Luke

---

She finally responded.

ALEXA: I'm fine and no I didn't drown. Sorry about leaving without telling you, but I realized I can't keep up this façade of being your girlfriend. The sex was great, but I'm just not built to deal with casual hookups. It's not who I am. You're going to have to talk to people and tell them the way you really feel. You can't keep pretending, Luke. Be real with them and they'll finally realize you are your own man and have your own plans. Honesty is the best policy, or so they say…

She was right, of course.

She did want more and deserved more, but I wasn’t the one to give it to her, no matter how much I enjoyed her.

When I sent her a text, I hoped to be able to convince her that Jenna was the last person I wanted to see, even if I had to admit that she was right and there was no future for us. As much as I wanted to go after her, and as much as I was all ready to go and bring her back, explain to her that Jenna was nothing to me, she was right. I had to man up and start telling the truth.

LUKE: I'm sorry you felt you needed to leave. If you saw me with Jenna, you should know I feel nothing for her anymore but contempt. I would have enjoyed spending the weekend with you, and now I feel bad that you didn't get any sun and surf in like I promised. But you're right. I have to start telling the truth to my meddling family. Thanks for everything you did to help me fake out my family. I truly enjoyed being with you, and the sex was great. There – some honesty from me.

I had to start telling my family the truth. I had to start telling myself the truth.

I went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of ice tea for the trip back into the city. My mother came inside when she saw me.

"There you are," she said and came over to me, standing on her tip toes to give me a kiss on my cheek. "I was looking for you—"

Before she could coax me to stay, I cut her off.

"I'm not staying for dinner," I said, closing the door to the fridge a little too hard. She leaned against the table in the kitchen while I stuffed the bottle into my duffle bag. Outside, guests were assembling at the table by the barbecue, getting ready for cocktails before dinner. "I'm going back to the city."

"Oh, don't go. Stay," she said and grabbed my arm. "Be sociable. Everyone wants to talk to you about your business.”

I looked down at her, exasperated that she just couldn't understand.

"I don't know why you invited Jenna and her mother. I don't want to spend any time with her. Not after what happened."

"I might have mentioned the weekend at the beach house to her when we were talking, but this was before you invited Alana."

"It's Alexa, and you also invited Felicia."

"But dear—"

"Mother," I said, exasperated. "I wish you could stop trying to match me with the daughters of your friends. I never wanted to see Jenna again. You knew that already. I told you that I never wanted to see her in public and I certainty didn’t want to have her at any private family function. I didn't think you'd actually invite her to our house on a weekend when I'd have my girlfriend with me."

"Don't start on that now," she said and shook her pointed and well-manicured nail at me. "Jenna's mother is a dear friend of mine. You know that. You and Jenna should mend fences. There will be times when you'll be in the same crowd. You have to move on with your lives and can't always ignore each other."

"We moved on. She chose him over me. I started Chatter. I have Alexa. I'm not going to be moving in the same circles as Jenna and her family. I'm going to sail and then I'm relocating to California so there's no need for me to mend any fences with her and her family. That's really all there is to it."

"Who is this Alexa girl, anyway? She's not one of our people. Why are you with her? She's a pretty little thing, but she's practically white trash."

"Mother," I said, my fists clenched. "She is not white trash. Her father was a career fighter pilot in the Air Force. She's doing her Master's degree in International Relations. She's beautiful, she's smart and she's got a good heart. She is the farthest thing from white trash ever. And anyway, even if she was white trash, if I love her, you should be supporting me and welcoming her into your arms." I turned to leave, unable to hold back my anger and needing to get away. "I'm going back into the city."

"But Felicia—"

"I'm not interested in Felicia Blake," I said and turned back to her. "Get it through your head. I'm not going to ever be interested in Felicia Blake. I'm not going to get back with Jenna. That's it, mother. That's all you have to know."

She came over to me. "Don’t go. Stay and visit with the Thorpes, at least. You know how he always enjoys talking to you. He was so looking forward to talking more about the negotiations…”

"Sorry. Not going to happen." I shook my head. "Give my regrets to everyone."

