Chapter Six

Dean closed the distance between us and pushed me down onto the floor gently. I let out a deep breath as his lips touched my belly, moving lower and lower. I spread my legs for him as his hands touched the back of my thigh, pushing my legs into the air as his tongue flicked over my pussy. I gasped, my eyes rolling back. I’d been thinking about this all day.

“Oh, fuck me,” I muttered.

“Not yet.” He pulled away from me with a grin. “I’m going to tease you, payback for teasing me all day.”

Him? Me teasing him all day! I bit back a laugh as I stared at him.

“But I want you so bad,” I pouted.

“Well, that’s just too damn bad for you.” He grinned widely, reaching for my breast. I gasped as he grabbed my nipple, playing with it between his thumb and forefinger.

He pulled away, his fingers tickling their way down my body. Lower and lower. Grabbing my hips, he pulled me towards him. The rough carpet burned my skin, but not enough for it to actually be painful. Actually, it was almost pleasurable. I swallowed dryly.

Dean’s finger touched the innermost part of my thigh before brushing over my clit. Desire boiled in the pit of my stomach.

My pussy itched to be touched, and I reached between my legs, but he stopped me.

“If you’re not good, I’m going to make you wait even longer,” he said sternly.

My heart skipped a beat as I nodded. He’d never been demanding in bed. I liked it. I swallowed dryly, waiting for him to keep touching me.

His fingers traced down my thighs. No! I wanted him to touch my pussy—wanted him inside me. It took everything I had not to go touch myself. But I needed something to do with my hands.

My hands massaged my breast gently. His eyes locked on me.

“Am I allowed to do this?”

“That is very much allowed.” He didn’t look away from my hands massaging my breast as his fingers made their way up my thigh again. A shiver ran down my spine as he touched my innermost thigh again.

I gasped as his finger slipped into me quickly.

“God, you’re almost dripping,” he cooed.

“That’s because of how horny you make me.” I grinned. “Are you going to fuck me? I want to feel your hard cock inside me. Pounding me until I’m screaming so loud everyone on this floor can hear me.”

I could see how much it affected him. His cock twitched, but it was the lust in his eyes that made me sure he was about to get up and grab a condom. I’d been on the pill for a couple days now, but we were still being safe.

“You sure do have a way with words.” Grinning, he stood up and padded over to his bag. I watched as he pulled a condom from the bag. “Get on your hands and knees.”

“You’re demanding today.” I smiled, rolling onto my knees. “I like it.”

“I’ll be more demanding more often.” He came back to me, sat behind me, and I heard him tear into the condom. My heart was racing, and my pussy throbbed to have him inside me. It was all I could think about. I swallowed dryly.

His hands touched my hips, pulling me closer to him. I felt his head against my lips. “Now, you said something about screaming so loud the whole floor could hear you?” I gasped as I felt his hand come down against my ass. “I expect to hear that.”

A moan passed through my lips as his hands massaged the spot he’d just spanked me. He pushed into me gently and I gasped, my hips grinding against him as his fingers dug into my skin and pulled me closer to him.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Soft and gentle at first, but that didn’t last long.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Faster and harder. Faster, faster and faster. Dean’s hand traced over the curves of my body, and I moaned as he pressed me down towards the floor. My legs spread wider. I gasped, feeling him in a whole new way.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Faster and faster.

I moaned louder, my nails digging into the carpet as he thrust into me faster and faster.

I rested on one elbow as my free hand reached between my legs and touched my clit. My eyes rolled back as my moans grew louder. My fingers circled my clit, massaging gently.

“You’re not going to cum on me already, are you?”

“I’m fucking close,” I admitted.

His nails dug into me gently as he let out a deep breath.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Faster and faster. “

“You’re not cumming yet.”

My body shook as I nodded. I could feel myself so close to the edge as I massaged myself and Dean slammed into me faster and faster. Harder and harder. Dean pulled me closer to him, his hands soft against my skin as he let out a deep breath. I looked back just in time to see his body tense and grinned as I closed my eyes, letting my eyeballs roll back as everything went a hazy white.

What can I say? I’m not good at taking orders.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

“Ohh, fuck me. I’m so close.”

