Chapter Eleven
Ally followed a quiet Ethan upstairs to his bedroom, which was considerably cozier than the rest of his place. A Mission-style king-size bed with a warm natural wood finish dominated the space with a matching dresser and nightstands. The comforter was a deep green. It was almost like he slept in the forest—the furniture like trees, the blanket like moss or rich green grass. Outdoorsy like him.
She turned at the clatter of Ethan emptying his pockets onto the nightstand—keys, wallet, coins. Seemed like he was just going to strip down without bothering with a lot of foreplay. Cool. That was like the easiest signal that this was totally casual.
She kicked off her shoes and lifted her sweater over her head, hanging it over the footboard for later. She heard a sharp intake of breath and then he was next to her, his rough palms spanning her ribs.
“Ally, you are luscious.” His voice was gravelly, his gaze locked on her breasts still cradled in her pink satin bra. Her breasts were on the larger side; most men got a kick out of them.
“Thanks.”
His hands slowly slid up her ribs, his gaze still glued to her breasts.
She kept her hands to herself because it was starting to feel like foreplay on his end and she needed to make sure they were on the same page. “Eth, before this goes any further, I want to make sure we’re clear on the nature of this relationship.”
He closed his eyes as if pained and his hands stilled on the sides of her breasts. His voice sounded strained. “You want to talk about the relationship now?”
“This isn’t a relationship.”
“You just said…” He shook his head and dropped his hands. His gaze met hers. “Yes, it is. We had three dates.”
“We did not.”
He retrieved her sweater and handed it to her. “You want to talk, put this on.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m not.”
She tossed her sweater to the side. “I just want to be clear, that’s all. Naked is where this is headed.”
He looked to the ceiling, his chest heaving in and out. Then he pinned her with a hard look, not even peeking at her breasts. “Fishing,” he barked, holding up a finger. “Two hikes plus lunch that I paid for and snacks that I shared.” Another two fingers went up. “That’s three dates. I picked you up at your place and dropped you off. I gave you the shirt off my back.”
She warmed at the memory of his generosity. “You did. I really appreciated it.” And she’d kept it too because she’d loved the chivalrous gesture.
His gaze dipped to her cleavage before he jerked his head up. “You think I do that for just anyone?”
Her brows scrunched together. She had thought it was just his generous nature. Also, those so-called dates hadn’t made her a nervous wreck. Sure, she’d fussed a little, but not nearly to the level she normally would if she’d known it was an actual date. Not only that, she’d been wearing an unattractive tick-repellant outfit for two of them and looked like a drowned rat on the other after an unexpected dive in the lake. She couldn’t believe she’d been dating Ethan all this time without knowing it after she’d committed herself to singlehood!
He pushed a lock of her hair back over her ear. “I get the feeling I wasn’t clear enough. No, I don’t do that for just anyone. I typically fly solo or go out with the guys. I’ve never invited a woman to go hiking or fishing with me.”
“You let me into your private sanctuary,” she whispered as it hit her how special his dates really were. And she’d not been quiet in his peaceful sanctuary at all.
He didn’t respond; instead his hand went to her bare back, slowly sliding up and down, heating her and bringing a delicious shiver.
“I hope I didn’t disturb your communing with nature,” she said.
“No, you added to it.” He cupped her jaw with his free hand, his other hand splayed on her back. “We clear now?”
Her heart fluttered madly. “So this is casual, right?” she blurted. “Like friends with benefits?”
He removed his hands from her body and she immediately felt the loss. “I don’t have women friends,” he said through his teeth.
She parked a hand on her hip. “What about Cali and Mad?”
“Partner and like a sister. You know I grew up with Mad.” His eyes were locked on hers, studiously avoiding her topless state. “Now are we good?”
She wrung her hands together. “Eth, I have a terrible track record with men. I just jump in and—”
“You already told me about your love life. Four years with Dean, quickly engaged to Mark.” His eyes were hard and direct. “You’ve been messing around with the wrong men, that’s all.”
“But that’s just it. I don’t mess around. I know I was only with Mark for six weeks, but we were almost married. I’m pretty much a long-term monogamist, and now I’m trying to take things slow, figure out what will make me happy, you know, like you said, find my purpose. I don’t want to—”
“I wouldn’t call running away from the altar after a six-week relationship a sign of a long-term monogamist.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why do I hear a judgy tone, Mr. Judgy McJudgy Pants.”
