“Christmas status check?” Matt asked into Natasha’s hair.

Post orgasms, they’d stretched out on his couch, her on top of him, both naked. He’d lost the Santa hat somewhere along the way but it had done its job.

“Hungry,” she mumbled.

He’d been going for happy, but he could work with hungry, too. “Food first, shower second? Or food first, sex again, decorate the tree, maybe shower last?”

She laughed and lifted her head. “You’re insatiable. I like it.”

He stroked her cheek. “For you? Yeah, I am. It feels like we never get enough time—and I get why. Obviously. But the long-distance thing makes the time that we have together…special.”

“For me, too.” She twisted her head and kissed his fingers. “Food first. Let’s play the rest by ear. But decorating the tree is definitely happening.”

Once they untangled their bodies, she tugged on his sweatshirt again, then grabbed her discarded panties from the floor and stepped into them.

“I like you in my clothes,” he said as he zipped up the hoodie.

“This is going to smell like sex.”

“Good.” He kissed her hard on the mouth. “Food options. Let’s see what we’ve got in the Christmas box.”

There was another tub of cookies, half a fruitcake, and a box of chocolates. He handed the chocolates to her and carried the cookies and cake into the kitchen.

“Before we do a head-first dive into dessert…” He pulled open his freezer. “Steak? Stuffed chicken breasts? Stew from…” He scraped a bit of ice off the container and looked at his handwriting. “Four months ago. Still good.”

“You made stew?”

“I love stew. One pot can feed me for days.” He grabbed a second serving and ran them both under hot water to release the frozen blocks. Then he added them to a pot on the stove with a bit of water and got that warming up. “Toast with that?”

“Please.” She sat at his tiny table and watched him with what felt like wonder—not that he was doing anything impressive—as he put bread in the toaster and pulled dishes out of the cupboard.

“Now the tricky thing, Ms. Bartender…I don’t have much to offer you in the way of drinks.” He nodded toward the fridge. “I think I have a can of Heineken in there, which we could split.”

She got up and instead of going to the fridge, disappeared into his living room. She returned with a nice-looking bottle of red.

He burst out laughing. “You packed wine?”

“I have my priorities straight, don’t you worry. Do you own wine glasses?”

“Yeah, I’m not a total caveman. I just haven’t used them recently.” He pointed to the top cupboard, then watched as she stretched up on her toes to get them. Condoms and wine. She was something else.

When the stew had warmed through, he split it between two bowls and they sat next to each other with a plate of toast between them. They ate slowly and talked about all sorts of things. Natasha grabbed her phone and showed him pictures Sable had texted her of Emily opening way too many presents.

“I’m glad I saved the ones I have for her until she gets back,” Tasha said, chewing on her lower lip. Then she took a deep breath. “Oh, speaking of dysfunctional families, my parents sent an email wishing us a merry Christmas, which I suppose is better than absolutely nothing.”

“Where are they?”

“RVing through Arizona.” She shrugged. “They’re basically going through a second youth, and don’t really want to invest time in being grandparents. They used the excuse of not approving of my pregnancy to fuck off, but they weren’t great with Mer’s kids, either.”

Matt lifted his glass. “To dysfunctional parents.”

“And may we not be them.” She tapped her glass against his lightly.

“I’ll drink to that.”

She watched him over the rim of her glass.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Not nothing,” he said softly.

She laughed and shook her head. “No. Just a weird memory that roared back with a vengeance at the weirdest time.”

He held her gaze because he wasn’t afraid of anything. “What was it?”

“After we knew for sure that Jake wasn’t the father of my baby, he said that a real man would step up, even if he hadn’t wanted the pregnancy in the first place. And he said something like, ‘A lot of men don’t think they want babies. My brothers are all like that.’”

Matt swallowed hard. Thanks a fucking lot, Jake. “That was four years ago. And someone else’s assessment of me, not my own words. But he was right about what a real man would do. And if it had been me instead of Jake four years ago, I’d have wanted your baby even if it wasn’t mine. Emily is amazing.”

Her eyes glittered. “I know. That was a weird tangent, sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s Christmas. The holidays are emotional, or so I hear. I’ve been emotionally unavailable my whole life, so this is new and fascinating to me.” He scooted his chair back from the table and turned it so he was facing her, nothing in between them. “I never thought about having kids or being a parent before I met you. I spent my entire adult life avoiding second dates. Commitment wasn’t anywhere on my radar. But that’s all in the past. Okay?”

“Yes.” She leaned in and kissed him. “Thank you for not freaking out.”

“I’m good. What other hard topics should we cover? Or are you ready to talk about this morning?”

“Which part?”

“All of it.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like my ex,” she admitted.

