Chapter Twelve
Nicholas stood before Maddy, uncertain of what to say. How to explain. But first, an apology. “I do beg your pardon for his rudeness.” And then he led her to the settle, pushing her shoulders lightly so she would be seated. After tending the fire, he poured them each a cup of wine and sat down beside her.
His gaze on the flames, he began to talk. “As an agent of the queen here in the North, my father needed help. Because his work was covert, and decidedly against the interests of northerners, he was forced to depend on my brother and me from the time we were young lads. Before Richard died, I acted as Father’s secretary—writing missives, listening and taking notes on reports from various spies, arranging meetings, and the like. But after my brother’s death, Father expected me to assume Richard’s duties.” Folding his hands, he lowered them between his knees.
Maddy’s voice was soft. “And you did so?”
He glanced at her, then back to the flames. “I did as he ordered. Brought prisoners to him and watched many unfortunate souls beat senseless, sometimes even killed, for providing the wrong information, or none at all. As you might guess, this work has increased ten-fold since the rebellion. I have never…taken to it.”
“Your father beats people to death before your eyes?” She couldn’t hide her disgust. He understood.
“No, of course not. He would not bloody his own hands unless he had no other choice. Richard was more like my father, always strangely fascinated with the whole bloody business. And now I am trapped and know not how to extricate myself.”
“Can you not simply tell him you no longer wish to do this work?”
“It is not that simple. I have Daniel to care for. I don’t own my own property or have any other home. And I do believe in their ends. What I am sick to death of is their murderous, conniving, deceitful means.”
“What exactly are their ends?”
“A unified England, ruled over by the queen in all her royal majesty, with no citizens questioning her God-given right to be our monarch.”
Maddy cast him a skeptical look. “You sound as though you are mocking the queen’s right to rule rather than defending it.”
“Forgive me, I’ve grown cynical. I strongly believe England should be ruled by an English monarch, the rightful queen, Elizabeth. It is the only way forward. The fact that the rebel earls looked to foreign powers for aid…can you imagine what chaos would ensue if Spain invaded? Propped up by the Pope?” He shifted his body so that he was looking directly at her. “But I am much aggrieved over the queen’s brand of justice. I did not like the executions of the rebels any more than you did.”
“Then you were telling the truth the day you brought me to Lanercost, that you lost friends in the rising?”
“Aye. Men from Brampton I’d known all my life.”
She seemed stunned. “So everything you’ve done regarding me, including forcing me to spy, was on your father’s orders?”
He faced her, his gaze steady. “Aye.”
“Against your conscience, against your morals, you still carried on because your father ordered you to?” She sprang up and set her cup of wine on the desk. “I must go.”
She had judged him and found him lacking.
He had to convince her to stay so he could explain further. Pushing to his feet, he said, “No. It’s early yet, you haven’t eaten. And I’m sure you have more to tell me.”
“I’ve lost my appetite. And I have told you everything.”
Nicholas stepped closer to her. “You said there was more about Vine.”
“Nothing significant.” She reached for her basket. “Would you summon Margery and ask if my clothing is dry? I will need my cloak.”
“Pray, Madeleine, do not run away from me.” He placed a hand on her arm, keeping his touch gentle. “Sit down and give me leave to explain.”
Maddy searched his face, and he sensed the exact moment she relented. Her lovely eyes softened, and his heart galloped. For whatever reason, she’d decided he deserved a hearing, and he was grateful for it. For her trust. She set the basket down and returned to the settle. “I am all ears.”
He gave a brisk nod and continued his tale. “I had made up my mind to leave the queen’s business, as soon as the work relating to the rising was at an end. The executions, you see, were beyond what I could tolerate. And when I was at my lowest, wondering how I would endure, you came into my world and threw me off balance.”
She shook her head. “I did?”
“I expected you to be a hardened wench. A woman in battle would by necessity be rough around the edges, would she not? Instead, you were brave and strong and…brave.” He’d meant to say “captivating,” but thought better of it. When he stole a glance at her, her cheeks bloomed with color.
“Why did you keep on with it, then? Why were you cruel to me?”
“Because it would have been the end for you if I had not!” He’d been standing, but now crouched down before her. “Don’t you see? What reason could I have invented for letting you go? It had already been decided that you were the one to be placed at the priory. I was merely making certain the correct decision had been made.”
“How did they even know of me?”
