LUXURE

It’s been weeks since I told Sirena of her mom’s death. Weeks since she has opened up to me about how she’s feeling. Her supernatural strength is growing every day, and Cole and I have started training her, trying to channel her anger and power to focus it and learn to wield it without losing control. It’s a slow and unfamiliar process, but we’re doing the best we can. The farmland Kade brought us to is pretty amazing. There are plenty of wide open spaces to train, to run, and to hide. There hasn’t been a sniff of any other supernatural beings since we arrived, and we’ve been vigilant to look out for any signs of danger. We take shifts making sure one of us is awake and alert at all times. Sirena hasn’t learned to tune in to a potential threat yet, but it doesn’t stop her from sitting up with me whenever it’s my watch bombarding me with questions eager to learn more about the world she never knew existed.

When it comes to Sirena, her lineage, and her reason for being, I’m of no use, and it kills me to see her so disconnected from who she thought she was. She has been trying to find a record of her birth, checking the Palestinian birth records in case her father was telling the truth about her place of birth. Unfortunately, there was no Sirena Sovende born in Bethlehem. The American records haven’t turned up anything either, as of yet. We’re not even sure her last name is Sovende, or whether this was a name Gabriel decided for her. If we even had that small shred of information, then we might be able to find a starting point. All we know is that it started a thousand years ago, and every female in her family has been a free soul… Sirena being the first to find out her true nature.

Her heart is broken and bitter after the loss of her mom. She can’t forgive herself for her lack of control and her mom’s subsequent demise. Every day she forces me to walk her through the events of that day, struggling to make sense of it all looking for some redemption. I haven’t told her about what happened after she left with Kade. Before now, I was worried she would see me differently, but her attitude of late has me more concerned that she would try to exploit that darkness in me, to exact revenge for her in cold blood. If I let myself be that person, there is no telling the kind of dark power she could siphon from me. None of us understand how it works yet, and I don’t want to risk harming her or her harming an innocent person. I think it would be the last straw for her. There would be no going back.

Kade has been working on meditation with both Sirena and Selma. They need to find a place inside of themselves where they can find peace and calm if they will ever be able to jump the way we can. He had been working with Selma for a few weeks before I asked him to include Sirena. It’s a safety precaution. If her powers continue to increase and her supernatural side becomes dominant, she will most likely be able to master the art of jumping. Unfortunately, in our efforts to stay under the radar, everything Kade teaches them is strictly theoretical. Selma needs to perfect her jump to avoid putting herself in a vulnerable position the way she did in L.A. She has been working on building her strength so as not to drain herself completely when she makes a jump.

Today we are going to let them spar together for the first time. They aren’t exactly best of friends, but they need someone of a similar build to work with, and no matter how much they taunt us, none of us are willing to fight them full force or even half!

I hate to say it, but Sirena works best under Colère’s tutelage. They have formed a bond, and I can see that she trusts him, maybe more than she trusts me right now. She’s angry that I couldn’t curb her strength that day. She’s never said it, but I can see it in her eyes and feel it emanating off of her in waves.

Out in the middle of the field, I look to the skies, blue as far as the eye can see, the air sweet with the smell of evergreen leaves, the grass damp with the morning dew. The five of us stand in silence breathing in our surroundings, our senses tuning in to listen for and identify the slightest hint of danger. All I hear are birds chirping in the trees, the many woodland creatures crunching through the undergrowth, and the distant howl of a wild dog. Cole talks the girls through the rules of sparring. Even though they’ve heard them a million times before, something tells me that today they might discard the rules in favor of a cat fight. Kade looks concerned as he makes his way over to me. “I don’t think this is such a good idea. Selma was created to be a warrior, and Sirena is a ticking time bomb of supernatural strength. They’re going to kill each other.”

“They’re sparring, Kade. They’ll be fine, I think.” Even I’m not convinced.

“What if Sirena siphons Selma’s strength on contact?”

