Chapter Nine
A week later, Ethan decided he had nothing to complain about. Okay, yeah, he had to share Ally with a bunch of other people at their campfire cookout tonight, but right now he had her to himself for the whole afternoon, fishing on the lake. They were the only ones out here besides a few small boats on the far side of the lake. So far she hadn’t caught anything and had been unusually quiet. He didn’t fill the silence with a lot of unnecessary chatter. That was one of the great things about fishing, just quietly becoming one with nature.
After a while, she looked around and took a deep breath. “This is nice. I can see why you like it. It’s almost like meditating.”
He nodded.
She kept talking, confiding in him in a way few people did. “I became a teacher because I love kids, but lately my job just feels too confining, you know? I switched from fifth grade to first grade for a change of pace a couple of years ago when the position opened up, but now I think I need a bigger change.” She made a sweeping arm gesture, which made her life vest lift. “I want to get out of the classroom and into the world. I’m thinking about being Claire’s assistant. I spoke to her current assistant and it’s a lot of work, but also has some great perks. Travel, award shows, VIP rooms so exclusive most people don’t even know they exist. Anyway, I’m giving it some serious thought.”
His brows furrowed. “Why would you want to be an assistant when you have a college degree?”
“It could be fun.”
“More like you’ll be chained to your phone, handling her life.” Claire spent most of her downtime in California, the rest of it traveling to different movie locations. Ethan was deeply rooted in Eastman, Connecticut. He’d stayed to give back to the community who’d raised him. More importantly, he wasn’t far from retiring on a full pension from the years he’d put in on the Eastman PD. All of this pointed to him staying. He tried to think of Ally’s job possibility objectively. He could see the appeal of traveling around the world on someone else’s dime, the lure of the Hollywood world. And he didn’t want Ally to be unhappy, stuck in a job that stifled her, but he also knew their fledgling relationship wouldn’t survive long distance.
She smiled sunnily. “Chained to a phone in Paris maybe? Not so bad.”
“Do you really want to work for a friend? What if something goes wrong?”
She stared at him. “Geez, Eth, I’m trying to have a quarter-life crisis here and you’re ruining it with all your common sense. I’ll admit I’m a little worried about having a friend for a boss. Maybe that’s why I haven’t given her an answer yet. Or maybe I’m just waiting for something better to come along.” She sighed. “I don’t know. I just…I need to shake things up. I’m ready for the next thing, whatever that is. Maybe I should just grab this opportunity and hope for the best.”
He relaxed a little. She was just restless. “What do you really want to do? If you could do anything in the world.”
“Hmm…professional dominatrix.”
His jaw dropped.
She burst out laughing.
He shook his head. “You got me.”
“Yeah, I’m not so into that.”
“What’re you into?”
“My vibrator.” She clapped a hand over her mouth.
He smirked.
“Maybe I should sell sex toys. Or start a sex-toy company with even better vibrators.” She lifted a hand. “Made for women by a woman.”
“Been a while for you.” And let me help you with that.
“Now why do you say that?”
“You mentioned it at the diner with Cali. Plus, so far all your ideas involve sex.”
She blushed and looked off in the distance over his shoulder.
“Ally.” He waited for her to meet his eyes. “Maybe what you’re looking for isn’t out there, but in here.” He tapped his forehead. “And here.” He tapped his chest right over his heart.
Her brows scrunched together. “You mean like yoga? Spirituality?”
“Like living a life of purpose. Whatever that means to you.”
She stared at him for a long moment before slowly shaking her head. “How’d you get so wise?”
He barked out a laugh. “I ripped that off Joe. He’s been like a dad to me. Anyway, he said that when I was struggling over what to do with my life, and it brought everything into focus.”
She stared at him as if waiting for him to spout more deep stuff, so he gave her his honest opinion on her sologamy stuff.
“It’s good to take the time to work on yourself, but you don’t want to trade one extreme for another.”
She cocked her head. “What do you mean?”
He treaded carefully. “Like…dropping everything in your life for something new.” He’d choked. Dammit. He wanted to say don’t close off the possibility of us just because you’re working on improving your life.
