Matt drove all the way home in silence, then went to bed without turning on the TV. He woke up before the ass-crack of dawn, driven out of bed by enthusiasm rather than anxiety for once, which was a nice change of pace. But even so, it was too early to politely drop by to have the long-overdue conversation with his brother.

That almost didn’t stop him, because he was riding so high on the night before—even with only a few hours sleep.

Who needed rest? Overrated in the face of something as special as a friends-with-responsibilities relationship with the sexiest, sweetest woman in the entire county.

Instead of waking Jake up, he drove out to the Search and Rescue team’s training facility to burn off some steam first. A run didn’t feel like it would be enough. He needed to burn.

He flashed his EMS badge at the gate to the provincial park, then carefully crawled at the indicated speed limit until he got to the clearing with the lodge and the climbing and rappelling tower.

He had the space all to himself, which suited him just fine.

He parked beside the tower, then grabbed some rope from the shed around back. It was cold, so he left his coat on at first, but once he got going, he shucked it off and let the movement keep him warm instead.

The exercise, and his burning thoughts.

He didn’t want to become Natasha’s dirty secret—or vice versa. She hadn’t made him feel like that, at all, but there was an unexpected pride bursting forth from within him.

Inside the four walls of her house, everything felt right. Perfect. He could live for more nights like last night, and not just because of her. Hell, he’d already fallen head over heels for her kid. Watching her put Emily to bed last night, he’d thought, why didn’t I meet them three years ago? Why couldn’t it have been me that made this amazing little girl? But that wasn’t the right time.

She’d have hated him then.

Or loved him for a single night before seeing him for all that he wasn't. Whatever, he didn’t want to dwell on what could have been.

But right now, they were at a crossroads.

She wanted to date him. But he got the strong feeling that she saw her future as just her and her daughter.

He could take that as rejection, that there was no future between them. This was all he got, which would painfully be everything he hadn’t known he wanted, and still not enough at the same time.

He landed heavily on the platform at the top and sucked in a painful breath. It would be a fucking cruel twist for the universe to show him all he’d been missing this whole time, then take it away in the next breath.

Except he didn’t think the universe would be that hard on Natasha. Him, maybe. He deserved to be taken down a peg or two. But her? She’d been through enough.

No, the universe had put him in her path for a reason.

Now he just needed to figure out how to show her that.

“What are you doing here?”

He looked over the edge of the railing and saw Tom Minelli standing in the clearing below the tower. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“You talked your way past the gate staff, and they called me to find out if there was training happening this morning that I’d forgotten to put on the schedule.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine. I was heading out here this morning anyway. What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Just felt like climbing.”

“Without a spotter?”

“I’m in one piece.”

Tom laughed. “It’s my job to point out that’s not safe.”

“Yeah, well I had a lot on my mind, and breaking down my brother’s door at six in the morning seemed like a bad idea.”

“Excuse me?”

He’d meant to mutter that under his breath, but it had clearly carried. “It’s a long story.”

Tom held up a Thermos. “I’ve got coffee. Or we could go hit Mac’s if you’re hungry.”

Matt wrapped the rope around his arm and tested his hold. “No.”

“You coming down?”

“Yeah.” He swung his leg out, then grabbed the rope with his other hand, confidently descending. “See?” he said once he was on the ground. “Undamaged.”

“Don’t let anyone else on the team see you do that.”

“Sure thing, Dad.”

“I rescind the offer to share my coffee.” Tom led the way over to the training lodge, opening the door. “It’s also fucking cold out, you idiot.”

“I’ve got gloves on. It’s good practice.”

Tom just shook his head. “Come on in. Sean’s on his way, too, so if he’s the brother you’re pissed at, this could get awkward.”

“I’m not pissed off at anyone.”

Tom ignored that and crossed to the kitchenette.

Matt hung his head. Fuck. He hated it when Tom went all Zen and philosophical.

He should leave.

He didn’t.

When his friend returned, holding a steaming mug of coffee in one hand, and a couple of creamers in the other, he took them and doctored his coffee.

“So that’s a no to telling me what’s going on?”

