Chapter Three
Ally’s first single me, happy me day was one of those glorious fall days in Connecticut—a sunny comfortable seventy degrees with a light breeze—made even more glorious by her first inspiring Pilates session under her friend Charlotte’s direction. Fresh from her workout, she drove straight to the sporting goods store for all the things Charlotte recommended and was now the proud owner of a giant inflatable ball, mat, dumbbell hand weights, and a fitness wristband that promised to report her daily number of steps. Goal—10,000 steps a day. She hit the accelerator, eager to get home for a shower and then get some steps in. It was late Sunday morning, so she had the whole day to activate her new fit lifestyle. Preferably outdoors. Fall was her favorite season and she mentally added “spend more time in nature” to her goal list.
Charlotte’s advice to take it “one step at a time” and to “celebrate each small victory” had made the whole process of transformation seem manageable. Of course, she’d meant that in terms of fitness, but Ally took it to heart. She’d be open to new experiences and celebrate positive improvement. Eventually she’d get to a truly happy single butterfly state and that would be a beautiful thing. True contentment—
A police siren went off. Dammit! She checked her rearview mirror, lights flashing right behind her. Not another ticket. She was still paying the points on her insurance for the last one. And the one before that. The police cruiser pulled in tight behind her car. She pulled over, annoyed at the inconvenience that was harshing her newfound mellow.
The officer made his arrogant swaggering way over to her. Didn’t he have anything better to do than pull over innocent citizens going just a teensy bit over the speed limit?
The man peered through the window at her. Ethan! A friendly cop!
She powered down the window and beamed at him. He didn’t return her smile, his hard blue eyes drilling into her. He looked even tougher in uniform—all business, no BS. “Hi, Ethan! I just got back from the most amazing workout and shopping for fitness stuff. All part of the single me, happy me plan.” At his silence, she added, “How’re you?”
“You know why I pulled you over?” he asked with no trace of warmth. It was like he had no memory of last night at the diner when they’d all bared their souls. Well, he hadn’t bared his soul, but she and Cali had. It had been life-changing for her.
“Mmm, teensy bit over the limit?”
“You were going fifty in a thirty zone.”
“Really? Huh.” She worked on looking suitably surprised. “I’m very sorry about that. Won’t happen again.” She smiled, really hoping he’d let her off with a warning.
He remained cop-faced tough. “You put yourself and others in danger when you speed.”
“Won’t happen again. Promise.” She widened her eyes and sent him an urgent telepathic message. Friends don’t give friends expensive tickets.
He didn’t get the message. “License and registration.”
She made a valiant attempt to change the subject while complying with the hard-ass. “Do you enjoy working out?” she asked while she fetched the license and registration from the glove compartment.
“I lift weights, run, hike, and swim.”
She handed him the requested items. “Wow! You’re like a quadrathon athlete.”
He stared at her driver’s license. It wasn’t the most flattering picture. She’d smiled and the guy had told her not to smile, so it had a weird half-frown, half-pursed-lip look. Also, her hair was frizzy from a terribly humid day.
“Never heard of a quadrathon,” he muttered. He lifted his head, stared at her, and then looked at her license again. Like he wasn’t sure if it was really the same person.
“I know it’s not the best picture, but it’s just me on a bad hair day. Anyway! Quadrathon athletes do four things. I made that up, but it seemed fitting. I bet you spend a lot of time at the gym.” She tried not to notice since he was with Cali, but the man was ripped in the sexy way that appealed to all women everywhere. Massive shoulders, broad chest, and bulging biceps were clearly outlined in his short-sleeve blue cop shirt. Flat stomach too. For sure, she could bounce a quarter off those abs. And his forearms were tanned and ropey with muscle. She took all this in with a thoroughly objective eye, not a lusty haze, which was perfectly respectful of his couple status. Her gaze wandered lower to his utility belt full of cop gear and then lower to more…gear. She jerked her gaze back to his face and ordered her body to stop overheating. His face was quite handsome too—dark blue eyes, sharp cheekbones, clean-shaven square jaw softened by his full lips. If you weren’t scared off by his hard expression, you might conclude he was a hottie of the highest degree.
His expression softened a bit. “I skip the gym since I’ve got weights at my place. I prefer outdoors for exercise.” He abruptly turned and went back to his cruiser.
She sighed. She was definitely getting a ticket.
He returned a few minutes later and gave her a stern look. “You already have four points on your license for speeding. Two more points and you’ll be required to go to a driver retraining program.”
“Oh, Ethan, please don’t give me a ticket. I was just excited to get my steps in.” She held up her wrist. “Look, I got my Fitness Mind today. Charlotte says I need ten thousand steps a day.”
