Chapter Eight
Dinner had been lovely, Colin mused as they went back upstairs. Beef Wellington with roasted vegetables and potatoes, pleasant conversation, and several glasses of whiskey had him feeling warm and relaxed. And the candlelight. There was a little glass bowl in the center of the linen with a few of those floating tealight candles, and they lit Maggie’s pretty face in such a way that almost made him tongue-tied with wanting. Luckily, as usual, she drew him out of himself with easy questions about his kids, his job, his childhood, or regaled him with tales of her travels.
She was alluring as the candlelight flickered over her features. Those high cheekbones and creamy skin, her wide brown eyes and long lashes… and that mouth. He longed to taste that mouth. He longed to rip the elastic from her ponytail and thread his fingers through her hair as he took her mouth with deep, searching kisses.
He blinked at his own thoughts as they entered the room together, trying to shake them off. Bad enough they’d now share a hotel room. Nothing like close proximity and a huge enticing bed to ramp up his already rising want into overdrive.
Staff had brought in a small cot and made it sleep-ready while they were down at dinner. It was only a few inches from the end of the bed. Eyeing the cot, Colin said, “We have to discuss the sleeping arrangements.”
“I already told you,” she said assertively. “I’ll take the cot. It’s not a big deal.”
“No.” He imagined her sleeping only a foot away from him and called on every ounce of stoic reserve he could muster. He tried to fill his head with rugby, financial statements on his desk at work, boring meetings… anything that tore his mind away from the pull of knowing she’d be right there. Of wanting to kiss her and dying to know what she’d feel like in his arms. Bloody hell, this was too much. He was going mad.
“Tell you what,” she said. “We can have that debate in a few minutes. Just need to use the restroom.” With a charming smile, she grabbed her suitcase and disappeared.
Colin sighed and dropped into the armchair in the corner of the room, beside one of the three windows. The suite was magnificent, truly. But he would have appreciated it more if he wasn’t suddenly filling with anxiety. He hadn’t shared a bedroom with a woman in over six years. Much less with a woman he was desperately attracted to. How would he be able to keep his lust off his face when he looked at her?
A wave of self-loathing rushed through him. He was a grown man, for Christ’s sake; he had to stay cool. He couldn’t let on, not even a bit, about how he was fighting his desire for her.
She trusted him. He was honored that she did, and didn’t want her to have a moment’s concern that he’d try anything less than honorable in this room tonight.
Damned candlelight and whiskey…
A cold shower. That would help. He’d take one as soon as she got out of the bathroom, then make sure she understood she would have the bed and that was that.
Ten minutes later, she emerged… and his jaw dropped. He went utterly stupid. Maggie wore a pale blue short-sleeved top and matching boy shorts that molded to her body, showing off her curves and revealing more skin than he’d seen before. Her toned legs… God help him. And her hair was down. He’d never seen it loose before and it was glorious. The sight of the swaying curtain of straight gold that fell past the middle of her back was an unexpected surprise that mesmerized him. With her hair down, she was transformed somehow, luminous and even more beautiful than usual. She was gorgeous, sexy, wearing skimpy clothes… and he was paralyzed.
Before he knew what she was about, she’d shoved her suitcase against the wall and slipped between the blankets on the cot. With a smile, she announced, “I’m sleeping here.”
It finally registered: she was in her pajamas. Those clingy little things were pajamas, and she’d tricked him. Totally blindsided him. He blinked, sputtering, “What? No! No. I told you—I won’t have you—”
“And I told you that I’d take the cot. You’re much bigger than me, you should have the big bed. End of story.” She smiled sweetly and lay down.
He didn’t know whether to laugh or throw something. “You’re a bloody sneak, woman.”
“You said yourself not to tangle with me.” She batted those long lashes at him and he had to laugh.
“Get out of that cot and get in the bed, dammit,” he commanded in a growl.
“I don’t take orders, boy-o.” Her gaze turned outright wicked as she said, “I’m staying here. You want me out of the cot, you’ll have to pick me up and move me.”
He gaped at her. “You can’t be serious.”
“Try me.” She smiled wider and burrowed in further, snuggling into her pillow.