He tried to work up some better words, but they just wouldn’t come out. He didn’t know where he stood with her, didn’t want to back her into a corner, especially didn’t want to say something all feelings-like that she wouldn’t return, so he just sat there tongue-tied.
Her fishing line jerked and she squealed, standing up in her excitement and peering down in the water.
Never stand in a canoe!
Splash! They both took a dunk in the lake.
Fucking cold. He should’ve explained about capsizing to her. Canoes were tippy; you had to stay low and centered. They bobbed on the surface in their life jackets. Neither of them wore a swimsuit, just long-sleeved shirts, shorts, and bare feet. Luckily they’d left their valuables locked in his Jeep.
“I think we scared the fish away!” she exclaimed with a laugh.
He shook his head and quickly retrieved the paddles and his rod. Hers was nowhere to be found. Fish probably swam off with it. “Hold these,” he said, shoving the paddles and rod at her. “Gimme a moment to right it.”
He maneuvered the canoe back upright, went to Ally, got the stuff and tossed it in the canoe. “It’s got water in the bottom, but we can still make it back to shore.”
“Sorry, Eth. I’m a nature newbie.”
“It’s fine. See? This is why I made you wear a life jacket.” She’d balked at wearing it, saying she was a strong swimmer.
She splashed him playfully. He wound up for the mother of all splashes and soaked her. Not that they weren’t already soaked. He grinned because he even got some plant life in there and it looked like a seaweed wig.
“Sea creature!” she hollered, swiping at it. “Get it off!”
“Relax. It’s just some dead eel grass.”
“Eel!” Her blue eyes widened, her fingers frantic as she tried to untangle it from her hair.
“It’s just a plant.” He swam up closer and carefully extricated the offending grass. “There.” He tossed it away.
She gazed at him, her lips parting.
That was the sign he needed. That look in her eyes. The attraction electric, a force all its own, drawing him in because he knew with absolute certainty it went both ways. He lifted a hand, gently pushing her bangs out of her eyes. And then forced himself to turn away. He’d end up drowning them both the way he wanted her.
“Got to get to shore,” he muttered.
He hauled himself into the canoe, careful to stay low and centered, turned and offered her a hand.
“Won’t I pull you in?” she asked.
“Nope. I’ve got you.”
She placed her hand in his and he pulled her up. She flopped ungracefully into the canoe and stayed low, like she was afraid to tip it again. He guided her over to the bench seat and took the one across from her.
She shivered. “I didn’t even bring a change of clothes.”
“Me either. We’ll dry. I’ll hang up our stuff, get a fire going.”
“Oh, really? And in the meantime we just run around in our birthday suits?”
He smirked.
She jutted out her chin, and he stared at it instead of her lush mouth. God, she was sexy. He wanted her naked so bad he could taste it, though he’d planned on being a gentleman and giving her a hoodie from his Jeep to cover up while their clothes dried.
He lowered his voice to a husky tone. “I’ll warm you up once we get to shore.”
She stared at his mouth, her pink tongue darting out to lick her lips. Kill him now. “Oh,” she said in a breathy voice.
He grabbed the paddles and paddled to shore with powerful strokes.
A few moments later, she crossed her arms, hugging herself. “Damn, I’m seriously cold.”
“I have a towel and a hoodie in the Jeep. You can dry off and wear the hoodie. It’ll probably fit you like a dress.”
She eyed him. “What are you, a park ranger? No. Take me back to my apartment, where I will shower the dead eel germs off me, remoisturize, and redress.”
He grinned. “So now I’m a park ranger?”
She nodded once. “If the brown felt hat with the drawstring chin strap fits.”
He laughed out loud. “Come on, city girl, stay with me on this. Back to your apartment is the wimpy way to go.”
“You take that back, tough guy. I hear an implied weenie in there.”
“The guys’ll be here soon. They’re going to show up to an empty party.”
“Then you stay here while I drive your Jeep back to my apartment and change.”
“With your lead foot?”
She scowled and then her scowl faded as she watched him paddle. She dug the display of strength, he could tell by the flush of pink in her cheeks. She lifted her head, her expression pure desire. “Did you, uh, want me to help paddle?”