He gave her a dead-eye cop stare for so long she knew he was thinking about letting her off. She blinked frantic telepathic messages at him: friends don’t give friends tickets, friends don’t give friends tickets.
He handed back her license and registration. “You get a warning for today—”
“Thank you!”
“On two conditions.”
“Anything.”
“You swear never to speed again.”
“I do, I swear!” She made a small cross over her heart. “Cross my heart and spit in my mother’s eye.”
He cracked a smile that catapulted him past hottie to spectacularly gorgeous. “That’s not…never mind. That’s fine. Other condition is, you get those steps in on a hike today with my hiking club.”
“That’s perfect! One of my new goals is to spend more time in nature. I’ve been so glued to the TV, my phone, and classroom work. In fact, I should get the kids out more too.”
“Hike’s one o’clock today at the reservation over in Fieldridge. I get off at noon. You want to go over together?”
She beamed. “Sure! Will Cali be there?”
He stared at her for a long moment. “I’ll check in with her if you want. I mean, if you’re not comfortable with just me.” He leaned closer. “She’s my partner.”
She nodded once. Message received. It was rather enlightened the way Ethan called his girlfriend his partner. Obviously he had a great deal of respect for Cali. “Either way is good,” she assured him. “Thanks again! You’re a great cop.”
He gave her a small almost shy smile. “I was recently promoted to sergeant. I could’ve taken the test earlier, but I wanted more experience before I supervised other cops. Course, I still do patrol work, but the pay’s better.”
It was the most he’d ever shared and she knew the promotion must’ve meant a lot to him. “Congratulations!”
He saluted. “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Please don’t call me ma’am.”
“Will do. I’ll pick you up at twelve thirty. Got the address from your license.”
“Oh, wait! I recently moved. I’m in the apartment complex in Clover Park now.” She rattled off the new address.
He returned to his hard-cop stare. “You need to file a change of address and update your license.”
“Yes, sir! Keep up the good work, Sergeant Case!”
He shook his head, smiling, and headed back to his cruiser.
She blew out a breath, momentarily dazzled by his male beauty and forgiving nature. She quickly pulled down the visor and checked her look in the small mirror. Her eyes were dilated, her cheeks flushed with the damning evidence—lust. Worse, her hair was up in a messy ponytail and she was wearing the least sexy outfit she owned, an old gray T-shirt and purple and white polka dot leggings. She slammed the visor back in place, mad at herself for caring so much what she looked like. She reminded herself how great she felt with her new single me, happy me lifestyle. She would not be wasting time lusting over a guy, obsessing over a guy, or twisting herself into heights of painfully beautiful perfection (which was never perfect anyway). No man would be responsible for her happiness. She needed to learn to find her own happiness.
Besides, she guiltily reminded herself, Ethan was with Cali. She pulled her shirt away from her overheated body and fanned herself a bit. So, okay, her lusty hormones had perked up after an excruciatingly long dry spell, but that wasn’t anything her vibrator couldn’t take care of, right?
She glanced in the rearview mirror. Ethan was waiting for her to drive away first. Probably clocking her speed too. She drove off at a very sedate thirty miles per hour. An old man on a scooter could pass her at this rate. Ethan made a U-turn and headed in the opposite direction. She eased the acceleration a teensy bit faster. Close call with that speeding ticket, but it all turned out okay. And now she had another new hobby—hiking. Talk about expanding her horizons! Fitness, nature, what else could she do? Maybe she’d learn to be a gourmet cook, or start her own business on the side, making something cool no one ever thought of before, or maybe she’d learn ballroom dance or…pole dancing! Ooh, gardening, though that would have to wait until spring. Suddenly her whole life seemed full of possibilities!
She arrived home to her apartment, stepping inside to the empty quiet that still unsettled her. Setting her bags down, she took a deep breath. Now that she’d given up the fantasy of a romantic happy-ever-after, this could be her future, always coming home to emptiness. A life without love. She crossed her arms, hugging herself, and then with sheer determination, she pushed the dark despair down. No one ever said change was easy.
One step at a time.
She just had to believe she was worth it.
~ ~ ~
Ethan headed for Ally’s apartment, walking at a brisker pace than he normally would to pick up a woman. She was just so damned appealing. He liked her easy cheerfulness, her big smiles, and natural enthusiasm for life. Sometimes he felt like he’d been born hard and jaded. Being around her was like breathing lighter air. He shook his head at himself and his unusually silly thoughts. He headed briskly upstairs to her third-floor apartment. All the hallways and staircases were open to the outside under a covered roof. He liked that, more fresh air circulating.