He resisted the urge to agree with her. David was arrogant and awkward, at least around Natasha, and the way Matt saw it, he’d made that bed for himself with poor choices. The natural consequence of abandoning a woman to raise your child by herself is that woman not liking you, and not wanting you in her house.

“But then there’s another part of me that worries that he might be right. That I’m in over my head. Because when the furnace stopped? That felt true. And then I get angry about that, because fuck him and his judgement.”

“This is your first real speed bump as a homeowner. It’s natural to worry about how you’ll sort it out. But you will.”

She bit her lip as she looked at him, her eyebrows pulled together. “I spent more than I should have on my construction supplies. There were some good deals, and I had an extra discount, and now…suddenly I’m perilously close to running out of money. If I don’t get the units up and running soon, I’ll suddenly find myself in a financial hole every month. I—I have never been reckless with money before, but I’ve never owed money on this scale, either.”

“You said you loved the challenge of all of this. Is some of that waning?”

“I guess. That was before it got real. Now I’m back to being terrified. Last night I thought, maybe I should try and sell it.”

“Wow. Really?”

She shrugged. “I feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, and doing a quick flip of the house would cut my losses. Sell the potential. I don’t know. If I can get it sold at a profit, with the work I’ve put into it and a new furnace, someone else with more capital might be able to do what I was thinking without the stress of riding it so close to the line. I don’t know if I want that extra pressure.” She licked her lips and dropped her gaze.

“What?”

“Wrong thought, wrong time.”

“No, never. You can tell me anything.”

She lifted her eyes, glittering with unshed tears. “It might be easier for me to move closer to David.”

That punched Matt in the chest. Hard. He wanted to tell her no, that she should stand her ground. The asshole didn’t want her or Emily three years ago. He’d had his chance to have them close. Now Matt wanted them, and he’d do whatever it took.

Except he wouldn’t tell Tasha how to live. Or where to live.

He loved her enough to let her make whatever choice she needed to make for her daughter, or herself.

He opened his mouth to say something—anything—but nothing came out.

“I know that’s not the right answer…”

Did she? Good, because he hated it and couldn’t say that out loud.

“Matt…”

He re-focused on her face as the first tear rolled down her cheek, fat and full of sorrow. Shit.

“What if I make a bad decision out of stubborn pride or spite, and it ends up hurting Emily?”

He squeezed her arms and shook his head. “You are an amazing mother. You would never hurt her. Trust your gut.”

She blinked solemnly and more tears fell.

He took her face in his hands, wiping away each tear, drying her cheeks. “I have all sorts of selfish reasons to say you shouldn’t move, but I can think of one really good reason that has nothing to do with me. Your dream matters, Tasha. It really does.

“Remember what you said to me. You are all that you need. You are stronger than strong. You will slay this dragon. But you are not alone. You could do this on your own, but you don't need to. I have your back.”

“I know you do.”

“And I know people.”

“No, Matt, I can’t…” She trailed off.

He knew she wanted to figure it out all on her own. But she had a boyfriend who had her back, and he came with brothers who loved nothing more than leaping into the fray. It was a Foster trait, for better or worse. “Just promise me you’ll think about it. That’s all.”

“Okay,” she finally said. “It’s not that I want to sell. I just don’t want to be selfish, either.”

“You’re not. You deserve happiness.” Let me be your happiness. “And this house is the first step in your master plan for world domination. Don’t let a speed bump derail that.”

“Right.” But she whispered it like she really wasn’t sure.

He kissed her. “You’re going to be just fine.”

“I want your confidence,” she said with a little laugh.

He stopped and pressed his forehead against hers. “You know what? I don’t have a lot of confidence right now. But when I told you about my troubles at work, you had faith in me. Even when I don’t have that faith in myself. This is the same thing. Let me be your biggest cheerleader.”

Her eyes, big and dark and wide, searched his face.

Matt had never let anyone in like this. A friend to share dreams with, a lover to confess one’s biggest fears. It would be foolish to fall in love with a woman who just told him she might leave him, but for the first time in his life, Matt didn’t care if he was being a fool.

And he wasn’t going to passively wait for her to figure out how he felt, either.

“I love you, Tasha,” he said quietly. “And that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever said in my entire life. I promise I won’t ever hurt you like David did. I’ll never make you doubt yourself.”

She slid her hands over his forearms, her fingers shaking as she leaned in and kissed him, a barely open brush of lips and tongues that felt raw and eager and vulnerable.

Perfect.

He kissed her back, then hauled her into his lap. She wrapped her arms around him, a lamprey eel again.

He couldn’t ever forget how much she needed him to be a rock she could cling to. “I’ve got you,” he whispered into her neck. “Forever.”