He smirked. “Then how would you ogle my muscles?”
Her cheeks dotted with red. Ha. Busted. She turned away, looking at the shoreline, and then turned back to him. “Let’s speed this up, muscle man.”
He did, loving the nickname. He got them safely to shore, dumping his fishing rod, paddles, and their life vests on the sand before clearing the water from the canoe. Then he stored the canoe in the designated area a short distance away.
When he returned, Ally was doing a little bouncing dance to keep warm.
He took in her goose bumps, her wet hair pressed flatly to her head, her pale lips, her soaked clothes, clingy and see-through, and did the only logical thing—pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Her lips were soft and yielding, exactly as he’d hoped. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing against him, igniting carnal need. Scorching hot, tongues tangling, they devoured each other. He gripped her hair, his other hand firmly on her ass, pressing her against him. She moaned softly, threatening to break his control.
He pulled away, both of them breathless.
She stared at him, her fingers touching her lips.
He grabbed her hand. “Come on.”
“Don’t you need your stuff?”
He stopped, and she gave him a knowing smile. “Blood left your brain, didn’t it?” she asked.
He kissed her again, hard and fast. “You’ve got a smart mouth.”
They stared at each other for a long pulse-pounding moment. He wanted that mouth and a lot more of her. Right here, right now. Kissing Ally had only confirmed what he’d known deep down—they fit. On every level.
She let out a shaky breath and looked everywhere but at him. “Okay, um, so let’s go to my place first so I can shower and change; then we’ll go to yours so you can too.”
He stared at that lush mouth he desperately wanted another taste of. If they went to her place and she was naked in the shower—no. He had to do this right. Not in a hot rush before a party. All things considered, he’d have better control if they stayed here, knowing their friends were arriving soon. “We’ll stay here,” he said firmly. “You can wear my hoodie.”
Her eyes flashed. “I’m not showing up to a party looking like a drowned rat. Let’s rock-paper-scissors for it.”
He bit back a smile, liking that she didn’t hesitate to push back. “What is this, first grade?” He lifted a thumb. “Thumb wrestle. And you’re not at all ratlike. You look very natural.”
She harrumphed. “Natural is not what I’m going for.” She joined hands with him and lifted her thumb. “One, two, three, go.”
He won in a quick battle, keeping her hand tucked in his. “Looks like you’re wearing my hoodie.”
“Only because your thumbs are unusually large.”
He lifted his thumb and stared at it. “They are?”
She slammed his thumb down. “Ha-ha! I won. Back to my place.”
“You cheated. That didn’t count.”
She grinned cheekily and headed for his Jeep, a little swagger in her step.
“Fine, you win.” He grabbed his fishing stuff and caught up with her, telling himself to cool it. He’d keep his distance at her place, make it quick at his place. That way he’d eliminate the window of temptation. After the party was soon enough. Then he could take his time, make it good for her. For now, he’d keep it light.
She sniffed him. “You smell like the lake.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
She crinkled her nose. “It’s kind of fishy.”
“How can it be fishy? All your splashing scared the fish away.”
“Trust me, we’re like walking aquariums.”
“Huh.”
He drove to her place, keeping up a steady back-and-forth over her city-girl ways and his country-boy ways.
He couldn’t stop smiling.
~ ~ ~
Ally texted Hailey to let her know she and Ethan would be a little late on account of a fishing mishap, but to go ahead and start the party without them. Hailey would spread the word to everyone else. Feeling cozy and warm in Ethan’s hoodie, a thick gray sweatshirt that was so big she could sit on it, she was a lot more comfortable on the drive to her place than she was back at the lake. Well, as comfortable as she could be now that she’d crossed the line with Ethan. Her lips tingled at the memory of that incredible kiss, sensual and passionate. That kiss told her Ethan knew exactly what to do with a woman.
And she desperately wanted him to do her.
No other man had ever turned her on so much with just a kiss.
She wanted to trust him. She wanted him. Her body said yes, her brain screamed no, and her heart was not available for comment, locked up in her tight chest.
