Chapter Twenty-Six
The next morning, Margery and a male servant escorted Maddy and Daniel to the home of Widow Lettice Samuel and her two children. Maddy did not see Nicholas or his father, who had already left for Carlisle with their prisoners.
This arrangement was fine for Daniel. He thrived on playing with the widow’s children, a boy and a girl near his age. Maddy had never seen him so happy. But it was not such an ideal situation for her. She wanted to know all. Everything that had happened with the Dacres. And what about the plot to kidnap Mary Stewart? Had they foiled it?
Even though she was badly in need of rest and time to heal, Maddy was restive. The Widow Samuel was kind and tended to her needs in much the same way Margery had. Young and quite lovely, her hair was the color of ripe barley. When not in company, she disliked hiding it under a cap, and it trailed down her back in all its golden splendor. It struck Maddy that the widow would make a fine wife for Nicholas. Daniel would have a family, and her children would have a father. How well did she and Nicholas know each other? He’d had no qualms about sending them to her. Dwelling on this was nonsensical, but the idea was like a pesky fly buzzing around. Maddy couldn’t rid herself of it.
…
The aftermath of the clash with Dacre and his men occupied all of Nicholas’s time for several days. His visit to Maddy was much delayed, although he knew she and Daniel were in good hands. Lettice showed him to the drawing room, and after he thanked her—a friend since childhood—she left the room.
Maddy sat alone, the sun streaming through mullioned windows. Kneeling before her, Nicholas took her hands in his and said simply, “Maddy.” Then he examined her thoroughly, lightly touching each of her wounds. He sensed her shame that he was seeing her thus, her scabby mouth and the sore, red patches on her head.
“How did you get these wounds, sweetheart?”
As soon as he asked this, the tears began to flow, and she buried her face in her hands. Nicholas gently pried them away. “Tell me, sweeting.”
Maddy managed to choke out, “Scold’s bridle.”
He suppressed his burgeoning rage. It would solve nothing. When he spoke, his voice was mild. “Can you tell me more?” Nicholas found his handkerchief and blotted her tears. She nodded and told him what had happened from the time Dacre caught her snooping in his chamber until her escape. He was sure she’d left out many details, but he would learn them soon enough.
“Mistress Derby, Musgrave, Alice—they saved me. I will be ever in their debt.”
“As will I.” Anger and frustration burned in Nicholas’s chest, that Maddy had suffered so. And he hadn’t been able to prevent it. “I am heartsick at what you endured at that man’s hands.” With tightly controlled fury, he leaped to his feet and prowled about the room. “Curse the man for a fiend! Dacre killed the poor serving girl and nearly killed you. I wish he had died. But he lives yet, though he is not in good condition.”
“Where is he?”
“They have all been transported to Carlisle Castle. We’ve caught Lady Dacre, too.”
“Their scheme did not go forward, then? Mary Stewart remains in the queen’s custody?”
“Aye. Turns out their plan was loosely contrived. We’ve learned there were Scots who were meant to meet them near the castle. Ferniehurst, Hume, and their ilk may have been among them. When Dacre didn’t arrive as planned, they fled over the border, no doubt.”
“How did you locate Lady Dacre?”
“Her other stepson, William, the one suing her, was quite happy to tell us where she might be staying. She’s proclaiming her innocence and demanding to see you. She says you will vouch for her.” When Maddy gave no response, Nicholas said, “What have you to say to that?”
“I pray you will show her mercy. I’ve no doubt that she is a Catholic and a supporter of the Scots queen as Elizabeth’s successor. But it is hard to judge how deeply involved she was in the plotting, and whether Dacre coerced her.”
“You are too good, Maddy.”
“Not I. But most of the time I was at the priory, she was kind to me. In my mind, her gravest sin was not protecting Cath. And that makes me wonder if I, too, could have done more to save her. She was a sweet, innocent girl.”
“I know ’tis small comfort, but I do not believe either you or Lady Dacre could have prevented Dacre from killing her.”
“What will happen to Lanercost now? Will William Dacre finally be able to claim it?”
