Chapter 2: Leaving

Nikki

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The office clock ticked from ten fifty-nine to eleven, and he still wasn’t in.

No call, no email, nothing. I’d say it wasn’t like him, but after last night, I didn’t know what to think. Everything about his behavior was strange, from our meeting in the airport to his abrupt departure before dinner with no explanation, to this.

The airport thing I chalked up to my surprise appearance. I should’ve known that was a bad idea. Stuart never liked surprises—but I didn’t regret it. The memory of him walking toward me in that airport... He was still so sexy.

I thought of his hands, long and elegant as he held the tumbler. It was all I could do not to make a sound as his lips parted to reveal straight, white teeth. He was a shade darker than Patrick, but they both had those hazel eyes. Stuart’s always burned with his drive, his focus, but I caught a peek of something else in them last night. Something haunted.

Standing, I paced around my desk into Derek’s old office, where he should be. If he was suffering, I wanted to help him. I wanted to nurse him back to health. I’d hoped last night...

Exhaling a sigh, I thought about how different I’d hoped last night would be. I’d hoped it would end with me blissfully entwined with his muscular body. Maybe it wouldn’t have been as wildly passionate as our first time, but I’d take whatever version of Stuart he’d give me.

Fifteen more minutes. Maybe I should go to the condo and check on him. He’d been so serious about rejoining the firm. What had he said? He wanted to hold up his end of the agreement with Derek? It didn’t make sense for him not to show up or call... or email.

If it were Patrick playing hooky, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. He’d most likely waltz in the next day with one of his cases closed, but Stuart was different. He didn’t go missing without a word.

Chewing my lip, I wished one of the guys was still here to check on him. As it was, my dropping by would be a bridge too far. I’d already gone after him twice. Still, he’d said his stomach was bothering him. He could have a virus, and nobody would know. He could be too weak to pick up the phone. He could dehydrate...

Another ten minutes passed, and I decided I’d try getting lunch. If he didn’t come in tomorrow, and I didn’t hear from him, I’d call Derek. He could casually check in without making it sound like I’d tattled.

Where are you, Mister Knight?

* * *

Stuart

The pickup rumbled down the highway in the direction of Bayville. I needed to get away, but I had one errand to do before I left. Just in case I never came back.

After I left Nikki’s, I went back to Derek’s place and tore through a bender. When I opened my eyes again, two days had passed. I was sitting on the bedroom floor with an empty bottle of Belvedere, an empty prescription bottle, and the few mementos from after my dad died in service. As the oldest son and the only Marine to follow in his footsteps, Mom had given them to me.

With bleary eyes, I studied his medal of honor and the assorted badges he’d earned for exemplary service, the flag he’d fought to defend, and then I looked at what I’d become. My own career cut short, I’d slowly devolved into this. A shame to his legacy, a black mark on everything he’d done. Chips cashed in, I only had one last thing to try. If that didn’t work...

Kicking my ass off the floor, I pushed through the headache and the hangover to the shower. For a while I stood under the warm spray and let it bring me back to life. After that, I dried off and dressed in dark jeans and a long-sleeved, white button-down. It would do for this errand.

A quick login to the firm’s server gave me the address I needed. I considered calling Nikki, but immediately dismissed that notion. She’d ask too many questions, and it’d be easier if I sent her an email. Or nothing. I hadn’t decided. I didn’t want people following me.

I threw all my shit into my pack and grabbed the keys to the rental. I had to return it since I was leaving the state, but I had money to buy something. It was more the delay associated with going through the process. I stopped in a used car dealership and bought a late-model, black pickup. Once I finished in Bayville, I’d drive it as far as Cleveland and fly the rest of the way to Montana.

I thought about my plans. Dad’s Medal of Honor should be with someone who deserved it. Lane was a baby, but maybe one day he’d do a better job carrying on our family legacy. I’d shot that privilege straight to hell.

