23
She tried not to gasp, but she was pretty sure she did. She blinked repeatedly, hoping the image would dissolve, or she’d wake from this stupid dream. He was still there.
“Hello Jessica.” William stood there, his hands in the pockets of his trench coat. He bounced on his feet, back and forth from ball to heel. She remembered him doing that; he was always fidgeting about something. Jessica tried to calm herself, but she could feel her heart pound in her ears as she held open the door.
“May I come in?” he asked, his voice soft, not strong like his brother’s. Jessica stood there, unable to speak or move.
Finally, she asked, “What are you doing here, and how did you find out that I was here?”
William shrugged and gave her a half smile. “My firm is legal counsel for the owner.”
So that was it? she thought. He was legal counsel, and somehow found out she was in town, and he just decided to drop in?
“Jessica,” he leaned closer, and she took a step back. “I really need to talk to you.”
Is this about Matt? Oh, God, is he hurt?
“Is Matt all right?” the words popped out of her mouth, and William glanced away.
“He’s fine,” he said on a sigh, “but please, what I have to discuss with you is personal, and I’d rather not do it out here in the hall.”
Against her better judgement, Jessica stepped aside and let him in. He was shorter than she remembered. At least a head shorter than his brother, and he’d gotten heavier, which didn’t suit his shorter frame.
“Nice place.” William walked through the short entryway and into the living room, shedding his coat, then folding it carefully, and laying it over the couch. He was wearing a suit, and from what Jessica could tell, it was a pretty expensive one. He’d done well for himself, she surmised, and she caught the glint of a ring on his left hand.
She nodded toward it, “Congratulations, Will.” She walked past him to stand by the windows, giving herself a safe distance.
He fingered the ring. “I haven’t seen you since…” his voice trailed off.
“Since you left me on our wedding day,” she finished the sentence for him, crossing her arms in front of her.
William glanced away again. “I read in the paper that you and Matt got stuck in the blizzard,” he began, ignoring her comment.
She nodded.
“Online, actually. I like to keep up with what’s going on in Harper’s Corner.”
“Why? I mean, you seem to have done well for yourself, you live in this big, exciting city, you’re newly married. You haven’t been back to Harper’s Corner in years. Why would you care what happens there?”
William shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his feet again. “There are things about it I miss.” Then his eyes met hers directly while he added, “I miss you.”
The words hit her, and for a moment she thought she’d heard him wrong. She frowned, and then almost laughed.
“You what?!”
He let out a sigh. “I miss you, Jess, and I miss what we had.”
He started walking toward her and she backed away. “What we had, William, was a lie.” She studied this man, who’d left her life in a shambles, and now was standing here, freshly married and...what? Asking for an affair?
“What we had was amazing!” William moved closer and reached for her. She yanked her arms back and walked past him to the kitchen.
“William, I will tell you that five and a half years ago I might have agreed with you. Before our wedding day, I thought you were it for me. I thought you were the love of my life, but you weren’t, not even then. And why the hell are you here, anyway? Isn’t a little late for this?”
Something twisted on his face. “I married the wrong woman, Jess. I realize that now…”
She bristled slightly at hearing him call her “Jess.” He hadn’t done that when they were together, but he knew full well it was what Matt called her.
She needed to keep her hands busy, so she grabbed a kettle to fill it with water. She wasn’t going to offer him tea, or anything else, but she needed something. She set the kettle with a thud on the stove.
“Are you kidding me? You’ve been married for all of ten days!” Jessica eyed him speculatively.
He shrugged. “I-I know, I just, I felt it the day Maryanne and I got married, and it’s only grown. I mean, then I talked to Matt, and he—”
Jessica held a hand up. “You talked to Matt and what, William?”
William looked lost, like he’d gotten himself down a road, and he wasn’t sure whether to keep going, or turn around and retreat.