He rang the bell and the door popped open a minute later. Then he merely stared, speechless.
“Hi!” Ally said cheerfully. “I looked up hiking recommendations online and put together this outfit. You think it’s good?”
This had to be a trick question. She looked utterly ridiculous in a large straw hat, white long-sleeved shirt tucked into khakis with white tube socks over the pants, pulled all the way up to her knees. Sneakers were fine.
He cocked his head. “Why’re the socks over the pants?”
“Protection against ticks, silly. I’m wearing light colors so I can spot them more easily. Lyme disease is no joke.” She looked at the ends of his jeans. “Here, let’s fix your socks too.”
“I’m good. I shower and check for ticks after the hike.”
She stepped outside and locked the door behind her. He took in her adorably geeky self and decided he respected the fact that she cared more about protecting herself than what people thought of how she looked. It showed a certain confidence and fuck-all-the-haters attitude that he’d long ago embraced.
She headed downstairs, a small pink backpack bouncing on her back. “The website recommended a shower as well. I’ll do that too.”
He kept up with her, forcing his mind away from the tantalizing idea of showering together. “What’s in the pack?”
“Water and a granola bar. Where’s your backpack?”
“Left it in my Jeep.”
“Let me guess, Gatorade and an extra-heavy pack for maximum workout.”
He barked out a laugh because she was right. “Yup.”
“How much weight?”
“Twenty pounds.”
She shook her head and her big straw hat tipped. “I’m going to work up to that. How long is the hike anyway?”
“Usually runs from one to four.”
She halted suddenly, grabbing his bicep before quickly dropping it. “Three hours! Are these advanced hikers?”
He lifted one shoulder. “Beginner to intermediate. We stop for hydration breaks. You can always follow the trail back to my Jeep if you get tired.”
“Does anyone ever do that?”
He hesitated before admitting, “No.”
She continued down the stairs. “I’m not going to be that weenie. Charlotte says I already have some nice muscle tone in my quads. I just need to work on my core and my arms.”
He refrained from commenting on her body because he wanted her way more than he had a right to at this stage in their relationship. But hell, she was lush with curves. He longed for softness pressed against him, though he’d never say that out loud. It would ruin his tough-cop image. Even her being a speed demon wasn’t a deal breaker. She was just an enthusiastic person.
“Slow and steady build is better anyway,” he said gruffly, not wanting to give away his lusty thoughts.
“How long did it take you to build strength? I mean, you’re lugging around an extra twenty pounds on a three-hour hike.”
The fact that she noticed his strength was a good sign. She’d been checking him out earlier too when he pulled her over. Some women had a thing for the uniform. “I’ve been working out since high school football days. Then I upped it for my job.”
“Do you have to chase a lot of criminals?”
“You have to be prepared for any situation, but, yes, I’ve apprehended those who broke the law.”
“Have you ever been shot?”
“I’ve been shot at, but never took a bullet. Eastman isn’t a big haven for crime, but there’s enough people to warrant a decent-size police force. Most problems center around drugs.”
“Knock wood—” she knocked her head “—that you keep up that great record of never taking a bullet.”
“Thanks.”
She was quiet the rest of the way down the stairs. He wasn’t sure if his job worried her or she was thinking of something else. There was really nothing to say that would reassure her about his job. It was what it was—long periods of not much going on, sudden high-risk situations. He handled it. And he liked that he could step in and right a wrong. He liked that people needed him most of all. It went a long way for someone who hadn’t felt wanted or needed for way too long as a kid.
He gestured over to where he’d parked.
“I’ve seen this car a few times parked at Garner’s. This is yours? Awesome!” She rushed over to the passenger side of his firecracker red Jeep Wrangler Unlimited. He loved his Jeep, the four-wheel drive was great in all terrain and off-road.
He opened the door for her and she hustled in.
“Will Cali be meeting us there?” she asked.
“No.” He hadn’t bothered to call her. He figured if Ally couldn’t handle being alone with him on a short drive to a group hike, then she couldn’t handle him at all. Better to know that up front. Some women found him too gruff. Maybe they wanted touchy-feely shit. That wasn’t him.
“Oh,” she said, her gaze fixed on his bicep. She jerked her gaze back to his eyes and smiled uncertainly. “Can we put the top down?”
“Yup.” He shut the door. It wasn’t a quick thing to take the soft top down, not if you did it right—taking out the side windows, back window, unlatching everything, pulling the roof back, storing everything safely in the back of the Jeep—but he’d make the effort for her. Several minutes later, he was satisfied that everything was safely stored and climbed in the driver’s side.
