Chapter Seventeen
A week later, Colin woke to a text message from Maggie. It was a picture of an enormous, decorated Christmas tree. Wish you were here, she’d written. Rockefeller Center, baby! NYC is the place to be at Christmastime!
He smiled as he texted back, So you got to NY. Good for you, hope you enjoy.
Then he added, My brother’s bar is only a few blocks from there, you know.
She answered immediately, thrilling him. Where? What’s the name of it?
Fuck if he knew. He texted: Hold on. Will ask Gavin.
Which brother is that? she wrote.
The doctor. And the only one who’s in regular contact with Sean.
Colin texted his brother, waited for a response, then texted back to Maggie a few minutes later: O’Reilly’s Tavern, 46th St. & 5th Ave.
I might go by there, Maggie wrote back. Is that like stalking?
Colin laughed. I don’t think so, but what do I know?
I’m just so curious, Maggie texted. A McKinnon, right here! It’s the next best thing!
He appreciated her thought, but had to warn her. If you do go, you might not want to mention we’re friends. Sean hates me.
Oh, she texted. Awkward. Well… I might go anyway. Want to see if there’s any family resemblance. Too curious. It’ll be like a spy mission. I’ll be undercover!
Colin had to smile. Knock yourself out, he wrote. How are you? Better?
Much better, she texted. Still a lot to think about, work out… but I’m getting there. I’m okay. And this city helps. It’s the best. I wish you were here with me. I bet you’d love it.
Maybe another time. Holidays = me being here. Kids etc.
Of course, she wrote. I totally get that.
He sighed. He’d love to be there with her. The thought of spending Christmas with her seemed idyllic. But his kids were here, his siblings and extended family were here… he belonged here. He always would. He texted: Be safe in that huge city, ok?
Will do, she wrote. I’m staying in a good hotel in Midtown, very safe. I’m always careful, you know that. Don’t worry.
Can’t help it. He paused over the phone, wanting to write a million things. In the end, all he sent was, Send pics any time. Nice to wake up to.
Okay, I will. Have a great day. She sent a smiley emoji.
He hated emojis, but sent a smiley back. It kept things light. It kept him from professing his unrequited love yet again.
*
Later that night, Maggie found O’Reilly’s Tavern. It was a typical Irish pub façade, with large glass windows and a huge wreath with red bows and gold sleigh bells on the wooden door. Upbeat classic rock hit her as she opened the door, along with a rush of warmth that welcomed her in from the chilly air outside.
It was just past seven, and a weeknight, so the bar was only half full. She looked around and found it welcoming, even cozy. A long, narrow room with Irish memorabilia on the walls and little white Christmas lights everywhere, the vibe was definitely festive. She sidled up to the polished mahogany bar and got the bartender’s attention. “Hi. I’m looking for the owner, Sean McKinnon. Any chance he’s here tonight?”
“He will be at eight,” the bartender said. “Want to wait?”
“Sure.” She took off her coat and sat on a stool. “Have any hard cider?”
The bar filled with more customers as the hour rolled on. She befriended John, the bartender, and found out Sean was the half-owner, Jimmy O’Reilly was his partner. She told John she wasn’t there on business, they just had mutual friends in Dublin so she wanted to see the place. She nursed her drink, fired off a few texts to friends, and relaxed. The bar was a good one, it gave her a good feeling.
At ten after eight, she noticed John raise his hand to a man who’d just walked in and wave him over. She watched John talk to the guy and gesture her way. A pair of deep blue eyes landed on her. Handsome, golden-brown hair, a shrewd, intense gaze… oh yeah, that was a McKinnon, all right.
She smiled at him. He made his way over to her.
“Hello,” he said. Tall and lean, he had a silver hoop that glinted in one ear, creases by his eyes, and a scruffy dark gold beard that set off a sensual mouth. He was gorgeous and sexy as hell, she had to admit it. Edgier than Colin, with the charisma of a rock star, if she had to label him. “Heard you were looking for me? I’m Sean McKinnon.”
She extended a hand, and he shook it. “Maggie Spencer. Pleasure to meet you. We have a mutual friend in Dublin, so I wanted to check out your bar. I like it a lot.”
“Well, thank you. Glad you came by.” He pulled off his red scarf and black wool coat, draping them over his arm. “So who’s our mutual friend?”
She couldn’t help but stare. The resemblance was strong and undeniable. It made her miss Colin with visceral longing. “God, you look alike.” Had she said that out loud?
“Who do I look like?” he asked.
Yup, she’d said it out loud.
Bracing herself, she gave him her most dazzling smile as she said, “I know your brother. Colin.”
Sean’s eyes went flat. “I see. Well… I haven’t seen him in years. I wouldn’t know that we look alike. I’ll take your word for it.”
