Chapter 18

Christopher

Marga had exhausted herself, staying up later than we realized with her presents. She’d shut her bedroom door and from all accounts, didn’t go to sleep until four in the morning when I went into the kitchen at to get a glass of water and spotted the light from beneath her door. Normally I would have disciplined her, but it was Christmas and I remembered what that special time was like. “Go to sleep, Marga,” I’d warned her in a low voice through the door and the light snapped off.

As a result, after we lifted off from the Bremen airport, Marga took over the state room; fast asleep with her doll clutched in her arm.

Lillie and I were left to ourselves. Luke brought us a platter of Christmas-themed goodies and a bottle of my favorite wine with which to relax. I could tell that Lillie was in a peaceful mood; she kept lifting her wrist to admire the bracelet I’d given her. I’d been tempted to wear the lederhosen just to be fun, but that hardly described what lay ahead once we were back in Chicago.

The weather was a little rough over the Atlantic. We hit turbulence and I saw Lillie stiffen and her eyes grow large as we dropped suddenly. I spoke to Luke and asked the captain if we could fly above it, but the word came back he was doing the best he could. I went to sit next to Lillie on the sofa, wrapping my arm over her shoulders and pulling her against me. “It’s okay, we have an excellent pilot, and this is one of the safest jets in the air. Just pretend you’re on a carnival ride and hold onto me, okay?”

This seemed to calm her a bit. I thought small talk might also help, although I’d never been very good at it. “Did you enjoy your trip?”

“Oh, Chris, how could you even ask? It was wonderful, beyond anything I had imagined. You know, you’ve taught me a lesson here.”

“I have?”

She nodded her head. “My parents raised me old-school, if you will. They were children of World War II parents and knew what it was to go without. So, they always saved their money, no matter how little came in. They raised me to be cautious with my money and not be self-indulgent. They taught me to look after others when they were needy. They are good parents. So, I would have never taken a trip like that on my own. I would’ve seen it as too extravagant, but if I’d done that, I would’ve missed out on not only expanding my own horizons, but actually have a good business idea.”

This caught my attention. “Business idea?”

She nodded, her fingers intertwining themselves in her lap. I could tell it was more than the flight that was giving her a little anxiety. I quickly hugged her shoulder a couple of times and urged her on. “Tell me about it.”

She hesitated and then began. “So, my parents owned a bakery in what used to be an old-school neighborhood, but it got caught up in some of the city’s modernization and actually turned out to be a pretty good spot. They were doing very well, although they would never admit it. Anyway, the plan was that I would take over the business when they retired. So, I got my business degree and of course, I worked at the bakery ever since I was a little girl.

“Well, there was a fire. No one knows exactly how it started but it wasn’t inside the building, it began back where the dumpsters sit. By the time I got there, it was mostly destroyed, and my parents were in shock, as you can imagine. As much as I wanted to cry, I had to be strong for them. So, a few days later, I helped them to pack their things and they left for Florida, to retire. My job has been to sell the house and to deal with whatever was left from the bakery tragedy. Gosh, I’m not really sure you want to hear all this.”

“No, go ahead, I’m listening.”

“Okay, well, at first I plan to just sell the lot where the bakery stood. I could probably have done okay with it since the real estate in that area has really climbed in value. It’s on a corner, it gets a lot of traffic. There’s also a built-in customer base. But, when we were visiting Paris, I realized that there was more to Flemmings Bakery than the building and a couple of ovens. It was a tradition. It had been part of the neighborhood for years. Those were values that couldn’t be assessed and more than just a plot of land. So, I made up my mind to start over.”

“Start over?”

“That’s right. After all, who would be better trained to do it than me? I have the experience, I have the education, and thanks to you, I have a fresh perspective on the potential of what a bakery can really be. I’m going to borrow the funds and rebuild. It’s going to be an upscale shop, in keeping with the faster-paced development around it, but retaining the old-world flavor it had for so many years. I really think there’s a market for that. I might even include a little gift shop as an added revenue source. As soon as I get home, I’m going to start the inquiries and get the ball rolling.”

I was choking inside. She had no idea how much I knew about her situation and the role that I’d played in taking interest in the property. My aspirations had ruined her family’s life. I was a few words away from losing her forever. I didn’t care about the bakery. It was all a game for me. I didn’t need the money, I didn’t need the headaches. I thought I did. I thought that was exactly what I was going to do for the rest of my life, but after seeing how Lillie interacted with Marga and getting closer to her, understanding how her mind worked, I realized that I was fooling myself. It had nothing to do with the game. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The only game I was playing was in my own head with myself.