He swore vehemently under his breath and scrubbed his hands over his face. Then he rose from the chair and grumbled, “I’m going to take a shower before bed.” He stormed across the room to his suitcase to get his things, ignoring the satisfied giggle he heard from her. Cold shower, straight away.
*
Colin woke with a start, his heart racing in the darkness. Someone had cried out. Disoriented, it took him a few seconds to remember where he was: in the room at the inn with Maggie.
Another frightened cry, followed by a guttural moan of terror.
Colin threw the covers back and bolted from the bed. The awful sounds were coming from Maggie. She thrashed around, groaning, still deeply asleep. Rushing to rouse her, he dropped to his knees beside the cot.
“Wake up, Maggie. It’s just a nightmare.” He gripped her arms and gave her a gentle shake. “Wake up, love, it’s all right. C’mon, wake up.”
With a thick, panicky cry, Maggie’s eyes snapped open and she sat up fast, gasping for air. Colin held her hands as her unfocused, wild gaze fell on him.
“Breathe, Maggie. It was a nightmare.” He made his voice as soothing and steady as he could. She was trembling under his grasp. “You’re okay. Just breathe.”
She sucked in loud lungfuls of air as tears sprang to her eyes and rolled down her face. But she kept her eyes locked on his as she panted.
“That’s a girl. Breathe.” He reached up with one hand to sweep her hair back from her face, alarmed to find she was slick with sweat. “Jesus, you’re a wreck. Must have been pretty bad.”
“The accident,” she managed between breaths.
He winced. He’d brought up the accident earlier that day, and now she was having nightmares about it. He’d put it back in her mind; it was his fault. “Just keep breathing. I’m right here. You’re okay. Slow it down, love.”
It took her a minute to calm down. He rubbed her upper arms, held her hands as she worked to compose herself. Then her eyes fell away and her chin dropped to her chest. “Jesus Christ,” she rasped. “I hadn’t had that dream in months.”
“Shhhh.” He sat gingerly on the edge of the cot, testing that it could hold his added weight. When he saw it could, he pulled her closer, nudged her head onto his shoulder, and rubbed her back. Her whole body was shaking. Christ, the poor girl. “It’s over now. Just breathe.”
She softened against him. A shuddery sigh whooshed out of her.
“That’s it,” he murmured. “Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth.” She did as he instructed. His hands skated gently over her hair and her back, soft sweeps meant to soothe. “There you go. Keep doing that. That’s a girl…”
After a few minutes, her trembling eased and her breathing slowed to normal. But when he moved to pull back, her fingers dug into his sides, a silent plea for him to keep holding her. He kept holding her.
Time passed as they sat together silently in the darkness, wrapped in a careful embrace. Finally she yawned against his shoulder. “I’m so tired.”
“Think you can go back to sleep?” he asked, his lips close to her ear.
“I want to… but I’m afraid to.”
His heart twisted in his chest. She’d never admitted to being afraid of anything. He thought of her as fearless. The small admission struck at his heart like a hammer’s blow. “Then I’ll stay here with you,” he offered in a whisper. “If that would help.”
“Yes, please,” she whispered back, snuggling closer. “This is helping.”
He felt her warm breath feather against his neck and closed his eyes. “Whatever you need, Maggie.” Her hair was like satin under his fingers, even softer than he’d imagined. “I’m here.”
“Thank you.”
They sat that way for a while, his hands continuing to sweep in long, slow strokes along her back. It was how he used to comfort his kids when they had nightmares, when they’d woken in the middle of the night calling for him. They’d always called for him, not Trish. They’d known, even when they were wee, that he was more nurturing than their mum was. Now he used every soothing tactic he could think of to comfort Maggie. Eventually, he felt her body slump against him, heard her breathing even out and slow…
With caution, he pulled back to peek at her face. Her eyes were closed, her breathing deep. She’d fallen asleep. He eased her back ever so slowly, laying her down, pulling the blanket over her and tucking her in.
He sat and gazed at her in the moonlight; she was so beautiful and thankfully at peace. Her long hair spilled across the pillow, her sweet lips parted as she slipped into deeper sleep. Good for her. With a tentative hand, he reached out to smooth back a few strands of her hair that had stuck to her forehead.