“Legally, he has no right to it.”
“Which means the queen will have yet another new property,” Maddy said sardonically.
Nicholas could not deny it. “I can make you no promises regarding Lady Dacre’s fate.”
“I understand, but I hope you will take into consideration what I’ve said.”
“Be assured I will.” Nicholas had calmed down enough to sit next to Maddy. “You saved my life, sweeting, and most likely Daniel’s as well.”
She did not answer immediately, and when she spoke, her voice trembled. “After Dacre put me in the branks, he seemed to feel he could tell me anything. I’m convinced his plan was for me to die in that room. I was afraid…so afraid.” She paused, visibly straining for control. “Since that last day at Lanercost, I can’t seem to cease weeping. I-I am heartily sorry for it.”
“Never apologize to me, Maddy.” He leaned forward and brushed strands of hair off her face, damp from tears. “What prompted him to put you in the scold’s bridle?”
She hesitated; for some reason, she was reluctant to tell him. “He demanded to know if you and your father were aware of his scheme. And whether you would be laying a trap for him. I refused to tell him.”
Nicholas’s expression softened. “You tried to protect us. And you suffered for it.”
“I had hoped to free myself in time to warn you, but he had too much of a head start.” Looking wretched, she dabbed at her eyes with his handkerchief.
Nicholas reached for her hand, smiling. “I understand you felled a man nearly twice your size.”
Maddy gasped. “I forgot all about Matthew. Is he dead?”
“No. He’s at the castle with the others. How did you manage it?”
She explained.
Nicholas tipped her chin up and kissed her scabby lips, very gently. “What you bore at the hands of that villain…and even afterward, you risked your own life to save ours. You did all this, and after I hurt you so deeply. I—”
The door swung open and Lettice came through carrying a tray laden with food and wine. Very poor timing on her part. But what could Nicholas do but invite her to sit with them, and it was not long before the children burst in. “Uncle Nicholas!” Daniel ran to him, and he pulled the boy onto his lap. Before long, Daniel wriggled from his uncle’s grasp and went to Maddy, cuddling up at her side. Maddy was quiet, leaving Nicholas and Lettice to carry the conversation, mainly with insignificant remarks about the children and neighborhood. Nicholas wished it were he, not Daniel, nestling against Maddy.
She ate little, and he guessed she had not yet regained her appetite. Her recovery would take time, and he must accept that. After partaking of the meal, Nicholas rose. “Fare thee well, and thank you, Lettice.” Then, gazing only at Maddy, he said, “God keep you safe.” She inclined her head slightly. Nicholas motioned to Daniel to come outside with him.
He hunkered down in front of the boy. “Since I cannot be here, I would like you to watch over Maddy. Can you do that?”
Daniel nodded solemnly. “Aye, Uncle. I hate that man for hurting her.”
Nicholas pulled him in for a hug. “I know, son. So do I. Now it is our duty to protect her.”
He let the boy go, mounted, and guided his horse to the road home. His love for Maddy swelled in his chest, until it grew so full as to be uncomfortable. She was hurt, and not only bodily. Quiet and withdrawn, Maddy seemed so distant. What if she hadn’t forgiven him his betrayals? Perhaps her time imprisoned in that room with the scold’s bridle on her head had made her less likely to forgive him. If not for him, she would never have been at Lanercost. Would never have ended up in the clutches of Christopher Dacre.
He must do whatever was within his grasp to show her, by both word and deed, how very much he loved her.
…
On market day, another visitor arrived. Mistress Derby, toting a basket filled with food, judging from the scent floating toward Maddy. By this time, she was feeling stronger physically, and her injuries were healing well.
“May I bring some refreshment?” Lettice asked. “Perhaps some ale or wine to accompany whatever smells so good in that basket?”
“Thank you, mistress. You are very kind.” Maddy’s appetite was returning gradually, and when the cook spread out a veritable banquet on the table, her mouth watered. Cold fowl, fruit tarts, bread, cheese, and her favorite sweet: sugar cakes.