“That’s a fuck right off with your nosy questions.”

“Nice language.”

Matt closed his eyes. “I’ve met a woman. And don’t say that I meet women every day, because that stopped a long time ago. This woman…I met her months ago, man. Months. And I haven’t been able to get her off my mind since. She’s perfect.”

“That’s the worst problem to have,” Tom said mockingly. “My fucking condolences, you selfish prick.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m lucky. It’s just that today, this morning, I’m realizing I may want more than she can give me right now.”

Tom laughed. It was gentle at first, almost kind, but then it grew. “Well, you can’t win ’em all.”

Matt frowned, not liking his friend’s easy dismissal.

“We all make questionable choices from time to time, and they don’t always pay off. For example…” Tom said. “I slept with Chloe.”

Wait, what? Maybe Tom wasn’t doling out wisdom about Matt’s situation. “Chloe who?”

Tom scowled at him. “Davis.”

Matt choked on his coffee. Jesus. Apparently they both had woman troubles. “Get out.”

“What? You don’t think I’m her type?”

“I know you’re not her fucking type. She’s so far out of your league it’s not funny.” The Pine Harbour librarian was smoking hot. Curvy, pierced, tattooed, sassy… and she’d turned Matt down the two times he’d tried to hook up with her, ages ago. He knew she had impossibly high standards, and there was no way in hell his straight-laced buddy could ever meet them. Plus he liked the change in subject. “So it didn’t go well?”

Tom’s scowl deepened. “She came to me, for the record. And it went better than well, not that it’s any of your business.”

“What do you mean, she came to you?”

“She showed up at my place the other night…”

“Are you blushing?”

“It went very well, thank you very much.”

Matt laughed. “For you, maybe. But if she didn’t want a repeat, it wasn’t that great for her.”

“You never want a repeat with anyone, but you’ve never seemed disappointed.”

The irony wasn’t lost on him. “I didn’t know what great was, it turned out. Now I want—” He choked on the next words. A lifetime of repeats was what he’d been about to say. And they hadn’t even gotten all the way naked yet.

Cart way before the horse.

“You’re serious about this woman?”

“Very.”

“Who is she?”

He rubbed his jaw. “Her name’s Natasha. We met when I was in Port Elgin for a training course, and there was something about her from the first moment I laid eyes on her.” He chuckled. “Although I met her daughter first.”

You could have heard a pin drop in the lodge if anyone were to drop one. But nobody would, because Tom was his only audience, and he knew without looking at his buddy that he’d died of shock.

“She’s got a three-year-old. Emily. Really cute.” He kept going. In for a penny… “Oh, and a few years ago she had a short fling with Jake.”

Really not a big deal when he said it out loud. Totally—

“Your Natasha is Jake’s Tasha?”

“She’s not Jake’s anything.” She’s mine. Another fact not completely yet in evidence. “And watch what you say next.” Matt shoved to his feet and balled his hands into fists. He didn’t care if Tom was his friend, nobody talked about Natasha in anything but the most glowing of terms.

Tom gave him a hard look, but didn’t get out of his chair. “Why have you kept this a secret?”

He hadn’t meant to.

“Does she know who you are?”

He reared back. “Yes. Fuck you, of course she does.”

Tom looked at him, long and hard. “And that’s why you were thinking of breaking down Jake’s door at dawn?”

Before the conversation could go further, a truck pulled up outside, the engine noise interrupting them.

Tom waved his hand toward the door. “That’s either Sean or Owen—he’s helping with the new training plan, too. You’re welcome to stick around if you’d like. I can dole out more exceptional relationship advice.”

Matt snorted. “Since when are you a relationship expert?”

“I’m an observational scientist. And I’m not a monk. Just because I keep my liaisons discreet doesn’t mean they don’t happen.”

“I’m pretty sure they don’t happen because nobody calls them liaisons.”

Tom shrugged. Mr. Fucking Casual.

“Nah, I’m gonna get out of here. I need to go find Jake and tell him so this can stop being a thing hanging over my head.”

Of course Sean had to walk in as he said that, and Owen was right behind him.