“Well, we haven’t had any evidence over the past few weeks to indicate that she can siphon anyone but me. If we get even a hint of that changing, then I won’t let her near Sel. Why are you so concerned for Selma all of a sudden?”

He gets defensive, his stance mimicking his demeanor as he folds his arms tightly across his chest. “Unlike you, I’m focused on the bigger picture. When the Vollstrecker come looking for us—and make no mistake, they will—I want to be ready, and since you won’t let me bring the rest of our brothers here to help, we need as many bodies as possible to fight. Selma is a born fighter, and Sirena is quickly becoming a real supernatural force to be reckoned with. Forgive me for wanting both of them standing with us when it comes time to fight.”

“Fair enough.” That may be true, but he’s bullshitting his way out of this one. I see the way he looks at Selma. He would never admit that he feels anything for her—it’s not in his nature. He still tries to push my buttons with Sirena, full of innuendo. He’s fighting against his basic instinct to win her from me. He’s always wanted everything I have. He wanted Abi, and he wants Sirena. She’s a prize to be won—a unique being who cannot be replicated, bought, or bartered. It kills him, and yet in rare moments, I see a flash of genuine awe and maybe a hint of happiness for me as his brother.

When Cole finishes talking to the girls, he leaves them to their training and comes to stand with Kade and me. “This should be fun!” Both Kade and I sneer in his direction.

They begin to circle each other sizing up their opponent, looking for that perfect opportunity to land the first blow. Selma has the advantage in terms of height and experience, but Sirena is cunning, a crouching tigress ready to be unleashed. Selma lands the first punch, catching Sirena in the ribs and winding her. Sirena is quick to retaliate, her foot sweeping out to knock Selma’s legs from under her. As much as I don’t want them to fight, watching them is breathtaking. Selma’s grace and Sirena’s speed make for a delicate and intricate dance weaving in and out of each other’s space, finding the weak spots, and exploiting them to their best advantage.

Selma is relentless in pursuit of her target. I’ve never seen her in battle, but the Masuulka are built for war. They are indestructible, yet with a surprisingly gentle nature. They have a unique capacity for love, but they guard Uitare with a ferocious sense of duty. Good or bad, angels and demons alike, they will ruthlessly defend ‘the space between’ without question. Selma is just as ruthless with Sirena landing blow after blow and holding nothing back. She is out for blood… but so is Sirena.

Sirena’s supernatural side is prominent for all to see. She’s getting faster, stronger, lither, and intuitive of Selma’s next move at every turn. The woman before me is not the mythology and anthropology professor I met in San Francisco, which seems like a lifetime ago now. Her compassion is depleted. Her anger and thirst for revenge are magnified. She is still as beautiful as ever, but she’s more closed off. She knows full well I feel everything she feels and vice versa, but she’s determined not to admit to any weakness, keeping it all bottled up inside, fueling her strength and pushing our relationship to the limits.

They each give as good as they get. Selma, putting her experience to good use, catches Sirena off guard on occasion, taking her down, making her beg for mercy, but Sirena never gives in. She stays strong and fights back. To watch them run and twist and tumble around the field, neither one tiring or giving an inch, is awe inspiring. And then something unexpected happens. Sirena looks to me, a smile on her face as she crouches down and spreads her hands across the soil beneath her digging her fingers into the earth. The ground begins to shake, and the grass begins to yellow, drying out as she draws water from the earth below. Selma is knocked off balance by the earthquake that Sirena’s power is unleashing. As Sirena stands, the water rises from the ground, pooling in the palms of her hands, ready to heed her command. The look in her eyes is darker than I’ve seen before as she moves her arms in Selma’s direction, the water changing course with every twist and turn of her fingertips. Selma is a fierce warrior, but I can see the fear in her eyes at the sight of the human before her. I can’t stand back and watch this anymore.

