Chapter Twenty-Four
Javier greets me at the door like we’re old friends. “Glad you could finally make it in, Katie.” He smiles, revealing bright-white teeth. “I hear you’ve got a killer left hook.”
“Thanks.” I set my bag on the bench like always and take out my wraps and gloves just like I used to, but only a shadow of me is here. The rest of me is drifting across the mats, peering behind bags and around corners, searching for Ryan. Maybe he’s in the locker room, putting on a fresh shirt before his next client.
Javier watches as I unpack, tapping his foot. “Let’s get your warm-up going. Start with ten bear crawls across the mat—each way counts as one—and we’ll follow that up with the duck walk.”
I start to tell him that Ryan typically has me do animal walks as part of my conditioning, not my warm-up, but it doesn’t matter. A new trainer means new things. I swallow back the lump of sorrow and begin crossing the mats like a bear.
When I finish the first lap close to the mirrors, I sneak an upward glance. There’s Ryan, standing by the cubbies with his client. He’s wearing his “Fit Happens” T-shirt. Flipping a turn, I crawl in his direction, wishing I could channel an actual bear and growl at the envy that’s clinging to me.
As I inch closer, I can see his client has a brownish pixie cut with blond tips. She wears an oversize Aerosmith concert T-shirt with shiny hot-pink exercise leggings. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s in her early thirties. She could be anyone—someone in front of me in line at Starbucks, someone I pass on the sidewalk outside my building, someone I’d barely give a second glance. But now that she has Ryan’s undivided attention, she’s fascinating. Does he like her blond tips? Have they had a conversation about their favorite Aerosmith songs? Maybe he thinks she’s really cool for wearing a concert shirt.
Before I reach the end of the mat, I make a turn. There’s no way I can land next to them. Javier is talking to Jasmine, so it’s not like he’ll catch me cheating. When I reach the far wall again, Ryan and his client are heading to the treadmills. I wish I could trade places with her. Will he ask her about her day and listen with interest? I study them, watching for signs that they’re having a little too much fun. As if feeling the pull of my stare, he flicks a look in my direction. It does crazy things to my pulse, leaving me breathless. Our eyes lock, but I force myself to look away before I devour him with my gaze. Turning back to the mat, I plod along like a good little bear.
By the time I finish my laps, I’m exhausted. Javier stands next to me, watching as I wrap my left hand. When I move to the right, he takes the wrap impatiently. “I’ll do this one.” He stretches the fabric through my fingers and across my knuckles with the efficiency of a nurse swaddling a baby. It almost feels like he’s timing himself.
After my gloves are on, he holds up his pads. “I want to see you do just the jab. Keep your arms up and eyes on the target.” His eyes are so dark it’s nearly impossible to see his pupils. “Go.”
As I do the punch, it strikes me that we’re completely invading each other’s personal space. Punching feels good, because it creates space. Funny how I never noticed the close proximity with Ryan. I was too caught up in breathing his air. Javier nods as I finish and has me do it again, reminding me to punch with the first two knuckles. “You’re doing great. Ryan’s taught you well.”
“Thanks.” I want to ask if they trade off clients regularly, but something won’t let me. Ryan’s right there across the mats, wrapping Ms. Concert Shirt’s hands. Does she like the feel of his touch, so gentle compared to the tugging and pulling I just experienced? I want to think he was extra careful with me, but it was probably just something I created in my mind to fit my own desires.
“Get your hands up. Watch for which pad I hold up. If it’s my left, give me a jab, and if it’s my right, a cross. Got it?”
“Yeah.”
“If I leave it up, you’ll do a double.”
When he holds up his right pad, I throw my shoulder into the punch and fire a cross at him.
“Damn, girl. Fists of fury. I like it.”
Well good, because every time I look at Ryan I feel a little fury. No, not fury. If I’m being honest, I want to rip off my gloves and rush into his arms. I want him to hug me and kiss me and push the hair from my face so he can look into my eyes and ugh! It’s all too hard. Javier holds up his pad again, and I connect with the center of it. Again and again I punch. I hope Ryan looks over here and sees how great I’m doing. Will he wish he was holding the pads, or is he breathing a sigh of relief that he’s rid of me?
