Chapter Eight
Ally woke early Sunday morning back in her own bed, completely rejuvenated from a weekend with friends and a decadent day at the spa. Of course they loved Claire for herself, not her gobs of money, but sometimes it was nice to enjoy it with her. None of them could ever have afforded a spa like that on their own. Before they’d headed home last night, Claire assured Ally the assistant job would be hers if she wanted it, but she wanted Ally to first talk to her assistant, Arianna, to get an understanding of exactly what it was like because, as Claire said, “It’s not always glam. Sometimes it’s like wrestling an octopus trying to keep on top of everything.” Ally promised to talk to Arianna and think it over before moving forward. Claire wasn’t in a rush since Arianna wasn’t leaving for a couple of months when Fierce Loving wrapped just before Thanksgiving. Claire was taking off for the holidays. After the New Year was soon enough and would give Ally’s boss plenty of time to find a substitute.
Ally was giddy at the idea of working in Hollywood. It certainly wouldn’t be boring. And she’d probably get to travel. Claire was always moving with the location of her current movie.
She smiled to herself, loving this newfound contentment in knowing she was enough. She didn’t have to hope and wish that a prince would show up and give her some fantasy happy-ever-after. She had the happy-ever-after already, mostly. Great things were happening. She sat up and snagged her phone from the nightstand, eager to text her friends congratulations messages on their newly solo married status.
As soon as the phone powered on, she found a text from Ethan. Hike today at one. You up for it? There’s a cave. Intermediate level.
A cave? Who could resist a cave? Even though it had been a tough haul on the last hike, she’d been proud of herself for finishing it. After two weeks of doing the daily exercises Charlotte had given her, she was already feeling stronger and more fit. It was the first weekend of October, her absolute favorite time of year, crisp and cool, the leaves bursting with color. And a group hike felt safe. No chance she’d climb his incredible body surrounded by other hikers. She quickly texted back. Yes.
He responded immediately. You want to get a bite to eat before?
Super casual lunch between friends? No prob. Sure.
I’ll pick you up at 11:45.
She texted a smiley emoticon that he didn’t respond to and quickly switched over to a group text congratulating her friends. Tons of confetti, champagne, and dancing emoticons texted back to her. She let out a small happy laugh.
She hopped in the shower and found her mind wandering to shirtless Ethan on their last hike. No, you are not obsessing over a guy. She worked the shampoo into her hair and made herself focus on the wonderful weekend she’d had with her friends.
He’d given her the shirt off his back.
That meant something to her. It spoke to his nature—protective, chivalrous, generous. She’d have to be made of stone not to notice his masculine beauty, bronzed skin and sculpted muscle. No scars or tattoos either, just smooth skin that she longed to touch and kiss and taste. She sighed dreamily and then groaned. She would not be falling head over ass in lust again. She always spent too much time thinking about guys. Thinking, not doing.
She quickly finished up in the shower. She wouldn’t try to look nice for him. She pulled on another tick-repellant outfit—an old thin white sweater, khakis, and tube socks on top of her pants. She stared at the socks and quickly tucked them back under her pants. No makeup, and she tied her hair back in a simple ponytail at the nape of her neck. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her skin glowed from the rejuvenating facial at the spa, but that couldn’t be helped. She pulled out the hair band and shook her hair out.
Nerves skittered through her, and she took off the entire outfit. It was too early. She’d do her workout routine, relax with a book, and then get dressed at the last minute because this was just a casual outing between friends. This wasn’t a date. She’d gotten off track for a minute there. Now she was back.
By eleven thirty, she’d accomplished a lot—worked out and read five pages of the romantic second-chance story from book club before her high energy level forced her to put the e-reader down and clean her apartment. She dabbed the sweat from her face with a tissue. Shower? Nah. She’d just get sweaty again on the hike. She got dressed in her tick-repelling clothes, grabbed her sun hat and purse, and headed out the door. She got all the way to her car and halted unsteadily. She wasn’t driving; Ethan was picking her up. Her stomach did a jittery dance.
Okay, calm the fuck down. Her shoulders sank, disappointed in herself for getting so worked up over seeing him when she’d tried so hard not to be. She had to let go of all this guy angst and steady herself. That sologamy ceremony meant something. Oh! She’d forgotten her silver heart necklace. That would be a good reminder.
She turned, heading for the stairs when she ran into Ethan. “Hey! You’re early!”
He gave her a slow sexy smile that made her stomach dip and her pulse thrum. His dark blue eyes ate her up, lingering on her lips, drifting to her neck, and then a slow perusal down her body. Her breath hitched. Finally his eyes locked with hers. Hungry and hot.
She gulped.