“What do you think?” I knew she wanted my opinion, perhaps she was even going to ask me to back her investment. How the hell had I gotten myself into this mess? I couldn’t say anything or do anything until I got back to Chicago and straightened up that mess. At the same time, I had two live wires just waiting to electrocute her. Steve, and now Corey. Those weren’t her problems — they were mine.

“First of all, I’m glad you had a great time. I’m sorry we had to leave early but that happens in my world. Business things come up that I have to take care of first hand. So, we had to leave. There’s also this matter between Corey and Daphne. We have their child with us. If Corey is set on leaving Daphne, I need to be there to catch her and her child. I’ve made that my responsibility.”

“You’re a good man, Chris.” Her voice was soft and complimentary, and I liked to think I heard a bit of possessiveness in it.

“I’m glad you think so.” I just hoped when the lid blew off, that she still thought that. I needed to change the subject. “Hey, you can look down now. We are over the States.”

“No, I’ll take your word for it. Looking down makes me dizzy. How much longer?”

I laughed. “I can tell you’re not going to be much of a traveler.”

“No, I guess not. Especially after being on your jet. I know it can’t get any better than this.”

I wondered if she realized that I never had answered her question. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, I just wasn’t prepared for it.

Later that evening, we dropped Marga off at Daphne’s. Odd, that I should already be thinking of it as Daphne’s property. Corey was nowhere to be found and Daphne was going to great efforts to mask her bloodshot eyes from crying.

“Did you have a wonderful time, darling?” she asked Marga and in response was shown the gifts and even treated to a slightly rumpled white bag that contained a strawberry creampuff. Daphne laughed as she removed it, the cream now a milky stream that ran down her arm.

“I’m sure it was very beautiful when you bought it,” she said nobly, and I could see the twinkle in her eyes. Daphne’s world was Marga. I would see to it that it stayed that way.

Back in the car, we headed in the direction of my place. Lillie spoke up. “Could you ask the driver to pull into a motel somewhere, please?” She was busying herself gathering up her belongings, getting ready to leave.

“What do you mean?”

“Chris, what are you thinking? I have nowhere to go but a motel. The house is gone, remember?”

“Yes, I know. And my attorney handled everything. The money should be in your bank account already.”

“Well, I appreciate that. Please send me a bill for his services.”

“Hey, why are you being so formal all of a sudden?”

She looked at me, startled. “What do you mean? Our vacation is over. It’s time to get back to the real world.”

“And what does the real world mean to you?”

“What I mean is that I have nowhere to live, no job, a huge ambitious plan, and I need to get started on something. I can’t thank you enough for taking me along. There was a very special time to me, Chris.”

“Lillie? Why are you leaving me? Did I say something?” I was stymied by her change in attitude.

“Chris, nothing is changed between us, I guess, unless you want it to end. I hoped we’d still see one another. As soon as I’m settled, I’ll let you know where to find me.”

I sat forward, withdrawing my arm from around her shoulder so I could face her. “No, no, no, you don’t understand. You’re not staying in a motel. You’re going home with me. I’ve already set it up that way.”

She cocked her head. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but don’t you think that was just a little presumptuous?”

“Why would you think that?”

She sat for a moment, forming her words. “Chris, we both know that this relationship between us, while it is wonderful, it’s never going to be anything more than what it is now. We have different goals in life. Me? I want to get my business off the ground and when I do, I want to have my own little Marga. I want to find someone who loves me more than anything else and wants to raise a family. You are not that person, Chris. You said it yourself—you’ve reminded everyone so many times. You don’t ever want to be married or have a family. You didn’t think I was going to give up being a mother and just flit around the world in a jet with you, did you?”

The way she said it made it sound dirty. I was struggling with an answer. I’d had my mind made up for so many years, I couldn’t just rethink it all in a matter of seconds. “Okay, you win. We’ll find you a room for the night and if you want my help, I’ll be there for you. This isn’t what I had planned, Lillie. Not at all. But, you’re right. I have said that. You deserve to have the life you dream of. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I pictured.”

She put her hand over mine, rubbing the back of my clenched fist. “Chris, I’m sorry if this sounds cold. Especially after you’ve been so good to me. We are both adults, and I understood that our vacation was sort of like a long date. I hope I helped with Marga, but I can’t depend on you to keep me fed and clothed from here on out. Don’t you see, what that would make me?”

I said the words for her. “A kept woman.”

“Exactly. I’m better than that, Chris. I deserve more than that for myself. I’m not like you, I can’t be alone. I want people I love, and who love me to be around me. I had a close family and I’m sorry, because I know you didn’t, and maybe our childhoods influenced who we are today. I just thought all this was understood.”

I shook my head. I didn’t say anymore. The driver pulled into the parking lot of a Ramada Inn. I watched through the window as he put her luggage on a dolly and followed her inside. I turned my head to look straight out the front windshield. Damn, what a fool I am.