He flashed a smile before getting serious. “Sorry, it’s just that you seem to dive in with gusto, like with this movie star assistant thing, your single me, happy me thing, but with guys, I think you’re skittish.”
She stiffened. He saw right through her. No one had ever looked that deeply. She let out a shaky breath and sat on the edge of his bed.
He remained standing, solid and strong.
She folded her hands in her lap and stared at them. “I’ve never told anyone this before, the real reason Dean and I broke up…” She blew out a breath. “It wasn’t just because he wasn’t ready to settle down. I—” Her voice choked.
The bed creaked as Ethan sat next to her, sliding an arm around her bare shoulders.
She cleared her throat, blinking away the hot sting of tears. God, she didn’t want to talk about this, but she needed Ethan to understand why she was such a mess. “I got pregnant.”
He let out a harsh breath of air and she barreled on. “This was a year after college. We weren’t careful, maybe because we’d been together so long it just seemed inevitable we’d get married one day. I lost the baby two weeks later. He was there for me the entire time, through the fear and shock of pregnancy and through the grief and pain of miscarriage.” She swiped at her eyes. “He waited until I finally felt recovered, felt really good about the relationship, like this was a man who would stand by me through thick and thin, and then he pulled the rug out from under me. He dumped me, saying he wasn’t ready to settle down.”
“And you still wanted to start up with him again?” Ethan asked incredulously.
She glanced at him, sure he was judging her, but too distraught to work up much temper. “I believed him that he wasn’t ready to settle down. It was heavy stuff. And I really believed in the fantasy of a romantic happy-ever-after. I clung to that fantasy prince idea so hard, waiting and hoping, never moving forward with any man. Except Mark.” She lifted her palms. “All I can say is temporary insanity brought on by the pain I was in.” Her chin wobbled and she covered her face with her hands. Now he knew her worst secret. Talk about a mood killer.
He pulled her hands off her face and held them. “Ally, I’m not like him. You can trust me. I’ll take care with you.”
She bit her lip and nodded, appreciating his reassurance even knowing it would never be easy for her to trust and have faith in another man.
Ethan gave her hand a small squeeze. “I’m not gonna mess with your head, or your heart.”
She stared at him, speechless at his simple yet expressive words. No man had ever uttered anything like it before. A surge of deep affection turned her to absolute mush and she gave him a tight hug.
He rubbed her back, soothing her, his voice a deep rumble. “No pulling the rug out from under you, I promise.” He pulled back and tipped her chin up. “I like you and want to spend time with you.”
She blinked back tears, overwhelmed by his sincerity and tenderness. “That means a lot, really, I wish it was that easy for me to really believe.”
“Then I’ll have to prove it to you.”
“No, Eth. You don’t have to make up for—”
“Yes, I do.”
She hugged him again, snuggling close against his solid chest. “You’re so good.”
His low chuckle rumbled against her ear. A moment later, he peeled her off him and stood. “Not that good. I’m going to get a cold shower.”
“No, wait!” She stood and threw her arms around his neck. “I want you.”
“I want you too,” he said gruffly.
She glowed under his tender gaze. That he still wanted her even knowing her secret, how screwed up she’d become in her dealings with men, made her feel lighter than she had in years. She slid her hands under his shirt. “Let’s not define the relationship. No more heavy stuff, okay?”
He gave her a slow sexy smile before kissing her gently. “My sentiments exactly.”
“Are you big on foreplay, or can we just get to it? I’d really like to just get to it.”
He barked out a laugh and framed her face with his hands. “No more talking. I need to focus.”
“Oh, okay.” She yanked down her jeans and panties. “Ready.”
He swore and pulled her against him, his fingers tunneling into her hair as he kissed her long and deep. God, she’d missed being with a man and this one was spectacular in every possible way. She stopped thinking altogether. He kissed her for a crazy long time, pulling away just enough to unclasp her bra and toss it before kissing her some more, his hands roaming up her sides, over her shoulders, down her back like he was learning her body by feel instead of sight. He made her melt into a slow burn of need, not rough and hard like Mark or quick and to the point like Dean. Ethan took his time like he wanted to enjoy her.
