Adam

“Ma?” My palms were sweaty at my sides as I entered the house. It was near noon so she would be in the sunroom reading.

Ma was sitting on the couch with a cup of tea in one hand and book the size of a brick in her other hand. Her blue eyes widened at the sight of me, and she dropped the book on the couch and jumped to her feet, her lips spreading into a smile. She set her cup down and flung her arms around my neck as if she hadn’t just seen me last week.

She released her hold on me, and I caught sight of what she’d been reading—the Russian novel Anna Karenina. Anna. Would the woman never escape my thoughts? She had green eyes that I worried would be able to see the blackest part of my ugly soul. Ma joked that she’d named me after Adam. You know, the original Adam. The one who screwed humanity by eating the forbidden fruit? Yup, that’s me. Well, close enough.

“Adam, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

I sank onto the couch and picked up the book. “How many times you gonna read this?” I cracked a smile at her as she sat next to me and patted my knee.

She grabbed the book from me and set it on the end table next to her. “Stop stalling. Why are ya here?”

She knew me too well. Her dark lashes blinked a few times as she focused her light blue eyes on me, squinting like she could read my mind. I almost wondered if she could. “You’re killing me, boy. What’s going on?”

I didn’t think I could stay seated for what I had to say. I pushed up off my jeaned thighs and stood.

“Adam?” Her voice was a warning to my ears, and I took notice.

I shoved my hands in my pockets, tilted my head back, and shut my eyes. “I have to break a promise to you. I have to do something I promised you I’d never do again.”

She was behind me almost immediately. Her hand was on my arm, and she was tugging at me. “No, Adam.” Her voice was like a ghost of a whisper, as if she knew in her heart she wouldn’t be able to change my mind.

I slowly turned toward her, my eyes flashing open, my hands coming down over her arms. “I don’t have a choice. I need you to—”

Her eyes opened wider. “Give you permission?” She balked. “No.” An emphatic shake of the head followed. “No. No. No.” She looked away from me, rubbing her arms as if a chill rocked through her body, even though it was hotter than hell in the room.

“I have to do this with or without your blessing, but I’d prefer that you be okay with it.”

“Why? Why are you going to fight again?” Ma’s brows pinched together, and she pressed her fingers over her eyes as if it was too painful for her to look at me. I didn’t blame her.

“Les is in trouble.”

She dropped her hands to her sides. Her face was paler now, her lips drawn in a straight line.

“To help him, I have to fight again.”

“There has to be another way.”

My own pain, fear, and sadness were a reflection in her eyes.

“Money and threats can’t get me out of this.”

I walked over to the expansive window that looked out onto the rolling green hills behind the home.

“You can’t go down that path again. I almost lost you before—I can’t lose you again.” Her voice rattled with emotion.

“You won’t lose me—I’ll be okay. It’ll be over in November.”

“Once Donovan gets his grip on you, it won’t end. Not this time. We may not be able to save you again.”

“You don’t trust me?” I faced her.

“I don’t trust what fighting does to you.”

I didn’t want her to be right. Not this time. “Two months, Ma. In two months, I’ll put my fists down and never raise them again. You have my word.”

“Until the next time?” She crossed her arms. “I’m sorry, Adam. If you do this, you don’t have my support. I can’t give it to you. I can’t be a part of it. I can’t watch you destroy yourself.”

With that, she left the room. All I could do was stare, fixated, at the book on the table until the word Anna became a blur before my eyes.

* * *

I hadn’t been to the office until now. I’d been dodging calls from my family and Les. I wasn’t prepared to tell Les about the deal I’d made with Donovan.

I’d been training at my gym around the clock for the first few days, and then I hit up a few of the boxing gyms in the city and sparred with some of the guys. A few of them recognized me. Some of them had already heard I’d be fighting Saturday.

I had released some of my frustration on my sparring partners without going overboard. It was therapeutic. At the same time, it was strange to feel my fists once again connect with hard flesh. Not strange—frightening. I liked it too much.

By Friday afternoon, however, I had done all I could do. And I still had a job to do. I had a meeting I couldn’t back out of and so now I was sitting behind my desk, staring at my bruised knuckles. I hadn’t worn gloves to protect my hands when I’d all but torn up my speed bag with my fists last night.

Stupid.

“Hey, stranger,” Ethan said.

I hadn’t even heard my door open. Next time, I would lock it. “What’s up?” I leaned back in my chair and shifted my hands to my lap. Both my brothers were now standing in front of my desk.

Ethan was one of my younger siblings, and he rarely made an appearance at the office. He was still finishing up his MBA at Trinity College. If he was here, it meant one thing. Ma had talked.

Sean slumped in the chair in front of my desk and scratched his chin. “Is it true?”

Why was he even asking? “Obviously, or you wouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t do it, man. Don’t walk down that road again.”

Ethan, the notorious party boy, was giving me advice?

“Did Ma tell you my side of the story? Or did she just send you here to try and talk me down?”

Ethan came around next to me. He pressed a palm to the desk and narrowed his green eyes at me. “Les got himself into the mess—you don’t need to be the one to get him out.”

Sean blew out a breath. “You can’t do this,” he said.

I wasn’t sure whom to focus on—Sean or Ethan? They were hitting me from both directions, but it wouldn’t work. Les was almost as much of a brother to me as they were, and I’d go in the ring for them. Why couldn’t they understand I needed to do it for Les?

Of course, if they knew about Anna, they’d probably want me to go to the police. They didn’t grasp how dangerous that was.

“I’m not having this conversation. I have a meeting in ten minutes if you don’t mind.” I shifted upright and reached for some papers on my desk.

“You’re going to get yourself hurt or worse.” Ethan turned his back to me. “Don’t you remember what happened the last time you were in that ring?”

