sleeping, her hair sticking to her damp forehead. Her left wrist is wrapped and resting in a sling, the sprain needing several weeks to heal. I place the tray down on her nightstand and give her a gentle shake.

Her eyes open to small slits, and she closes them again.

“Mom,” I whisper and shake her again, this time her eyes opening fully.

She smiles when she sees me, but it quickly turns to a grimace.

I help her sit up against the pillows, and she points to the bathroom. She’s back in bed in less than five minutes, and I offer her tray to her.

“I’ll help you eat, if you’d like.” I pick up the spoon and offer her a warm bite of soup. We don’t say a word as I feed her, but our words are there, not spoken yet.

When she’s had her full, she breaks the silence. “My A plus girl, you doing okay?” Her smile is weak and her eyes are dull, their brightness having faded from the ugly illness.

I slide the tray to the end of the bed and cuddle up next to her as I take her hands in mine. “I’m hanging in there, Mom.”

Mom rests her head on mine while I lean on her shoulder. “Make sure you take care of yourself, too, not just me.”

I nod, and we sit in silence as the afternoon light fades, the dark clouds descending on us. A storm is coming and not just outside, but around us too.

The doctors haven’t officially said anything, but I know.

I know what I don’t want to face.

My mom is dying. I need to stop running from it.

But I can’t. It’s killing me, drowning me. Sucking all the life out of me.

How will I ever survive this and be able to come out happy on the other side?

It’s not possible.

How can it be?

* * *

Gabe runs through my head on repeat as I drive to the shelter. After my teary afternoon with my mom, Aunt Mel came by and both of them said they want Gabe details later.

I chuckle to myself as I think of the rounds of questioning they’re gonna put me through. There isn’t much to tell, but they think there is.

Gabe and I aren’t anything special.

Hell, we aren’t even anything.

It’s sex, a booty call, nothing more, nothing less.

I didn’t want to be the one to reach out to him first. So, I’ve waited.

It’s been a little over a week since our hot breakfast sex and nothing.

Crickets.

Big, fat crickets.

What were you expecting?

I don’t know what I was fucking expecting. My mind is so messed up it’s hard to think straight about anything.

I should chalk it up to good sex and leave it at that. Maybe it’ll happen again. Maybe not. I don’t have time to stress over it.

A minute later, I pull into the shelter and park near the front. I gather my supplies, excited to show Kayla what I picked up for her. She confided in me she’s always dreamed of having hot pink streaks in her hair with gold sparkles.

I got permission from Mia and gathered the supplies I’d need. I can’t wait to see her reaction.

It warms my heart to be able to help these kids. They need all the love and support they can get. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I shut the car door behind me and walk into the shelter.

Mia greets me at the desk, and we make small talk before I head through the double doors. I spot Kayla sitting in the common room, a hoodie pulled tight around her, her earbuds hanging from her ears. I smile at her and get a small wave back. It’s an accomplishment from last time.

When I approach her, she offers me a small smile and pulls her hood off her head.

“Hi,” she whispers.

“Hey, Kayla. What’s up, pretty girl?” I plop next to her, making her small frame bounce on the couch.

She shrugs but pulls her headphones off. Her eyes spot my bag and her face softens. “Bring anything good?”

I nod and wiggle my eyebrows. “Come on, let’s go to the meeting room and I’ll show you.”

She follows me and as soon as we enter the separate, quiet room, she nosedives for my bag.

I laugh and shake my head. “Patience, girl.”

It’s too late. Kayla grabs the pink hair dye and jumps up and down, her face glowing. “I can’t believe you got it!”

“I got the gold, too.” I beam as Kayla grabs the gold sparkle dye from my bag.

Without warning, Kayla hugs me, and I melt. This sweet, sweet girl.

“Shall we get beautiful?” I ask her.

She nods, and we get to business.

A couple hours later, Kayla has hot pink streaks in her hair with gold sparkles and several of the other women and girls ooh and ahh over her. She loves the attention, and pride bursts through me at being able to help her in what would be a simple way to me but is the world to her.