“I made better time than I thought,” he said gruffly. “Ready to go?”
“Just need to grab one thing.” She headed for the stairs and he followed. She glanced over at his gorgeous profile, sharp cheekbones, just a hint of scruff on his square jaw. Deliciously rugged good looks. She quickly faced forward. “Oh, you’re coming with, well, okay, sure, I wouldn’t leave a friend out in the cold.” Not that it was cold. It was freaking hot whenever he got close.
He stopped. “I can wait here if you’re not comfortable.”
“Don’t be silly. No big.” She picked up the pace, anxious energy driving her. “So what’s the deal with this cave? Is it really old?”
“It’s been there a long time, don’t know exactly how long. Legend is the Furman lived there all winter.”
“The Furman? You mean like a trapper?”
“Yeah. But he was kind of a wanderer. He traveled all over the Northeast, trading furs, but he wintered in that cave. They called him the Furman not just because he sold furs, but because he wore a huge fur coat made up of all kinds of animal furs stitched together. This was back in Civil War times. They say he never spoke.”
“That is cool!”
He flashed a smile that made her pulse skyrocket. “It might just be a legend. There weren’t good written records back then. Though there is an old picture of him at the Trailside Museum.”
“Ooh!” She grabbed his arm impulsively, met hard warm muscle, and quickly dropped her hold. “I’ve got to see that.”
“Sure thing. After the hike.” He grinned. “Got to give you some motivation.”
“Ha! I’m going to own that trail.”
“Own it, huh? Nice.”
They reached the top of the stairs and she opened the door to her apartment. He followed close behind, looking around curiously. “I haven’t had time to do much decorating,” she said.
“It’s nice.”
“I like more color. I’ll probably paint the walls a deep gold. Be right back!” She headed to her tall chest of drawers, where she’d left the necklace in the narrow top drawer, and slipped it on. She closed her eyes, deep breathing as she held the heart, rubbing her finger over the rounded surface, bringing back the contented feeling when she’d put it on at the ceremony. She opened her eyes, centered again, and headed back to the living room.
Ethan was standing in the center of the room, arms crossed. He wore a simple gray T-shirt and faded jeans, but still held an air of authority. In fact, when he wasn’t smiling, he made an imposing figure, sort of filling up the space with barely restrained masculine power. Not just strength, but a tightly coiled energy. Like a grizzled outlaw in the Old West. She was glad he was on her side.
“Ready,” she chirped.
He immediately headed for the door and opened it for her. “I got you tick repellant.”
She halted in front of him. “You got me tick repellant?”
“It was highly rated. Works for twelve hours.”
Her heart squeezed at this kindness, a warm glow spreading through her. He wasn’t expressive, but then he did this kind of gesture, knowing her concern about ticks. “Thank you, Eth. I really appreciate it.”
His lips parted in surprise. “No problem.” His tone was brusque like he was embarrassed by her appreciation.
She locked up and they headed downstairs.
“So what’d you have to get?” he asked.
She lifted her heart necklace from under her shirt. “My commitment necklace. I married myself on Friday with all of my friends. They got married too.”
“Huh.”
Normally she would find that kind of remark offensive, a noncommittal “huh” in the face of such significance, but now she was a new woman, accepting of her flaws and those of others. Like men who couldn’t string together enough words for an adequate response to important news.
She tucked her necklace back under her shirt and patted it. They reached the bottom of the stairs and he gestured toward his Jeep. Then he held the passenger door open for her. She climbed in, already used to him doing the gentleman thing. She was sure it was Mr. Campbell’s influence. All the Campbell men had been raised with excellent gentleman manners and Ethan had grown up close to them.
She waited for him to close the door. Instead he just stared at her, his brows crinkling together like he was thinking hard.
“So even Claire and Charlotte got married?” he asked. Those two were already married to their husbands.
She laughed. “Yes. It’s not a legally binding ceremony. It’s a commitment to self, to love, honor, and cherish. To accept my flaws, to be kind to myself. We even went on a honeymoon.”
He smirked.
She wagged her finger at him. “I know what you’re thinking with that smirk, but it was actually a beautiful thing. We all stayed in Claire’s penthouse suite and spent the whole day Saturday being pampered at the hotel spa. I feel like a new woman.”
His gaze dropped to her mouth. He met her eyes, his expression unreadable. “Congratulations to you and yourself. Top down or up?”
“Thank you! It’s good up.”
He shut the door and got in the driver’s side. She was suddenly hyperaware of him in the close confines of the Jeep. His woodsy male scent, his large hand on the gear shift, his strong profile, his utter composure. There was a stillness on the surface of him that made her want to find out what was underneath. Did he ever let go? Did he have moments of excitement?
And why did it matter?