He sighed, got to his feet, and put some distance between them. “I was your captor. At the battle, I was one of the men who—”
“You! Now I remember. Your hair, your beard. They were shorter, as they are now. That is why I thought earlier I had seen you somewhere before this nightmare began.”
Wincing, he said, “Yes.”
“After you questioned me, you could have said I wasn’t suitable. Had you wanted to, you might have invented a plausible reason for letting me go.”
“They were never going to let you go, Madeleine. Do you think they would have sent you home with a pat on the head? No, I fear they would have gotten rid of you, not at the block or the gibbet, but by taking you out of your cell and slitting your throat, then throwing your body into the Eden. No one would have inquired too closely.”
She shook her head as if to clear it. “But why?”
His father would rage if he found out what Nicholas was revealing. But, for the first time in years, he cared deeply about something. Someone. He would not hold back, his father be damned. “Why would they let you live unless you could serve some purpose? You were a traitor in their eyes. After executing hundreds, do you think they would have balked at one more? So I did what I could. I made sure your cell had fresh straw, that you had food and drink. I tried to make you comfortable, and as soon as I could, I removed you, to get you ready for this mission.”
“But you were so cold to me. I thought you hated me.”
“Quite the contrary.” He would love to take her in his arms, but he knew she would not countenance it. Instead, he reached out and traced a finger down her face. Her skin was soft as a rose petal. Nicholas wished they had the time, the freedom, to explore what they might mean to each other and follow where that would lead. Maddy held still, her eyes closed. Until suddenly she seemed to realize what was happening. Her eyes snapped open and she drew away.
“What do we do now?”
Grasping her hands, he said, “We finish this. We work out what is going on at the priory—and rest assured, something is—and then we’re done with it.”
Her expression guarded, Maddy tugged her hands from his grasp. “And will your father let me live? Let me go home?”
“He would not go against me, provided our work is fruitful.”
“And if it isn’t?”
“It will be. It already has been. Father will be very satisfied when he sees the contents of Norfolk’s letter.”
“There is no escape for me, is there? You, at least, will have a choice.” He heard the resentment in her voice, understood what she must be thinking. Maddy had sacrificed her own freedom to avenge her brother’s death, and it had gained her nothing. In her mind, her future looked grim. He couldn’t argue; there was no escape for her at present. “I truly must take my leave now. The sun is low.”
Sighing, Nicholas rose and summoned Margery to bring Maddy’s clothing, but she returned without it. “Mistress, your things are still damp. Especially your cloak.”
“Is there a traveling cloak of Susan’s she could wear?” Nicholas asked.
“I’ll get it.” Margery returned shortly with the cloak and a package tied with a string. “Your clothing, mistress.” Maddy retrieved her basket and tucked the package inside.
Out front, a groom led two horses toward them. The palfrey Maddy was riding and his own sleek gelding, Raven. “I am accompanying you,” Nicholas told her. “Arguing with me will be a waste of breath.” A servant handed him cloak, gloves, and hat, and soon they were both mounted. The groom secured her basket to the side of the horse, and they walked together toward the road. They had not gone far before Nicholas heard a sudden commotion and smiled. It would be Daniel. He should have allowed the lad to say farewell to Maddy, but given the fraught discussion they’d been having, he’d forgotten. They reined in the horses.
The boy was running toward them, his short legs pumping.
Nicholas glanced at her. “Stay put.” He dismounted and gathered Daniel into his arms. “Do not cry, Sir Mouse,” he said. “You must be a brave knight if you want Mistress Madeleine to pay attention to you.” Nicholas settled the boy in Maddy’s lap, then steadied her mount.
“You are a brave and fearless knight,” she said. “I could tell that as soon as I met you, Master Daniel. Or should I call you ‘Sir Mouse’?” Daniel smiled, burrowed against Maddy’s breast, and then kissed her cheek. Nicholas looked on, musing. After Maddy had kissed the child, Nicholas lifted him down and into Margery’s grasp.
“Fare thee well until next time,” Maddy called after him, waving. Nicholas marveled over how loving she was with Daniel. There was nothing false about her dealings with him.
As they set out once again, Nicholas said, “It had not occurred to me last time that you probably remind him of Susan.” He hesitated a moment before asking, “Do you still wish me to tell you why he does not talk?”
“Yes, if you will.” Her anger seemed to have dissolved. As Nicholas knew from personal experience, it was difficult to sustain an ill humor after a hug and kiss from Daniel.
They clip-clopped along companionably, and at length Nicholas began his tale. “Susan, Daniel’s mother, died in childbirth a few years ago, along with her baby. A sister for the lad, had she lived. And then my brother, Richard, was killed last year, on the queen’s work.”
