Chapter Eighteen
Maddy and Nicholas were seated in the drawing room when Margery brought in the long-awaited missive from Lady Dacre. Daniel had been in and out, but now it was quiet. Maddy was sewing, working on a piece of embroidery designed and partially stitched by Daniel’s mother. Nicholas had given her leave to have any of Susan Ryder’s things she desired, and she’d found a treasure trove of fabric and silks in a chest in the blue chamber. Maddy was beginning to feel as though Susan was her second self. Or she hers.
Every so often, she looked up at Nicholas. After Easter, they had established a comfortable routine, and Maddy believed he enjoyed the peaceful times they spent together as much as she did, each of them with their heads bent over their work. Today he had been studying a map and reading various letters. He did not say, but Maddy felt sure these must have been from his father. A couple of times she’d caught him staring out the window, as though what he was learning upset him or required him to come to a decision.
“A letter for Mistress Vernon,” Margery said, handing it to her.
When Nicholas leaped to his feet, acting as if he might snatch it from her, she held up a hand to forestall him. “I’ll read it out loud,” she said, wondering if Christopher Dacre had written it for his stepmother. While Maddy broke the seal, Nicholas waited, arms crossed across his chest.
28 March 1570
My dear Madeleine,
I do heartily apologize for what befell you the night of the raid on the Lanercost property. My stepson and I were certain all the reivers had been chased off, and thus I was confident you would be safe. As you will remember, I saw you back to your bed myself. Had you remained there, I do not believe your abduction would have occurred. Nevertheless, I am most distressed over your suffering at the hands of those brutes and am only grateful the harm they inflicted on you was not worse.
I hope your recovery proceeds apace and you will soon be well enough to return to your duties here at Lanercost. I find I can hardly get along without you, my dear. You have made an old woman quite dependent on your kind offices.
Pray inform me of the date you may return to us.
“She signs it, ‘With regard, Lady Jane Dacre.’”
Nicholas huffed a sardonic laugh. “She regrets what happened, but obviously believes you brought it on yourself because you did not stay in your bed.” He paused, then said, “What think you, Maddy?”
“It is her way of scolding me for not doing as she bid. She truly wants me back, I’ll warrant.” Maddy said this while fighting a niggling voice reminding her of Lady Dacre’s actions the night of the raid. She’d been certain her employer was involved in whatever was going on.
Nicholas looked skeptical. “Has she asked herself why you did not remain in your bed? Why you were prowling about when you were still sick and weak? Does she wonder what you were up to? This is what worries me.” He rubbed at his beard. “She may have guessed you were spying.”
“Perhaps she’ll talk to me about all of that upon my return,” Maddy said, somewhat defensively. “I can explain what I was doing.”
“Truly? What will you say?” Before she could answer, he walked over and came down beside her on the settle. “I have reservations about your continuing employment at Lanercost.”
“But I am close, so close, to discovering something truly significant! I’ve already obtained much information that has been useful—Norfolk’s letter, Lady Dacre’s religious leanings, Dacre and Musgrave’s mention of the Scottish lairds. More. The fact that the raid was a ruse for a meeting between the Dacres and the lairds.”
Nicholas frowned and shook his head slowly. “Something is brewing. Things are coming to a head, else how to explain the clandestine visit with Ferniehurst? I am not sure it is safe for you to be there when the endgame is afoot.”
Maddy wanted to go back to salvage her pride. To atone for Robbie’s death. For Ann Dodd’s. And to redeem herself in Nicholas’s eyes. She had misread and misjudged so many things in the last months. She’d been impetuous and foolhardy and badly needed to see this through to the end. “Pray, do not forbid me to return, Nicholas. What else would you have me do? What fate would befall me, then?”
He pulled her up and held her close. “Do you think I would allow any ill to come to you? I would send you home, back to your family, first.”
Maddy thought of her lonely, depressing existence in the home of Robbie’s in-laws, where she was not valued except as one who looked after the children. With her brother dead, they owed her nothing. No, she did not wish to return to that life, although it was preferable to imprisonment. “What would your father say to that? Only a few weeks ago he threatened me, said things would not go well for me if he had to remove me from the priory. I cannot believe he would not have some say in the matter of my…of what was to become of me.”
