Hadley
“Ryker, Vanessa is going to be here in half an hour. Do you want me to make you anything for dinner?” I opened the freezer and pulled out a frozen pizza.
“Why doesn’t Tate take you to work anymore?”
With some hesitancy, I backed away from the freezer and looked at Ryker who was sitting in the living room. “Uh, it’s just easier for Vanessa to give me a ride.” This was the first time in weeks that he had said an actual sentence to me.
“Are you still dating him?”
I turned on the oven and unwrapped the pizza. “Um, no.”
“Why not?”
With the pizza in the oven, I slammed the door. I almost preferred Ryker not talk to me over the fifty questions I was getting. “It just didn’t work out.”
“It looked like it was working when I walked in on you two.”
A sigh escaped my lips, and I shook my head. “Please don’t talk like that, Ryker.”
“I’m sixteen years old, Hadley. I know about sex.”
A weak smile crossed my lips. “I think I could have lived another fifty years without hearing that.”
He moved into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He looked up at me and flexed his fist in front of him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing him?”
“Ryker, do we really have to go over this? I’m not with him anymore and—”
His hand slammed down on the table, and he shook his head. “Hadley, just tell me why you think you needed to hide it from me?”
With my arms crossed over my chest, I leaned against the counter and bowed my head. “I didn’t know how you would react. I didn’t want you to think that me dating Tate changed anything.”
“What was it going to change? It’s not like I’m some kid looking for a guy to be my dad. I haven’t had a dad all my life, Hadley, so you think you dating a guy would mess things up? What messed everything up was you deciding you knew what was best for me and lying to me.”
“I didn’t mean to lie to you, Ryker. I was just trying to protect you.”
He laughed softly and shook his head. “You know that’s the same thing Mom told me when I asked her how long she had known she had cancer?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t know that, Ryker. I found out she had cancer when you did.”
He stood up and paced the length of the kitchen. “She knew for a year, Hadley. She knew for a whole freakin’ year that she was going to die, and she didn’t tell me ‘til I only had a few weeks left with her.”
“I’m sorry, Ryker. You have to know that Jeri was just trying to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?” he yelled. “Protect me from helping her, from me being there for her? I was such a fucking punk to her, and I didn’t even know that she was dying. She was dying, and I was worried about school and how we were going to pay for the next karate tournament. I was a selfish prick WHO DIDN’T KNOW HIS MOM WAS DYING!” Ryker’s legs gave out, and he collapsed on the floor. “I could have helped her, but she wouldn’t let me.” He buried his head in his hands and sobbed. He cried for his dead mother. Tears streamed down my face for the mother he lost and for my sister I would never see again.
I gathered him in my arms, his body shaking. “It’s okay, Ryker. It’s okay. I feel the same way, but there isn’t anything we can do about it now. She loved you with everything she had, and she didn’t want you to have to worry about her.”
Ryker wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close. “I would have been better. I would have been home every night if she just would have told me.”
His words ripped my heart out. I had thought the same thing when she told me. I would have visited more. I would have made time to call her every day. I would have just tried to be a better sister. “You can’t change it, Ryker. She knew you loved her.”
“It just hurts,” he gasped.
“God, Ryker,” I sobbed. “It’s okay.” He held onto me like I was the only person left on Earth.
I held him because we were all we had left.
“Shit.”
My head jerked up, and Vanessa was standing in the living room. “Um, the door was open.”
Ryker wiped his nose with the back of his hand and fell back on his butt.
“I’ll just go wait in the truck. Take your time.” She backed out of the door and shut it behind her.
“Well, I bet we looked like an after school special.”
I laughed and wiped my cheeks off. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s not what she figured she was going to walk in on.”
“I’m sorry, Haddie.”
I rubbed his shoulder. “You don’t have to be sorry, Ry. I didn’t know that you felt that way.”
He shook his head and rubbed his hands on his jeans. “No, I mean I’m sorry you broke up with Tate because of me.”
“Oh, honey. Don’t blame yourself for that.”
He smirked and shook his head. “It’s kind of hard not to when you guys were all hot and heavy, and then I walk in on you and then it’s over.”
“I just don’t think it’s a good time for me to start seeing someone. I need to just focus on you and trying to find a better job.”
He sniffled and sat back on his butt. “You’re looking for another job?”
“Yeah, I need something better for us, Ry, and a good job is going to help with that. I just need to get us out of the hole and pray no other bad shit happens.”
“I have money saved up, Hadley. I can pay for the car to get fixed.”
I shook my head. “As of right now, I shouldn’t need it, but if tonight doesn’t go how I expect it to, then we’ll need it.”
“What’s going on tonight?”
“I’m praying for big ass tips and to hit the lotto.” I wasn’t going to mention those tips I was hoping for weren’t going to come from waiting on tables. “Are you okay to stay by yourself? I can call Rick and ask for the night off.” I’m sure Vanessa could testify that with the night I had, I deserved to have time off.
“I’m good. I…just think…” He looked up at me and smiled. “It just feels good to finally say that.” He stood up and held a hand out to me. “Go to work, Haddie. My messed up self will still be here when you get home.”
I grabbed his hand, and he hoisted me off the floor. “Okay. Just call if you need anything. And I’m sorry too. I should have told you about Tate when it first started.”
Ryker shrugged. “I didn’t care you were dating him, I just hated that you didn’t think I deserved to know.”
“Well, you know now, and I promise to never make that mistake again.” I grabbed my purse off of the counter and hugged Ryker.
“Aunt Haddie,” he called as I opened the door. “Um, if you want to date Tate, you know, I think it’s pretty cool.”
I hung my head and smiled. “You’re gonna drive me to drink, Ry.” I shook my head. “Don’t stay up too late, and I’ll call you on my break. Love you.”
I strode to Vanessa's truck and felt a little bit lighter.
Ryker and I were talking, but now I was about to go to work and take off my clothes for money.
Life was cruel.
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