SIRENA

I haven’t heard from Lux since Thanksgiving. It’s been two weeks since I watched his eyes come alive with the brightness of a thousand stars—the most glorious violet color I have ever seen. Those eyes have haunted my dreams every night since. The feel of his lips against mine plague my every waking moment. I’ve replayed every second we spent together over and over in my mind trying to find answers to the mounting number of questions I have about this man, but I have no way of contacting him, and even that is strange. Who doesn’t have a phone these days? He’s not in the phonebook. I’m ashamed to admit I even tried to Google search him after week one. Nothing. Not one entry. No Twitter account, no Facebook, no address—nothing.

I believe in research—it’s how I make a living. I’ve tried to find out anything I can about violet eyes and glowing eyes, but it’s a dead end for anything real. I found myths of legends in Egypt of the ‘spirit people’ and of Alexandria Augustine in the 1300s who was thought to be a witch until the town priest assured her mother that she was a gift rather than something to be feared. All in all, everything I found pointed to it being a myth rather than a true genetic mutation. Apparently, Lux and Elizabeth Taylor are the only humans ever to have violet eyes. As for glowing violet eyes—that was a dead-end. Again, I found a lot of myths and conjecture about glowing red eyes which is obviously absurd—no more than people wanting to scare their friends and relatives at Halloween.

This week I’ve thrown myself headfirst into the outline for my next book and getting caught up with my class grading. Thankfully, my lecturing schedule is packed full this semester, so I manage to distract myself for the most part. But the days that those piercing eyes find their way back into my consciousness, I am consumed with a yearning to see him again. Talking with him was so natural, and being in the same room as him gave me a feeling of calm, a sense of belonging that I have been searching for my entire life. And his touch—God, his hands were made for sin.

“You okay, boss?”

I’m snapped from my delicious daydream by Josh’s irate voice. “What?”

“Are. You. Okay? It’s been like working for a space cadet the past two weeks. What is going on with you?”

“I’m just tired. With the last book and the talks and appearances on top of lecturing, it’s taken a lot out of me.”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be. I’m fine. Just busy.”

“You need to get a life and go on a date. I don’t even remember the last time you went out with a guy.”

“I didn’t realize you were keeping track. Now butt out of my business and worry about your own dates.” I’m not in the mood for the third degree from Josh right now. He’s the exact opposite of me when it comes to love and dating. He believes in fairy tales and soulmates and love that can conquer all. I, on the other hand, don’t.

“Okay, okay! Can I at least ask if you have any plans this weekend?”

He just can’t help himself. “My mom and dad are flying into town. I didn’t see them Thanksgiving, and they decided Christmas was too long to wait to see me. I’m just that awesome.”

“Well, I have a hot date tonight, so if you don’t need me for anything else, I’ll head out.”

“Sure. Have fun. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Have a good weekend.” He walks out with a spring in his step, optimistic for the night ahead. I’m left in an empty office on an empty campus with my laptop and the seed of an idea for a new novel to keep me company.

* * *

I awake with a start disconcerted by my surroundings. My heart is pounding in my chest at the sound of someone walking the hallways. I glance at the clock on my desk, the red glaring digital display hurting my eyes. It’s 2:00 a.m. I must have fallen asleep while I was working. I didn’t realize I was that tired. The last time I remember noticing the time was 9:30 p.m. I guess obsessing over Lux and trying to distract myself over the past few weeks has taken a toll on me.

I hear footsteps coming closer.

I take off my heels and grab a heavy brass candlestick from my bookshelf slowly creeping toward my door as I hold my breath. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins as I quietly turn the lock.

The footsteps stop.