“He is not here, Maddy, as you must know. And I don’t expect him back for some time. He is a hard man”—he gave a harsh laugh at that—“but he will not gainsay me on this.”
Maddy studied him and saw that he was sincere in his belief. “Why not?”
“Because we have discussed it. I told him that if he did not allow me the authority to deal with you according to my own conscience, I would cease my work for him. I would take Daniel and leave. He pretends this would not matter to him, but underneath his sometimes harsh exterior, he cares about us.”
Maddy was dumbfounded. She thought of what he’d told her, that he had no land, no money of his own. And yet he would go this far to protect her. “Oh, Nicholas.” She placed her hands on his chest and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed her. Not a friendly, reassuring brush of the lips, this, but a deeper, more sensual kiss that surprised them both. Maddy welcomed it.
He broke the kiss and pulled away long enough to assess her feelings on the matter, though how he could have been in doubt was beyond her understanding. Then he pressed his lips to hers again while his hands played down her spine, cupped her buttocks, and drew her close enough to feel his arousal.
Daniel chose that moment to burst through the door.
They leaped apart. The child seemed not to notice what they’d been doing. Obviously excited, he held out a palm on which a small toad rested, eyes bulging.
Maddy had to suppress a giggle. “Pardon me,” she said. “I am not overly fond of toads and will remove to my chamber.” On her way out the door, she heard Nicholas tell Daniel to find Margery and show her the creature.
“You have my permission to visit the stables, too. And let the toad go, Daniel. It belongs out of doors.”
Maddy paced about in her chamber. Would Nicholas come to her? She might die if he did not. Surely that was why he was so deviously getting rid of Daniel. Finding Margery, showing her the toad, pestering the stable lads—all of that would take at least an hour. The door clicked open, and she spun around.
There stood Nicholas on the threshold. He was as braw a man as she’d ever seen. His body overpowered the doorway. Holding quite still for a moment, he watched her, as though he thought she might turn him away. His eyes were full of want, and maybe a little madness. Maddy ran to him. He lifted her into his arms and steadied her while she wrapped her legs around his hips. He slid her skirts up, to make it easier for her.
“Are you sure you are well enough for this, sweeting? You have been so ill. I do not wish—”
“Hush. To the devil with all of that.”
He sat on the upholstered chair and she straddled him. They kissed, over and over. Soft, lush, kisses. Kisses that were in no hurry. Nicholas moved his hands up her calves and thighs toward her bottom, and then removed them to stroke her face tenderly. “You are beautiful, Maddy Vernon. You are so beautiful. I want you with my whole being.”
“Aye.”
Then he lifted her off his lap and began unfastening her bodice. Maddy undid the fastenings of her skirts, and he helped pull her kirtle over her head, so that she stood there wearing only her smock. When he made as if to lift her up to the bed, she protested. “Off with your clothing, Master Ryder.”
A roguish grin spread across his face, and in a moment he was naked as the day he was born, his organ hard and pressing against his belly. The beauty of him made Maddy gasp: his body formed and hardened by labor, with wide shoulders, sinewy chest, flat abdomen—and the aforementioned part. Nicholas closed the distance between them, backing her up toward the bed. “Have you looked your fill, mistress? Do I pass muster?”
In answer, Maddy pulled her smock off and let him see her. She was on the thin side since she’d been sick, but she was not ashamed of her body. Her breasts, though not large, had a roundness to them, and her nipples were a rosy color. She judged her legs to be shapely, tapering down to slim ankles. From the look on Nicholas’s face, her nakedness met with his approval.
After yanking the bedclothes down, he lifted her to the bed and crawled in. Her coupling with Musgrave—and she hated herself for thinking of him at this moment—had been quickly over. It had consisted of him pushing into her and thrusting until he’d spent.
But Nicholas put her pleasure above his own. His kisses were precious offerings. His hands stroked all over her body—her breasts and buttocks, arms, shoulders, and belly. Everything inside her came alive, and when his hands drifted down between her legs, she gasped, because that was exactly the place she felt hot and wet and quivering with need.