I run to Selma standing between her and Sirena. “Go into the cottage, Sel. Kade and Cole will go with you.” She doesn’t argue or question me, which tells me she knows that Sirena’s show of strength is something to be feared. Kade walks up behind me gathering Selma into his arms. “Be careful, brother.”

“I’m fine. Get Selma inside.”

When they are safe indoors, I turn my attention to Sirena, her gaze intense as the water begins to bubble in her hands. “Sirena, listen to me. Take a deep breath and release the water.” I reach out to touch her, but it only angers her.

“Why do you seek to keep me weak, Luxure? Why won’t you stand with me and avenge the death of my parents?”

Tears fill her eyes, and I feel her grief fueling her anger. “I’m standing right here, angel.”

“Don’t call me that! I am no angel!”

“You will always be my angel, Sirena. No matter how hard you try to push me away, I’m going to be by your side. Whatever you need, whoever we need to kill, I will carry out your vengeance with no mercy.” Her tears begin to fall, her heart softening ever so slightly. The walls she’s been building slowly start to crumble, so I keep talking, trying to reach my soulmate. “If I have to go to the ends of the Earth, and kill everyone in my path, I will do that… for you. What I cannot do is watch you become the demon you once turned your back on, before you were even born. I need you to come back to me. Angel, demon, or human, all I want is the woman I love. I need you with me, Sirena, and I need you to love me back. If the darkness is where you need to stay for the moment, then let me stay there with you. I have led many men to many wars, long before you were born. Let me be your sword. Let me avenge Gabriel and your mom.”

The water falls to the ground soaking back into the soil around us. She lunges forward, throwing herself into my arms. “I miss them so much. I can’t stand the ache in my chest. Please, help me find some peace.” I hold her, stroking her hair, promising her the peace she needs to survive. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

“I’m not going to let anything happen to you. We’ll get through this together.”

“I’ve missed you, Luxure. I’ve missed… us.”

“Me, too.” I ghost a kiss to her tear-stained cheeks. “If I am to tear the Heavens and the Underworld apart for you, I need you to promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“I need you to listen to Cole and learn to control your growing powers. What you did today with Selma was unacceptable. She is here to help and fight alongside us. She is here to keep you alive. You can’t direct your anger at her or anyone else who doesn’t deserve it. You are too strong for that.”

She hangs her head ashamed of her actions. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what comes over me. It’s like a surge of electricity goes from the tip of my toes up and through every atom in my body… taking over. I just see… red.”

“I know. I feel it when it happens, every second of it. But, if we are going to stand any chance of fighting our foes, you need to control your emotions. Once you gain control of that, the rest will come. You’ll learn to channel your pain and anger when you need it and curb it when you don’t. Cole can help you with that.”

“I’m scared, Lux. I’m scared of what I’m becoming.”

I kiss her once more. “You are and always will be, Sirena Sovende, the most amazingly talented and beautiful woman I have ever met. Maybe you need to try to connect with your old life in some way. Read or research what you love. Find that spark that used to light up your life and hold onto it.”

“You light up my life. I was walking around in a daze until you came into my lecture theater.”

“Then focus on me, on us. Focus on the greatness that can come from our love for each other, the potential for good, and on the light rather than darkness.”

All of a sudden, she is completely drained of energy almost collapsing to the ground. I scoop her up into my arms breathing in the scent of her—happy to have her tight in my grasp. “Don’t give up on me, Luxure. Please.”

“Never.” I take her to the house and put her to bed. Sitting in the corner of the room, I stare at her wondering what I can do to help. What have I done to her? She brought light into my life, and all I have given her in return is a darkness that threatens to consume her.

* * *

“She needs a routine.” Selma, Kade, Cole, and I sit around the dining table while Sirena sleeps.

“Sel, I don’t think a fucking routine is going to help matters.” I can’t hide the annoyance in my voice.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot, Luxure. I kept your ass alive for a thousand years. I nursed you back to health, physically and mentally. You’ve just chosen to block that out.”