“I had no idea it was that much work,” she said. “Thanks for doing that.”
“No problem.” He started the Jeep and backed out of the space. “Hang onto your hat.”
She took off the hat and rested it on her lap. Her hair remained flattened against her head and she ran her fingers through it, shaking it out. He wondered if it was as soft as it looked. Then she lifted her arms and wiggled her fingers out the top of the Jeep. “Whee-ee-ee!”
He chuckled at the reference to his partner’s comically dry take on life and headed out to the main road.
“You have any other hobbies besides fitness?” she asked.
She was definitely interested in him. He played it cool. “Most of my time is spent at work or outdoors hiking, camping, fishing. I spend time with the guys too.”
“Do you miss Zach?” That was his honorary brother he’d grown up with in the same foster home since they were nine. They’d been the youngest boys there at the time, both orphans, and had stuck together. Other kids, mostly siblings, had passed through over the years, but only he and Zach stayed put. If it wasn’t for Zach, Ethan wasn’t sure he would’ve passed high school. Academics had never been his thing. Zach went on to get a PhD. Ethan did his part for Zach, making sure skinny Zach didn’t get his ass kicked. Back then, Ethan would fight any guy that looked sideways at him. He’d been so pissed off for so long because no one wanted him enough to adopt him. He shuddered to think what would’ve become of him without Joe Campbell setting such a powerful example of what a man was, bringing him into the family, along with Zach, and making them feel like they belonged. Ethan didn’t forget that kindness. He was, above all, loyal and remained firmly rooted in Eastman so he could be there not only for the family who’d taken him in, but also the community. He worked for the Eastman Police Department and coached football in the Police Athletic League that had been his haven as a kid.
He glanced over at Ally. “Why would I miss Zach? He lives in town now.”
She waved airily. “Because, you know, now he’s part of the Carrie-Zach couple unit. They’re like all wrapped up in each other.”
“Don’t you see Carrie anymore?”
She sighed. “I do, but it’s not the same. Her mind is in her studies, she just started graduate school, and the rest of the time she’s with him. I mean, sure, I still see her at our book club meetings, a few special occasions, birthdays and stuff, but it’s not the same.”
Hanging out with Zach still felt exactly the same to him. They drank beer, played basketball, and razzed each other just like always. Women’s relationships had a layer of complexity he had yet to crack.
“I mean, I’m happy for them,” she said with forced cheer. “Yay, couplehood! But then what about yay, single friend, you know?”
He was about to ask if she wished she was part of a couple too because it sure as hell sounded like that when she went on.
“Whatever,” she sang. “I’m not bitter. I’m happy, happy, happy.”
“Because of your single me, happy me plan?”
“Yes,” she said firmly.
He mulled over how to make his case for being part of her happy-me plan minus the single, when she said in a voice full of warmth, “Thanks for not giving me a ticket.”
It was something. A start. “Sure. Don’t let it happen again.”
“I sped a little on the way home.”
“I didn’t hear that.”
“I jaywalk too. I just dart across the street the moment traffic clears.”
He groaned. “Ally, seriously I’m going to have to take you through good citizenship one-oh-one.”
“Like a dog?” She lifted her hands like paws and panted with her tongue out. “Train me up for my good citizenship. Arf! Bring lots of biscuits.”
He smirked.
“You’re thinking of doggy-style, aren’t you?” she accused.
Already she was onto his dirty line of thinking. “I admit nothing. And please cross with the light. There’s no reason to play chicken with traffic.”
“You’re kind of a goody-goody for a tough cop.”
He glared at her. She laughed.
“You take that back,” he ordered.
“Okay, okay, you just have an unhealthy respect for law and order.”
He stopped at a red light and gave her his best intimidating cop stare. “I’m a frigging cop.”
She put her palms up. “Don’t arrest me, officer! It’s not a crime to notice stuff about other people. Right? I mean, you’re not on duty.”
He clenched his jaw. He was the king of cool and not a goody-goody.
She patted his arm. “Lighten up. I’m just joking around.”
He growled out his retort, giving it some bite. “Spend more time with me and you’ll see just how much I’m not a goody-goody.” He checked the light. Still red. He turned back to see her grinning.
“Challenge accepted. This’ll be fun.”
He grunted. Clearly she didn’t find him too gruff. He liked that he wouldn’t have to tiptoe around her tender feelings.
A short while later, he pulled into the gravel parking lot of the Fieldridge Reservation. Some of his hiking club was already there—a mix of people ranging from twenties to forties, just one couple, most of them were single. He figured once you were married with kids, you had less time for Sunday afternoon hikes. If he had a kid, he’d just strap him or her onto his back and take them with.