“I…he—he told me, um, he didn’t ask me for permission, but he said he wanted to date you, and I realized…”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute. What you’re really saying is, petty jealousy took over, is that it?” Her hands hit the counter with a smack, and as the kettle began to boil, so did her temper.
“No,” he scoffed, and shook his head like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. “I just—Matt wanted to let me know, I guess, because...you know...we were supposed to get married, and he wanted me to hear it from him, before I heard it from anyone else.”
It was a decent thing to do, Jessica thought, especially since Matt didn’t owe his brother any kind of an explanation.
“I’m not interested,” Jessica grabbed the now-whistling kettle and poured a cup of steaming water.
William walked over to the kitchen, leaning on the counter. “How can you say that?” he seemed genuinely shocked, like he’d expected her to leap into his arms the minute he said he wanted her back.
Jessica dipped a teabag into the water and watched it float before it settled and sank into the cup. It was clear to her what this was about. William didn’t really want her, but he also didn’t want his brother to have her. But something else hit her, too. William was a petty, sad excuse of a man, and the luckiest day of her life was when he ran out on their wedding.
“I think you should go.” Her intent was firm and resolute. This conversation was over. Suddenly, it washed over her. The mistake she’d made.
You almost married the wrong brother. Wasn’t that what Maggie said recently?
“Jessica, you were everything to me, and you can be again. I know it. And I’m not asking for an affair, I-I’ll get a divorce and we can…” His words trailed off as she held up a hand for him to stop. Then she leaned both hands on the counter, so they were facing each other, only a few feet apart.
“William, you are a ridiculous man, to come here while your new, trusting wife is at home, or wherever she is. You’re newly married, and yet you have the nerve, the utter gall, to stand here, saying these things which, as you and I both know, are only out of petty jealousy. You don’t care about me. You just can’t stand the thought that I might love your brother in a way I could never have loved you.”
He wagged a finger at her. “That’s not true. You and Matt aren’t good together.”
Her heart softened at hearing Matt’s name, the man she’d so quickly discarded, insisting she was broken. How stupid she was, not to have realized until this very moment that she wasn’t the broken one after all.
She shook her head and said, softly, “Matt and I are great together. In fact, I’ve never met anyone like him, and I realize now I’ve loved him for as long as I can remember.”
“You’re a tramp!” William spat. “You can’t have one brother, so you go after the other.”
Bile soured her throat and mouth. “I want you to go. Now, William.”
“No, not until you listen to reason. This is ludicrous! Do you have any idea what people are going to say? First one brother, then you trade him in for the lesser sibling.”
Now she was really pissed, so much so that her hand itched to slap his face.
“You couldn’t be remotely like Matt on your best day, William, and you know it. In fact, that’s why you’re here. You thought you were the star of the family, going off to law school, and now working in a big, prestigious law firm.
She threw up her arms. “And Matt! Well, what did Matt end up doing but cleaning up your messes and going off to help save the world? And you can’t stand that, can you? That no matter how many degrees you get, or how big your paycheck, you’ll always be a poor man’s Matt.”
She licked her lips and continued. “Now you read that Matt and I survived this storm, we were alone together for a couple of days, and you just had to swoop in before something more happened, didn’t you? Well, let me tell you, something did happen. I fell in love, maybe for the first time in my entire life.” An image of Matt, strong and tall, filled her mind. “He is the most amazing person I have ever met.”
Something caught in her throat, the mere mention of him, and the overwhelming love she felt for him rushed through her, leaving her breathless.
“You’re sick!” William’s arms were at his sides, his hands balled into fists.
Jess shrugged, “Maybe I am, but I’m not the married one, begging my former fiancée to get back together with me. Now leave, or I’ll call security.” She picked up the intercom phone in the kitchen.
“Fuck you.” William snarled. He marched into the living room, grabbed his coat, and strode out the door without another word. Only when the door slammed did Jessica breathe a sigh of relief.
The next moment, she felt the full impact of the horrible mistake she made.