The Jungle Gym was nicer than I expected from the tagline “Where the wild things are.” I expected it to be a bunch of MTV reality-show bad actors, since that was what this area was infamous for. Instead I found a decent-sized, respectable gym.

Someone spoke, but I didn’t acknowledge them. I was checking out the establishment when I said, “I’m looking for Kendra Woods. She goes by Kenny.”

“I’m Kenny.” The voice came from a tiny girl behind the counter. She was dressed in black and had enormous blue eyes.

Her appearance didn’t make sense, and I said what I thought. “I expected someone older.”

“I’m twenty-six, and you are...?”

She was pissed, but I couldn’t imagine my little brother having a baby with this person. She was not his usual leggy blonde. Nikki’s comment about them being very different echoed in my mind. Still, apart from the purple hair, she was cute in a waifish sort of way. Her eyes were a definite plus.

“I’m Stuart Knight. You know my brother Patrick. May I speak to you alone? It’s about my nephew.”

A tremor moved through my torso, and I reached up to rub the back of my neck. I needed to relax, but my action seemed to put her on guard. Probably all of this had her on guard, which wasn’t my intention.

Resistance stiffened her back. “We can talk here. Mariska’s my best friend.”

The person behind her stepped forward, and for a second, my control slipped. A pair of hazel eyes exactly like the sunset in the place I was headed struck me. Then her cheeks blushed a shade of pink...

“Hello,” I said, watching her.

“Would you like a smoothie? I make them myself, right over there.” She turned and pointed to the other end of the bar, and her chestnut hair swayed in long waves down her back. I imagined lacing my hands in those soft waves, pulling her head against my shoulder... “It’ll give you some privacy while you talk.”

“Thank you.” I looked down to break the spell, but my eyes caught on the sway of her ass as she crossed to the other side of the space. Small and perky, I wanted to see the mark of my hands on it.

Clearing my throat, I focused on Kenny. “I didn’t mean to frighten you. I have something for Lane.” I took out the medal wrapped in a piece of heavy black cloth and paused as she crossed to my side of the bar. “It’s my father’s distinguished service award. It was given to me when he died. I need you to give it to Lane as the first grandson when he’s older.”

Concern flooded her blue eyes, and I could tell she was smart. That’s when it all clicked. Patrick was a sucker for smart chicks.

“Are you ill?” She touched my arm carefully. “Do you want me to call Patrick?”

“No. I don’t want my brother involved.”

My voice was sharper than I intended, and another tremor tickled at my neck. I was losing patience. I needed to get out of here and to a drug store. I was about to pay for that fucking bender, and it was going to hurt like hell.

But Mariska was back. “On the house.” She held some kind of beverage. “It’s full of lavender and blueberry. It’ll help you relax.”

Just looking at her beautiful eyes seemed to help me relax, and her cheeks blossomed with that rosy glow. My gaze dropped to her full, pink lips, and a force inside me pulled. It didn’t make sense, but I wanted to explain why I couldn’t stay with her, why I couldn’t take her with me.

“I have to go,” is all I said.

“Where will you go?”

“My uncle has a place out west where I can breathe. It’s a place where I usually find peace.” Fuck. Why did I tell her that?

“Please let me call Patrick,” Kenny interrupted.

“Do not call my brother. I don’t want to see him.” My tone sent her back to afraid, but I couldn’t help it. I was barely fighting off the withdrawals, and her insistence pissed me off.

I went straight to the door and was just about to push through it when Mariska ran up to stop me. She was taller than her friend, but smaller than me. Her skirt swayed around her slim hips with her movements.

“You forgot this.” She touched my hand before holding out the cup.

Her skin was cool against mine, and I wanted to pull her against my chest. Memorize the feel of her body, take a deep inhale of her hair so I knew her scent. I wanted to watch her as I drove deep between her thighs, see how the light changed in those beautiful eyes. I wanted to hear the sounds she made when she came.