"But the Thorpes—"

"Goodbye, Mother."

Then, I left, duffle bag in hand.

I hopped in my car and drove off, leaving the whole bunch of them behind. I felt incredibly disappointed that the weekend didn't turn out the way I wanted. I had hoped to spend it with Alexa, lying in the sun and relaxing. Even if we were only pretending to be a couple, I was enjoying myself. She was so easy to be with…

The sex was great.

Instead, we had one great night and morning and then BAM. It was all over and I was alone again.

I wanted to spend time with Alexa, so I could watch her enjoy herself. I wanted to take her to my bed again that night and enjoy her body the way I had the night before. Being with her felt totally natural. We laughed easily, and we talked easily. The sex was better than great.

But she was just acting. She didn’t really feel anything for me as a man although she definitely enjoyed the sex.

Strangely enough, that didn't feel like enough for me anymore.

I wanted more.

That surprised me. I hadn’t felt so comfortable with a woman for a long time. Not since with Jenna.

I had to push that thought out of my mind, because we all knew how that turned out – a disaster that took me a good six months to recover from. No, I wasn't going to let myself get hooked back into the whole relationship thing only a month before I was scheduled to take the catamaran and sail down to the Caribbean and then through the Panama Canal to the South Pacific.

I had to keep that in the front of my mind. Once the deal went through, and I was sure it would, the ship would be finished and the guys and I would sail away for what I hoped would be the greatest year of my life – so far.

---

I arrived back at my building just as the sun had set and walked into an empty apartment, throwing my duffle bag and keys onto the table in the entrance. Then I went to my living room and stood at the sliding door to the balcony. I opened it and went to the railing, looking out over the city at the lights from the Hudson. A light breeze blew in from the water.

I thought once more about Alexa and how Jenna's presence had ruined everything. My adoptive mother just couldn't resist trying to control my life. I really had to make a clean break with her and my adoptive father once the deal went through.

Then, I could finally live my own life the way I wanted.

---

I sat on my sofa and watched the late local news, my mind only half-focused on the report on some crime committed down some dark back alley. I took out my cell and checked my messages once more, in the vague hope that Alexa might have a change of heart and text me, asking me to come to her place so we could spend the evening together, but no luck.

I was tempted to send her a message and suggest it. The hour was late but I hadn't eaten dinner and could have used a late supper.

LUKE: Look, I know that there's no future for us, because I'm leaving in a month for the Panama Canal, and you're starting your PhD and want to live in Europe, but I'm craving some pizza and was hoping you might feel like joining me. I feel like I owe you a fun night after what you did for me at Cipriani's and after coming out to the beach for the weekend. I can't talk you into a slice at Familigia's? It's close to your place… Afterwards, I could bring you back to my place for a wild night of really great sex… ;) But if you're not into really great sex, I could use company for a slice or two.

I should have just let things be, but I couldn't. I wanted to talk to Alexa. I wanted to see her smile and hear her laughter as I told her tales of my adoptive mother's meddling. I wanted to fuck her again and again, watching her face in pleasure.

I read my text over and then sent it, throwing caution to the wind.

Then, I waited. I checked my watch. It was now close to nine and I knew the streets would be busy along the Hudson as Saturday night revelers would be out, and Familigia's would be busy with customers. I wanted to walk down Broadway with Alexa and sit on a bench, watch people for a while.

Sure, maybe she'd go back to her place afterwards, but I felt incredibly lonely at that moment and wanted to be with her.

Finally, after about ten minutes, I heard my cell ding and knew she'd replied.

ALEXA: Familigia's? What are you, an agent provocateur? I can't resist a slice from Familigia's…

I smiled, and replied right away, before she could change her mind.

LUKE: I'll pick you up in 15.

ALEXA: No, that's fine. I'll meet you there.

LUKE: Seriously, let me pick you up. The streets will be busy this time of night. Besides, it's dark out.

