LUXURE

“Fuck!” I leap from the booth where I’ve been sitting for the past hour with Cole and Kade, talking over what to do next.

“What’s wrong?” Cole is instantly concerned.

“I just felt Sirena disappear.”

“I thought you weren’t supposed to sense her in case you draw attention to our whereabouts?”

“That’s true if I actively sense her. This feeling his different. Lately, if she’s close by I can feel her energy, as if it’s somehow attached to my own. It’s constant… but it just stopped.”

Kade is by my side in seconds. “What about Selma? They’re together.”

“I don’t know. Shit! I knew I shouldn’t have let them go off on their own. We need to go and find them… now!”

I throw some cash on the table and head out the door. Kade and Cole make their way over to the motel to grab a car, but I can’t wait that long. I make the jump to the closest town. There’s nothing and no one here. Cole appears moments later, followed by Kade. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get us all killed?”

“I don’t have time to worry about that. I need to find Sirena.”

“You can’t track her, it would be suicide. We’ll track Selma, and hopefully, she’ll lead us to Sirena.”

“Hopefully? What the fuck? If I can’t feel her, then there are only two possibilities. One is that she left and is too far away for me to feel her connection, or… she’s dead. That can’t fucking happen. I just found her.”

“Selma wouldn’t let anything happen to her. She kept your sorry ass alive for a thousand years.” Kade seems so sure of himself.

Cole is busy walking the streets, but I don’t know what he’s looking for—a sign that the girls were here. He stops next to a bench halfway down the only street in this Podunk town. “They jumped.”

“How the fuck can you know that?”

“A skill I’ve picked up in your absence, brother.” His words unsettle me, but right now I don’t have time to dig deeper.

“Do you know where they went?”

“I can track them. Just give me a few minutes.”

I look to Kade for answers, but he seems as surprised as me. “You’ve been busy, brother.”

Cole ignores us focused solely on what I assume is tracking the girls. Kade and I simply stand and watch unsure of what we’re looking at. After a few long minutes, Cole snaps out of his trance, taking a deep breath, as if he can smell them. He turns to us, a wry smile on his face. “We’re going to L.A.”

I run my hands through my hair in a mixture of frustration and rage. “L.A.? What the fuck were they thinking?”

“Let’s go. We can ask questions later. Take my hand, and I’ll take us directly to them.” Kade and I grab hold of him. The surge of power from the three of us united is a rush I’d all but forgotten. In a flash we’re standing in a dark, dank alley in L.A. I scan the area, a supernatural presence strong in the air. There in the darkest corner, I see her, and relief floods my body before being replaced with sheer anger.

“What the fuck were you thinking? Azazel comes into town, ambushes us, slits Gabe’s throat in front of us before disappearing God knows where, and you decide the best idea is to skip town without telling us? I thought you were better than this, Sel.”

Kade steps between us dropping to his knees and scooping Selma into his arms. “Can’t you see she’s hurt? I don’t think this is the time or the place to start a fight about right and wrong.” He stands, squaring his shoulders, my best friend cradled in his arms. “Move out of my way, Lux.”

“Not until she tells me where Sirena is! Or did you fail to notice that the most important being ever to walk this Earth… is missing!”

Cole steps forward. “She’s not here, and I can’t sense her. It’s as if she’s cloaked herself.”

“She doesn’t have that ability.” Even as I say the words, I begin to question myself. I have no real idea what Sirena is capable of, or what she might be capable of in the future. She changes and evolves with every passing day.

“We don’t know that. Selma is our only chance of finding her without you having to set alarm bells ringing by sensing her, and you’re being a jackass to her!”

“I don’t give a fuck about raising alarms. If I need to do that, it’s what I’ll do.”

Selma lifts her head, her voice quiet and defeated. “She made me promise not to tell you.”

“What the fuck? That shit doesn’t fly with me. We’ve been friends for a millennium, your loyalty should be to me. Where the fuck is she?”

The hurt in her eyes is almost too much for me to handle. “My loyalty to you? What about your loyalty to me, Luxure?” The truth of her words is like a knife to my cold, lifeless heart.

“I love you, Sel. I always will. But…”

“Exactly, BUT.”

“I can’t explain it. She’s connected to me. All of this is connected somehow. You, me, Abi, The Brotherhood, and Sirena. I need to find out what that connection is and what it means.”