When she could wait no longer, she grasped him and brought him inside her, and they teetered toward the edge together. Maddy peaked first, then wrapped her legs around him, pulling him down and down into the spiraling joy along with her. She felt his seed flow into her, but something had burst from her and into him, too. Her better self, the part she had been closely guarding for so long. It belonged to him now.
Maddy had fallen deeply asleep, and when she awoke, it was to the soft drumming of rain on the roof. Nicholas was gone. On the bed table was a jar bursting with the striped roses, the Rosa mundi, with a note underneath. She reached over and extricated it.
Another kiss shall have my life
ended,
For to my mouth the first my
heart did suck;
The next shall clean out of my
breast it pluck.
She recognized Thomas Wyatt’s verse, and smiling, held the page to her breast until she heard sounds in the passage and realized Margery would soon be tapping on the door and entering to help her dress for supper. And here she lay, completely naked. Margery would know. Maddy’s cheeks flamed, but she spared no more time for lovesickness. She jumped from the bed, slipped on her smock, then went to the washstand, poured fresh water from the ewer into the bowl, and washed herself. Then she pulled on her kirtle and hastily dragged up the bedclothes and smoothed them into place.
If Margery suspected anything, she never let on.
…
The following morning was fine, and at last Nicholas agreed to take Maddy riding. She had been housebound for too many days and longed to venture out into the spring air, alive with the earth’s reawakening. They rode toward the Irthing and, in no hurry, walked their mounts side by side so that they could talk.
Since yesterday afternoon, it had been difficult not to break into a blissful smile whenever she laid eyes on Nicholas. So she was glad for this time alone, away from Daniel, away from servants. Nobody had voiced any concerns about their going off unchaperoned, for which she was grateful.
As soon as they reached the river, Nicholas slowed his horse and she did the same. They leaned toward each other, and he grasped the back of her head, pulling her into the rapturous kiss of new lovers. They sat for a moment with their foreheads resting together until finally the horses grew restive, then journeyed on in harmonious silence for a mile or two along the river.
Nicholas broke the silence. “We did not finish our conversation regarding your return to Lanercost, Maddy. Lady Dacre will be expecting an answer.”
“Will you not advise me?”
“Let’s stop here and refresh ourselves,” he said in answer. Her question hung between them. Maddy spread an old coverlet over the grass and Nicholas laid the food out—cold beef, manchet, cheese, sweetmeats, and a skin of wine.
The sunlit river sent up gem-like sparks of light, and the vibrant green of new leaves shimmered at the tips of the branches overhanging the water. She spotted a hawk soaring above them, zeroing in on his prey.
“This,” Maddy said, “is a perfect day.”
“And you are feeling well? Fully recovered?”
She tore a piece of bread from the loaf, unsure how to answer that. In her body, she was well and feeling more fit by the day. But her mind was unsettled and would remain so until she was certain of her future. “I want to go back to Lanercost, Nicholas. I know you don’t think it wise, but hear me out while I explain.”
He finished chewing a portion of beef before replying. “I am disinclined, but by all means, have your say.”
“’Tis as I said after I received Lady Dacre’s letter. We are right on the cusp of something big, something significant. You agreed with me. All my work thus far will be for naught unless I am there to discover it and bring it to you.”
“But in so doing you put yourself at great risk. I put you at great risk.” He threw down the piece of bread he’d been about to bite into and brushed crumbs off his hands. “These people are ruthless, Maddy. The more I learn of them, the more I see it.”
“Your man, the one who looks beneath the stone for messages from me. Could he stay close by the priory, so that if I needed help somebody would be nearby?”
Nicholas shifted, looking impatient. “If you are held prisoner, how would you get word to him?”
“If a day passes and he doesn’t see me—”
“By then it could be too late!”
She gave up all pretense of eating. “You didn’t seem to mind before, my being there. You were willing to ‘put me at risk,’ as you state it.”
“I always minded. And now the situation has grown more dangerous. The fact that the Dacres held a secret meeting with the lairds tells us that.” He scrubbed a hand across his face. “I have been in this business long enough to sense when the action is heating up, and I believe that time is now.”
“And that is exactly why I need to be there. I’m your conduit for information about whatever their next moves are.”
“And precisely why I do not want you there!” Nicholas got to his feet and strode away from her. Maddy wasn’t making any headway, and she would have to bare her soul to him to make him understand. She rose and followed him.