Javier pats my shoulder after my last squat jump. “Nicely done. You should come to one of my classes. I think you’d do great. Do you have the schedule?”
“I do, thanks.”
“Cool. I’ve gotta run, but I’ll text you to set up another training session. And go talk to Jasmine. She wanted me to send you her way when we finished.”
Oh, man. What if Ryan told her we kissed? She gives me a pensive look when I reach her desk. “You’ll never guess what happened.”
“What?”
“Roland was waiting for me outside the smoothie place where I always get my lunch. He got all weepy and started asking why I was trying to hurt him.”
Any thoughts of jealousy vanish, replaced by concern. “Oh my God. What’d you do?”
“Hauled ass back to the gym and called 911. He followed and was begging for me to talk to him. The police showed up in minutes.”
“Did they arrest him?”
She nods. “They found a knife strapped to his leg. And when they searched his car, they found a bag with zip ties and duct tape.”
My breath catches in my throat. “Are you serious? You must’ve been terrified.”
“It happened so fast I didn’t have time to really think about it. I convinced myself the stuff in the bag wasn’t for me, but in my heart, I know it was.”
I pull her into a hug. “I’m so sorry that happened, but I’m glad you’re okay.” I step back. “You’ll have to testify against him in court.”
“I know. But it’s going to be okay. The police have been so helpful. And I have a ton of support here. These guys are my family.”
“I’m here, too, if you need anything. I’ve started volunteering at a place that helps victims. By the time you go to court, I’ll have all the info we need.”
“You’re gonna make me cry. Seriously, you’ve been amazing. Thank you. And Ryan’s been so awesome, too. I guess I don’t have to tell you that.”
No, you really don’t. “You’re welcome.” As I walk to the cubbies, it chills me to think the outcome could’ve been drastically different. If she hadn’t run, or if he hadn’t followed her, allowing the police to catch him…but it turned out okay. I shouldn’t worry about what didn’t happen. But how many women are out there just like Jasmine? What if they’re scared and don’t know where to go? I want to help them all. Gran’s face makes a hazy appearance in my mind, telling me about dreams: Gather them in your heart and save them, she says. The most important ones will stay with you, pounding along with the beat of your heart until you act on them.
You were right, Gran. My need to help has never left my heart.
Ryan and his client pace across the mats, talking quietly as I gather my things. I strain to hear what they say, not because I’m eavesdropping but because I need a distraction from thinking about Gran before I get all emotional. Well, maybe eavesdropping.
I shoulder my bag and head for the cubbies as Ryan taps a high five and then bumps her knuckles. I’ve never gotten the knuckles. The need to run is strong, but I linger until they reach the cubbies. “Hey.”
“Hey, Katie. How’d it go with Javier?” His voice is soft, intimate. It makes me angry. He shouldn’t be allowed to be so alluring.
“Good. He’s very thorough.” My voice is crisp and businesslike.
Ryan nods, and as if suddenly remembering someone else is with us, he says, “This is Maggie. Maggie, Katie.”
We offer polite hellos, and she breaks into a big grin. “I just love this guy, don’t you? He’ll kick your booty, but it’s worth it. I’ve already lost ten pounds of baby weight that’s stuck with me for…” She grimaces. “Well, my baby’s five now—eek!—so five years. And now it’s flying off.”
“That’s great. Congratulations. Uh, I’d better run. Bye.” I can’t escape fast enough. She just loves him? Really?
As I push open the door, Ryan appears, using a hand to hold it for me. He pauses against the glass, and I take a step back, not wanting to get too close to him. Because if I took a few steps closer, I’d be able to breathe in his oceany scent. My hand might brush his chest. I risk a look at him. His eyes beam into mine. “Do you want to go for a run on Saturday?”
“Thanks, but I can’t. I have a friend coming to stay with me.” My nerves are steel, but it has to be that way. I won’t invite in any more pain.
He brushes his hand across his chest. “Oh.”
Maggie glides over, her wrapped hand held high with a trail of pink streaming to the floor. “Ry! I need some help. I’m stuck.” She waves her hand. “See? It’s a mess.”
“Yeah. Sure.” He flicks his eyes back to mine, and his jaw twitches as though he has something more to say, but I rush through the door.