Matt waved at Tom. “I’ll see you later.”

His brother gave him a confused look, but accepted his fist bump on the way past.

Owen, however, followed him outside.

“Hey,” his friend said. Or maybe Owen was being his boss right now. They hadn’t talked again since Owen brought up his concerns in his office, but Matt had felt observed at work.

He took a deep breath. “Hey.”

“Is everything okay? I heard the tail end of that. Something hanging over your head?”

Matt turned in a slow circle. “You know what? This peninsula is too damn small. I have too many damn brothers and I can’t even come out here to have a punishing workout without tripping over my boss.”

“I’m not your boss right now. I’m just a fellow guy on the Search and Rescue team who’s worried about his friend.”

“You want to know what I was telling Tom? About a woman I’m interested in. That’s it. I don’t see whatever it is that you think you see about me, man.”

“Why’d you need a punishing workout this morning?” Owen glared at him. Well, the guy had a heavy, hooded gaze at the best of times, but it felt like a glare. It felt piercing and judging.

“I’m a fit guy. I go for a hard run almost every single day.”

“I was your partner for a year. You don’t like running.”

“Didn’t. Now do. People change.”

“People self-medicate with endorphins, too.”

“And what the hell would I be self-medicating about?”

“I was there, remember?”

No. Matt had no idea what Owen was talking about. And he didn’t really want to find out, either. He threw his hands in the air. “Not now, okay? I’m in the middle of something important. I gotta go. See ya.”

He turned, giving his boss—and his friend—his back. He didn’t need to be derailed this morning. Maybe Owen didn’t see that, but that wasn’t Matt’s problem.

His blood was pumping as he pulled away in his truck. He was still a bit worked up when he parked in front of Jake and Dani’s house, so he pulled out his phone.

Natasha answered on the first ring. “Good morning.”

God, he loved that warm, happy bounce in her voice. It immediately soothed him. “Same to you.”

“We’re just making oatmeal,” she said.

“Sounds like fun. How was your first night in the new house?”

“We both slept in a little, so pretty good.” Her voice drifted away from the phone as she told Emily to sit with her oatmeal, then she was back. “What’s up?”

“I’m sitting outside Jake’s house.”

“Oh.” Then she laughed, a little, worried sound that made him second-guess everything. “Sorry, that’s all I’ve got right now. Oh. But…” She exhaled. “Okay. Sure. Brave new world, big new adventure, let’s rip bandaids off, too. Let me know how it goes.”

“I will.” He gripped his phone tighter. “And Natasha?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you.” It was his secret just how much that meant. Wanting more was a uniquely Natasha-related effect.

“That is…an excellent follow-up.” This time, her laugh didn’t sound worried. “I should get back to the oatmeal princess.”

“Sounds good. Say hi to Emily for me, okay?”

“Will do.”

“Later.”

Since it was still early, he didn’t hop out of his truck and go right to the front door. He called his brother next.

“Why are you sitting in my driveway?” Jake said when he answered.

“Good morning to you, too.”

“I was just about to come outside.”

“It’s cold out here.”

“Then come in, but be quiet. Dani and Cal are sleeping in, we had a rough night. Teething.”

Matt took a deep breath and hung up the phone.

His brother swung the door open as he approached, and after he kicked off his boots, they headed into the kitchen.

Jake filled the coffeemaker with water. “What brings you in this direction so early?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something. About someone, actually. Someone important to me.” He gestured to the appliance. “But coffee first.”

Jake measured out the grounds, then got it started. “Are you hungry? I might put some toast and bacon on.”

“Sure.” It wasn’t that he was delaying the conversation. Just…creating a normal framework for it to happen within.

And he didn’t put it off that long. As soon as Jake set a cup of coffee in front of him, he dove right into the heart of it.

“In September, I met a woman. A single mom, and her daughter, at a cooking class of all places. We hit it off and we’ve been very slowly exploring a friendship ever since.” He swallowed hard. “You know her.”

“I do?” Jake took a sip of his own coffee.

Matt waited until his brother didn’t have scalding liquid in his mouth before he explained further. “Natasha Kingsley.”