He ached for her. Holy Christ, she’d been worked up. Whatever nightmare had gripped her had done so with sharp talons, merciless. Her cries in the darkness had shocked him into action and pierced his heart. He’d wanted to swoop in and rescue her, and she’d let him. She’d let him hold her and comfort her, quietly grateful. She’d needed him at that moment and he’d been glad to be able to help. He hadn’t felt needed in a long time.
The whole episode left him reeling.
His eyes drank her in as things clicked for him. For all her outer strength, Maggie still wrestled with her demons. Was she strong and savvy? Yes. Worldly and accomplished? Sure. But after today’s talk on the bus and what he’d seen tonight, he knew she was more vulnerable than she’d ever admit to. She fought for normalcy every day as much as he did. Though he’d thought them to be fundamentally different, they were more alike than he’d realized. That was both a comfort and an epiphany.
*
The next morning, Maggie woke slowly, her eyes opening to shafts of sunlight streaming through the white lace curtains. The sound of deep, heavy breathing drew her eyes to where Colin slept. He lay in the huge bed, the covers down to his waist, one arm flung over his head. He wore a plain white T-shirt, and she knew he had on blue striped pajama bottoms beneath the blankets. His thick hair was mussed and dark gold stubble coated his strong jaw. Appealing as hell, she thought. A quick snore escaped him and she smiled.
Then the night before came rushing back to her. A shiver twisted down her spine, racking her whole body. She rarely dreamed about the accident so viscerally anymore, but last night’s nightmare had gripped her so hard it stole her breath. Slivers of it flashed through her mind and she shuddered again.
Colin had held her. Quieted her, got her to calm down, let her take comfort from his strong, warm body and his soft, soothing words until she’d actually fallen asleep in his arms. He’d sat with her patiently in the middle of the night, giving her what she needed, sweetly caring for her. He’d been gentle, kind, and exactly what she’d needed.
Now, recalling that, more than anything she wanted to climb into the bed, curl into his side, and feel his solid warmth again.
She gazed at him for a long beat. Tempting. Soooo tempting. But she couldn’t do that to him, it wasn’t right. With a sigh, she got out of bed and headed for a shower. There was more sightseeing ahead today, and she wanted to let him catch up on whatever sleep she’d stolen from him.
*
On Sunday evening, after a pleasant day together, they got back to Dublin just past seven. Groaning a bit from stiff limbs as they got off the bus, Maggie figured they’d go their separate ways. She didn’t want to; she wished she could invite him to go home with her, get in her bed, and explore every inch of him all night long. But he wasn’t ready for that yet, she suspected. He was wrapped up so damn tight.
As she opened her mouth to say goodbye and thank him for joining her, Colin asked her if she’d have dinner with him.
Her heart skipped a beat. The way he was looking at her… he didn’t want the day to end yet either. Maybe he was ready for more than she thought? “Dinner? But you just spent all weekend with me.” She tossed him a playful grin as she joked, “Aren’t you tired of me by now?”
“No,” he said. The corners of his mouth turned up, a hint of sheepish and a lot of sexy. He stood there patiently, just gazing down at her.
Her heart fluttered. God, he was adorable. A knotted up burly bear with a sweet, kind heart. And lips she was dying to taste. And beautiful blue eyes that showed there was so much more on his mind than the short, polite things he said.
The noises of the city—cars driving, people walking by and talking, horns and shouts on the air—seemed to fade away as she stared back at him.
“I have to admit,” he said quietly, “I do enjoy your company.”
Delight and want made her stomach give a wobbly flip. She finally gave in to the impulse she’d been squelching all day. She dropped her duffel bag to the ground by her feet, placed her hands on his shoulders, and stood on her tiptoes to sweetly brush her lips across his.
“What are you doin’?” he whispered against her mouth, his eyes wide.
“Kissing you in the middle of Dublin.” She pressed her lips to his softly and his breath hitched. Loving that, she did that again, lips brushing against his with a feather’s touch. “Confession: I’ve been wanting to kiss you all day.”
“Is that so?” Amazement sparked in his eyes. His hands slowly lifted to her face.
“Mm hmm.”
Her heart started racing, adrenaline coursing through her. His fingertips stroked her cheeks as his gaze locked with hers.
She kissed him again, still soft and gentle, still testing, gaging his reactions. His body was tense, holding back, but his eyes revealed how much he wanted her. As usual, there was so much going on in those bright blues… but right now, desire was the winner there, clear as day. It gave her a rush and she shivered from it.