Shit. My pulse is racing as I throw open the door and venture into the hall. There are no lights, but the moonlight streaming through the windows is enough to let me see the length of the hallway in both directions. My knuckles are white as I clench the candlestick in my hand ready to swing it at anything that moves. But there’s nothing there. Not a single soul. A pang of fear runs through me. I know what I heard. There were definitely footsteps right outside my door only moments before I opened it. Where did they come from? I continue to look up and down the hall expecting to see something that would explain the noise. I finally conclude that I must have been half dreaming, startled awake, and letting my imagination run wild. I laugh at my stupidity. I’m a thirty-one-year-old critically acclaimed professor, and here I am in the middle of the night chasing the boogey man around an empty campus. What the hell am I doing? I start laughing to myself and listen as the sound echoes off the walls.

I need a break—from work, from writing, from my life, and most definitely from obsessing over a man with whom I shared a conversation in a gallery and one dinner. We didn’t have some epic romance or even a one-night stand. We shared a kiss. That’s it. It may have been the most intense, passionate, sensual kiss I’ve ever had… but it was still only a kiss. I keep telling myself that it’s just my inquisitive mind at work. I was intrigued by his eyes and the air of mystique surrounding him. If I were thinking with my brain rather than my libido, I would have explained this away by now as a trick of the light—a reaction to the moonlight or my alcohol-affected eyes seeing things—plain and simple. Whatever it was, whatever I felt in his presence, he obviously didn’t feel the same way, or I would have heard from him long before now. With my mind made up, I gather my laptop and papers, grab my jacket, and slip my shoes on before heading out into the crisp cold December air.

I lift my eyes to the unusually clear sky sparkling with stars and a bright, beautiful full moon. I fill my lungs with the ice-cold air drawing in a long, deep breath almost to the point of pain. I hold it for a few seconds and exhale letting the stress from the past few weeks and months fade away. This weekend will be a new beginning. I can feel it. At this time of year, there is magic in the air, and anything is possible. I’ll enjoy a quiet weekend with my parents, decorate my Christmas tree, and relax for a change.

I appreciate the city around me as I walk home in the dark, stillness of the night, the frost glistening on the sidewalk. All of a sudden, a strange feeling forms in the pit of my stomach. I stop dead scanning the streets for any sign of life. I can’t see anything, but the odd sensation wracking my body doesn’t dissipate. It’s the same one I have whenever Lux is near. An inexplicable combination of fear, excitement, and anticipation mixed with a sense of belonging that translates into a stomach tied up in tight knots, twisting and turning until I can barely breathe. For a split second, I think I see a glimpse of violet in the trees, but when I look again, it’s gone.

“Lux, are you here? I can feel you.” I wait berating myself for talking to the empty street, and yet I continue to wait searching the darkness. When I’m convinced I’m losing my mind, I quickly make my way home, and the feeling in my gut is as strong as the moment I first felt it four blocks back.

When I reach my street, I’m surprised to see all of the lights on in the neighbors’ windows—at least one light in every single house on my block. It’s weirdly comforting as I walk toward the steps of my little slice of heaven—my warm little community welcoming me home, lighting my way in the darkness. As I pull out my keys to unlock the front door, I can’t help but scan the street behind me one last time searching for violet eyes that I know aren’t there.

Safely ensconced in my cozy bed, I fall into a restless sleep plagued by things that go bump in the night, empty hallways, and violet eyes.

* * *

“Dad.”

I spy my mom and dad through the crowds in the market. I catch my dad’s eye and am immediately met with the most heartwarming smile—the one that makes me feel at home, safe, and above all, loved. I navigate my way to them dodging people, pets, and packages in the Christmas hustle and bustle that is San Francisco. He pulls me into his strong arms enveloping me in his warm embrace. I breathe him in. He’s my home. He always has been. When you move around a lot at a young age, you learn that home isn’t a place, it’s the people you surround yourself with. I love my mom dearly, but my dad and I have always had a special relationship. We understand each other. We’re friends as well as father and daughter. He’s always made me feel like the most important person on the face of the Earth. It’s a talent of his. We could be on our own or in a room of thousands, and I would always know that I was his priority, and my happiness is everything to him.

“Sirena, my girl. I’ve missed you so much. Thanksgiving just wasn’t the same without you.”

