Chapter Eight
Charity heard Dane rise out of the tub, water splashing on the floor boards, his sudden and quick movement startling her. She expected to hear him donning his clothes but when his bare feet slapped across the floor and the bed dipped as he sat beside her she was assailed with images of his nakedness. Shivers skittered across her skin when water drops fell from him to her, their slow slide like an erotic caress meant to arouse and electrify.
Normally Charity found the close proximity of a man disconcerting and uncomfortable, a remnant of her times in Bedlam, but there was something about Dane that made her feel safe. Instinctively she knew he would do nothing to harm her, ask nothing more of her than she was willing to give.
She didn’t understand why she told Dane about her uncle and what he had done to her, she had told no one the truth not even Dr. Phillips but she trusted him not to betray her confidence. She would give anything to spare Violet the pain of knowing the truth. Her cousin had suffered enough due to the marriage her father arranged for her and she did not need more piled on to what was done to her.
“Thank you for being such a good friend of Violet’s to understand why she must never learn the truth. She has so much anger toward her father for forcing her to marry that horrible man that was her husband. She tries to deny it but the resentment and hurt is there buried deep inside and it affects most everything she does now. She doesn’t need another reason to hate him.”
“I remember her saying how devastated she was when she was finally able to return to London only find that you had disappeared. She had been desperate to find you.”
“I will forever be grateful that she did. I am so very lucky to have a her as not just a cousin but a friend. She has taught me a great deal.”
“I believe she would say the same.” Dane briefly wondered if he should tell Charity everything but he dismissed the idea, he didn’t want to destroy what was building between them. He was sure there was something there, something he wanted to explore and see where it would go.
They sat quietly for a few minutes as Charity thought about how fortunate she really was. Life had dealt her a severe blow when she lost her sight and subsequently abandoned in the worst facility imaginable and she knew she would have died there if it had not been for Hubert and then Dr. Phillips but most especially because of Violet. She had given Charity a chance at a life, the dream of opening a music school for the blind that would not be possible without her support.
Charity was brought out of her thoughts when Dane shifted on the bed moving closer to her.
“That thing you did with the horse with your hands, to learn what it looked like, can you do that with a person too?”
She had thought about doing that with Dane so many times that she almost ached to do so. “Mmhmm.” Was all she could respond with, his nearness making her throat to dry for words. She turned her body to his when he gently took hold of her wrist raising it toward his face, his whispered plea twisting a knot low in her belly.
“Do me.”
Her breath hitched when her palm made connection with his cheek and for a moment he just held her hand there. When he released her wrist Charity lifted her other hand to his face and with her fingertips she slowly traced them over his cheeks. Scraping a fingernail over his bristles, proof that he hadn’t taken the time to shave that morning, as she moved across his high cheek bones to his eyes that fluttered closed when she drew near. Ever so gently she brushed her fingers over his lashes finding them long and thick before moving to his brows. Tracing the sharp line of them with a single finger that she playfully ran down his nose before racing back to his forehead.
Charity wasn’t sure which one of them moved closer of if it was both but she could now feel his breath lightly brushing across her face as she continued her discovery of him. She explored the width of his forehead until the need to bury her fingers in the hair that fell over his forehead was too much to resist. A smile touched her lips when she felt his soft curls that wound around her fingers as she moved them over his scalp. It was longer than was the norm for high society but not so much that it completely covered his ears which she trace the shell of causing his to shiver before moving to his neck.
“What color?” she asked with a whisper.
She heard his hard swallow before he replied, “Some would call it dirty blond.”
She swept her fingers up and over his head to rest them at his temples before asking, “And your eyes, what color are they?”
“Blue,” his breath puffed over her cheek. She smiled amazed that she had imagined that much of him correctly.
Wondering if there was more about him that she had correct she travelled her fingers down to explore the strength of his jaw and jut of his chin. Keeping one hand on his cheek she used the other to memorize the shape of his lips. Finding his top with a defined bow that she moved the tip of her forefinger over several times trying to brand the shape in her memory. His bottom lip was fuller and softer than she imagined a man’s lips would be. When she passed her thumb across its plumpness she could feel the warm dampth of his breath and gasped when his tongue brushed against the pad. Her breath stopped completely when he opened farther and drew her thumb into his moist mouth, his tongue wetting it as he swirled around the tip until he let it out with a small pop.