She wanted to enjoy him too. She yanked at his shirt and he broke the kiss, tearing it off and flinging it to the side.
“You’re the luscious one,” she said, her hands roaming from his amazing abs with ridges galore on up to his chest and massive bulging shoulders. She lifted her gaze to his eyes burning with raw desire, yet he was so restrained, letting her explore while his hands rested on her waist. That meant so much, like he took care with her just like he said he would. Her eyes stung with unexpected tears and she covered by grabbing his waistband. “Lemme see more luscious.”
He stripped out of his jeans and boxer briefs. Her mouth went dry. “Yes,” she croaked.
He smiled and then wrapped his arms around her, kissing her and pulling her into the bed, under him.
“Grab a condom,” she urged, expecting a hard thrust any moment.
“I will, not yet.” He settled between her legs, holding his weight off her with his forearms on either side of her head. He was hard muscle from head to toe, pressing against her softness. He stroked her hair back from her face, sliding his hand down to cradle her jaw. He gazed into her eyes and her breath hitched. Then he kissed her, long deep wet kisses that made her melt into the mattress. She’d never felt so relaxed and so turned on at the same time. Her hands roamed up and down his back, loving the feel of him, solid and strong, his skin hot to the touch.
He shifted to trail kisses down the side of her neck, taking his time, kissing and then running his tongue along the cord of her neck, tasting her. She shivered. He worked his way down, holding her breast cupped in his large hand, lifting it to his mouth, where his tongue flicked rapidly over her nipple.
“Oh!” she cried.
His mouth closed over her breast, pulling her nipple to the roof of his mouth, suckling deep. Her hips lifted of their own accord. Her pulse pounded in her ears, electric sensations racing along her skin, the throbbing between her legs insistent, begging for release.
“Eth, I’m so ready.”
He shifted to the other breast, giving it the same lavish attention. Her insides clenched, tight and hot and wet. She was so close already. She cupped his head, holding him to her even as part of her wanted him to just take her and ease this fierce ache.
Finally he lifted his head and cupped both breasts in his hands, massaging them. She moaned and spread her legs, practically begging for him there.
He kissed down her belly, making her quiver, and then to her hip and down her leg, surprising her. No man had ever kissed her legs. It had always been boobs and pleasure town. He pushed her leg open and kissed behind her knee, making her jolt at the unexpectedly sensitive spot. His mouth was magic—perfect firmness, perfect pressure, like the most perfect kisses but on the rest of her. She moaned and ached and reveled in the pleasure he gave so generously.
He worked his way back up to her inner thigh, his fingers finally touching where she needed him most in one long sure stroke and then inside. He lifted his finger. “You’re so wet.” He sucked that finger in an erotic gesture that made her grab his shoulders, desperately trying to pull him up her body and inside her. She couldn’t budge him.
“Now, now,” she urged.
“Shh,” he murmured, pushing her other leg to the side and kissing along the inside of her thigh while his fingers stroked her intimately, learning her by feel again, everywhere. She trembled with need.
His fingers left her aching sex and shifted to stroke up her side as he maneuvered himself back up her body, kissing and tasting along the way. Her hips moved restlessly, not used to so much waiting. And it had been so-o-o long. Finally he was fully in position, between her legs, his head hovering just over hers.
His thumb stroked her lower lip. “You’re so beautiful, so sexy.”
Her heart squeezed at his generosity, taking such care with her. She stroked his jaw, just a hint of scruff on it. “You too,” she managed.
He kissed her, another long and deep kiss that would’ve swept her off her feet had she been standing. Finally he broke the kiss and eased his body off her, getting out of bed.
“Wait!” She reached for him.
He took her hand and kissed the palm. “Getting protection.”
She closed her eyes, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment over her desperate need to have him. And then he was back, his heat and weight so welcome.
He kissed her and spoke against her lips. “Wrap your legs up high around my waist. It’ll make it easier for you. Open you up.”
“Oh, God.” She did as he said.
He didn’t thrust, more like eased himself in, giving her body time to adjust. He kissed her forehead, then her nose, then her mouth. “I love how tight you are,” he said against her lips.
She sighed and then he slid home, stealing her breath.
He cradled her face with one hand, still and restrained. “You doing okay?”
She nodded happily and grabbed his ass. “You don’t have to hold back anymore.”