“Nicholas.” Maddy laid a hand on his arm until he turned from his rigid stance and looked at her. “My brother was executed because I could not keep him safe. My attempt to seek revenge for his murder was…foolish at best and suicidal at worst. This is my only remaining chance to atone for his death.”
He looked stricken. “That is what this is about?” He raised his brows in astonishment. “You’ve nothing to atone for, Maddy. How can you think thus?”
Her voice broke. “You’re wrong. Weren’t you listening to me when I explained? It was my job to protect Robert, and I was negligent. Not paying close attention. Otherwise, he never would have joined up with Northumberland.” She stepped back, blinded by tears. “And I am responsible for Ann Dodd’s death, too.”
Nicholas answered, his voice firm but gentle. “Your brother was a grown man with a wife and children. How could you be to blame for his folly? If his own wife could not sway him, how could you?”
“Kat came to me and begged me to convince Robert not to join, for the children’s sake. By the time I talked to him, it was too late. He’d already made up his mind and wouldn’t listen to me.” Tears were streaming down her face now, her voice quivering with emotion. “I should have stopped him. I should have found a way. And I had no business inviting the Dodds to take part in the raid with me. It was senseless and tragic.”
Nicholas pulled her to him. “Hush now, Maddy. You shall go back to Lanercost if it means so much to you. I’ll find a way to be more vigilant. As you felt responsible for your brother’s safety, so do I for yours.” He stroked her hair, kissing the top of her head and uttering comforting sounds. Stepping a little away from her, he said, “You were the best of sisters, sweeting. Never think otherwise. And you did not force the Dodds to accompany you on the ill-fated raid.”
“Do you truly believe so?”
“Aye, because it is true. Your brother did not deserve a sister such as you.” He drew her back into his embrace, and soon, something stirred within Maddy, and apparently within Nicholas, too. They did not speak but hurried to their picnic spot. With one hand, he swept the food aside and grabbed the coverlet, and they dashed off to the shelter of a stand of trees, away from the river path. Margery had found her a riding dress in Susan’s wardrobe; she needed Nicholas to unfasten it. He made quick work of it, then undressed to his hose while she pulled off her kirtle.
Nicholas removed her smock and cast it aside, then began a slow perusal of her body. After they lay down together, he pleasured her between her thighs in a way she hadn’t dreamed of, and when he entered her at last, she rose up and kissed his lips. Capturing her in his arms, he whispered love words until he found his release inside her. Afterward, he hugged her body against his, back to chest, dropping soft kisses on her neck. They dozed for a while in a haze of soft sounds. The river gurgling over stones, birds calling, tree branches rustling softly in the breeze.
When she awakened, Maddy rolled away from Nicholas, who was snoring softly, and slipped on her smock. She did not think anybody was about, but she made sure before venturing over to where they’d eaten. She found a clean cloth in the basket and walked toward the river to wash. Stepping gingerly, as she knew the stones could be slippery, Maddy moved out into the frigid water until it rose just above her ankles, then dipped her cloth. She washed her face, neck, and arms, dipped the cloth once more, lifted her smock, and cleaned her female parts. Out of the corner of her eye, Maddy glimpsed a flash of white downriver a short distance from where she stood.
Straightening, she craned her neck, trying to see what it was. Something had snagged in the bushes hugging the riverbank. It was bigger than she’d first thought. Knowing she would not be content until she found out, Maddy tossed the cloth onto the bank and moved cautiously toward the splotch of light. Now she could see something dark and voluminous as well. A tight knot formed in her stomach, her instincts signaling danger before her mind became fully aware of it. Slowly, cautiously, she kept going. Closer, closer, until she made out a long form, and oh, Blessed Virgin save her, a submerged face. Or what had been a face. And the splendid blond hair streaming around it. Maddy screamed, a full blown, earth shattering, frightened-out-of-her-wits scream. Turning, slippery stones be damned, she ran, or tried to. She fell before she’d taken five steps, and by that time, Nicholas was in the water and heading toward her.
“What is it, Maddy?” How had he gotten here so fast? He raised her up from the water, a wild look on his face.
“Over there,” she said, pointing. “It is Cath. Musgrave has murdered her.”