There was only one more thing that would complete the picture of him that she had in her mind, “Smile for me.”
When he did as she commanded her fingers quickly moved to his cheeks and skimmed over the dimples that she knew would be there. Smiling she dipped the tip of her finger in the small indent causing him to smile more which cause his dimples to grow.
“Just as I imagined,” she said with wonder and awe. He was more than handsome she thought, he was quite possibly the most beautiful man she ever encountered. Her experience was limited but there was something about Dane that called to her, drew her to him as no other ever had.
She wanted to explore more of him and without thinking of what she was doing she let her fingers trail down his jaw to his throat where the spot where she could feel his heartbeat race beneath his skin. Charity liked how soft his skin felt under her fingers, it was warm and smooth and she wondered if he would taste like salty sunshine and heat. She licked her lips as she fought the desire to lean forward and take that taste she longed to. She thought she heard him softly moan but wasn’t sure because of the roaring of her heartbeat in her ears.
Continuing on she flattened her palms over the width of his shoulders feeling the hardness of his muscles that bulged at the top of his arms. She stopped when she felt the edge of the wrapping over his wound not wanting to hurt him she moved back over his shoulders to skim her fingers over his collar bones, her fingers meeting in the center. From there she roamed over the muscles of his chest, they were hard and firm but not overly large, just enough to fit into the palm of her hand with a sprinkling of hair lining the dip in between the two halves of his chest. There was something she found fascinating about his hair and she played with it for several seconds before she searched out the flat disks of his nipples, brushing the pad of her thumb over the hard peak.
When his breath hissed through his teeth she stopped, “Did I hurt you?”
It took a while before Dane answered and when he did his voice was thick and breathless, “No, it felt too damn good.”
Charity felt emboldened by his words and stroked her thumb across his skin again smiling when a moan tore from his throat.
“You are beautiful,” she told him, “just the way I pictured you.”
“You pictured me this way? Sitting beside you with nothing but a towel?”
She tilted her head with a impish grin, “Would you think me terribly wicked if I said there was no towel?”
“Fuck!” his low guttural curse was followed by his mouth slamming down on hers. His hands grabbing the side of her face to keep her where he wanted her as his tongue sought and found entry to the inside of her mouth. Their tongues danced tangling together and she could tasted the bitterness of ale. This wasn’t a gentle kiss, it was hot and demanding, taking what he wanted while she freely gave. His fingers swept into her still damp hair to angle her lips where he wanted them, the sting on her scalp more pleasure than pain. The growls that rumbled deep in his throat only served to heighten her desire for him, for more.
Charity sent one hand to the back of his neck to hold him where she wanted him while the other travelled down over the rippled muscles of his abdomen. The sensations his rough demanding kiss sent coursing through her was more than she ever thought she would feel and yet her body called for more. Feelings she never experienced before charged through her, heating her skin making her sex throb, moisture pooling between her thighs.
She whimpered in protest when Dane grabbed hold of her by the wrist effectively halting her exploration of his torso. He tore his lips from hers, both gasping for badly needed breath. He pulled her close so that his cheek rested at her temple, his lips against her hair, his harsh breaths tickling her ear.
“My God Charity I want you so much right now, but I don’t want to frighten you.”
“Why would I be frightened of you? You have saved my life, in more than one way.” She wanted to tell him that these passed days spent with him and now the way he kissed and touched her had brought her to the realization that she didn’t have to settle for spinsterhood. That she was desirable, after all if a man like him could want her with that kind of fire then surely she could find someone...but she didn’t want just anyone she wanted him and only him.
∞∞∞
Dane had never experienced anything as erotically arousing as her delicate fingertips tracing the pattern of his face. He had been with a lot of beautiful women in his time, and had a lot of amazing sexual encounters but nothing compared to Charity. Her touch was an aphrodisiac to the senses making him harder than he had been in his entire life. His cock swelled to painful degrees tenting the towel wrapped around his waist and the pressure grew with every slide of her fingers, every caress of her warm breath on his cheeks.