ALEXA: I'm a big girl and I've been around Manhattan for three years, now. I'll see you there in fifteen. You'll know me by the jade Mala bracelet with the tree of life charm. ;)

LUKE: If my lady insists… See you in 15.

I grabbed my jacket and was just about to leave when my cell dinged. I took it out, thinking it might be Alexa texting to cancel after having second thoughts, but it was John.

JOHN: Hey, Luke. Looks like trouble brewing on the Chatter front. We better meet and talk. Andy and I are going to Bonaventure on Fifth. Meet us there.

Crap. I didn’t want to cancel my plans with Alexa.

LUKE: I'm busy for the next hour, but I can meet you there for a late drink at 10:30. What's the problem?

JOHN: One of the investors is thinking of pulling out, which means the deal would drop until they can find someone else to make up the difference.

LUKE: Crap. Let me guess… It's Harrison Blake.

JOHN: How did you know? Seems like your rejection of his little sister made him have second thoughts.

LUKE: What a bastard. OK, I gotta go. I'll see you at Bonaventure at 10:30.

I put my cell away and stood for a moment, my hand on the door knob. I hated the fact that Harrison had that much power over me, punishing me for not wanting to play family with his sister. He was a bastard, and I should have known at the outset that we shouldn't do business with him, but I was as eager as John to see the deal come through.

Whatever happened, I wanted to see Alexa and have a slice of pizza with her, talk over the deal with her and maybe, convince her to come back to my place after my meeting with John.

I left my apartment, a blanket of gloom over me that just a few minutes earlier, had not been there.

---

I found a parking spot about four blocks away from Familigias, and walked the rest of the way to the restaurant. There was a line of customers outside, waiting for a slice and a can of soda. I glanced around, searching for Alexa, and was dismayed that she wasn't there. I didn’t want to see her pull out as well and checked my cell in case she'd sent a text and I'd missed the alert.

There was nothing so I went closer to the store front where they dished out slices and leaned against the light pole, my arms crossed as I waited for her to arrive.

After about ten minutes, I texted her.

LUKE: Hey, Alexa. I'm here and you're not.

I waited, and then her text came.

ALEXA: Sorry. I was late getting out of the apartment. I'm five minutes out. See you soon.

LUKE: Phew! *wipes sweat* I was worried that you'd changed your mind at the last minute.

ALEXA: What? And miss a free slice of Familigia's pizza? Do you think I'm crazy??? *evil grin*

LUKE: Hmm. I hoped you wouldn’t want to miss spending time with me and my witty and deeply engrossing conversation.

ALEXA: That, too. :)

I smiled and put my cell away, then returned to watching the street life as crowds on Broadway moved down the street around me, happy to be lost in their midst.

"What are you smiling about?"

I turned and there was Alexa, a grin on her face.

"You're here," I said, surprised to see her so soon. "I thought you were five minutes out."

She sighed audibly. "I was giving myself time to change my mind if I needed it."

I shook my head, my smile fading. "What are you so worried about? It's just an innocent slice of pizza…"

"Because it would be easy to just let things happen," she said and took in a deep breath. "And that would be a mistake. But then, I decided, what the hell. You only live once, right? Besides, Familigia's pizza is to die for, so…"

I put my arm around her shoulder. "Do you want to go inside or do you want to get a slice and walk along the street?"

"Let's sit," she said. "I went for a run and need a rest."

We went inside and waited in line for a table. The hostess told us it would be about ten minutes, and so the two of us stood in the entry way behind a line of hopeful customers.

"The line is small, considering what time it is. Usually, there's no way we'd get in."

"I know," she said, leaning against the wall across from me. "It must be a sign."

"It must be." I smiled at her, my gaze moving over her from head to foot and back again.

God, she really was a pretty little thing. She was wearing a sweater that hugged her curves very nicely, with a deep cut v-neck that showed a bit of delicious cleavage. Beneath was a jean skirt and then some sandals. I felt very much like we were boyfriend and girlfriend going out for a meal together, and not a couple of frauds who met through a misspelled email and had pretended to be something they weren't.