Selma knows how much I’ve struggled with my place in the scheme of things, and how I’ve fought against my nature questioning my very existence. She, more than anyone, understands what this thing with Sirena means to me.

Kade shoves past me holding Selma tight to his chest. “We need to get her out of here and rested. You can continue your Spanish Inquisition later.”

“Since when did you run the show, Kade?”

“Since you stopped looking out for your best friend.” He keeps walking forcing me to follow him. “Look at her, Lux, really look at her. She’s in bad shape right now, and you don’t even seem to care.”

I stop in my tracks taking a moment to do just as he says. I take a good, long, hard look at my friend—the woman who kept me alive all this time and who has loved me unconditionally getting nothing in return. She looks exhausted—broken.

I catch up to Kade and stand in front of him. Without a word, I put my hands underneath Selma’s seemingly fragile body and take her into my arms. Kade tries to put up a fight, but I stare him down daring him to challenge me. He thinks twice about it, then falls in step with Cole behind me. Selma curls into me and begins to cry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry. Her cold, hard skin chills me to the core, but I don’t let her see it. My mighty Masuulka warrior is a shadow of her former self in this moment. She needs me, and I need to be here for her. I walk for miles continuing to carry her as if she weighs nothing more than a feather, my mind constantly wandering to Sirena. Where is she? Is she okay? And I know as soon as Selma is well enough to tell me where she is, I’m going to jump to her—fuck the consequences. I know better now. I can get her out of there quick enough to save us both. I won’t make the same mistake I made with Abiteth.

Cole books us into a hotel—one that’s much nicer than our usual haunts. I guess he feels bad for Selma. He hasn’t said a word since we arrived in L.A. which is unlike him. I grab the key for Sel’s room and head for the elevators. I don’t wait for my brothers letting the doors close us in alone. I hold her close whispering in her ear, “I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you, my sweet Masuulka.” She doesn’t answer burrowing further into my chest. I open the door to her room leaving the lights off so as not to startle her. I lay her down and pull the covers up over her slender frame. It’s purely an act of comfort as she doesn’t feel cold or heat, her skin impervious to anything so basic as temperature. I kiss her forehead. “Rest, my friend.”

As I pull back, she grabs my face and pulls my lips down onto hers. I feel the teardrops on her cheeks, but the moment our lips meet, I stop her. “No, Selma. I’m sorry.”

She doesn’t have the fight to argue with me slumping down into the pillow. “I know. I had to try… just once… before…”

“Before what?” The silence is deafening. Her hesitance is making me uneasy. “Before what, Selma?”

“Before I tell you what I did, and you hate me forever. I had to know what it felt like to kiss you.”

I’m scared to ask. “What did you do?” I’m trying to control the tone of my voice, but I’m anxious and angry and fearful all at once, and it’s a struggle to contain it.

When she finally speaks, I can’t believe my ears. “I helped her jump. I was trying to get her to San Francisco to see her mom. I can’t jump like you, but she knew you’d never take her.”

I start pacing the room suppressing the urge to pick her up and shake her like a ragdoll. “What the fuck were you thinking? You know either the Vollstrecker or the Guardians will be there waiting for her. Or was that your angle? She’ll die, and you think I’ll turn to you for comfort?”

“No! I just want you to stay alive. If you’re with her, that won’t happen.”

“How could you be so damn selfish, Sel? I thought you were better than that.”

“It wasn’t my idea. It was hers. She wanted to sacrifice herself to ensure your survival. She loves you enough to die for you.”

Every word from her mouth makes me ache for Sirena. “That wasn’t her decision to make. This is bigger than her… or me… or both of us together. We need to discover the truth. I won’t let her die for me.”

“But if the rest of us die along the way, then it’s collateral damage?”

“No!” I punch the wall in frustration. “I would never let anything happen to you or my brothers.”

“You didn’t give a shit about any of them all these years. What’s changed?”

“I have. I was being selfish. I need to restore The Brotherhood and take back what’s mine, and I need Sirena by my side to do that, so tell me where she is now.”

“She left me here to recover and went to rent a car. She’s driving the rest of the way. She won’t be long out of town, but if you don’t want to alert every supernatural being to her whereabouts, then you need to let her make her way to San Francisco and meet her there.”

“No way. She could be attacked on the way.”