After the widow had come with the ale and gone away again, and they each had filled their trenchers, Mistress Derby said, “We heard what you did. Shot an arrow at the master and saved both young Master Ryder and his little nephew. Dacre got his due, for what he did to you. And poor Cath.”
“I believe I thought only of saving Nicholas and Daniel,” Maddy said. A sugar cake beckoned. Maddy snatched one and took a bite. Divine.
“And Matthew, the brute. He told Master Ryder he’d come to the chamber to save you, the lying swine. I still don’t trust Vine. Musgrave, that is.”
“He was working for Francis Ryder, Nicholas’s father, all along. Even Nicholas didn’t know at first. I doubt we’ll see him again. In the end, he did the right thing.” She hesitated a moment, because she knew Mistress Derby wouldn’t credit what she intended to say. “To be honest, I’ve half a mind to believe he was in love with Cath and sincerely grieved by her death.”
“Hmph. I guess we’ll never know.” With a sly look she said, “You were no ordinary companion to Lady Dacre, were you?”
Ducking her head, Maddy smiled. “Nay, I was not.” The cook accepted that, nodding in acknowledgment.
“What will you do, Mistress Derby?”
“Stay on with my sister in Brampton until I can find new work. And what about you, Madeleine?”
“I am…returning to my family.” She could not say “going home.” Kat’s family home was in no way Maddy’s home. “I’ve a brother I thought was dead, a sister-in-law, and a niece and nephews. It is where I belong.”
“Hmm. Are you sure about that?” She canted her head at Maddy and looked skeptical.
An uncomfortable feeling settled in her chest. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“A certain gentleman seems more than passing fond of you.”
Heat spread through her, and she couldn’t feign ignorance. “Nicholas? We were thrown together because of the work I was helping him with, but nothing more.” Maddy could barely swallow.
“If you could have heard the things he said about you when he came to Lanercost…he sounded like a man besotted.”
Stunned, Maddy could barely contain the emotions swelling in her breast. Nor could she look directly at the woman, or she would guess. “We had a falling out. He lied to me about some important matters.”
“There is such a thing as forgiveness, Madeleine. It is highly underestimated by people who are inclined to hold grudges and make themselves miserable. You should consider it.”
Maddy nodded but was unable to answer.
“I brought your things. They are in cartons—the widow had her servant carry them to your chamber.”
“My dog! Is anybody looking after Useless?”
“Don’t you worry, mistress. We’ve been taking good care of her.”
“Thank you.” Maddy wished she could have her little dog with her, but that seemed too much to ask, given that Lettice had already taken in both her and Daniel.
They rose and began clearing away the food. When she was ready to leave, Maddy said, “Thank you Mistress Derby, for coming to my aid. I might have died wearing that…device. I will never forget what you did.”
If she was not mistaken, the older woman was blinking away tears. “Stop, now. ’Twas nothing. The best way you could thank me would be to heed my advice.”
After Mistress Derby had gone, Maddy retreated to her chamber to rest. Lying on the bed, she thought about what her friend had said about forgiveness. Did Nicholas think Maddy hadn’t forgiven him? She supposed it was possible. Nothing could be right between them until they’d both aired their grievances. Maddy believed he owed her a truer explanation about the matters he had kept secret, both Robbie’s death and the pardons.
Yet when she’d learned Dacre wanted to kill him, nothing else had mattered except saving him. When she had been locked up in that room wearing the scold’s bridle, she had thought she might never see him again. She recalled thinking that if given the opportunity, she would forgive him without a moment’s thought or hesitation.
How she would love to know what he’d said about her to Mistress Derby.
…
The days passed and Maddy grew stronger. She offered to help Lettice in the stillroom, with the preparation of her decoctions and salves. And in the nursery as well. Her little daughter, Meggie, was sweet as a sugar cake. One morning when Maddy awoke, the wee girl was standing next to her bed. Maddy threw the coverlet back and Meggie crawled in with her. Feeling her warmth, inhaling her sweet smell—both made Maddy wish for a bairn of her own someday, an intense sensation that caught her by surprise.