She blew out a breath. One step at a time.
She glanced over at him in the driver’s seat, looking all composed, not shaken up like her. It was just a kiss. No big. Keep it light.
Ethan parked in front of her building, got out, walked around, and opened her door for her.
“Such gentleman manners,” she teased. “I heard Mr. Campbell taught all you guys.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She laughed and stepped out of the Jeep. He shut the door behind her. “Thank you.”
His gaze raked down her body before meeting her eyes with a hungry look that made her throb. “I like you wearing my hoodie.”
She flipped the hood up over her head. “This old thing?”
He held her chin. “You look like you’re mine.”
She shivered, suddenly breathless, her heart pounding in her ears.
He chuckled, a dirty low sound, and guided her upstairs, one large hand on the small of her back. She moved at a quick pace, spurred by adrenaline. Think practically. They were both soaking wet, the priority was getting warm and dry before joining their friends at the party. Yes, the party! A built-in deadline for them to work toward. As long as they kept their distance for just a little while more, everything would be fine. She’d ignore the lust that made her limbs heavy and her belly flutter and all of her feel alive.
One step at a time.
She glanced at Ethan in his soaking wet clothes and realized he must be cold. It was mid-October and the temperature was dropping enough to put a nip in the air. He was too tough to admit to being chilly.
As soon as she got inside, she took off his hoodie and handed it to him. “Here, so you can warm up while I shower.”
His eyes were hungry, eating her up. “I’m plenty warm.”
She tossed the hoodie at him and he caught it one-handed. She grabbed the remote off the coffee table. “You can watch some sports.”
He took the remote. “Exactly how long are you planning to take?”
“I’ll try to be quick, but I have to deal with my hair, dry it and everything. I’ll get you a towel so you can sit on the sofa.”
“I’ll stand.”
She shook her head, went to her bedroom, got a towel from the closet, and returned, offering it to him. He remained arms crossed, standing in front of the TV. At least he was wearing his hoodie.
She put the towel on the sofa and returned to him. “Now you can take a seat.”
He cupped the back of her neck and squeezed, gazing into her eyes. “You don’t listen very well, do you?”
Her breath hitched, her pulse skittering, nearly light-headed with lust. “I’m being helpful,” she whispered.
“Helpful,” he echoed with a hint of amusement like he was onto her ways, trying to be all practical instead of throwing herself at him.
She was caught, his big hand on the back of her neck, so close she could feel his breath. “Eth,” she whispered.
He closed the distance, his lips brushing over hers, once, twice, filling her with aching need, until he finally took possession.
She lost herself in the intense pleasure. His hand shifted, cupping her jaw, his other hand cupping her ass, pulling her up tight against him, pelvis to pelvis. She was so turned on she felt like she’d explode at the lightest touch. She wanted desperately to get skin on skin, the insistent throbbing between her legs spurring her on. She slid her hands under the back of his shirt, had barely gotten the tamest of back feels in when he broke the kiss, lifted her by the waist and set her away from him.
“I don’t understand,” she said in a breathy voice, woozy from the sudden loss of him.
“Timing,” he said tersely. “Go.”
She didn’t go. The temptation was too much. She got closer, rising up on tiptoe to whisper, “We can be late for the party.”
His hand came up, cradling her jaw, the roughness of his palm so different from the other men she’d dated. His voice was gruff, an edge to it that excited her. “When I finally get you naked, I’m going to need all night.” His thumb swept across her bottom lip. “Understand?”
She was a puddle of lust. Not a single brain cell firing. She nodded, beyond speech.
He smirked and dropped his hand, stepping away from her to stand in front of the TV.
She was halfway between elation and frustration when she headed to the shower.
The moment she stepped into the living room, hair dry, wearing a light pink V-neck sweater and jeans, Ethan barked, “Let’s go,” and went to the front door, holding it open for her.
She snagged her purse and headed for the door, a little surprised at his turn from hot and hungry to terse. “Why’re you so cranky all of a sudden?”
“You have no idea how tempting you are.”