“If you go to her now, you will ensure an attack. She’s off the radar for now. Please trust me. Go to San Francisco and wait for her.”

How can she say that? “Trust you? After you sent her off to die?”

“Luxure, your safety has been my number one priority for close to a thousand years. I see now that your survival is tied to hers somehow. If I thought she was in danger, I would tell you to sense her and go straight away. I made a mistake with the best intentions.” She slowly stands and makes her way over to where I’m pacing at the window. Her movements are tentative and labored. I can see it took a lot out of her to make the jump. She knew it would happen, and she did it anyway. She also must have known there was a chance that the Vollstrecker would sense her jump, and she wouldn’t be strong enough to defend herself. I pull her into my arms. “Please, Luxure, please trust me. I think I’ve earned it over the years.”

“Okay. I’ll go to San Francisco and find her mom before she does. As soon as she arrives, I’ll have to go underground with her. It’s too dangerous for all of you. I’ll be in touch when I can, but it might be a while.”

She wraps her arms around me, holding me tight. “Stay alive, my friend.”

“I will. Cole and Kade will be watching over you. Let them.”

“I will.” Her words echo in my ears as I jump leaving her arms empty in the darkness of the hotel room. I know Cole will sense my jump and come to check on her. He’ll do what is right.

* * *

The wait is killing me. Everything inside of me is screaming to go and get my girl, but instead, I’m standing outside of her mom’s house hidden from view, waiting for her to arrive safely. Having so much time to think is not a great thing for me—ever. Sitting here alone in the silence, I can’t stop thinking about Sirena and the fact she left me. She feels what I feel when we’re together. She can’t fake or deny it. How could she leave knowing she would end up dead? Didn’t she stop to think how it would affect me? I know she was her usual self—amazingly self-sacrificing—but from my point of view it’s extremely selfish of her to die ‘saving the world.’ The world can go fuck itself when it comes to Sirena. She’s mine, and I will protect what’s mine. I don’t give a fuck about the collateral damage.

The real problem is the fact that when I think about Sirena for any length of time, I start to question everything over and over again. I know I’m selfish, it’s always been something I’m proud of. I do what I want when I want, and I don’t make apologies for it because it’s who I was born to be. The mere existence of Sirena makes who I am… a complete fraud. I’m evil because I want to be, not because I was born this way, or because the big bad Almighty decided it for me. It turns out I chose not to rage against my nature. I wasn’t strong enough to do that, but Sirena was. She is stronger than anyone else in existence and not just for her choice to be human, but for her decision to die to save me and everyone else. There is no more selfless act than to die for someone you love. I know this to be true from many thousands of years observing humanity. Their lives are fleeting and finite. To give it up for someone else is the ultimate act of sacrifice. Knowing that Sirena is willing to do that for me, makes me hate myself… and makes me love her more than ever.

I’ve been sitting here watching everyone who walks by making sure I’ve not been tailed. As far as I can tell, Sirena’s mom is safe for now. When a car finally pulls up outside the house, and Sirena steps out, a wave of relief washes over me. Her eyes find mine in an instant. I couldn’t hide from her even if I tried. My body is vibrating just at her mere proximity. I emerge from the shadows. “Sirena.” My heart melts at the sound of her name on my lips. This is no time for the anger I felt only moments ago.

“Luxure. Why are you here?” She turns her gaze from me mumbling under her breath. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Selma to keep her mouth shut.”

“Are you serious? Did you think I would let you sacrifice yourself for me?”

“It’s not your choice to make. This is my life and my decision.”

I grab her arms and force her to look at me. “How can you say that? Don’t you feel this connection?” She shies away from my knowing gaze. “You can’t deny it. Yet you were willing to die and for what? Do you have any idea what your death would do to me?”

“You survived Abi’s death… you’ll survive mine.”

“No, I fucking won’t! You just don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

I forget about the fact that I’m supposed to be discreet standing in the middle of the street. “That I’m fucking head over heels insanely in love with you. Abi never held a candle to what I feel for you. Our connection is the stuff of legends. When are you going to realize that you are a part of me?” My lips crash down on hers in a desperate kiss. I need her to feel how I feel. When I pull back, her heart is racing, her breathing erratic. “If you die… the best part of me will die with you.”