He grazed his lips over hers. “This won’t be quick. We’ve both waited for this.”
Their gazes locked. Her breath came faster, every part of her alive and aware, filled like she’d never felt before. She tightened her inner muscles around him and they both groaned. He started moving then, deep thrusts that made her ache, nearly leaving her before filling her again. It made her wild. She urged him on, but he kissed her, his tongue thrusting in her mouth, quieting her. She felt taken, claimed by his mouth and powerful thrusts, carried along by his sure strokes. The orgasm snuck up on her, making her gasp into his mouth and he kept going, faster now, his head lifting to watch her as he took her in hard thrusts that brought wave after wave of pleasure. His head snapped back, the cords of his neck strained, and then he let go with a harsh primal sound that sent another pulse of pleasure through her.
He stilled, giving her his weight for a long moment before lifting his head and kissing her soundly on the mouth.
“Mmm,” she said and closed her eyes in satiated bliss.
He shifted to the mattress next to her. Then he reached over and held her hand.
A slow smile spread across her face so big she could feel it at the corners of her eyes. She floated in a rare state of absolute contentment. Perfection.
~ ~ ~
Ethan was not a desperate man, particularly where women were concerned. He was the king of cool, troubles rolled off his shoulders, and he moved right along.
But the minute Ally rolled out of his bed, where he’d just had the best sex of his life, with a cheery “thank you!” he veered embarrassingly close to desperate. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end, his fingers tingled with the need to touch, to hold her close even after sexual satisfaction, and his dormant heart lurched to life with a pang of longing so intense he had to force himself not to grab her and haul her back to bed.
“Don’t thank me,” he growled, propping up on one elbow.
She looked around, still gloriously naked, probably trying to locate her bra, which he’d heaved a distance away. “Can you get up? I need you to drive me home.” She pulled on her panties and jeans, then looked under the bed and straightened suddenly, making her gorgeous breasts bounce. “Where’s my bra?”
He faked a yawn and lay flat on his back. “I’m tired. Can I take you home in the morning?”
She leaned over him, her luscious breasts brushing his chest, tempting him. “I’m so sorry, but it’s a school night. Stay awake, okay?” Her soft hair trailed over his cheek and he pushed it back behind her ear before cradling her head. “I have work in the morning, and spending the night feels like more than…”
His voice came out hoarse. “More than what?”
She straightened, pushing off the bed. “Never mind. I’ll call Missy or Lexi for a ride. Sabrina will ask too many questions.”
He wrapped his fingers around her wrist before she could make her escape, stroking the underside with his thumb. She stared at his hand.
He worked on enticing her. “If I make it worth your while, will you stay?” Said the lion to the lamb.
“What would make it worth my while?” Her voice was all breathy. Awesome.
He smirked. “What all women want.”
“You know what all women want?”
He gave a tug, pulling her on top of him.
“Eth!” She propped up on his chest and gave him a disgruntled look.
He framed her face with his hands. “Stay till morning and I’ll show you. I promise to get you to work on time.”
Her eyes went soft and she quickly looked away, focusing on a spot near his ear. “This isn’t a relationship if I spend the night.”
He stroked her back, soothing her. She was skittish; he understood why now. He wanted to throttle Dean but, at the same time, thank him for letting Ally go. She didn’t belong with a man who couldn’t deal with the consequences of his actions.
She belonged with him.
He cupped the back of her neck, drew her down, and kissed her gently. “We don’t need a label.”
She relaxed, shifting to his side. “Okay, I’ll spend the night.” She shimmied off her jeans and tossed them.
He let out a quiet breath of relief, turned off the light on the nightstand, made sure the blanket was on both of them, and pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She cuddled up against his side, resting her head on his chest right over his heart.
With no prompting from him, she got chatty, telling him all about her new goals, dreams, and quest for fulfilling experiences now that she was solo married. He liked that she confided in him. He didn’t even raise a peep of concern when she said she was seriously thinking of taking that job with Claire. She was ready for adventure. He let her get it all out, making sure he responded with encouraging comments when appropriate, but all he could think was, get it out of your system. Go nuts. And then come back to me.
Because this wasn’t a onetime thing.
All cuddled up like that, her softness pressed close, filled him with satisfaction. He’d intended another round or two, but the sheer contentment of holding her made him relax into a deep sleep.