I squeeze him a little tighter. “I missed you, too. My Thanksgiving was… strange without you guys. It didn’t feel right.”

“Stop hogging our daughter, Gabe. Momma wants a hug.” The sweet sound of my mom’s voice breaks through the white noise of the busy street.

My dad reluctantly lets go turning me to face my mom, her arms outstretched waiting to welcome me in. “Come here, my sweet girl.”

“Hi, Mom. It’s so great to see you.” I enjoy the comforting smell of her perfume. It always takes me back to when I was a little girl jumping on her bed and asking if I could have some so that I would smell the same as mommy. “I hope you guys haven’t been waiting long. I didn’t sleep great last night, so I was a bit slow getting up and ready this morning.”

My dad just smiles. “Just browsing the market. Were you out last night?”

“Working late. Got home even later and then had some weird dreams.”

“You need to stop working so hard, sweetheart. We are so proud of everything you’ve accomplished, but trust me when I tell you that you’ll wake up one day and realize all these accolades will mean nothing if you don’t have someone to share them with.”

“I have you guys.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Please don’t. If you start, then Mom will start going through her list of friends to find a single son for me to blind date.” My mom gives me a disapproving smirk while trying not to laugh at the truth in my words. “Let’s change the subject. What have you two been up to?”

“Why don’t we get inside and warm up and then we can chat? Where do you want to eat?” My mom is shivering even though she’s wearing more clothes than an Eskimo.

“I know just the place. Follow me.” I link arms with her and head down the street, my dad trailing behind enjoying the festive atmosphere.

Lunch is amazing. Eden is my favorite bistro in the city, and at this time of year, they have the best festive treats in town. We sit for hours chatting and planning our time together over the holidays. They fill me in on their latest project which will take them back to the Middle East in the New Year. I worry about them when they travel to dangerous parts of the world, but I’ve given up trying to talk them out of it. They believe it’s what they were called to do, and nothing I say will change that. Mom quizzes me about my non-existent love life, and Dad looks on with a disapproving frown as always. He wants me to find someone to share my life with, but at the same time, the thought of me dating still makes him want to punch something! He’s a walking oxymoron.

When we’re full and ready to burst, I ask for the check and sit back to wait patiently, content and happy to be away from work for a while. My guard is down, and I am finally relaxed and distracted… when the man I’ve been trying to forget for the past two weeks catches my eye. The feelings he invokes physically wind me as if I’ve been slammed up against a brick wall. My parents immediately notice the change in my demeanor.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

I try and fail to cover my reaction. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I just thought I saw someone I know, that’s all.” I glance back to where he was standing, but he’s gone. “I must have been mistaken.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” The concern etched on my dad’s furrowed brow makes my heart hurt. I don’t usually keep things from him, but I wouldn’t even know where to start with this. It’s not something you can talk to your dad about.

“Yeah.” My breath hitches. “I’m…” There he is. Across the room, sitting at a table with his gaze fixed on me, those violet eyes burning into my soul. When my eyes find his, I see shock and confusion flash across his face, realization dawning that I’m looking straight at him. Did he think he could go unnoticed somewhere like this? Does he think he could go unnoticed anywhere? “Excuse me a minute.”

I stand from the table and walk toward the back of the restaurant, my eyes locked on his, the growing look of horror on his face giving me cause for concern. I hear my dad’s voice in the background telling me to come back. The urgency in his voice is strange, but I can’t tear my gaze from Lux. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak, he simply watches as I pull out the chair across from him and sit down. The silence between us is palpable, an eternity passing before he finally speaks.

“Can I help you?”

“Seriously?”

“Excuse me?” He’s acting as if he has no idea who I am. What the hell?

“I thought you had more class than that, Lux. You save me, stalk me, kiss me, and then disappear with promises to call. You were like a ghost… gone without a trace. You didn’t think I deserved your respect?”