She showers me with kisses—my lips, my face, my neck. “I didn’t want to leave you. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But, I couldn’t watch you die like my dad. His face haunts my dreams. His death was my fault, and I can’t have any more blood on my hands.”

“Gabriel’s death was not your fault. You have to believe me. The man that… killed him… his name is Azazel. He’s one of my biggest foes. He killed Gabriel because he could see how much you mean to me. He hurts you, he hurts me. I’m so sorry.” She stays in my arms for the longest time holding on for dear life. I have no words to explain how sorry I am for the death of her father. He wasn’t my favorite person, but he kept her safe until the very end. I admire him for that.

When she finally speaks, her pain is unbearable. “I have to tell my mom he’s gone. How do I do that?” Her eyes fill with tears at the very thought.

“Do you want me to come with you?” She slowly nods as I wipe away her tears. If only I could wipe away her pain so easily.

She takes a moment to compose herself before we make our way up the front steps of her mom’s house. She can’t bring herself to ring the doorbell, so I hold her close and knock on the door. It’s as if she was waiting for us, the door opening almost instantly. “Sirena! Darling, I’m so happy to see you.” She pulls her daughter into her arms as only a mother can. Sirena bursts into tears, her pent-up grief flooding out, raw and unbridled. “What’s wrong? Let’s get you inside.” She ushers us in closing the door behind us. I can feel her apprehension, but she hides it well.

I take a seat across from Sirena and her mother giving them some space to be together… before everything changes. I watch them carefully, the bond between them so pure and good. She waits patiently for her daughter to calm herself rubbing her back and holding her close to her heart. “Speak to me, sweetheart. You seem to have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Tell your momma.”

When Sirena opens her mouth, I’m surprised by the words she speaks. “But you’re not my mom, are you?” Her mom’s face is one of absolute heartbreak. “Dad told me everything.”

“Sirena…” She takes her daughter’s hands in hers shaking with fear and apprehension.

“It’s okay, Mom. You may not have given birth to me, but you’re all I’ve ever known. You and Dad loved me, not because you had to, but because you wanted to. There’s no greater gift you could ever have given me.”

Tears fall from her mom’s eyes slowly dripping down her cheeks. “I love you so much. We both do.”

Sirena’s head drops at the mention of her father. “Mom, I have something to tell you.”

“Okay.” Trepidation is evident in her voice. She’s been waiting for this day since she met Gabriel and found out who he was.

“He… he came to help me. As far as I know, that’s been his ‘job’ since the day I was born. We were ambushed by some very bad people.” Sirena’s voice breaks, and she struggles to continue. “He fought bravely to keep me safe, but he…” She can’t even look at her mom as she says the words. “He didn’t make it.”

Mrs. Sovende stands from the couch pacing the room. Deep down she knows it’s true, but I can see her fighting it so fiercely, desperate to hold on to the man she loved. “No. He’s immortal. You’re wrong. He can’t die. He’s just laying low for a while. It’s happened before. Don’t you worry. He’s okay. I know it.”

“He stopped being immortal when he chose to give me a mother—when he chose you. He loved you enough to give up his immortality.”

She looks to me for confirmation. “She’s right. Gabriel was a mighty warrior and a respected Archangel. He loved you and Sirena so much, he sacrificed that life for one with both of you. He died defending what he loved—his daughter. He was courageous even in death.”

They both scream out in pain finding each other’s arms again before falling to the floor in a heap, together and yet so very alone in their grief. Sirena’s broken heart overwhelms me. I’ve never experienced such intense desolation in all my years on this Earth. I need to let them do this on their own when everything inside me wants to scoop Sirena into my arms and hold her until she can breathe again. All I can do is sit back and watch—helpless.

“I’m so sorry, Mom. It was my fault.”

She takes Sirena’s face in her hands. “It was not your fault, sweetheart. Your dad loved you so much. He died knowing you were safe. That’s all he ever wanted for you. You need to remember that. Guilt that’s not yours to bear will kill you. Don’t let your dad’s death be in vain. You fight to stay alive, you hear me?”

“I don’t have any fight left. I can’t let anyone else die for me.”

“Then you fight for them and for you. I raised a strong, fierce woman. You were born for greatness, Sirena. Your dad never told me the full story, but I’ve always known you’re destined for so much more than this world.” Sirena breaks down, her mother’s unconditional love too overwhelming to bear in the face of her father’s death.