“That’s not true.”

“Do you remember how devastated you were about Abi when I met you?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t think you do. You were in worse shape than that girl upstairs. I may not be her biggest fan, but she has an inner strength to be admired and not to be underestimated. What she needs right now is a distraction. Tasks to keep her mind from wandering down dark and dangerous paths.”

Cole speaks up. “That’s a pretty sound idea. She needs to learn to fight, and we have to get her powers under control. If she can’t learn to control her emotions and these surges of energy, then we’re all fucked.”

“Don’t you think I know that?”

“I don’t know. You’re too busy fucking her to care.”

“You better shut your mouth, Colère. I’m trying my best here. It’s not like I have any experience with a unique being who has to learn how to be a demon. She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and you want me to bring out her demonic side on purpose. It’s not that fucking easy for me.” I run my hands through my hair frustration clear in my voice. I think carefully before continuing. “I love her, and I don’t know how this is all going to turn out. Until we find some concrete facts about her lineage and what she is, this is all a guessing game, and if we’re wrong, it could kill her. I already have Abi’s death on my hands, I can’t have Sirena’s.”

“We’re not going to let that happen, brother.” Kade puts his hand on my shoulder, a small offer of comfort. “We lost you once. We won’t let it happen again. I don’t know if you ever thought about this, but we loved Abi like a sister. We all felt her loss, and it was compounded by the loss of our brother, our leader.”

It never once crossed my mind as to the pain my brothers must have felt when Abi was killed. “I’m sorry, Kadedus. I was selfish and consumed by my grief.”

“I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad. I want you to know that we’re here with you because we believe in you, we believe in Sirena, and we will stand beside you both and fight whatever foe comes our way.”

I’m overwhelmed by Kade’s genuine show of support. Cole and Selma nod in agreement, and I’m truly touched by their willingness to fight with us.

“I think we need to be realistic. It might be time to involve the rest of our brothers.” Cole looks to me, expectantly, but I can’t give him the answer he wants.

“No. I can’t put everyone at risk.”

Kade agrees with me. “He’s right, Cole. We contact them now, and all eyes will be on us. It will draw too much attention. For now, we’re on our own. If and when the time comes, we will bring The Brotherhood back together, but only as a last resort.”

“We need to stay under the radar while we train Sirena. Cole, I spoke with her earlier and asked her to agree to work with you on that.”

“That’s fine with me. Anything you need, brother.”

“Thank you.” I turn my attention to Kade. “Can you start researching Sirena’s heritage and all of our potential foes? We need to know who the major players are on both sides these days and find their weaknesses before we come up against them.”

“I’m on it.”

“Can you do it with Sirena? It’ll be good for her to do something that’s familiar. She’s spent her life researching every world religion and mythology. You might find her a valuable asset, and it will help distract her.”

“I can do that.”

‘What about me?” Selma speaks up.

“I need you to keep working with Kade and Cole to perfect your jump. You need to be able to get to somewhere safe, and if necessary, take Sirena with you if we come up against a fight we can’t win.”

“You want me to perfect running away? Fuck you, Luxure! I’m a born warrior.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. You have no idea what you could jump into if you don’t perfect it. It can be a great tool in battle. You can lead an enemy into your territory to give you a tactical advantage. You can lead them to an army lying in wait. We have used it many times in war so don’t disregard how useful it can be, and don’t ever think that I underestimate you.”

This appeases her fierce temper for now. “Fine. I’ll continue to work on it. But don’t think I’m going to run away at the first sign of trouble.”

“I would proudly stand and fight with you, Selma.” Just moments ago I thought Kade had turned a corner, but he’s still an arrogant asshole trying to posture for position with her.

“So would I, so don’t be the asshole who makes me look like a dick. I know Sel better than anyone. I know how loyal, trustworthy, and ferocious she can be for those she loves. I am honored to call her my best friend, and I think myself lucky every fucking day that she took pity on me all those years ago.”