I see a flash of hurt in his eyes. “Sirena…”

“Oh! You remember who I am now?” He opens his mouth to speak, but I shut him down. “Save it, Lux. I get it. You were scared off by a woman who doesn’t have time for bullshit. I’m not ashamed of my sexual appetite. I thought we had a connection. I guess I was wrong.” I turn to leave, every atom in my body fighting me to stay—desperate to keep this unique sensation that takes over every time he is around.

“Wait!” His hand wraps around my wrist sending a shiver down my spine. “Please don’t go.”

I turn to face him. “I don’t give second chances, and you wasted your only one. Goodbye.”

He pulls me back down into the chair. “I know I don’t deserve a chance, but I want one anyway. You make me do things, things I never thought I’d do. I can’t think straight when I’m around you, but I want to get to know you. I feel it.” I turn my eyes to his. “I feel the tangible connection between us. The electrically-charged adrenaline that courses through my body when you’re within ten feet of me. I feel that unexplainable trust and the need to know you.” His honesty floors me.

“Take your hand off of my daughter.” My dad is towering behind me. “Are you okay, Sirena?” I watch tentatively as some unspoken discussion takes place between Lux and my father. Both of them poised for a fight, and I know I need to interject.

“I’m fine, Dad. This is my friend, Lux. Lux, this is my dad, Gabriel Sovende.”

They stare each other down for the longest time before Lux breaks the silence. “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Sovende.”

“Likewise, Mr.…”

“Zonder. Lux Zonder.”

“Ah, yes.” They exchange a knowing look. It’s as if they are familiar with each other, but that’s impossible. I’ll need to ask my dad later. “Well, I think it’s time we get going. Don’t you think so, Sirena?”

“I guess…”

My mom appears. “And who is this strapping young man?”

Lux stands to offer his hand. “Lux Zonder. A pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Sovende.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” She gives me a huge smile. Subtlety is not her forte.

Thankfully, she turns her attention to my dad. “Why don’t we go pick out some Christmas gifts and let these two catch up? We can meet up later for dinner back at your place, Sirena.”

“Please, don’t change your plans on my account.”

“Nonsense. We have things to do. You two catch up. In fact, why don’t you come over for dinner with us later, and we can get to know you properly?”

“I couldn’t impose on your family weekend.”

I interrupt. “Mom! Don’t force him. He probably already has plans.”

“Plans are made to be changed, sweetheart.”

She turns to Lux. “Say you’ll come.” My dad is furious. It’s written all over his face.

“I’ll try to change my plans and let Sirena know. Thank you so much for the offer.”

My mom leans close to my ear and whispers, “Make sure that boy comes to dinner. He’s gorgeous and so polite.”

“Now come on, dear. Let’s leave these two and go have some fun of our own.” As she drags him away, she turns her head and gives me a wink. She’s so funny, but she has no tact!

I sit back down at the table embarrassed by my mom’s overenthusiasm and my dad’s obvious dislike for the man sitting across from me. “Sorry about them.” The sound of his laughter is music to my ears.

“Your mom is awesome. Your dad hates my guts.”

“Why would you say that?” It was clear as day, but what I want to know is why. There was something going on between the two of them.

“He just understands your worth. You’re his angel, and he knows I’m not worthy of you.” I can feel the blush spreading across my cheeks.

“Do you want to get out of here? We could go for a walk or a coffee somewhere else?”

“A walk sounds good. Follow me, and I’ll show you my second favorite place in the city.” He grabs my hand and pulls me through the tables and out into the fresh air.

“Second? Why not the first?”

The sly grin on his face is quite delicious. “Maybe one day.”