Despite the fact he said I couldn’t cum yet, Dean thrust into me faster and faster, harder and harder. He pulled me closer to him. A ripple of pleasure ripped through my body as I let out a scream. My hips buckled as I gasped for breath, grinding against him. I moaned louder, my fingers fumbling over my clit frantically as a wave of pleasure surged through my body, so intense that everything was still a fuzzy white as another rippled through my body. My toes curled.

“Oh, oh, fuck yes,” I mumbled.

Dean gasped behind me, letting out his own sound of pleasure as he thrust into me faster and faster, his fingers tightening into my skin as he let out something close to a growl of pleasure.

Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

Waves of pleasure ripped through me, going from ecstasy to softer and softer. Another passed through my body, this time so soft I hardly felt it. I forced my eyes open as Dean gasped for breath above me; his hand traced over the curves of my body gently, rubbing my back.

“So,” I pushed myself up, blinking a couple times to get used to the light again. I let out a soft laugh, feeling a little dizzy and like a nap was just what I needed. “That was … intense.”

I moved, pulling Dean into a kiss, my fingers tangling in his hair as I pulled him close to me, my teeth grazing his lip gently.

His arms wrapped around my hips as our kiss deepened.

For a split second, my heart skipped a beat as I opened my eyes and stared at the man in front of me. You know that feeling of butterflies you get when you first meet someone and think wow, they’re amazing. That was the feeling I had. That feeling you get when you first realize you have a crush on someone, and your heart does a backflip? Yea, that feeling. I tried to pour every ounce of emotion I had for Dean into that kiss—not that he would ever understand it or get how much I cared about him.

Finally, I pulled away and gave him a smile.

“That was … sweet.” He kissed me quickly. “It must have felt really good; you never give me a kiss after sex.” He grinned widely, pulled the condom off himself and stood up to go throw it out.

A shiver ran down my spine as goose bumps covered my skin. I grabbed my clothes and quickly slipped into them, not really sure how we’d made our way from one end of the room to the other; well, to the center where I’d left my clothes, but it didn’t overly surprise me—I mean, the room was small. I quickly dressed, just as Dean was coming out of the bathroom where the garbage was, and he pulled me back into his arms, guiding me down onto the floor again. He lay there, his arms wrapping around me.

“Does this mean I can expect business blowjobs from you whenever I’m on the phone with clients?”

I laughed softly. “No, that would mean giving out way too many blowjobs.”

“Oh,” he pouted, placing a kiss on my lips. “Really, though, I think we should have sex in my office sometime.” My cheeks flushed just thinking about it.

“With everyone around?”

“That’s what makes it fun.” He grinned widely. “I mean, just think about it …” His fingers traced down my chest softly. “I can call you into my office about needing to talk to you about something.” His eyes sparkled. “Maybe I’ll wait until you’ve done something wrong. And then I can lock the door and bend you over my desk and fuck your brains out, all the while reminding you that if you’re not quiet everyone is going to know you’re fucking your boss.”

I wanted to hate the idea, but the truth is, I kind of liked it. I didn’t dare say that out loud, but he must have figured out that I didn’t hate the idea because he kept going.

“I’ll make you wear a skirt that day, so I can just unzip my pants and slide right into you; of course, I’ll have to be careful not to get your uniform too dirty.” He rolled on top of me, grinning widely.

I returned his grin, pulling him into a kiss.

“And if I don’t want to have sex with you in your office?”

“Then I’ll give you a good spanking. But I’ll let you leave my office, the spanking will be after.”

I swallowed dryly. Oh, I liked the sound of both of those. “It will be hard deciding which one I want more.”

“We can always do both.” He rolled off me and pulled me into his arms. “Of course, the sucky part about having sex at work is that we can’t cuddle afterwards.”

I closed my eyes and just savored every moment of us cuddling here. I knew there was a bed just a few feet away, but this felt … intimate more than anything. I didn’t want to move. I just lay there on the ground, rolling over to rest my head on Dean’s chest as I let out a deep breath. Something Kirra had said was on my mind.

“So, when I was talking to Kirra, she said you weren’t very nice to Brad.”

“Are you worried I hurt his feelings?” His eyes sparkled. My cheeks flushed. It was sad to admit, but I kinda was.

“I mean … I just—you weren’t rude, were you?”