She gave herself a mental head shake.
He pulled out of the lot. “Pizza okay?”
“Sure.” She stared out the window, barely seeing the passing scenery—trees in a blur of fall colors—while her thoughts jumped all over the place. Sexy Ethan. Her spectacular relationship face-plants. The painful aftermath. The sologamy ceremony. Exactly how long did she need to commit to herself before letting a man into her life? Six months? A year?
Could she take the edge off this lust with a friends-with-benefits situation? It didn’t have to be a big thing, right? It wouldn’t be jumping in with both feet if she just tiptoed into this one small part of being with a guy.
“I’m glad you could make it today,” he said gruffly.
She turned to him and worked hard to sound normal—not like a sex-addled woman on the verge. “Me too. This fitness stuff is really starting to work for me. Like I actually look forward to it and feel better afterward.”
“That’s kind of the point.”
“Okay, Mr. Muscles.”
He flashed a rare big smile. Her breath caught, her heart hammering. Oh, this was bad, bad, bad. He had way too big an effect on her.
“I thought I was Mr. Tough Guy,” he said.
She tore her gaze away. “You’re both.”
His voice was gentle. “Is that good?”
“Only you can answer that.” Because she was rapidly melting into a puddle of lust.
He was quiet.
“Did you bring extra weight in your backpack again?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Mr. Muscles Tough Guy for sure.”
He laughed, a short bark of a laugh.
She fingered the silver heart, her skin hot underneath the cool metal.
~ ~ ~
Ethan tried not to think too hard on Ally’s wedding to herself and what it all meant during their lunch, but his mind kept circling back to it. He waited until she had a chance to eat a slice of pizza and was pushing her salad around with a fork before saying, “So how did Claire get married to herself when she’s already married to Jake?” Chicken. That wasn’t the question he really needed to ask.
“I told you it’s not a legally binding ceremony.” She chomped on a crouton, looking thoughtful. “It’s more about honoring yourself. Vowing not to settle for less than you deserve, especially in relationships. Sets the bar higher, you know? I’m learning to be content as a single person. I guess you already figured all that out, but it’s new for me.”
He wasn’t content. He ached with want. Not just lust either. He wanted a home. A real home with a family of his own. His blood. Losing his foster mom weeks ago had put that all into perspective. “I guess,” he muttered.
Ally set her fork down. “Eth, for the first time in my life, I’m fully content to make my life fantastic all by myself.”
He finally spit it out. “So what’s the plan now that you’ve taken this vow? You gonna be single for a long time?”
She stared at the table. “I’m not sure. I’m still figuring things out.” She met his eyes, seeming to be searching his expression. “If the right person came along at the right time…”
He held his breath. Was he that right person? Did she see that in him?
She swallowed visibly, looking away. “The point is I’m not spending all my energy looking and hoping and wishing.”
“Huh.” So how long do I have to wait before I make a move?
She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “If by ‘huh,’ you mean awesome, then I agree.”
“Did you used to spend a lot of energy wishing?” He didn’t wish for anything. He made it happen or it didn’t.
She gave him a small almost sad smile. “Maybe it’s not the same for guys. I grew up wanting to be Cinderella and waiting for my prince.”
“Yeah, no fun to be waiting around for someone. Better to just live your life and then, if you do meet someone, go for it.” Once you get the signal, he added silently. He needed a signal.
She cocked her head and smiled sunnily. “Now where were you ten years ago?”
The blood rushed through his veins. “Right here working.”
She waved airily and then started gathering the trash from their meal. “Not literally. I was sixteen back then. That was the beginning of my romantic fantasies.”
He helped her gather the trash. “Tell me your fantasies.” He didn’t expect an answer. He’d been half teasing anyway.
“That’s exactly the point! They weren’t my fantasies. They were propaganda.” Her voice rose in indignation. “A sparkly glittery fairy tale where I’m passively waiting for the one perfect prince who will take me away from myself and gift me with eternal happiness.” She stood and glared down at him still sitting at the table. “You see how that could fuck someone up?”
He stood. “Yes.”
“Well, no more. I quit.” She marched over to the garbage can and shoved the trash in.
He followed suit. Then she smashed her large hat on top of her head and snarled, “Ready.”
“Easy, tiger. I’m not the enemy.”
“Sorry, I get really worked up about this. It’s not right that women have this stuff fed to them at such a young age. It really fucks with your head.”
He placed himself firmly on her side. “Where the hell would you find a prince anyway, right? Unrealistic.”
She laughed. “It’s not actual royalty. It just means a man who’s handsome, strong, spouts poetry, makes you feel like you’re the center of his world.”