“You’re both very handsome,” she said. “I know he’s not your favorite. You’re not going to spit in my drink now, are you?”
Sean laughed. “No, of course not. If you know Colin, you’ve got your own troubles. Don’t need any added ones from me.” He studied her. “Meet any of my other siblings while you were there?”
“Yes, actually. Your sister, Shannon.”
“Ah. She’s in between Colin and me. Two of them were always thick as thieves.”
“They still are,” Maggie affirmed.
“Good for them.” He leaned a hip against the bar. “You’re American, yes?”
“Yes.”
“What were you doing in Dublin, besides hanging out with my siblings?” A grin tugged at the side of his mouth. “If you don’t mind my asking.”
“I don’t mind at all. I was there on a job assignment. I’m a travel writer.”
“Ah. Sounds interesting.”
“It is. I was in Dublin for ten weeks.” Maggie tried not to stare at Sean, but it was hard. She couldn’t get over their likeness. “Colin and I hung out at the same pub. We got to talking. Became friends. When I mentioned I’d be coming to New York and staying in midtown, he told me about your bar.”
“Did he? That’s… surprising.” Sean motioned to John. “Let me buy you a drink. Anyone who survived spending time with that miserable bastard deserves one.”
She blinked. “Wow. He wasn’t kidding. You do hate him.”
Sean gave her an even look. “Hate’s a strong word. I haven’t seen him or talked to him in long enough that I don’t hate him anymore. He doesn’t figure in my life at all. Which is why I’m surprised he’d even mention me to you.”
“You’re fierce. Intense. Fire set to a low simmer.” She thanked John for the glass of hard cider he set before her. “From what I can see, you and Colin are a lot more alike than you know. You remind me of him.”
“Bite your tongue,” Sean said. He tapped his glass of whiskey to her glass. “To Dublin.”
“I’ll drink to that any time.” She sipped and found herself telling him, “I’m thinking of moving there.”
“To Dublin? Really?” Sean set his glass down. “Why? Your job?”
“No.” She smiled gently. “Your brother.”
He went still, eyes fastened to her face. “Christ. Seriously?”
She nodded. “I’m in love with him. And that’s where he’s rooted. So…”
“So I wish you a hell of a lot of luck, then.” Sean laughed. “Jesus, this is weird. Does he know you’re here? Did he send you?”
“Not at all. If anything, he warned me if I came that I shouldn’t mention him to you because you hated him.”
Sean smirked. “He knows that much.”
She turned a bit to better face him. “Sean, he’s a good man. One of the best I’ve ever known.”
He just stared at her.
“It’s not my business, of course,” she continued. “But for what it’s worth… I think there’s a piece of him that regrets the bad blood between you two. Maybe one day you’ll talk. Maybe you won’t. But I think you should know that.”
Sean narrowed his eyes on her. “What is this? What are you about?”
“Nothing sinister, I swear. I’m just here out of curiosity. Me wanting to meet the brother I heard about, since I’m actually in New York.”
He rubbed at his scruff. “Look, I don’t mean to be rude, if I have been. But I’m sorry to disappoint you. I don’t have any good memories of Colin. He was horrible to me growing up. We clashed all the time. You have no idea.” Perhaps realizing how harsh that sounded, he sipped his drink and said, “But hey. That’s in the past. And if someone as seemingly nice as you are sees something good in him, maybe he’s changed. Some people do.”
“Did you?” she asked.
“Did I what?”
“Change. At all. Since you were a kid.”
He narrowed his eyes again, but a grin tugged at his mouth. “Some.”
“Mm hmm.” She raised her glass. “To changing. People do it, you know.”
He snorted out a laugh and took another sip of his whiskey. “You’re a cheeky one. I hope you give Colin a run for his money.”
“I have from the start,” she admitted. “And I think it’s time to stop.”
*
Reardon’s was only half full for a Friday night. Colin was able to grab a booth near the back. Not his usual booth, but that was fine. That one just reminded him of Maggie, and he didn’t want that. He’d only been able to return here recently.
The holiday season had filled him with melancholy. Watching people be merry and bright when you were aching over the one who left didn’t really mix. The week at work had been long and busy, with deadlines to be met before the dead zone of the month long holiday break between semesters. Colin was tired, lonely, and sick of missing Maggie so much.
Maybe she’d been right and he needed to stop thinking of her all the time. Just get on with his life.
That thought lasted all of thirty seconds. Even if he did get on with his life, he’d still love her. That’s just how he was wired. Nothing to be done about that.
Deirdre brought him a pint and a burger. He demolished his food, then scrolled through his phone. The last presents he’d ordered for his kids were on the way. Trish was letting him have them on Christmas Eve, but they’d be with her on Christmas Day. He was taking them over to his parents’ house so they’d have more family than just him to celebrate with. On Christmas Day, he’d go to Shannon’s. Life in the divorce lane.