“Actually,” she said, “the full truth is, I’ve been wanting to kiss you for weeks.”
His gaze burned into her. His hands slowly swept along her jaw, then cupped her face. “Well… if we’re being truthful, I’ve been wantin’ to kiss you for weeks too.”
“Then you should,” she whispered, smiling up at him. “I mean, I already kissed you first…”
He closed the gap between them. Tentative, achingly slow, he explored her mouth with deep, searching kisses that sent warmth surging through her whole body. Sighing into his mouth, she kissed him back, falling into him. His arms snaked around her waist to pull her closer, pressing her to him. Her arms locked around his neck as she angled her head to kiss him harder.
The chemistry simmered, bubbled, and built, the growing tension between them a delicious ache. His tongue swept inside, finding and tangling with hers. Groaning into her mouth, his fingers dug into her hips as he drew her in tighter, squeezing her, learning her, slowly possessing her. They stood and kissed for minutes… hours… she wasn’t sure. She didn’t care. All that mattered was Colin.
She felt his erection press against her belly and a surge of lusty power shot through her veins. Her fingers ruffled through his hair, along the scruff on his face, down his back. It took everything she had not to slip her hand between them and rub her palm against the hard evidence of his arousal. She wanted him in her bed and in her body, right that minute, right that second. Urgency and heat flooded her senses.
“I want you so bad,” she whispered into his mouth.
Panting, he broke away and leaned his forehead against hers. “Christ…” His eyes opened slowly to stare into hers. “We have to stop.”
“Why?” She couldn’t catch her breath either. “Because we’re in the middle of the street, in the middle of the city?”
“Aye.”
“Let ’em all watch.”
“Exhibitionist.”
“You know us rowdy Americans.”
He laughed, but then nudged his hips against hers ever so slightly. The delicious pressure made her whimper with lust.
“This is dangerous,” he whispered.
“You need a little danger in your life,” she murmured, scraping at his bottom lip with her teeth. She wriggled against his hard-on and he groaned.
“You’re wreckin’ me here.”
“Good. I wouldn’t want to be the only one.”
He looked into her eyes. “What should we do now?”
She took a deep, shuddery breath. She wasn’t ready to leave his embrace, but they had to be able to walk down the damn street. “Let’s get some dinner. We’re both hungry, right? And then…” She wiggled a bit against his hips and he groaned again, his eyes slipping closed. “…you can take me home.”
His eyes snapped open and flew wide. “What?”
“You heard me. Take me home.” She dropped her voice to a heavy whisper. “And take me to bed.” Her fingers danced along the back of his neck, giving him delicious little shivers. “If you want.”
“If I want?” he echoed, incredulous. A hoarse laugh huffed out of him.
“Colin… I’m curious, so I’m asking.” Her fingertips played along the shell of his ear as they continued to hold each other. “When’s the last time you had sex?”
“Jesus…” His face flushed and his gaze shifted away. “A long time.”
Oh God, this sweet man. Wanting to ease his sudden awkwardness, she caressed his cheeks. “A really long time?”
“A pathetically long time.” The sides of his mouth curved. “Except for one quick time, a few months back, it’d been years.”
“Ah. Okay.” She bit down on her lip. “Sorry, need to know, dying to know. How many years?”
He swallowed hard and frowned harder. “Maggie…”
“Since you were married, right?” she asked gently.
“Since long before I asked for the divorce,” he said.
His quiet confession walloped her as she did the quick math. Six years at least, likely more… Holy God, this poor man needed a hot romp of a night. He needed her.
She kissed his lips with exquisite tenderness. “I want you, Colin. Come home with me tonight. My place.”
Despite his reddened cheeks and pained expression, his eyes held hers as he whispered, “You sure about this?”
“Completely.”
He kept staring at her, but his muscles had tensed beneath her hands. She kneaded the ones in his neck. So much going on in his eyes…
“Are you afraid you’ve forgotten how?” she joked.
A shocked chuckle burst from him. “Aye, perhaps.”
“I bet you remember quickly.” Smiling, she kissed him again and pulled back. “Let’s go have dinner. You’ll need a lot of fuel for what I have in mind for you, boy-o.”