Backing away from the door, I closed it so gingerly that you’d think there was a bomb about to explode instead of an adorable three-year-old girl.

No one ever told me that dealing with a toddler was like deciding whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. If I put in a Disney movie, depending on which one, would she get more tired and settle down or would it amp her up? Would an Oreo give her a sugar high, or were strawberry fruit snacks the way to go? When she asked for a bedtime story, which one put her to sleep and which had her pleading for another story?

I was literally more exhausted than I’d ever been in my life, tiredness seeped into the marrow of my bones, and I had no idea how Samantha did this every day. If anything, it made me want to kiss her entire body in worship. If I was able to get up off this couch without my muscles protesting.

It had taken me two hours to accomplish everything that I knew Samantha would have done in about half an hour. I picked Lennon up, answered her fifty questions in the car, got her into the apartment while juggling bags of her things, chased her around trying to get her changed and settled, and then finagled with her to finally fall asleep.

I’d just run a marathon, and I felt my eyes drooping as the apartment locks squeaked.

“Hello …” Samantha walked in, her thighs rubbing against the long pencil skirt she wore.

Damn, this was a sight I could get used to coming home to.

“Shhh! Be very, very quiet. There is a child hunting adults,” I whispered in my best Elmer Fudd accent.

“Well, I can see who won this battle.” Her smile is tired but happy, and I want to wrap my hands around her shoulders and squeeze.

Hearing her sigh while I massage her … yeah, that’s what I want right fucking now.

“Hey, I got her to sleep, didn’t I? I’d say I slayed the giant.” I patted myself on the back. Literally.

She set her oversized purse down—what did women carry in there anyway?—and came to sit next to me on the couch.

“Thank you for taking care of her tonight, Jake. Seriously, it’s above and beyond what should be asked of you, and I really appreciate it.”

She leans forward and lightly kisses me, an action I can feel tugging at my balls. It’s a miracle I can think straight around this woman.

“Why do you keep doing that?” I can’t help but be a little bit offended, and I move back on the couch.

It’s a total passive aggressive, looking for a fight move, and I know it. I feel like a wimp, but I don’t like that she discounts me like that.

Samantha sighs, taking her hair out of the clip it was in so that it pools around her shoulders. Momentarily, I’m distracted, because Jesus she is radiant. Even after a tough day at work, she looks like she just stepped off the pages of a Maxim magazine … kind of like the ones I’d hide under my bed when I was fifteen.

“Jake, you said at the beginning that you wanted to take this slow, that you weren’t looking to become a father. I guess I’ve just been trying to respect that.”

“Well, what if I changed my mind?” I know I sound like the three-year-old now.

“You don’t get to change your mind when it comes to a child. You have to be all in, even on the worst days.” Her smile is sympathetic.

I muster up all of my gusto. “I’m here for everything, I want you to know that. I may have said those things in the beginning, but we have gone slow. A date night here, a week of talking and not seeing each other. A couple of hours with Lennon. And do you know what I feel in those moments when I’m not here with you two? I miss you. I miss this. I may not understand the full extent of it, but I haven’t been given the chance to be here for the three years you’ve had with her. I’m allowed to be a little unsure, as I’m sure you are some days too. I do know that I want more, that we should give this a real try. That I want you to count on me, not just come to me in crisis. I’m in this, with you. With her. Give me that chance.”

There is a long pause, the light from the TV changing on our faces as cartoon characters dance across the screen. Samantha’s expression is unreadable, and my heart pounds so much that I’m scared I’ll actually throw the organ up.

“So what, do you want to be my boyfriend, then?” She rolls her eyes, settling back into my arms and ghosting her lips over my neck.

“As a thirty-year-old bachelor, am I too old to be a boyfriend?” I tease her, sliding my hand up under the material of her shirt.

“Hm, I don’t think so. As long as you don’t think that having a twenty-seven-year-old girlfriend is robbing the cradle.”

It was childish, and almost surreal, that my heart jumped when she said the word girlfriend.

I rubbed my hand up and down her back in comforting circles. “I mean, I would also take King of Your Heart, Master of Your Soul, Fetcher of Your Purse. Doesn’t really matter to me, so you settle on which one is best.”

Samantha lets out a low chuckle, one that has me hardening in my pants instantly. “All the above. But just so we’re clear … we’re really doing this? The monogamy thing? Because I don’t take that lightly. You know my past, you know that I want more than just a warm body next to me.”

I stare straight into her eyes, trying to relay my message to the deepest part of her. “I know what you need, and I want to give it to you.”

For a second, we just sit on the couch in the silence, the weight of commitment passing between us.

She breaks it, rubbing my leg over my pants. “And since you want to give me that, I want to give you something too.”

I smile and I can see her eye my dimple.

“Oh don’t get so ahead of yourself, King of my Heart. It’s late, and I want you to stay here if you want to. But you also can’t stay in bed with me … confusion for the kid and all. So to celebrate our first night of monogamy, I invite you to sleep on my couch.”

Her words carried sarcasm, but there was worry mixed in her tone as well. I knew how much this meant, what the stakes were for Samantha. She was letting me in, even if it was a foot halfway into the hallway and not all the way into the proverbial bedroom. It’ll be torture to sleep just feet from her, but she’s giving me a chance, the very thing I asked for.

If I can do this, sleep on her too-small couch overnight, then we’ll wake up in a very different place. For one, I’ll get to make her eggs again. But Samantha will also have to begin to explain and introduce Lennon to the idea of me … and that’s a giant leap for Jake-kind.

“Do I at least get a pillow and a blanket? And maybe a good night blow job?” Gently, I push her back.

My lips meet her neck, sucking and tasting the sweet skin beneath her ear. My hands find her ribs, touch the edges of her lace bra.

“Jake …” She groans, arousal and scolding mixing together in her voice.

“I know, gorgeous, but I’m just showing you what you’ll be missing while you’re lying in that big, empty bed without me.” I was being a taunting prick, but she felt too damn good.

Samantha slides out from under me like a ninja, leaving me very high and very dry.

“And you’ll be out here, sleeping with Lennon’s Dora the Explorer blanket. So don’t be a dirty dog, because Boots sees everything.”

She whispers in my ear before sashaying away, giving me a very nice view. Just when a guy gets a girlfriend, he gets completely cock-blocked.

And honestly, the night squished on the couch in the living room was one of the best in a while.