Maddy volunteered to tend the herb garden, largely so she could be out of doors. Daniel and his new friend, Simon, Lettice’s son, could run free as she worked. In the late afternoon, Maddy would return to the house with the scent of purslane and mint on her hands. In the evenings, she sat by one of the windows and embroidered, completing the project Daniel’s mother had started before her death. Maddy fashioned it into a cover for a cushion, stuffed it with goose down, and presented it to the widow to thank her for sheltering Maddy these last few weeks.
She sensed her time here was almost at an end. Healed in body, Maddy was ready to return to Carlisle and her family. It was no use fretting over it; she’d nowhere else to go. Nicholas had not visited again, so she was surprised one morning when Lettice called to her. “Master Ryder is here,” she said, smiling.
“Oh?” she was in the drawing room playing a game with the children.
“He wants you outside, my dear.”
Maddy smoothed her skirts, ran a hand through her hair, and made for the door. Daniel followed, but the widow stopped him. “Not now, Daniel.”
When Maddy stepped through the doorway, Nicholas was standing there, looking so handsome in the morning light. He was holding a wiggling creature in his arms.
“Nicholas! You brought my dog. Thank you.” She stretched up and kissed his cheek, and he passed Useless over to her. “Oh, how I’ve missed you, lass.”
“I should bring you a gift every day, if that is how you will thank me.”
She could do nothing but smile foolishly.
Nicholas put a hand on her arm, and now his expression grew serious. “I’ve brought somebody to see you,” he said. When his gaze drifted toward the corner of the house, Maddy’s followed. Her brother stepped forward, into the bright sunlight.
“Well met, dear sister.”
She was frozen to the spot. Her hand flew to her chest, where her breath seemed to be caught. Nicholas hadn’t let go of her and began speaking softly. “All is well, sweetheart. Greet your brother.”
Maddy set Useless on the ground. And then she ran to Robbie and threw herself at him. He wrapped his arms around her and they clung to each other, both of them weeping. When at last Maddy stepped back, she noticed that Nicholas had withdrawn.
“Let me look at you.” Robbie had aged and did not appear hearty. Obviously, his ordeal had affected him. He had lost his youthful vigor and was too thin.
“I’ve come to take you home, Maddy,” Robbie said.
“You what?”
“You will make your home with Kat and me for now.”
Anger pinched at her, but she restrained herself. “I am not prepared to leave. I haven’t packed my belongings.”
“A servant will help you.”
It disappointed Maddy that she had no choice in the matter of her leave-taking. Had Nicholas conspired in this? Was he so eager to have her gone? Her limbs felt heavy, as though lifting them would be painful. This had been inevitable, and it would do her no good to protest. Maddy had thought herself resigned to it, but now that it was upon her, she could hardly bear the idea.
Reluctantly, she summoned a smile. “Do come inside, Robbie, and take some refreshment.” He hesitated briefly, but finally followed her to the door.
Maddy couldn’t look at Nicholas but stated to nobody in particular that she must supervise her packing. It would be awkward for Robbie, having to converse with Nicholas and the widow in her absence, but she couldn’t help that. All the belongings Mistress Derby had brought her were still packed in the wooden cartons. Fleetingly, Maddy wondered if these were the containers the steward had built for Lady Dacre’s documents. A serving girl had the rest well in hand. Maddy riffled through the clothing in search of a traveling costume, and the girl helped her change into it. When they were done, she surveyed the bedchamber. In truth, she was only trying to delay her departure. She was quite sure they’d packed everything.
Downstairs, they’d reverted to that age-old subject, the one everybody turned to when all else failed. Children. Robbie was telling Lettice about his own little ones. Nicholas was holding Daniel, speaking to him in a low voice. Mayhap telling him she was leaving.