He’d wanted to send Maggie a gift, but there was nowhere to send it to. His girl with wings didn’t have an address. A sigh floated out of him. Christmas was only two weeks away. He wondered where she’d be spending it. Back in Ohio with her family? Staying alone in New York City? Maybe not being alone, but with friends, or… he didn’t even know. He’d been afraid to ask; no matter what her answer was, it would hurt, because she wouldn’t be with him. Really, he didn’t need to know.
They had separate lives now. He had to accept that.
He stared at the phone, pulling up his favorite photo of Maggie. The two of them in her bed, after a romp, the pillows haphazard and the sheets barely covering her breasts. His arm around her shoulders, her cheek against his, both of them looking sated and smiling and happy.
She’d insisted on taking the picture. He’d berated her for it, saying he was still sweating and his hair looked like a dead animal. She’d laughed, kissed him, and snapped the picture anyway. Secretly, it was his favorite, because it was the real them. A little messy, a little sexed up, a lot happy. Open and alive. He didn’t look scowly, and she didn’t look haunted. They’d done that for each other. They’d been good together.
Christ almighty, he longed for that again. For her.
Someone slid into the booth across from him and his eyes lifted.
His mouth dropped open. His heart stuttered in his chest.
“I was hoping I’d find you here,” Maggie said with a smile.
She was there. Jesus Christ, she’d come to him. His eyes locked on her beautiful face. Her hair was in its ponytail, he hadn’t seen that heavier wool coat before… the chocolate brown of it was the same exact shade as her eyes. She was there. He cleared his throat and stammered, “What… how…”
“I just got back to town,” she said. “Landed about an hour ago. My bags are stowed behind the bar with George for now.” Her eyes were so warm, locked on him. “It’s so good to see you, Colin. My God, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” he whispered. He blinked again in disbelief and cleared his suddenly dry throat. “What are you doing here? I thought you were spending all of December in New York?”
“I was. But there’s a big problem.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re here. And I want to be where you are. I need to be. So I had to come to you.” She smiled, but there was a hint of apprehension in her eyes as she added in a wry whisper, “I finally figured that out.”
Breath held, he watched as she slid out of her side of the booth and moved around to sit next to him. His heart, already beating wildly, started pounding. He shifted over to make room for her and her light, familiar scent flooded his senses. Unable to help himself, his hand lifted to cup her cheek. So soft. Every nerve in his body lit up with relief and bliss at the feel of her.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do,” she said quietly, her gaze still locked on his. “Where I want to go, what’s next for me… and I’m not totally sure. I have some ideas. But the one thing I kept coming back to is you, Colin. I want to be with you. And you’re rooted in Dublin, so I need to set up my home base here. Which is fine with me, because I love this city.” She edged closer and nuzzled his palm. “But a million times more, I love you.” A shaky breath escaped her, and she lifted her hand to cover his, press it closer to her skin. “Realizing that terrified me at first. But now that I’ve wrapped my head around that, and some other important things, what terrifies me most is not being with you.”
He was speechless. Absolutely gobsmacked. He caressed her face and stared.
“It’s funny…” Her fingers ran along his jawline, around the back of his neck and into his hair. “When we met, I thought I was saving you. But we ended up saving each other, haven’t we?”
“I don’t know,” he finally whispered. “Have we?”
“Yes. Absolutely. You said I brought you back to life. Well, guess what? You did the same for me. I know that now. I’ve been able to face things I hadn’t before. I was strong before, but I’m even stronger now.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Colin. I love you so much, and I want to be with you. Your life is here, so I’ll rebuild here. I want Dublin to be my home. I want to try, to take the chance. But most of all, I want you to be part of my home. I want us. I want us to be together more than anything.”
He could barely breathe, much less speak.
“So…” she said slowly, “the big question is, do you still want me too?”
He gripped her face with both hands and sealed his mouth to hers, kissing her deeply, passionately, with all the love in his heart. He poured every ounce of him into the kiss. He’d never been so relieved, so overjoyed, in his entire life. She’d come back to him. She was okay, and she loved him too. She wanted to stay with him, to make a home in Dublin, to try… it was more than he’d ever dared to hope for.
With a soft whimper, she kissed him back, pressing close, curling into his embrace. Her mouth met his with matching fervor. He never wanted to stop kissing her and never wanted to let go of her. But after a few minutes, he finally released her, trying to catch his breath. He leaned his forehead to hers, just staring at her beautiful face.
With tears in her eyes and a tremulous, radiant smile blooming, she whispered, “I’ll take that as a yes.”