Ally hopped out of the Jeep before he could open her door. He met up with her.
She centered her hat on her head. “Introduce me to everyone.”
He walked over with her and introduced her to the one married couple, George and Diana, then to some of the guys, Rob, Mike, and the two Matts. The women stared at her tick-resistant outfit. All the women wore jeans and long-sleeve shirts. Nobody wore a hat. All socks were under their pant cuffs where they belonged.
He gestured toward the women. “This is Trina, Hillary, Becky, Sarah,” he paused, squinting as he tried to remember the last one.
“Maria,” she supplied.
“Yes, Maria. Sorry. Not great with names. This is Ally, first-time hiker.”
“I’ve hiked before,” Ally said with a grin. “The mall is my preferred venue, but I read up on hiking and I’m all set.”
The women looked her up and down. “That’s good,” someone mumbled.
“It’s to keep ticks away,” Ally explained, pointing to her socks. “And light colors to make it easier to spot them.”
That launched everyone on their own tale of Lyme disease. Many people had been exposed, but if you pulled the tick off within twenty-four hours, you were usually safe. Caught early, antibiotics took care of it. Caught late, it was a long haul to recovery.
“See, Ethan?” Ally said, giving him a poke to the shoulder. “I told you it was important.”
“You did.”
More people showed up. Eight guys, six women. Their fearless leader, Rob, a crunchy guy with long brown dreads in a loose bun, announced they’d waited long enough and the rest of the group could catch up on the trail. Or as he put it, “You snoozed, you probably boozed.” He had lots of pithy expressions involving alcohol and pot.
At first, Ethan walked with Ally, but her stride was so much shorter and her pace so slow, it became almost painful to keep stride with her. She waved him on, already out of breath thirty minutes in. It was a gradual uphill climb.
“Do your thing,” she panted. “I’ll catch up.”
“Sure?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine.”
A half hour later, Ally trailing increasingly behind the group, they all stopped for a hydration break. It was a good stopping place in a small clearing with some flat boulders to rest on. He crossed to her side where she sat leaning against a tree.
“You doing okay?” he asked.
She nodded and took a long drink of water.
He dropped his pack and stretched. He loved a hard physical workout; something he’d learned in high school was better all around for everyone. It focused his energy and dramatically decreased the number of fistfights he got in. He chugged some Gatorade and watched Ally.
She took off her hat and fanned herself with it. He hated to say it, but she looked completely exhausted. She was sweating, cheeks flushed pink, hair flattened in scraggly blond locks around her cute pixie face. She wasn’t used to hiking.
“Jeep’s unlocked,” he told her. “Why don’t you head back and rest? I’ll meet you back there.”
She eyed him. “I am not a weenie.”
He grinned. “At the end of this trail is a nice view—a huge lake surrounded by trees.”
“Describe it for me. Make it real. I need the motivation.”
“Sure.” He looked off in the distance, trying to bring it all into focus from memory. “Well, the water is blue with light ripples. Plenty of fish—lotta trout, small mouth, yellow perch. Sometimes you’ll see a turtle sunning itself on a log. This time of year, the trees are just starting to turn color around the edges of the lake, bright reds, oranges, and yellows. Blue sky that seems to meet the treeline. So much sky, feels like a bigger sky there.” He kept going, remembering tons of little details. He’d spent a lot of time at this lake, fishing and camping. “You’ll love it,” he finally concluded, turning back to her.
She was asleep.
He admired her for a moment, geeky tube socks and all. What a fighter, working herself to the point of exhaustion. Now he had two choices, give her a piggyback ride to the end of the trail or help her back to the Jeep. The view was spectacular. She’d probably feel like a weenie sitting in the Jeep.
He nudged her arm. “Wake up, there’s an awesome view with your name on it.”
She kept sleeping.
He squatted next to her, took her water bottle from her limp hand, and plucked her hat off her lap. He fanned her with the hat. “Ally,” he barked, “up and at ’em, soldier.”
“Omigod!” one of the women exclaimed. “She fell asleep?”
Ethan straightened. “She’s not used to a strenuous workout. This is her second one today.” He nudged Ally’s leg with his foot. “Come on, wake up.”
The other hikers gathered around, looking at her curiously. “Has she been sick?” someone asked.
“No, she’s fine.” He loosened the cap on her water bottle and dripped some cold water over her head.
She startled awake, peered up at him still holding the water bottle over her head, and scrambled to her feet, snatching the water bottle from him with an unholy gleam in her eyes.