Selma stands from the table and walks into my arms. “I love you, too.”

“You know I love you, Sel. Always have and always will. I’m sorry if I haven’t told you that lately.”

I see the anger and envy in Kade’s eyes at her declaration. He doesn’t understand true friendship between a man and a woman or a demon and one of the Masuulka. He’s careful not to speak, instead standing from the table and walking out into the cold night air.

Cole and Selma head off to get some rest. A habit rather than a necessity, but I think we all need our space at times. It’s not easy living on top of each other in this cottage. I decide to take a walk and talk to Kade.

* * *

“Why are you out here? Looking to put me down some more?” I just want to punch him when he acts the victim. The only person he is a victim of is himself.

“You can stop now. No one’s listening.”

“Fuck off, Luxure. I’m not in the mood for one of your high-and-mighty speeches.

“Why are you here, Kadedus?”

“I needed some fresh air.”

“Not what I meant, and you know it. What are you doing here helping me?”

He starts pacing the field, a mixture of anger and disbelief distorting his features. “Are you serious? I thought you were dead. For a thousand years I mourned you. We may not have been as close as you and Colère, we may have had our differences, but you are still my brother. I looked up to you. I’m fucking Envy for fuck’s sake. Do you know how hard it is to be around you?”

“What do you mean? You have everything any man could ever desire.”

“Except someone to share it with. I watched you for thousands of years with Abiteth. She loved you. Surely no one deserves that kind of love twice? But you, you rise from the dead and find another epic love. Sirena is the most amazing being, both supernatural and human, and she loves you.”

“Why should you care who loves me? If you want someone to share your wealth and success with, go find someone.”

“Don’t you see? You may have learned to control your lust, but I have never mastered my envy. It controls me, no matter how hard I fight it. It’s unbearable at times, and when it gets too much, I give in rather than suffer the pain. But this… I can’t. I am here because I want to help you, Luxure. Not only for you but also for me. I need my brother back, and I need The Brotherhood to be reunited in the future. I crave the strength, the power, and the respect we commanded together.”

“So this is about The Brotherhood?”

“No. This is about all of us. While you have been surviving and living your life with Selma all these years, your brothers have drifted apart. In truth, without you, it wasn’t just the Underworld that crumbled, it was your family, too. I don’t remember the last time I spoke with Paresse or Vanto. Gier and Craos are the only two who have stuck together throughout the years. The rest of us have been alone in our grief, mourning the loss of more than one brother. It wasn’t only you who died that day. A part of each one of us died with you.”

I am disgusted with myself at his confession. I have lived all these years in selfish grief over Abiteth, and I have been given a second chance at love with Sirena. A predestined, star-crossed love that I am helpless to fight. I am completely unworthy of her love, Selma’s friendship, and my brothers’ help. And yet, here I stand with all of those things. “I’m sorry, Kade. I know it’s hard to fight against your nature, and I’m so fucking sorry for everything I’ve done. I never once stopped to think that you would miss me or be worse off without me. I was blinded by grief and guilt over Abi’s death, and I thought you would all be better off if I stayed dead.”

“You are alive, and if Cole and I have anything to do with it, you’ll stay that way for a very long time.”

“Thank you, brother.”

We stand in the darkness staring up into the vastness of space, aware of just how tiny this world is in the scheme of things. I am overcome with emotion after my brother’s revelations. Kade has never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and hearing him tonight, I have a newfound respect for him. Each of our sins is different. Some are harder than others to control. Some are harder to fight against in our personalities. As one, we were able to find balance and become the best versions of ourselves, if only for a short time. Without that, I don’t know what has become of my brothers, but tonight, Kade gave me hope. Hope that one day we can be those better versions of ourselves again, and if we can do that, then maybe one day I will be worthy of my Siren’s love.

For now, I need to keep her alive and in control.