He would do all of that if it meant he could have Ally in his life. He headed for the exit and held the door open for her. “Poetry,” he said as she passed, “sounds like a wuss.”
She laughed. “Tough guy.”
Pace yourself.
Once they were on their way to the reservation, he asked in a teasing voice, “Think you can keep up with me on this hike?”
“I’m sure gonna try. As long as it’s not an uphill climb.”
“Uh, didn’t I mention the cave’s at the top of the mountain?”
“A mountain!”
“Well, more like a large hill. Don’t worry. I’ll carry you if I have to.”
“You will do no such thing.”
He found himself smiling again. Couldn’t be helped. He dug her fighting spirit. He’d still carry her if she needed a break, though.
Turned out Ally didn’t need any assistance. This time she wasn’t dead last in their group of hikers, same people as last time, except for one of the Matts. She was definitely stronger than she’d been two weeks ago. She was working with a personal trainer, but most people didn’t have the carry through. They went at fitness halfheartedly. Ally was all in. He had a feeling she was like that with most stuff she got into. No wonder she was reluctant to consider a relationship. She probably threw herself into it one hundred percent, and if that wasn’t with a guy who appreciated her, it would just lead to a broken heart. He wanted to be that guy who appreciated her. The right guy.
He circled back on the trail and walked by her side. She was humming a happy-sounding tune. Last time she’d been so short of breath she could barely speak. “We’re almost at the cave,” he said. “We’ll stop for a break and Rob’ll tell everyone the legend. Mostly for your benefit. Most of us heard it last year.”
“Awesome.” She pushed her sweaty bangs off her forehead and they fell back all rumpled. “You don’t have to walk slow to keep me company.”
“I already reached the cave and doubled back.”
She blew out a breath. “I won’t comment on that.”
He grinned. “You want to call me something? Mr. Muscles?”
“No, weenie.”
He chuckled.
She grinned. “What’d you bring for a snack?”
“Nothing. I figured the pizza would see me through.”
“Oh. I brought homemade trail mix.”
“You hungry?”
“Not really. I’ll probably just throw it at your head for being such a smug hiker.” She did a deep-voiced impersonation of him. “Already doubled back.”
He barked out a laugh.
They walked in silence for a bit, the group getting farther and farther ahead of them as Ally slowed down on the steeper part of the trail.
“So-o-o,” he said, dragging out the word while he geared up for either a great response or a killer shutdown, “now that you’re solo married, if a guy asks you out, would you be open to it?”
She took off her hat and fanned herself with it, taking her time answering. He waited, the dread in his gut telling him he was getting the boot. At least he’d managed a stealth date with the lunch and hike. Still, if she wasn’t on board for more, he’d have to chalk today and their previous hike up to a friends thing.
Finally she squashed her hat back on her head and said, “Probably not. I’m on a real good kick here. I want to let it build momentum until it’s ingrained in my brain. A habit like taking good care of myself takes three weeks to make it stick.”
“How long’s it been?”
“Two weeks and I feel fantastic!”
“I…” He stopped himself. He could wait a week. He wasn’t desperate or anything. Besides, she was spending time with him.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
Finally they reached the cave and settled in with the group, everyone sitting on the hard-packed ground or a few downed logs. Rob told them the Furman legend. Basically what he’d already told Ally with some embellishments like “sometimes on a full moon you can hear his footsteps.” Spooky campfire stuff. After, they went and checked out the cave two at a time. He went with Ally.
“Pretty small cave,” she said, peering into the dark space.
“He lived here through long winters too. Harsh conditions. Good thing he was the Furman.”
She smirked. “Furry love.”
He smirked back. They were meeting on the same dirty wavelength. Excellent.
They walked away, letting the next group take a look. She wagged her finger at him. “You’re rubbing off on me.”
He smiled widely, enormously pleased about that. There was no reason not to make a plan with her a week from now. It was the three-week mark that she’d said meant she’d be open to a guy asking her out. “You ever been fishing?” he asked casually.
“No.”
“We should go. How’s next Sunday? Right here at the lake. I have a canoe and an extra fishing rod. It’s peaceful.”
Her face lit up and his hopes soared. “Then we can cook whatever we catch over a fire for dinner. I’ve never done that before!”
“It’s catch and release only. But I could bring some hot dogs.”
“And we could make s’mores!” Her blond bangs bounced in her excitement. “Omigod, this sounds amazing! Let’s make it a big party. You invite the guys. I’ll invite all my friends. It’ll be like a nature party.”
He deflated. “The canoe only fits two.”
She smacked his arm lightly. “We’ll take turns, silly. Or maybe we’ll just invite them for the campfire part. Great idea, Eth! I haven’t had s’mores in years!”
He bit back a sigh. “Awesome.”