Jake’s eyes flared wide, and after taking another deliberate sip of coffee—slowly—he leaned back against the counter. “Wow.”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“No.” Jake pulled a face. “It’s a small peninsula, I guess.”

“Yeah.”

The facial contortions continued as his brother tried to pick his next words carefully. “Where is she now? I haven’t seen or heard from her in years.”

“She was in Port Elgin. She just bought a house in Wiarton. Moved in yesterday, as a matter of fact.”

“Sounds like you’re more than friends.”

“We’re something. It’s a friendship I’m hoping may turn into something serious.”

Jake’s face tightened up. “Be careful.”

Matt’s first instinct was to slam his cup down and tell his brother to shut his mouth. Instead, he set the cup down gently before saying it in a slightly nicer way. “Don’t go there.”

“Matt, you don’t understand. Tasha’s needy.”

“No, you don’t understand.” God, he got mad over this easily. Did other men feel protective as fuck like this, with a hair-trigger? He also didn’t want to hear her name coming out of his brother’s mouth. Not like that.

Jake didn’t seem to notice the rage rising. “She’s looking for a father for her daughter.”

“No, she really isn’t.”

“Yeah. Don’t you remember—”

“She hasn’t dated since Emily was born,” Matt burst out, cutting off whatever bullshit Jake was going to spew about the past. “I had to convince her I was worth a shot. Convince her my family wouldn’t be a problem, because the past is the past. That’s what I promised her. Don’t make me a fucking liar.”

“Emily?”

“Her daughter. I know you probably haven’t thought of her again, but Natasha has this whole amazing life. Emily’s three. And adorable.”

“Okay. Look, I only want what’s best for you, but maybe you don’t know everything that went down with Tasha.”

“Natasha is what’s best for me. And if you call her Tasha again, I’ll break your fucking face.”

Jake gave him a wary look. “I hear you. I don’t mean anything by it.”

“You do. When you say that, what you’re saying is, you don’t value her as anything beyond what she once was to you. But that was nothing. It was a single night, and some residual stuff around that, but we all know you were always meant for Dani. And Natasha didn’t want you, not really. You were just a good guy when her ex was being an asshole. Right personality type, right time, but very much the wrong guy.”

Jake’s mouth fell open, but he recovered quickly. “She told you all that?”

“She’s told me enough. I’ve figured some of this out on my own, too. I’m not stupid.”

“No. Right, of course not.”

“I’ve had a lot of experience being the wrong guy at the right time, you know. I know exactly how nothing that combination is. Physical comfort that works in the moment but needs to be washed off as soon as humanly possible. Which is kind of fucked up when really, it’s just another form of friendship.”

This time Jake winced. “You’re right.”

“You’re God damned right I’m right. And now I’ve got something different. Now I know what real friendship is, the deep, lasting kind, and I want more with her, but I need to be able to promise her you aren’t an issue here.”

“I’m not.” Jake leaned in and looked him straight in the eye. “I’m really not.

“Good.”

His brother laughed. “So, Natasha, eh?”

“Yeah. She’s amazing, you know that?”

Jake nodded. “I guess I do. She was a good friend to me.”

Matt pumped his fist. “Yes. There you go. Give me something else. Remember her as something else.”

Jake nodded. “She’s brave.”

“Hell yes.”

“And a hard worker.”

“Yeah. She is.” He dragged in a breath. “I’m going to convince her that this family is worth getting to know, and I want to trust you’re going to be a good brother when I finally get her to come out to dinner.”

“I can do better than that.” Jake sighed. “I should talk to her. I mean, I should apologize. I didn’t handle the conversations around her pregnancy as well as I could have.”

“One thing at a time.” The last thing Matt needed right now was for Jake to go surging in as some kind of misguided saviour. “If there comes an opportunity to make that right, take it. But don’t go inserting yourself into her life.”

“Understood. Really, that’s…I get it.”

Footsteps on the stairs cut them off, and a moment later, Dani appeared in the doorway holding a red-cheeked and cranky little Calvin. “What’s up?” she asked, passing the toddler to her husband. “And is the toast burning?”