She flushed with warmth at the compliment. “Thank you.” She beamed, a little giddy that she had just as much an effect on him as he did her. She could forgive crankiness brought on by overwhelming lust for her.
He grunted. “Only reason I’m showering is because you said I smelled like an aquarium.”
She followed him outside, locked up, and turned to him. “Don’t I smell so much better now?”
He headed for the stairs. “No comment.”
She kept up, a cheerful lightness in her step. “You can comment. I do, right? See, this was a good idea.”
He moved incredibly fast down the stairs. “This was a terrible idea.”
Luckily she was wearing her sneakers and hurried down with him. “But I smelled like dead eels before.”
“Dead eel grass. Not dead eels.”
“And now I smell like shampoo.”
She waited for him to notice how nice the honeysuckle shampoo was, but he remained quiet the rest of the way down.
Ethan stopped at his Jeep and opened the door for her. “You smell like sexy woman no matter what.”
She blinked, her stomach doing a delicious flip. Before she could attempt to return the compliment, he did smell like sexy Ethan under the lake smell, he shut her door and went around the other side.
As soon as he got in, she said, “You too.”
He started the ignition. “Too late. Getting a shower.”
She stifled a laugh.
“This’ll take a lot less time than yours did.”
“Clearly you’re not used to waiting on a woman.”
“Nope.”
“Get used to it.”
He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’d like that a lot.”
Her heart clutched. The unexpected tenderness cracked through the haze of lust, making her think of the possibility of more. Her mind raced forward in time; could they have something lasting?
Stop it. Ethan is not your fantasy prince bringing you a happy-ever-after. She was so mad at herself for backsliding. She’d deliberately chosen a new direction for her life. And she was making great progress too, learning to enjoy singlehood, trying new things, searching for what would bring her happiness. The sologamy ceremony had cemented everything, transforming her from a hopeless romantic to a practical, self-respecting single woman. She’d become the butterfly she was always meant to be. Now she had a great job opportunity on the horizon with Claire, possibly taking her far from home. She couldn’t start something with Ethan and then leave. That wasn’t fair to either of them.
She was quiet on the short drive over to his place in Eastman, her thoughts jumbled, not at all sure what to do with this intense chemistry between her and Ethan. Could she enjoy something casual with him? If they talked about it, sort of set some boundaries to keep it light, maybe it would be okay. Nobody would get hurt.
She followed him to the door of his two-story townhouse, curious about his place. Probably it would have a lot of wood furniture, maybe even a trophy on the wall, like a deer head or a giant fish.
She stepped inside to a sparsely furnished living room with only three things—cushy chocolate brown leather sofa, wood coffee table, and a flat-screen TV mounted on the wall. No end tables. Nothing hung on the walls. It looked like he’d moved in to the standard white walls, beige carpeting that the townhouse came with and left it. She peeked into the kitchen, separated by a half wall on two sides, to find a round gray steel bistro table with two matching chairs. An adjacent dining room was nearly empty except for some barbells on the side. The place was Spartan and she decided it fit the outdoorsy tough Ethan. Though the sofa did look soft and inviting.
“Just you here?” she asked, crossing to the sofa to put some distance between them. Lust addled her brain.
“Yeah. Logan Campbell used to live here too. It’s a two bedroom, but ever since he’s become a hotshot entrepreneur, he went and bought a house.”
“What does a hotshot do?”
He lifted one bulky shoulder up and down. “He runs an online service that does background checks for short-term contractors and personal caregivers. Ben Wright works with him.” He jutted out his chin. “I could’ve got in on it too, it was my work that inspired the idea, but I told them a desk job wasn’t for me.”
“Ouch.”
He stepped closer. “What do you mean ouch?”
“Well, it’s just that he and Ben must be doing really well. You could’ve bought a house too if you were in on it.”
He crossed his arms, his tone hard. “I’m a simple man with simple needs. Happy to work my shift, do a good job, relax with a beer, or go fishing on the lake. Doesn’t get any better than that.”
He was so defensive she should’ve let it drop. It wasn’t like she cared about money, but she’d seen through Claire the fabulous options money could give someone. “What about travel? Have you ever left Connecticut?”