“I was a little rude, yes.”

*

I wasn’t going to deny the fact I was rude. But I also wasn’t going to let her be mad at me for it. I took a deep breath and explained what had happened. Becca listened quietly until I finished.

“Oh … Kirra made it sound much worse. I’m sorry, I just … needed to be sure that he hadn’t said anything too wrong.”

My lips touched the top of her head. Have a little faith in me, I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud. It was kind of understandable if she didn’t have faith in me; I mean, why should she? I’d betrayed her before. And for some reason, she’s still here with me. I bit the inside of my cheek trying not to think about it. I couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t mad at me or how she could tell me she loved me. I wanted her to tell me she hated me—it was what I deserved, and I hated myself for putting her in that danger.

It’s in the past, I tried to tell myself, but I’d been doing that since the day it all happened. It wasn’t doing me any good. I still felt dreadful for hurting her. I could have gotten her killed and still could. There was nothing to say that Keith wouldn’t get away with what he did or get out eventually and come after me again.

I pulled her closer to me.

I should just end things with her.

I felt a tear prickle in the corner of my eye as I let out a deep breath and pulled away from her, turning my head so she didn’t see the look on my face.

“What’s up, babe?” She sounded worried.

How did I manage to meet someone like her?

“I …” I cleared my throat. “Dinner. We should grab some dinner.”

I felt her hand on my back. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, yea.” Swallowing back the urge to cry, I headed for the bathroom to get cleaned up. “Get dressed; we can go out for dinner tonight.” You know, because we had much of another option.

*

I frowned, watching him as he made his way into the bathroom. He was so not fine. But I wasn’t going to call him on it. There was no doubting the fact that everything going on was affecting him almost as much as it was affecting me. I didn’t need him to say it more than once to know that he blamed himself for what happened, despite the fact that I didn’t.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

My body froze. My heart raced all of a sudden. Oh, God. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my heart. No. This wasn’t what I thought it was. it’s just someone knocking on someone’s door. I rationalized.

But that didn’t really help. My heart was still racing. Pounding in my chest. Thump. Thump. Thump.

I gasped for air as I headed to the bed, sat down and closed my eyes.

Mistake.

I could feel the end of the gun against my head, shaking as the police told him to drop the weapon. I’d thought I was going to die. And sitting here on the bed in Italy, I knew that feeling again.

Not because I was actually in danger but because I couldn’t stop remembering how I’d felt standing behind the casino that day. I looked down at my shaking body, swallowing back a dry laugh. This could not be happening.

I was nowhere near the casino, but it felt so real. I inhaled sharply, feeling a tear run down my cheek. Even with my eyes open, I could still feel his gun on my head.

This is stupid. I knew it was, but I couldn’t make it stop. I tried to focus on my breathing. The therapist had talked to me about this happening. She said it might be common. I didn’t want it to be common. In and out. In and out. I’ve been doing it all my life, just focus on your breathing, and it will stop.

Okay, I wasn’t actually sure if it would, but it didn’t hurt to lie to myself— did it?

“Oh, my God, Becca.” Dean rushed towards me, and his arms wrapped around me before I pulled away shaking my head. Him touching me just made me think of Keith. I didn’t want to think of Keith when Dean touched me. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn’t seem to make my words work. I closed my eyes, letting out a whimper. I felt weak. I hated feeling weak.

“It’s okay, babe.” Tentatively, he reached out and touched my shoulder. “What can I do?”

What could he do? Nothing. I shrugged.

“Alright. It’s okay.” He took my hand and squeezed gently. “It’s okay. We’re going to get through this together, right? You hear me? We’re going to get through this together.”

Tears rolled down my cheek. “T-thank you,” I stuttered. I wasn’t sure if I was thanking him for being nice and understanding what I was going through or if I was thanking him because he said we’d get through together. I pulled away from him and wiped tears away from my wet cheeks, taking a deep breath. “Alright …” I was going to get over this. I wasn’t going to let it control me. “Just … just let me go put some makeup on, and then we can go out.” I sniffed back tears.

“We don’t have to go out if you don’t want.”