I make plans with a few other girls for hairstyles and then I spend the rest of the time bonding with Kayla. We laugh and eat dinner together and enjoy each other’s company.

If I ever have a daughter one day, I’d love to have the same relationship with her as I do Kayla. It’s one of the best feelings in the world to know how much of a difference you’re making in someone else’s life besides your own.

Maddie, my mom, Kayla. They all need me or will need me. And I’ll make sure I’m there.

* * *

The smell of coffee hovers in the air, filling my nose as soon as I open the door. Aunt Mel’s voice drifts down the stairs. My mom laughs a few moments later, and I smile. It’s a good sound to hear.

I make myself a quick cup of coffee and head upstairs. “Hey, ladies,” I call as I sit on the end of the bed, making myself comfortable.

They both smile at me as they sip their own drinks, their attention now focused on me. “How was the shelter?” Mom asks, and Aunt Mel nods.

“It was good. I’ve been hanging out with a young girl named Kayla. Today, I gave her hot pink and gold sparkle streaks in her hair. She was in heaven.”

“You’re so sweet, A. Always were,” Aunt Mel boasts as Mom nods in agreement.

“What have you two troublemakers been up to?”

“Sitting here, waiting for you to come home so we can get some scoop on that sexy man of yours,” Mom says as she nudges Aunt Mel.

I roll my eyes. “He’s not my man. He’s just a friend.”

“Friends don’t roll around in the sack, usually.” Aunt Mel sips her coffee and gives me the stink eye.

How does she know we had sex?

“Who says we slept together?”

They both stare at me like I’m dumb for even asking that question.

“We know you did, darling. You don’t get that after sex glow from a facial.” Mom laughs as she sips her tea.

“Okay, okay, fine. We slept together. A few times. But, that’s beside the point. He’s not the relationship type and neither am I.”

“A, that’s not true. You deserve a good man.” Aunt Mel puts down her coffee and sits close next to me. “Love will find you. It always does.”

I shake my head. “Love isn’t for me, Auntie. I’ll be all right. I’ve already accepted it.”

“No, Alicia. I won’t hear that. You deserve the world. You’ll find your soul mate.” Mom’s eyes grow wet, and I swallow over the lump in my throat.

“Maybe, but…I don’t know anymore.”

“Alicia, I want to talk to you about something.” My mom’s voice is stern, and I lock eyes with her. A sweat breaks out over my brow and my palms grow clammy.

“What is it?” I glance at Aunt Mel, but she only looks at my mother, urging her to continue.

“I want to hire a full-time nurse, so you can go to New York and live your life. I don’t want you held back here by me any longer.”

“No, Mom. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“I want you to, please, A. You deserve a good life. A happy one. Go out there and get it for yourself.”

Tears slip down my cheek. I’m tired of crying, tired of the sadness. My heart aches in my chest. “I want to take care of you, Mom. Like you’ve always taken care of me.”

Aunt Mel wraps her arms around me as my mother sits up higher, scooting closer to us. “No, A. I called Ruby already. You’re going to New York.”

“What?” I stand. “Why would you call her without speaking to me first? I told you, I’m not going to New York City right now. Maybe someday, but you’re more important to me than any city, business, or guy for that matter!”

Aunt Mel stands and rubs my shoulders, but I push her away. I don’t want her pity. I don’t want her to pull me in and convince me of something I don’t want.

“Think about it, okay? You could finish up some classes, freelance with your business, be close to Ruby, and start a good life for yourself.”

“Fine, I’ll think about it. But I doubt I’ll change my mind.” I grab my coffee mug and leave the room.

My mind swirls with thoughts as I fix myself another cup of coffee.

I’m not leaving my mother while she’s dying. What if something happens after I’m gone and I can’t get back here quick enough to say goodbye?

I’d have to live with that on my head forever, and I can’t do it.

I won’t.

I want that life. God, do I want it. But my mother is more important to me. My career and love life can wait. She means well, I know she does, but I can’t help but get defensive. She needs to let me put her first for once.

She needs me. And that’s all that matters.