If I wasn't going away on the catamaran for a year, I'd definitely want to keep seeing Alexa. She was so easy to be with, so funny and smart. I felt both excited to be with her and relaxed, like she was comfortable.

"I just got a text from John that didn't make me happy," I said, wanting to talk about the problems with the business deal.

"What?" Her eyes widened, concern for me clear on her face.

"Seems like Harrison Blake is considering pulling out of the deal. With him goes about one quarter of the money so they might have to wait until they find another backer."

“Harrison Blake of the famous Blake family, with the daughter who was in want of a wealthy husband?" She smiled at me, a playful expression in her eyes.

"The very one," I said and shook my head, still in shock that Harrison would consider pulling out merely because I wasn't into his sister. "I knew he liked me as her husband but I really didn’t think the deal rested on it."

"I'm so surprised at you super-rich people and the old-fashioned ideas you still have about marriage."

"You middle class people never consider money when you become engaged?" I said playfully, matching her joking tone. "You don't consider your would-be husband as a provider?"

She laughed. "We consider ourselves as providers. We have to think that if the marriage failed, we'd be expected to hold up half the sky, at least financially."

"Well, I guess my class wants to consolidate fortunes and carry on dynasties. That's the old money but I don't know what the nouveau riche think. Probably aren't as concerned with passing on fortunes, since they're so new."

"So your family must have been really upset when they saw me with you. Me, from Oregon. I mean, I’m not even nouveau riche and besides, who's from Oregon anyway? Your mother said as much…"

"When?"

She shrugged. "After I saw you with Jenna. She came up and told me that you and I were from different social classes and would never work."

"What?" I said, fuming. "That old witch. You have to know I don't believe any of that crap."

"It made me feel even worse, but then I got my back up. You texted me at the right time. An hour earlier and I would have said no."

"Thank God for good timing," I said. We both grinned and I leaned in closer to her, feeling an urge to kiss her then and there.

So I did.

I kissed her, a smile still on my lips, and she kissed me back, a smile on her lips as well. The kiss lingered for a moment, and then it broke on its own time and we pulled back. She glanced away, a smile still on her face.

Yeah, she felt it, too. That connection we had that went beyond pure lust. It was more than that, although it was that as well. It was affection, despite the fact I knew her for only a few weeks. It was attraction to her as a person. Someone I could talk to about things that were beyond popular media or music or films – the usual things I talked about with the other women I fucked on a regular basis.

With Alexa, I felt I could talk to her about the most familiar and most unfamiliar things – my family and the business world. My ex-fiancée and my trip around the world. My business deal and my family dynamics.

I realized I had barely asked her about her family, since mine had been so dominant over the past week.

"Tell me about your father and mother. I know they have a great marriage, but what do they do now that he's retired?"

She went on to tell me about her parents and her brother, and how she missed them, but was unable to go back. She opened up and told me more about Blaine. We talked about his obsession with her after they broke up, and how she was afraid to go home. News got around too quickly for her to feel safe in her home town. She had to meet her family at vacation spots and the location would be kept quiet until the actual date they left.

"It must have been scary having a stalker."

She sighed, and glanced away. "The police arrested him after he pretty much abducted me. He was in jail for a while, but got out. After that, I never feel safe in town, like he was always watching. Like he was waiting for the chance to abduct me and kill me."

I frowned, shocked that she was really that afraid. "Do you really think he would?"

"Who can say?" She met my eyes. "He crossed the line into deviancy. He's dangerous. The police told me to be extremely careful and to never be alone in case he tried to abduct me and I thought, to hell with that. I decided to move away and not tell anyone where I was going. You can imagine I don’t really want to go back home as long as he's there."

"I'm sorry you had that happen to you," I said and reached out, pushing a strand of hair from her cheek. "He's obviously a nut case. I was upset after Jenna and I broke off the engagement, but I wasn't going to stalk her. I didn't want anything to do with her ever again. It was my family and her family that kept trying to get us to kiss and make up."