Matt and Jake turned as one to the toaster oven, and the four scorched squares inside that used to be bread. “Shit,” Jake said. “Yeah, I’ll make more.”

Dani poured herself a coffee, then took Calvin back and set him on the counter. “Do you want a banana?” She held up the fruit and touched her fingertips to her mouth. “Are you hungry?”

Cal burst into tears.

“Okay, today’s not the day to practice baby sign language, got it.” She groaned and picked him back up again, rocking him on her hip as she drank her coffee.

Matt thought for a minute that her sleep deprivation might prevent her from asking again why he was there, but he wasn’t that lucky. When her cup was empty, she handed it to Jake to refill while she pinned her gaze on Matt. “So why are you here?”

Before he could answer, Jake handed his wife a fresh cup of coffee and the answer all in one fell swoop. “He’s been dating Tasha—Natasha—Kinglsey.”

Dani’s eyes bugged out, for just a second, but then where Jake had gone all serious, her face went soft. “Really? For how long?”

Matt shifted in his chair. “Since mid-September.”

“So ditching Thanksgiving…”

“That was to spend the afternoon with her.”

“Oh, Matt.” She squeezed Cal and rubbed her cheek against her son’s hair. “That’s great.”

He felt his cheeks heating up. “Yeah. It really is.”

“So…” She searched his face. So many questions. He understood, but it still made him squirm a bit. “She has a kid, right?”

“A daughter. Emily. We met first and bonded over cupcakes.”

Jake inserted the detail about the cooking class, and Matt suffered through a little laugh on Dani’s part. But she seemed genuinely happy for him.

“You’re dating a single mom.” Dani grinned. “If this weren’t a sensitive topic for other reasons, I’d have a lot of fun with that.”

“It’s not that sensitive,” Jake growled.

Matt took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think it’s better to just make it as chill as possible. One day, I’m going to bring her to a family dinner, and I want it to be completely normal.”

“Did she have a family dinner for Thanksgiving?”

“Yeah. Her family. They ate at lunch, then we met up afterward when her daughter spent some time with, uh, her ex.” He was probably telling them more information than was necessary—more information than was his to share. “Anyway, don’t feel bad for her. That’s not what this is about. She doesn’t need me. Very much the opposite. I want every bit of her, and she’s wary and reluctant. So I need you both to know that, and know how important she is to me. Got it?”

“Crystal clear,” Dani said softly. “We’d love to see her again and get to know Emily.”

Jake choked on his coffee.

Dani gave him a pointed look. “You sure it’s not a sensitive topic, husband-of-mine?” She turned back to Matt. “We would love to meet them both, and any time. Soon, later, whenever. We’ll work on our reactions, too.”

Matt got up, put his mug in the sink, then gave her a hug, carefully including grumpy Cal in it. “Thanks. You remain my favourite member of this family.”

She squeezed him back with her free arm. “Thanks for telling us.”

When he got home, he threw in a load of laundry, then grabbed his phone.

Natasha answered on the second ring. “Hello, stranger.”

“I just got home.”

“Ah.” She waited a beat. “How was it?”

“It went well. I should have led with that.” It went well eventually, which was what mattered.

She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Is it okay?”

“Yeah. I’m glad you told him. I’d built it up into a big thing in my head, and I’m glad you took the lead there.”

“I’m happy to take the lead wherever you want me to.”

She laughed. “Nice segue.”

“I mean it. House painting, cheesecake baking, recreational bondage. I do bossy really well.”

He loved the sound of her giggle. “Noted. We can explore all of that.”

“Yeah?” He rolled his lower lip between his teeth. “I can’t wait.” His phone vibrated. He pulled it away from his ear and groaned. “Hey, so…my brothers are texting me en masse to razz me about having a girl I like-like. This is a first in thirty years so I’m going to have to go and take some abuse.”

She laughed gently in his ear. “Okay. Have fun with that.”

“I won’t. Ah, maybe I will. I do like-like you after all.”

“I like-like you too.”

He had the goofiest grin on his face as he ended the call and slid into his text messages.

He was still grinning, though. They were jerks, but they were his jerks.