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me close to his side as if the past two weeks never happened. I must admit, it feels good. It feels amazing. The feminist inside of me is screaming for me to stand up for myself and demand answers if I’m going to give this guy a second chance, but I’m so tired of being that person all the time—the intelligent one that weighs and overthinks every decision. Men have always been a source of sexual pleasure for me—nothing more. And I’ve been happy with that, until now. I didn’t know any different. I didn’t think any man could break through my walls and affect me. Then, I met him, and everything I thought I knew about myself started to morph and change into something new. Not a weaker version of myself, but the exact opposite. I feel empowered when I’m around him. His mere presence sparks a fire inside of me that makes me believe I can do anything and be anything I want to be—no restrictions, no rules, and no expectations. I wrap my arm around his waist and fall into step as we weave through the crowded streets letting him take me wherever he wants to go.

When we reach our destination, Lux slows down our pace taking his arm from my shoulder and placing his hand in mine. “We’re here.”

I look around disconcerted by our surroundings. I didn’t realize we’d walked so far. I couldn’t even tell you what route we took to get here. I was so lost in the companionable silence and comfort of his arms to notice anyone or anything around us.

The sight before me is simply breathtaking—the Japanese Tea Gardens. It’s almost completely deserted which is unusual, but I figure most people are over at the Christmas market today. The gentle trickle of water flowing over pebbles is a soothing balm to the nerves that have erupted in my stomach. Lux leads me into the center of the gardens to a bench with a stunning panoramic view of this most enchanting place. It’s not somewhere I’ve ever come to visit. I always say that I’ll make time, but work inevitably gets in the way.

“Wow. This place is… wow.”

My surroundings are only overshadowed by the smoldering grin directed at me right now. “I know. I’ve never found the right words to describe this place either.”

“If this is your second favorite place in the city, what is number one? I can’t imagine anywhere being more beautiful than this.”

“I’ll show you one day, but it will have to stay a surprise until then.”

“Yet another mystery to add to my list.”

“Can’t be as long as my list.”

“What do you want to know? I’m an open book.”

He looks me up and down, carefully choosing his words. “How did you know it was me at Eden today?”

“Really? You’re going to waste a question on that?”

“Humor me.”

“Okay… because I have eyes. You’re pretty distinctive, Lux. I’m not sure anyone who sets eyes on you could forget who you are.” He looks shocked by my admission. “Don’t tell me you don’t know how hot you are? Because I wouldn’t believe you. You can’t be that clueless.”

He takes a moment to process as if my words are a foreign language—something he’s never heard before. “What do I look like to you?”

“Seriously? How big is your ego? You need me to massage it for you some more?”

He looks embarrassed. “No. That’s not it at all. I don’t know how to explain. Do you remember what happened the first time you said my name at the gallery?”

“It was right before I had my seizure.”

“And do you remember how you felt before you even knew I was there at your office?”

How does he know that? “It was as if I could sense you. I knew you were coming. I get the same feeling every time I’m near you.”

I’m about to ask him how he knew that, but he throws another question my way, and it completely throws me. “Do you know what happened to your eyes in the gallery? And when we kissed two weeks ago?”

“My eyes? It was your eyes that concerned me.”

He takes my hands, his gaze entreating me to listen carefully. “I’m not asking this out of ego, but I need you to tell me what I look like through your eyes. Please.”

He seems so earnest with no hint of narcissism in his voice, and I find myself eager to ease his anguish. “You look like you’re carved from the finest marble. Handcrafted by the Gods.”

“I’m flattered, but I mean specifics. What color is my hair? Stuff like that.”

This is flat out the strangest conversation I’ve had with any man. His sense of urgency unsettles me. “You have dirty blond hair styled in a way that makes every woman who sees you want to run her fingers through it. A ‘just fucked’ look that is beyond sexy.” I see a hint of a smile on his face as I continue. “You are easily the tallest man I’ve ever seen, and yet you’re so well-proportioned that it doesn’t come across as your defining feature.”

“How tall am I?”

“I don’t know. Shouldn’t you be able to answer that question yourself? I would guess around six-foot-seven inches.” He can’t hide the shock on his face. I don’t understand anything that’s going on right now, but I continue anyway. “You have the body of a God sculpted to perfection under that t-shirt. You have the sexiest forearms and hands of any man I’ve ever know.”