It’s then that her mother looks to me. “I know you’re not of this world. I’ve learned to recognize it over the years.” She beckons to me to take Sirena into my arms. “You take care of my baby girl no matter what. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Then get her out of here before they come.”

“We need to get you somewhere safe, Mrs. Sovende.”

“Please, call me Gilda.”

“We need to move quickly… Gilda.”

“I think we’re already too late, Luxure. They’ve been watching me for days waiting for Sirena to come. You need to take her and go. Now.”

Sirena suppresses her grief—the strong woman I love fighting her way to the surface. “I’m not leaving you, Mom. You told me to fight to save those I love, and that includes you.”

“Sweetheart, I’m human. I don’t stand a chance, and without your father, my job is done. You’re ready to change the world.”

“No!”

“Lux, take her.” I can hear the Guardians outside ready to pounce at any second. If it was the Vollstrecker, we could stay and fight, but I’m sorely outnumbered, and the last time that happened, I was lucky to leave with my life. I won’t risk Sirena. The doors begin to shake with the celestial power that surrounds this house—once a home to a happy family, now destroyed. “Take her now!”

I grab hold of Sirena and Gilda. I’m strong enough to jump all of us out of here to Cole and Kade. Kade can jump them to safety and Cole can stand and fight with me. Together we’ll stand a chance of fighting off the Guardians. Sirena’s whole body is shaking, her hand violently thrashing against mine. I have to fight to hold on garnering all of my strength as the doors fly open, and the Guardians descend.

Sirena’s tattoos begin to emanate the brightest light, and as I hold onto her with everything I have, my tattoos start to glow. It’s blinding even through our clothes. The energy builds between us threatening to erupt at any second. Her eyes are on fire—the darkest red I’ve ever seen them. Her fear and anger are a physical force field around us. I try to focus on her heartbeat frantic to find the calm I need to get us out of here.

Just as I’m ready to jump, Sirena locks eyes with one of the Guardians, and a wave of energy pours forth from us like a sonic boom blasting everything and everyone around us, knocking them clear across the room, including Gilda. I need to get to her, but I can’t loosen Sirena’s grasp. I can’t tell if she’s lucid, her rage is a tidal wave engulfing her in its midst. I shout to Gilda to get up and grab onto me. I can’t wait too much longer before Sirena drains me of the strength I need to get us to safety.

Gilda looks around us as the Guardians are closing in again. She finds me in the chaos, her words a mere whisper. “Go, now! Save my daughter from those that would harm her, and most importantly, from herself.”

I feel myself weaken as Sirena throws out another blast of energy. The walls of the house around us are beginning to crumble. It’s now or never. I glance to Gilda one last time, asking her forgiveness. She smiles, nods… and then we’re gone.

The silence is unbearable as we jump to where my brothers are waiting for news from me. When we appear in Kade’s room, he and Cole are ready to fight sensing something supernatural. Sirena is limp in my arms, the force of her power is too much to handle.

“What the fuck?” Cole takes her from my arms, my limbs shaking under the strain.

“The Guardians. She had some strange power surge and drained me of my strength.” Both he and Kade look shocked. We’ve never seen anything like this before. “Kade, get her and Selma out of here. You need to jump around until you are sure you’re not being followed.” He goes to work taking Sirena from Cole and then making his way over to Selma resting in the bedroom. I take one long, last look at the woman I love praying to a God who doesn’t care to listen to me to keep her safe.

When she’s out of sight, I turn my attention to Cole. “The Guardians will certainly follow me. Will you stand and fight with me, brother? I don’t have the strength to do it alone.”

He holds out his hand. “It would be my pleasure.” I take his hand, feeling my strength return, the power that we share together getting stronger. “Let’s kill these arrogant, holier-than-thou assholes.” We stand firm ready to fight for our lives. And for me, I’m ready to avenge the woman who sacrificed herself to save her daughter—Gilda Sovende.

When they come, we’re ready for them. We show no mercy striking down every one of them until there is nothing left but a pool of white celestial blood and a heap of dismembered limbs. We are savage in our victory tearing the wings from every angel before setting them alight.

I have unleashed the darkest part of myself in defense of the woman I love, and I will stop at nothing to ensure her safety. I no longer lust for carnal pleasures but for blood—the blood of anyone who threatens Sirena’s life.