She drew in a deep breath, but still could not get enough air. “My belongings are packed,” she said. Robbie left to help the servant carry them downstairs. Maddy went to Lettice and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for all you have done for me, mistress. It has been a pleasure to reside here with you and your children.” Meggie, who must have sensed what was happening, began to wail. Lettice quickly kissed Maddy, then lifted her daughter into her arms. Maddy bussed her plump cheek in farewell, and then turned to Nicholas and Daniel.
Robbie had gone outside, and Lettice, signaling to her son, departed as well.
Maddy reached out a hand to Daniel. To her astonishment, he batted it away. “Daniel!” Nicholas said, before turning to her. “He is much saddened by your leaving.”
“I understand. No need to explain.” She looked at the small boy who meant so much to her. She had filled a void in his life, and he had loved her absolutely. Maddy didn’t blame him for feeling angry with her—he must believe she was abandoning him. Helpless to say anything that would make things less hurtful, in the end all she could say was, “Pray forgive me, Daniel.” She wanted to hold him close and tell him she loved him, but that would not help. And she doubted he would permit it. Nicholas lowered him to the ground, and he ran off to find his companion.
That left Maddy alone with Nicholas. He looked at her, and his eyes seemed to hold a great sorrow, barely contained. “You’re sure this is what you want, Maddy?”
She nodded, not looking at him. If she looked at him, she would cry. Did he not know if he asked her to stay, she would? Did he truly believe she wished to leave him and Daniel? But if he would say nothing, neither could she.
He lifted her hand and held it to his cheek. “Fare thee well, then, sweeting.” He bent his head toward her. She moved closer to him, anticipating one last kiss. Indeed, yearning for it.
“Maddy, we must be on our way.” Robbie stood in the doorway watching them.
She nodded. “As you say.”
Nicholas accompanied them outside. The day was overcast, and no doubt rain would give them a good soaking before they were too long on the road. Robbie climbed onto the wagon bench, astute enough to give them a moment.
“Farewell, Nicholas. And thank you.”
“God keep you, Maddy. I will hold you in my heart.”
He helped her climb up to the bench, beside her brother, and handed Useless up. Robbie clucked to the horse, and they were off. Maddy did not turn around. If she glimpsed Nicholas one more time, she might be tempted to leap down and run to him.
…
Nicholas cursed himself for a fool. Letting her go had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done. But how could he do otherwise? After observing Maddy’s reunion with her brother—he could not entreat her to stay with him. Didn’t she deserve some time to work things out with Robert? Given all that she’d related to him about her brother, the action he’d taken to save his skin would not have sat well with Maddy. Perhaps they could heal the rift between them in the coming days.
A wiser man than Robert might have taken a different approach with his sister, however. Judging from Maddy’s look and demeanor, she had resented his abrupt manner of informing her she was leaving with him, rather than asking if she wanted to. Or if she was ready.
Nicholas did not wish to be separated from her. Not for any length of time. Their days together in Brampton had been idyllic. After their lovemaking, he’d felt himself drowning in her, and everything in his life had seemed slightly off-kilter since she’d left. Ever since the night they first dined together at the castle and he had glimpsed her in the soft glow of candlelight, Nicholas had known she was a rare beauty. But she possessed an inner radiance that surpassed anything physical. Maddy could be strong and stubborn, yet she was the kindest person he knew. She could not forgive herself for her perceived sins, yet she was forgiving of everybody else. She had advocated for Lady Dacre, even though the woman had stood by, silent, while her stepson planned to kill Maddy. Nicholas suspected that only a few days would pass before she absolved her brother of his sins and they were as close as they had ever been.
She had given herself to Nicholas without hesitation. She was the woman he wanted by his side for the rest of his life.
But to his frustration, he remained uncertain as to his own status with Maddy. They’d had next to no time alone together. Had she forgiven him for foolishly placing duty above his love for her? Duty was only part of it. In truth, his worst fear had been hurting her, and then losing her because of it.
Nicholas planned to visit as soon as he could without intruding on the siblings’ reconciliation. And in the meantime, he intended to petition the Council of the North to regain the Vernon lands and property.
For the present, he must summon every bit of restraint he possessed to soothe his visceral longing for her.