“Hands? Seriously?”

“God, yes! Every time I look at your hands I think so many dirty thoughts of what you could do to my body with them. How you could make it sing.”

“You have no idea.”

Now it’s me that’s smiling. “Your jaw is chiseled but not too big, and the scruff covering it is lickable.”

“You’re making me hard. Stick to the facts.”

I’ve never been chastised for turning a guy on before. “Sorry for blowing smoke up your ass! Okay… well, I guess your major defining feature, the thing about you that is most unique… is your eyes.”

“My eyes?”

He’s fishing now. He looks worried. “They’re the most stunning color I’ve ever seen… violet.”

He jumps back. “Holy fuck!”

“What’s wrong?”

“You can see that my eyes are violet?”

“Yes. They are so gorgeous. I could get lost in them. Do you wear contacts or is that your real color?”

“Real.” He seems flustered.

“Lux. What’s going on? You’re starting to scare me. And when we kissed…”

“What?”

“This is going to sound crazy, but your eyes started to glow.”

“Holy fucking shit!”

I step toward him gently placing my hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong? I don’t understand what’s happening between us.”

He spins around grabbing me with both hands. “Neither do I. I’ve never met anyone who affects me the way you do.”

“I feel the same way.” He looks like he’s in pain at the sound of my words. “Talk to me, Lux. What’s going on? Why all these questions? Why do I feel your presence before I know you’re there? Why do your eyes glow when we kiss?”

“Sirena…” He snaps his head to the entrance of the gardens, his eyes wide, his body tense as if readying himself for a fight. “We need to go… now.”

“What?”

“We’re being followed.” Okay, now I’m freaking out.

“Why would someone be following us? Who are you?”

“Do you trust me, Sirena? Think about it. I know you don’t know me that well, but in your heart, do you trust me?”

I don’t need time to think. I already know the answer. Unequivocally. “Yes.”

“I promise you I will explain everything, but we need to go.” He scoops me into his arms as if I weigh nothing, my body vibrating at the contact. “Hold on tight.” I wrap my arms up around his neck and bury my face against his chest instinctively closing my eyes.

I can’t describe how I feel. There’s no noise. The soothing sounds of the Japanese waterfalls have disappeared. I can no longer feel the cool bite in the air around me or hear the leaves dancing in the wind. There is an absence of everything except him. With my head firmly against his chest, I realize I don’t hear his heart beating. Panic starts to rise in my chest. I have no idea what is going on, and for the first time in my life, I feel real tangible fear.

“You can open your eyes now, Sirena.”

I’m scared. The new sounds and smells around me are nothing like the Japanese gardens of only moments ago. I reluctantly open my eyes slowly, terror building inside of me as I take in my new surroundings. How can this be? This goes against everything I believe in, or don’t believe in. I immediately try to struggle fighting to get out of his arms.

“Calm down, Sirena. You’re safe here.” Is he fucking kidding me?

“Let me go!”

He tightens his hold on me. “Please calm down. I told you I’ll explain everything.”

“Put me down right fucking now!” He does as I ask, his movements slow and precise as if I’m a lame animal, fragile and skittish.

“Sirena. Take a deep breath.” Is he serious?

“A DEEP BREATH? A FUCKING DEEP BREATH? How are you going to explain this, Lux? This is impossible. IMPOSSIBLE!”

“I know this is hard, but please give me a chance.”

“No! Not hearing from you for weeks I can handle. Weird questions I can handle. Strange glowing eyes and sensing you from afar, I can almost get my head around. BUT THIS? THIS is fucked up. Who the hell are you? WHAT are you?” He takes a step toward me. “Stay back.”

“Sirena, please. I won’t hurt you.”

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

I look around for an exit, a way to get the hell out of here. My whole body is shaking with fear and disbelief. We were in the Japanese gardens thirty seconds ago… and now… we’re across town in an apartment overlooking the Golden Gate Bridge.