“How sad,” Maddy said.
“Aye. After the boy’s mother died, he seemed to shrink into himself. At four years old, he’d already possessed a prodigious vocabulary. He continued to talk, although not so much as before. He was altogether more subdued. And then after Richard died, he spoke less and less, until I realized one day he’d stopped speaking altogether.”
“Is there anything to be done?”
“Not according to the physician we consulted. He believes, with time, Daniel will find his voice.”
“It must isolate him from other children.”
“Not as much as you might think,” Nicholas said. “There aren’t many children about. But he sees them at church, at the market, and on holy days. The other boys seem happy enough to include him in their play.”
“You are very good with Daniel.”
He was shocked—and ridiculously pleased—that she would pay him such a compliment. “Am I? He trails after me everywhere I go. I believe he fears I might disappear one day, as both his parents did.”
“In a child that age, it seems like a logical conclusion. Sir Mouse seems to look upon you as a father.”
Nicholas smiled. “Only natural, I suppose. I enjoy playing with him. My father believes I overindulge the boy, but as you’ve observed, he is an easy child to love.”
“That he is. How fortunate he has you as his guardian.”
Embarrassed, Nicholas shrugged off her praise. “I hope you will judge me more by my treatment of Daniel than by—”
“The way you’ve dealt with me?” She met his probing gaze, but she did not yield. She might believe in his devotion to Daniel, but theirs was a completely different kind of relationship. Though earlier he’d sensed she was ready to trust him, he’d obviously been mistaken.
To break the awkwardness, he said, “Now will you give me the rest of your information?”
“Back to the spy business? Truly, there is not much to impart.” She related her difficulties with Norfolk’s letter. “I stepped behind Lady Dacre’s privacy screen while I was looking for the coffer and discovered she has a prie-dieu and a religious tapestry. From the look of it, it might have hung in a monastery at one time. That surprised me.”
“Probably from the abbey at Lanercost. The Dacres at the priory are supposed to be Protestant, but many who have pledged themselves to the reformed religion secretly keep to the old faith, as you well know.”
“Thomas Vine sneaked into the bedchamber just as I had locked the letter back in the coffer. He gave me such a fright, I nearly screamed.”
“Sweet Mother of Christ. What did you do?”
“I acted as if I belonged there and challenged him on what right he had to be in Lady Dacre’s chamber. He claimed he heard ‘someone skulking about,’ which was utter nonsense. In the passage, after we left the room, I commented on the fact that he’d made himself scarce for the earl’s visit. I realized my mistake immediately. He is not a man to needle. He slammed me against the wall and asked me what I knew.”
Nicholas reined in his horse. “He hurt you? Damn the man! Do not bait him, I beg you. Obviously, he has something to hide and fears you’ve found him out.”
“I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, and he seemed to believe me.”
“I do not want you to risk your personal safety, Madeleine. Swear to me you will not.”
She had slowed her mount to a stop and looked at him incredulously. “Sir, that is an extraordinary demand, since you have placed me in a situation which, by its very nature, puts me at risk.” When he did not speak, she said, “You need not look as if you are beseeching God to save you from womankind.”
“And you need not make things worse by goading him.”
They sat there glaring at each other, until finally she spoke. “Very well. I will attempt to refrain from engaging in unnecessarily provoking behavior.”
Nicholas nodded curtly. That would have to suffice for now. “We must speed up; the hour grows late.”
For the rest of the journey, they moved at a fast clip, only slowing the horses to cross the bridge. The river churned beneath them, full of spring run-off. The water swept on toward its eventual joining with the Eden, strong and sure of itself. Nature had such strength of purpose.
Nicholas rode with Maddy until the priory gatehouse was in sight. “Probably better that I’m not seen. Next time, pray ask Lady Dacre for a groom to accompany you, or I shall ask her myself.”
“As you say, sir.”
Afternoon had given way to evening. Nicholas maneuvered his horse close to her. In the silver-gray light, he could barely make out her features. “Leave off calling me ‘sir,’ Madeleine. I think you know my name.” And then, against his better judgment, he leaned in and kissed her cheek, allowing his lips to linger long enough for her to know this was not an avuncular buss. “God keep you.”
Maddy was nearly to the gatehouse before she turned and looked at him. The light was disappearing, the sky now deep cobalt and violet, with a small crescent moon showing. He watched until she rode under the archway. She did not look back again.