He woke early as usual and took her in, her blond hair mussed, her cheeks pink, her lashes resting on her soft cheeks, her sexy mouth with the dip at the top lip and the fullness of her lower lip, those luscious breasts.
Her eyes fluttered open. “Hi.”
He smiled, his chest aching like his heart would burst at this moment he’d longed for with every cell in his being—waking up with a woman who made him smile. “Hi.”
“What time is it?”
“Still early. Only six.”
She stretched. “I usually get up at seven.”
“Gives us time for what women want.”
“And just how do you know this fact?” she asked, all saucy.
He kissed her smiling mouth. “Spread your legs for me, beautiful.”
Her breath hitched and she immediately threw back the covers, pulled off her panties, and did as he asked. He went rock hard and then had to rein himself in with the tight restraint needed to control himself. He’d always been barely leashed energy. Ally was special and deserved what tenderness he could give.
He started with gentle kisses on her sexy mouth, pausing frequently to gaze into her wide blue eyes, so open and trusting despite her best efforts to protect herself. She didn’t have it in her to turn off her open loving nature. He reminded himself to take care. When he was sure he had enough control, he shifted down her body, proving he knew exactly what he was talking about. Yeah, he went down on her. All women wanted that. Just like all guys loved a blowjob.
And she loved it. Her nails dug into his shoulders, her hips rose up to meet him, she moaned and whimpered, and he held her to his pace, slowing down when she was close, more aggressive when she relaxed. When he finally pushed her over the edge, she bowed off the mattress with a keening cry.
When he rose up over her and grinned, she grabbed him and hugged him tight, thanking him profusely. That only made him want to do it more. But she begged him to fuck her, so what could he do?
Much later, she cheerfully made them both breakfast, French toast with scrambled eggs, all while telling him about her first-grade class and the plans she had for the week. He made the coffee, practically whistling to himself. It was clear she loved kids despite her restless quest for life outside the classroom. Like him, she had a lot of energy. He could easily picture her raising wild energetic kids who hiked and fished and camped. His blood, his family.
Rein it in.
She joined him at the table a short while later and, even though he usually just had coffee in the morning, he ate everything with gusto. She asked him about himself and he gave her small pieces of it, his closeness with the Campbell family and his foster brother, Zach, his satisfaction with his job, his tight ties to the community. She already understood about his love for the outdoors. He left out the harsher side of his life—his crummy childhood bouncing from the orphanage to a series of foster homes. Left out the seedier side of his job—the arrests that had turned violent, requiring him to subdue the perp, the ugly domestic situations he’d been called into. He wouldn’t sully her. He wanted to keep her just like this—untouched by the harsher side of life. Besides, no one wanted to hear the sob story of an orphan who’d never been adopted. It made him look pathetic, the boy nobody wanted. He’d made a man of himself through sheer determination and the support of his chosen family, the Campbells.
“You ever been camping?” he asked.
“I did an overnight with the Girl Scouts once,” she replied. “We all slept in a huge log cabin like a giant slumber party.”
“No, I mean real camping. Like sleeping under the stars.”
“On the ground?” she asked, crinkling her nose. “Like all exposed to bears and bugs and snakes?” She shuddered.
“Could be in a tent.” He offered a more civilized version, though he preferred real camping—ground underneath, sky above.
“Sounds rough.”
“It’s fun. Great to get away from civilization and back to the basics.”
She grinned. “As long as the basics include a bathroom with a shower, I’m game.”
“City slicker,” he teased.
“I’ll have you know I’m a suburb girl through and through.”
“Could be an adventure,” he said, playing to her quest for new experiences. “Call of the wild. Bring out all your primitive instincts.” He smirked, thinking how awesome sex in the great outdoors with Ally would be.
“I can be primitive just as easily in a soft bed if you’re with me.” She gave him a sweet smile. “You made me feel so good. Thank you.”
He flushed with pride, his chest bursting with happiness. He leaned across the table, hooked his fingers around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. “My pleasure.” He released her and settled back into his chair. “Still think a vibrator is better than a man?”
She beamed radiantly, pure sunshine. “It’s like you said before when we both agreed men suck—you’re the exception.”
Pure satisfaction washed through him. “Thanks.” He soaked her in, hoping he could keep this thing going long enough to actually reel her in because he was already sunk.