I pushed away from the desk, dropping the papers to the floor as my jaw clenched. I grabbed Ethan by the arm, spinning him to face me. My blood was heated, the anger spiraling through me. “Do you think there is one Goddamn day I don’t think about it? That I don’t feckin’ remember?” Breathing hard, I followed Ethan’s stare down to where my hand was gripping the material of his sleeve. I hadn’t even realized what I’d done. Bloody hell. I released my grip and raked my hands down my face, ready to claw at my skin.

“You’re already your old self again, aren’t you? Sure as hell didn’t take long.” My hands fell back to my sides at Sean’s words, hearing the disgust in his voice. Was he right? Was I him again?

Ethan lowered his head, shaking it a little at me, which made me feel like the scum on the bottom of some damn shoe. They didn’t bother to say anything else. They didn’t fight like I would have. No, they left me alone to sink back into my seat, to press my hands back over my face.

My mind tackled memories as they scratched their way up, but I shoved them in some dark corner of my mind, suppressing them. I couldn’t think about my past if I was going to step into that ring tomorrow. I had a fight to win.

A knock at my door had me jerking my head up.

Like a breath of fresh air she was. Anna peeked through the glass, and I waved her in. She was just what I needed to squash the pain.

She slowly crossed the room and stood in front of me. Her red skirt hugged her hips, and her tight black turtleneck showed off her narrow waist and full breasts. “Hi.” Her soft voice was like a gentle breeze on my hot skin.

I smiled at her. I couldn’t help it. It didn’t matter how angry or upset I was, all I had to do was look at her, and I grinned like an idiot.

Her eyes settled on my hands. “What happened?” she asked.

I couldn’t think of a lie, so I said, “I was working out at the gym and hit the punching bag a few too many times.”

Her lips parted as her eyes continued to linger on my hands, her brows pulled together.

“You okay?” I straightened in my seat, tucking my hands to my lap.

Her eyes flashed to mine, and she blinked a few times. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Did you need something?” I angled my head and another stupid grin crossed my face.

“Oh. Yes.” Her tongue rolled over her teeth, which was entirely too damn distracting. I could feel a slow stir in my pants as my cock grew hard. Horrible timing. I scooted my chair a little closer to my desk and tapped my fingers, trying to conjure up a slew of images to help ease my erection.

It only took one—Donovan’s face.

“So, do you remember how the kids at the center mentioned they’d like to go horseback riding?” She was holding something in her hands. It was her mobile. She tapped at the screen and slid the phone across my desk.

I reached for it and looked at a website for a horse ranch. “Where is this?”

“Just an hour and twenty-minute train ride west of Dublin. A place called Tullamore.” She raised her hands up in the air, fisted them and brought them near her lips. Her eyes gleamed. “So, the thing is, they’re closing soon for the season, but when I explained what we wanted to do, they made an exception. They can get us in next weekend.”

“Next weekend?” I swiped through a few of the photos. “That’s soon.” How could I pull that off? I had to train nonstop until November.

Her shoulders slouched forward. “Oh.” Her hands dropped, but then she extended her arm out, palm up, requesting her phone back. Instead, I closed my grip around the phone and stared at her soft hand. “I can tell the kids next week that it won’t work out. That they’re closing.”

“Tell me more about it.”

Her head lifted immediately, and the excitement was back in her eyes. “Well, they have a great house everyone can stay at Saturday night. Even a big campfire thing we can do that night. And on Sunday we can all ride. They have cowboy boots everyone can use. I figure we can get permission slips to the kids on Monday, and hopefully at least a dozen or so can come.” She paused, her eyes greeting mine like an embrace of two damned souls, and all I could feel was a sharp stab of pain in my gut. This thing between us—whatever the hell it was—was going to end badly if I allowed it to start.

“It’ll be a bit pricey, though,” she said with apologetic eyes.

Like money mattered to me. I slid her phone across the desk and she caught it.

I thought about what to do. I couldn’t let her take the kids without me, but could I risk taking time off from training?

“Okay.” I reached into my wallet and slid my black American Express over to her. “Book it. Get whatever you need for the trip.” I loved seeing her happy and the thought of that great group of kids doing something they may never otherwise get to do, well, it was worth missing a day of training.

Her eyes widened as she took my card. “Thank you. The kids will be so excited.”

“How did last night go without me there?”

“It was incredible. We spent most of the night just chatting. They’re such an awesome group of kids. It’s too bad you couldn’t be there.” She chewed on her lip for a second, her eyes studying my desk, and a brief thought of pinning her hot body to it—taking her right now— flickered through my mind. Christ, what was wrong with me? “Um, can we keep this trip discreet? You know, not let anyone at work—”

I raised my hands up in the air, and her eyes landed back on my knuckles. She took a small step back in her black heels, which showed off her perfect, golden calf muscles. “I know.” I waved my hand at her. “Now get out of here, I have a meeting.” My voice was a little throatier than I had meant, echoing the desire that was still planted inside me.

She nodded and turned, and I forced my attention on my computer screen and away from her perfect arse. “Anna?”

She peeked over her shoulder at me, her beautiful straight nose and full lips on display. “Good luck at your presentation with John this afternoon.” I had almost forgotten about it. I wondered how she was doing in the program, and kind of wanted to ask John.

“I’m nervous.” Her voice was small. “But thank you.”

“You’ll do great. No worries.”

“You think so?” She faced me head on, tucking her hair behind an ear as her high cheekbones deepened red.

“Yes. And when you kill it, go out and have some fun. Celebrate.”

She flashed me her straight, white teeth before turning away again.

I grabbed hold of a file on my desk and flipped it open.

“Not too much fun, though, Anna,” I said, and regretted it almost before the words were out of my mouth.