As he watched her he was mesmerized by the many expressions that crossed her face as she explored him but when her looked changed from curiosity to soft sensuality he found himself falling under her spell, wanting her with a need greater than his need for air. He fought that need with an iron will he didn’t know he possessed but when she shyly confessed to thinking about him and by God thinking of him in the same way he thought of her, naked and beneath him, he lost his grip on his control. When he brought his lips down on hers he could still feel her soft touch on upon him, taste the saltiness of her thumb that he had sucked into the moistness of his mouth. He wanted to devour her, kiss, touch and taste every inch of her delightful body. He dragged her against him glorying in the feel of her soft breast crushed against his hard chest.
His need for her, the need to be buried deep in her wet warmth was so strong that he was not gentle in his kiss and he knew that he was being rough when he grabbed her hair but he couldn’t stop himself. Just like he couldn’t stop his hand from seeking out and finding one of her lush and supple breasts, taking it in the palm of his hand to massage and squeeze his fingers into. Pinching her rigid pointed nipple between his thumb and forefinger, his mouth watering for wanting to suck on her flesh. Yet she seemed to not mind his roughness in fact when she moaned and pushed her fullness more firmly in his had Dane thought she may even welcome it. But when her small hand travelled over his stomach in the direction of his cock he force himself to stop her before he lost complete control and took her with more aggression and force than she deserved. Even though his cock protested painfully crying out for him to bury it deep inside her he ended their kiss and pushed her away, not enough to leave much space between them but enough that allowed him to think clearer.
Knowing what she must have endured while incarcerated he had to find some restraint before his aggressive behavior frightened her and he lost any chance of winning her for his.
He surprised himself with thoughts of claiming Charity as his. In the past he never thought passed the moment of sexual gratification or getting the job done if necessary but now with Charity his thoughts bent more toward a future together with her. Did that mean his feelings were involved, that his heart was at risk? He wouldn’t think of that now, he only wanted to make this experience the best he could for Charity.
“I’m not ignorant to the things that women endure and I understand that the brutality of what was forced on you is probably too much for you. I hope that you will give me a chance to show that it can be so much better than what you have experienced but I won’t ask anything of you that you are not prepared to give.”
He wasn’t sure what he expected but it wasn’t her apparent confusion, “What...I don’t understand what you mean. What was forced on me that you can possibly change?”
“Charity my sweet,” the anguish he felt when he thought about her suffering was clear in his voice, “I’ve heard the stories about what is done to the women in Bedlam. The tortures, beatings and…” he could hardly bring himself to say the word, “rapes that happen in that horrible place.”
“Oh.”
He felt her pain in that one simple word and his heart ached for her, ached for everything that had been taken from her.
“Yes I was beaten on occasion and the day that Doctor Phillips rescued me a surely thought I was going to die but the other...the torture and rape they never happened.”
Dane couldn’t say he was never more surprised by her revelation, “I just thought from all the stories coming out of there that…”
“The day my uncle abandoned me there I thought my life had truly come to an end. You see I too had heard all the stories about the horrors of Bedlam and when he took me there I had decided as soon as we walked through the doors that if I could at the first opportunity I was going to end my life.”
Dane felt as if someone had slammed a iron fist into his stomach the pain her words wrought was so great. He had so many emotions twisting inside him, rage at her uncle’s cruelty, agony that such a sweet girl had to endure the shame and fear of being abandoned in the cesspool of human depravity called Bedlam but mostly he was gloriously thankful that she had somehow survived to become the beautiful woman that now sat beside him.
He was afraid to ask, not wanting to know but still needing to but he lacked the courage so he waited for her to continue while every fiber of his being wound tight.
“I would have too if it hadn’t been for Hubert stopping me.”
“Hubert?” Whoever he was Dane wanted to thank the man.
