Chapter Two

“So, how was it?”

I hadn’t even closed the door before Dean piped up. He stood in the kitchen with a pizza box in front of him.

“It was fine. We talked; well, I mean I talked. How was work?” I couldn’t believe I was about to say it, but I was beginning to wish I’d been at work instead of at therapy.

“What did you guys talk about?” He totally ignored my question.

“Stuff. We talked about everything that happened recently and how it’s been affecting me and what my life goals are and a whole bunch of other stuff that I don’t really see how it’s going to matter.” I shrugged, slipping out of my coat.

I knew Dean was just trying to do the right thing by making me go to therapy, but I wasn’t impressed that he hadn’t spoken to me about it before he even talked to me about it. I bit my lip, taking a deep breath as I slipped past him. I honestly wasn’t sure if I wanted to be mad at him or thankful that I had someone to support me and who was willing to do whatever it took to.

“Are you all packed for tonight?”

“Yes.” I’d been packed since Saturday. After everything that happened, Dean didn’t want me at work, so he told me to stay home, which meant that after my mother was done flipping her shit over what had happened, I soon ran out of things to do.

*

I thought I’d been doing her a favor by not telling her about what happened, that is until I got a text asking if there had been a shootout at my casino. I’m not quite sure when my parents started watching the news, but it was after I’d moved out.

The door opened behind me.

“I thought I heard you come home!” Katie grinned widely. “Well, how was it? Did you have a cute therapist?”

“I guess she was pretty.” I turned to my best friend and felt a sense of calm wash over me. I couldn’t decide if I wanted to be mad at Dean or not, but I knew that I didn’t want to be mad at Katie. She was my best friend and had been since I moved in. She looked me up and down.

“You hated it, didn’t you?”

“I … it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” I admitted. “And it might actually be good for me in the long run. She wants me to start working out; she says it will help with my sleeping.”

“You’re having trouble sleeping?” They both said at the same time.

I shrugged. “That shit happens after a ‘traumatic event’ or, at least, that’s what she says.” I made sure to use mimic quotation marks.

It’s not that I didn’t think I’d suffered a traumatic event. I was pretty sure she was right about me having PTSD of some sort, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it; I wanted to play it down so no one thought they had to take care of me. I’d already had my mom try to convince me to move back in with them.

“Well,” Katie looked at me with soft eyes. “As long as she helps, that’s all I care about. She put you on any pills for it?”

“No, she wants to avoid that kind of stuff.” I glanced at Dean, who had a soft smile on his face though he wasn’t actually looking at me.

*

I’d picked someone I knew wasn’t going to want to give her medication. I’d seen what that did to people, and was willing to bet the medication Keith was given had a lot to do with why he tried to kill me—and just recently held a gun to Becca’s head. Taking a slice of pizza, I headed for the living room, sensing that the two girls in front of me needed some time.

So I dropped down onto the couch, turned up the TV a little bit and let them have some time to themselves.

I took a bite of pizza, mostly for something to do. I knew she wasn’t happy about me setting up an appointment for her but could tell there was something wrong. She didn’t look like she was sleeping and I’d wake up in the middle of the night, and she wouldn’t be there. That wasn’t normal for her—but every time I tried to bring it up, she’d just tell me that I didn’t know her well enough to know what was or wasn’t normal for her. And she was right; we hadn’t been together all that long.

Yet she’s already been traumatized because of me. I hated myself the second I thought it. I’d known a long time ago that everything with Keith was going to come back to haunt me and maybe I deserved that, but Becca didn’t. I should have been more careful. “You thought it was all in the past.” Melina would try to fight me. And she was right. I did think it was but should have known better.

I stared blankly at the screen in front of me not really aware of what was on.

Charges should have been pressed all those years ago. I should have gotten him locked up instead of feeling bad for him.

“I didn’t realize you liked Sex and the City.”

“What?” I snapped, looking at the girl who dropped down onto the couch beside me. Her eyes locked on the screen in front of us. “Oh.”

I grabbed a remote and handed it to her.

“Are you alright?” she asked, taking a bite of her pizza.

No.

I looked around. “Where is Katie?”

“Oh, she has a date or something. Just wanted to leave me with some info about the guy. So you’re not answering my questions today.”

“What do you mean?”

“First, you didn’t answer me when I asked how work was, and now you’re not answering me when I ask if you’re okay.”

“I’m fine …” I could tell he was lying, but I didn’t call him on it. “And work was busy, that’s all.”

I bit back the urge to say something snarky. I didn’t want to fight with him, but I wanted us to talk about something if he wasn’t dealing well. Light bulb.

“So, I’ve been thinking you should come to therapy with me. I mean, it was your idea after all.”

“No, no. It’s fine. It’s about you; I don’t want to take away from it.”

I rounded to face Dean. He was gorgeous, even with dark circles around his eyes. “Look, you wanted me to do this, and that’s fine; I get you’re trying to help me out, but you need help too. She’s not going to tie me down and make me talk, so … I’m not going unless you do.”

I knew it was unfair, but sometimes you had to be unfair, right? If it was right for your partner. I knew that’s what Dean thought when he got me the appointment.

“Becca, that’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not, but just consider it, okay? Because I’m not the only one in the relationship that needs a little bit of help, and you seem to think it would be good for me, so what’s to make you think it wouldn’t be good for you too?”

I watched his wheels turning as he tried to find a good answer. A smile spread over my face as he realized he couldn’t and closed his mouth.

I glanced at my phone. “What time is the flight?”

He leaned over to look. “We should be there in three hours, just to be safe.”

Which meant we had three hours to kill. Dean moved closer to me, his thumb rested under my chin as he pulled me towards him. His lips touched mine gently.

“Thank you,” he whispered softly. I stared at him blankly as he kissed me again; this time, the kiss was stronger and lasted longer. His fingers tangled in my hair gently, pulling me closer to him. “I’m honestly so lucky to have you; I hope you know that.”

My cheeks flushed. “Why do you think that?”

“Because, I never thought I’d find someone after Jessica honestly, and after what I did to her—”

“You didn’t do anything to her,” I cut in. It wasn’t his fault she died.

“I just didn’t think that I’d ever meet someone like her again—no offense.” Oh, it was hard not to take any there. “But then I meet you and … and it’s just like all of a sudden I know this amazing girl who wants to accept me and … and everything I put you through. I should have told you the truth right off the bat. I should have told you what was going on when Keith showed up. And I didn’t. And it was my fault that he managed to get to you and … and I’m so sorry for that.”

“It’s all in the past, and it wasn’t your fault; you don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

It was true he should have told me what was going on, and if he had I wouldn’t be in a situation for Jessica Bright’s brother to get to me, but it wasn’t his fault that Keith Bright thought Dean had killed Jessica. Even if the police had ruled the option out.

Maybe if they’d ever caught the killer, Keith could let it go, but right now, he thought Dean was getting away with murder. Even I had to understand why he did what he did. I pulled away from Dean as my eyes locked on his. My heart sank a little as I saw the sadness in his eyes. He really did blame himself for this.

“Please, just consider going to my next session with me, please.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you.” I took his hand and squeezed gently, thankful that he was finally warming up to the idea. I mean, if I were going to have to go, he should too. Not just as in a tit for tat kind of way, but it was clear to me he needed it.

Dean pulled me into his arms, and we just lay there. Neither of us really paid much attention to what was on TV, but it was there as background noise. I didn’t realize how quickly the time went by as we just sat there and did nothing until Dean’s phone rang letting us know that it was time to start getting ready. As he called the cab, I applied a little makeup, and we made our way downstairs with our bags to wait for the cab.