“Sure, I visited Jake out in California before. I’m happy.” Jake Campbell had a billion-dollar tech company in California. Now he was only part-time and moved with his wife, Claire, to her movie locations.
“So you’re completely one hundred percent content?” It was hard for her to comprehend coming so close to a fabulous opportunity and turning it down.
He frowned. “Not one hundred percent content. Mostly.”
She stepped close enough to touch, drawn to his open honesty. “What would make it one hundred percent?”
His expression softened before he lifted his chin in challenge. “What would make it one hundred percent content for you?”
She thought for a moment. “That’s what I’m trying to find out. Maybe finding my life’s purpose. You found yours though. And you’re still not content?”
He was quiet before finally saying, “There’re other factors.”
She nodded, figuring he meant something really deep. “Like enlightenment.”
“Enlightenment, huh?”
She waved a hand airily. “Enlightenment, peacefulness, satisfaction—whatever word you use, it means the same thing.”
He smirked.
“Not that!”
He gave her a slow sexy smile that made her insides flip. “You were thinking it too.”
“So every time you smirk you’re thinking about sex?”
He nodded. “Pretty much.”
“That’s a lot.”
“I’m a guy. It’s kind of our thing.” He inclined his head toward the sofa. “Go ahead and take a seat while I shower.”
She held up a finger. “Hold on, let me get this straight. So while you’re busy thinking about sex most of the time, I’m, well, I used to be, busy thinking about my prince galloping up on his white horse to whisk me away?”
“I guess. I never knew women thought that until you just said it.”
“It’s understood.”
He lifted a brow in an arch look of disbelief, his eyes dancing with amusement. Then they cracked up.
“Ridiculous!” she exclaimed, shaking her head.
“Completely fucked up.”
She got serious. “I’m just glad I saw the light.”
He studied her for a moment. “So now that you’re off the prince thing, you gonna join me on the dark side?”
“I’m on the path to enlightenment.”
He leaned close with a naughty look in his eyes and her heart kicked hard. “Is that another word for orgasm?”
She tried to laugh it off, though her belly was fluttering and the moment the word orgasm rolled out in his deep voice she went damp, well, more damp. “Eth! You’re ridiculous!”
He smiled and tapped her on the nose. “Be back in much less time than it took you to shower.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she said and headed for the sofa. She grabbed the remote and flopped down. Omigod, this sofa was decadent. She felt swallowed up in a hug.
She turned on the TV and found a rerun of her favorite medical drama. The sound of water running upstairs distracted her, her mind instantly conjuring an image of shirtless Ethan, all hard sculpted muscle and tanned skin. The rest of him was probably amazing, she’d felt his thick hardness when they’d been pressed against each other. She fidgeted, throbbing between the legs, more than throbbing, like a great pulse of rampant need. She looked toward the stairs. What if she just walked upstairs and stepped into the shower?
She turned up the volume on the TV, drowning out the shower.
It felt like only a few minutes had passed when the TV turned off suddenly. Ethan set the remote back on the coffee table, standing directly in front of her. His hair was still wet and he smelled woodsy and clean. Intoxicating. He wore a snug T-shirt and jeans that molded to his frame. The outfit only emphasized his incredible muscular body.
And she wanted to rip it off.
He offered his hand. “We’d better get going.” She placed her hand in his and he hauled her out of the clutches of the sofa. He dropped her hand immediately, which stung. Maybe he was having second thoughts about acting on their lust.
She forced herself to keep her hands at her sides.
He crossed to the front door and opened it. “After you.”
“Thanks,” she murmured.
They were nearly back at the lake before either of them spoke again. “Eth?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“About what?”
“I don’t know. The all-night thing, I guess.”
“Are you?”
“Kind of.”
“Okay.”
She let out a breath, not sure if she was more relieved or disappointed. He’d agreed so quickly. It was for the best. Now she didn’t have to worry about getting involved when she might be heading out to Hollywood with Claire. And her heart was safe.
“You’re worth waiting for,” he said.
Her heart literally stopped and then lurched to life, pounding against her rib cage. Not even her fantasy prince could have topped that.