“He was a patient there. A giant of a man with the strength of three men but the mind of a child. He was sweet, kind and a gentle soul and I never knew why he took a liking to me but my very first day he became my guardian. He kept me safe or at least as safe as a person can be in a place like that. The first time a man tried to force himself on me Hubert beat him so badly that the men there knew to stay away from me, even the guards didn’t dare risk incurring his wrath.”
Dane saw her fondness for the fellow in the way her voice softened as she spoke of him and the way her face lit up but he also heard the sadness that underlined her story.
“Then one day very early before I awoke the guards came and took him away never to return and I never learned what became of him. That was the same day Dr. Phillips rescued me and took me away from there. So you see Dane I may not be as innocent as when I was first taken there but I am still as virtuous.”
It took a moment for Dane to understand what she was telling him, “Are you saying Charity that you are virgin? Are you still a virgin?”
“Yes.”
“Holy Christ!” Dane bounded off the bed and away from her so fast that the towel covering his rapidly deflating shaft nearly fell to the floor. He quickly sought out his clothes and keeping his back to her in a matter of seconds he had his trousers pulled over his hips while his heart raced in his chest at the implication of what he almost did.
A virgin! Bloody hell he almost bedded a virgin.
He raked up his shirt and dropped it over his head shoving his arms into the sleeves, his breathing uneven and harsh as he cursed himself for every kind of bastard.
“I’m sorry Charity that should never have happened. There is no excuse for what I was about to do and I promise it won’t happen again. You are under the protection of King and Country, under my protection and I nearly stole you virtue.” He scooped up his boots and slamming one foot inside he turned to face her, the second boot dangling from his fingers.
“Had I known you were a virgin Charity I would never have touched you.”
Charity bounded off the bed her small hands balled in tight fists, lips a hard line over clenched teeth, “Yet it was acceptable to touch me when you believed I had been raped? Did the thought of me being dirtied in the most vile way make it easier for you? Did you think a cripple like me would be grateful the handsome virile Duke of Westbrock chose to lower himself to teach me how good it could be?”
His shoe dropped from his suddenly numb fingers as Charity came charging around the end of the bed to stop just a few feet in front of him. With her closer Dane could see her hurt sitting there beneath the blazing anger that he now knew she was using as a shield against that hurt escaping to the surface.
“That is not what I meant Charity,” he wanted to explain that he held her in to great a respect to callously take her virginity in a cheap roadside inn. That he felt she deserved the best, candle light, roses, wine and a soft comfortable bed where her husband could make love to her all night long. But Charity’s anger wouldn’t let him go on to explain.
“Maybe you thought you were doing me a favor, after all what man could possibly want a crippled former Bedlam inmate as a wife and you were gracious enough to martyr yourself. Give the handicapped one night of ecstasy to remember for the rest of her miserable lonely existence. Or maybe I’m just part of the job to you and you might as well enjoy it while you can.”
“No Charity…”
Again she wouldn’t listen to his explanation, instead she jabbed him in the chest with a finger hard enough to make him rock on his uneven feet.
“Well no thank you Your Grace, I’m not interested in your pity fuck.”
“Charity,” Her name came out in a whisper, Dane unable to keep the absolute shock from his voice.
“Surprised Your Grace? I learned a lot of different words in Bedlam while I was fighting for my life.” Charity’s voice broke on the last four words and covering her mouth with a trembling hand she spun away from him but not before he saw the brightness of tears in her eyes. She must have been so upset that she forgot the placement of furniture because she had only taken a few steps before she slammed into the chair set beside the copper bathtub. If Dane had not lunged for her and wrapped his arms around her slender waist she would have fallen head first into the cold water.
For several long minutes they stayed that way, locked in embrace, neither one saying anything. Too much had already been said, too much still needed to be said but both dared not put what they were feeling into words. As their breathing came back to normal and they both began to relax Charity pushed out of Dane’s arms and he let her walk over to the bed. He watched, the pain in his chest like a knife, as she drew back the thin blanket before settling on the mattress, turning her back to him.
Dane dragged his hand through his hair then bent to retrieve his boot off the floor. Pulling it on he moved to the door, where he turned for one last look before he stepped out of the room locking the door behind him. He needed a drink, or maybe even several.