"You don’t think you could?"

I shook my head firmly. "Never. How could I?"

"I couldn't," she said and shook her head. "Cheating is beyond anything I could accept. If – when — I get married, I want my husband to know that he can come to me anytime and tell me if things are a problem. If he needs more than I'm giving him. When I get married," she said and glanced away. "I'll do everything I can to make sure my husband is happy."

"That sounds easy in theory, but I think it's harder in practice. Sometimes, people don't know what they want or need."

"Then, people have to grow together and learn to tell each other what they need."

"You make it sound so easy. Marriage is hard."

"Everything worthwhile is hard."

I nodded, but I wasn't as sure of it as she was.

Marriage seemed like a hard mountain to climb and a happy marriage like the pinnacle. Only a few ever reached it. Everyone else fell short and many people died along the way…

We finally got a table and ordered, then spent the next half hour talking about everything and anything, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

It felt so comfortable and exciting at the same time. I didn't want it to end, wishing we could take it back to my place for the night, but I had my meeting with John and Chris and that could not be put off. We were meeting on Monday to finalize things and needed to discuss our strategy.

"Well, I hate to say goodnight," I said and glanced at my watch, "but I have to meet John and Chris in about ten minutes. I gotta go."

I paid the bill and then we walked out of the restaurant past the throng of people waiting at the front for a slice and those waiting in line to get a table.

We stood on the brightly-lit street outside the restaurant and I regretted that John had called and the deal was now uncertain. It felt like Alexa would come home with me if I asked. I would have liked to invite her to my place after my meeting with John and Chris, but that seemed so calculated, like I was hoping to fuck her but had other more important matters to attend first. I wanted things to feel unforced and natural.

I couldn't ask, not this way.

"I better go," I said and leaned in, kissing her gently on the lips. She kissed me back and then I pulled her against me, her body pressing into mine, her curves so delicious that I could get a hard-on just standing there with her.

"Damn," I said, looking into her eyes when our kiss broke. "I wish you could come back to my place. I wish I wasn't going to meet John…"

She smiled, and pulled back.

"Maybe some other time," she said and squeezed my hand. "Before you go. I'd like to see your boat when it's finished."

"It's a date. I'll take you on a sail before we leave. How does that sound?"

She nodded, but her expression was serious, like she didn't really want to think of me leaving.

I felt so conflicted at that moment. Part of me couldn’t wait to get in the boat and leave all my worries behind me, sailing down the coast to the gulf and then through the Panama Canal on my way to the Marqueses Islands in the South Pacific. After such a tumultuous year, after the breakup with Jenna and the business going stratospheric, I felt a strong need to get away, to think and just breathe for a few months.

For a year.

At the same time, I hadn’t felt this way about a woman for a long time. Maybe not since I met Jenna and we were first together. I hated the thought that I'd be leaving and nothing more would come of this thing between us – whatever it was.

If I wasn't leaving, I would have kept trying to see her.

If I wasn't leaving…

Then I thought about the deal and wondered if Harrison Blake pulling out would stop the deal in its tracks. If so, it could take us months to find another partner and negotiate a new deal. I hoped not. I wanted to leave Manhattan so badly. I had dreamed of sailing away on my catamaran for years, and now, it was so close, I could almost smell the salt water and feel it on my skin as I sailed to the South Pacific.

I glanced at Alexa and wished…

Fucking hell…

"Dammit, I have to go," I said reluctantly. "I don't want to go…"

I leaned in to kiss her once more, only intending it to be a quick kiss goodbye, but it ended up being much more passionate. All at once, I didn’t care anymore and so I grabbed her and picked her up, kissing her even more deeply. In response, she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me back. I was certain at that moment that she felt the same – wanting to be with me, not wanting me to go…

Then I put her down and turned, walking away, regret filling me, but resolve pushing me forward.