“No, let’s go out.” I swallowed dryly, trying to make sure I didn’t cry. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up alone in bed, because having people around didn’t make me feel that much better, and I knew going out in public wasn’t going to be good for me, but I wasn’t going to let this control me. I made my way into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. Come on, get your shit together, Rebecca. I bit my lip, staring at my red eyes before angrily wiping away the tears that started to fall from them.

“Babe, I really don’t mind if you want to stay here. I can go grab us some pizza, and we can just hang out here for the night.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” I forced a smile over my lips as I reached for my foundation.

“You were just having a panic attack, right?”

I think so. But I didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds. “It had all the signs that the therapist had told me about,” I admitted.

I didn’t like admitting that I was having panic attacks. I shouldn’t be thinking about anything like this.

“It was bound to happen. It’s okay.”

“Really?” I didn’t mean to snap, but I did. I sighed deeply. “It just doesn’t feel like it. It feels like a really crappy thing to do when my boyfriend takes me to Italy.”

“Have you been having fun here?”

“Of course.”

“Then that’s all that matters.” He gave me a soft smile. “Now, I’m going to go grab us some pizza, alright?”

“No! I want to try going out. If I’m not up for it, I’ll let you know.”

I turned my attention to the mirror and applied a quick layer of foundation. Thankfully, I’d learnt the five-minute face years ago. Next came the mascara, and then the lip gloss while I waited for the mascara to dry. I ran a brush through my hair, tied it into a quick braid, and then applied a little eyeliner and looked myself over. It wasn’t anything special, but I had to admit I thought I looked good. I grinned at myself in the mirror. With the foundation, I hardly even looked like I’d been crying. Other than the small amount of red around my eyes.

I took a deep breath and turned to face Dean. “Well, how do I look?”

“Gorgeous as ever.” He smiled, and my cheeks flushed as I headed towards the door to our hotel room, slipped into some flats and grabbed my new leather purse. I held the door open for Dean, and we headed towards the elevator—thankfully, I didn’t run into Brad or Kirra in it because I wasn’t sure I could handle that right now. I was pretty sure I’d end out killing someone within the time it took us to get to the main floor.

I was not as lucky as soon as we stepped out onto the main floor. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach as I saw Brad and Kirra.

She caught my eye but looked away quickly. It didn’t take much for me to realize her eyes were bloodshot too. My heart tightened. Had she broken up with him? I tried to look at Brad, but he looked just as professional as ever, talking to someone and shaking their hands with a wide smile across his face.

“He’s kinda a dick, isn’t he?” Dean whispered as we made our way towards the exit and onto the street.

“Kinda doesn’t begin to sum it up.” I shook my head. “But fuck them, we’re here to enjoy our time together, right?”

I could see the grin spread across Dean’s face as he pulled me into his arms, and then froze. “I um … am I allowed to do that now?”

“Yea … I just—it reminded me of Keith touching me.” I felt his hold on me loosen. “No! I don’t mind now. Now it’s fine. I just … it wasn’t before.” His arms tightened around me.

“Have you had a flashback before that I didn’t know about?”

“No.” And that was the truth. I hadn’t before back there in the hotel. My arm hooked around his hip as I let him lead the way towards the pizza place. “Hey, have you been here before?”

“I came for a night on business a couple years back, but I wasn’t staying in this area.”

I bit my lip. Just how much traveling have you done? I wondered. If we stayed together, would we do more traveling together?

“Maybe when you’ve got that famous hot chocolate business, I can teach you the ropes of getting international support.” His eyes sparkled as he looked down at me.

“That would be handy.”

He was silent for a couple seconds as we made our way into a restaurant. “You know, I really like that about you.”

“Like what?”

“The fact that you have your own goals …” He paused as a waitress led us to a table and offered to bring us each a drink.

“Water, please,” we both said in unison.

As soon as the waitress walked away, leaving us with our menus, Dean turned his attention back to me. “I mean the fact that you have a goal in mind. A business.” He smiled. “I mean, if we last—not saying I don’t have faith we will, but it is something to consider; we’ll both be business owners, not co-owners like most couples do, but we’ll both have our own successful business.”

“Hey, speak for yourself; I’m not promising my business is going to be anywhere close to successful.” I grinned, but it was the truth. I had no clue of whether could cut it.

“Oh, it will be; trust me.”