But it was more than sexual desire I felt. Her touch, the sound of her voice, did something to me. It filled my head with images of morning light breaking over her skin. Time passing in her arms. Her stomach round with my baby.

Jesus. It was coming off the fucking drugs is what it was. I needed to get out of here, to Uncle Bill’s. If I couldn’t get it together there, none of this mattered. Besides, I didn’t know anything about this woman. Correction, this girl. Up close, I could tell she was at least ten years younger than me.

“Thanks,” I said and pushed through the door.

* * *

Bill met me at the airport. I’d made it to Cleveland on Imodium and ibuprofen then I’d left the truck in the parking garage and boarded a five-hour flight to Great Falls, bolstered mainly by Benadryl and alcohol.

Bill was my dad’s younger brother, and like father, like son, they’d never gotten along. Still, my uncle had always been good to his nephews. He was someone I could talk to when my old man didn’t have anything to say to us. I rarely had much to say myself, but when I did, I expected someone to listen to me besides our mother.

I remembered my dad saying once Bill was an alcoholic. At the time I was too young to know what that meant, but from my father’s tone of voice, it sounded on par with being a murderer.

Bill conquered those demons years ago, and after, he’d owned a home in Arizona that Patrick and I visited every summer—minus our parents—and now this horse ranch in Montana. It wasn’t a functioning ranch, but he liked to keep a few horses on it. It was the only place I could remember ever feeling quiet, and Bill was the only person besides Derek who I’d ever felt like I could trust.

When I saw him at the airport, despite how tightly I was wound fighting all the symptoms with everything I had, the tension eased a bit.

“Boy, you look like shit.” He caught me around the neck in a hug.

“I feel like shit,” I confessed, pressed against his shoulder.

He let me go and passed a hand over his mouth under his thick, grey mustache as brown eyes evaluated me. His matching steel-grey hair was slightly long and swept away from his face, and his leathery skin was lined. Bill was as tall as me, and about as slim. I guessed we had the same build. He took what I said as seriously as I meant it.

“You’ve come to the right place.” With a nod, he started walking and I followed. “Winter’s barreling in, but the old timers say we’ve got a Chinook coming this year.”

“Think they’re right?” We went from the baggage claim out to his old blue Ford. Tossing my roll in the back, I was in the cab slamming the metal doors before I got my answer. 

“They usually are.”

“I only remember one since you’ve lived here.”

“There’s been a couple. Could last a day, might last longer. Either way, it’ll make everything downright tolerable for a little while.”

It would be an unexpected gift. We headed down the two-lane dirt road out into the middle of nowhere—exactly where I wanted to be. I wasn’t planning to lean on him. I wasn’t planning to ask anybody to help me out of the mess I’d made, but it was nice knowing I had someone close by who’d been there. Someone who loved me. It was the shit withdrawals making me weak, but it was how I felt.

We drove most of the way in silence, and I held on through the growing pain and nausea. I had more sleep aids and Imodium in my pack. It was going to be a helluva night, but I’d make it through this. What came after that, I hadn’t decided yet.

“You can take the east wing of the house if you want.” Bill said, once we were at the sprawling ranch. His expression was calm, but I knew he had a read on me. He wouldn’t crowd, which I appreciated. “You know Winona. She’ll be in tomorrow morning to cook. After supper, she heads back to her place in Black Eagle.”

“Thanks.” I nodded, not bothering to say I hadn’t felt like eating in weeks. “And thanks for taking me in. I can’t tell you—”

“Then don’t.”

We exchanged a nod, and I headed to my room, preparing to face the night.

* * *

Derek

Stuart was missing.

He’d only been back... shit, a week? Nikki called last night to say he’d stopped coming into the office. When she checked with Walter, he’d left the condo without a word.

He wasn’t acting like himself, she said. What the hell did she know about how Stuart acted? He was my partner, and I hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him. I had no idea what was going on with him, and now here I was, lying in the bed with my beautiful Melissa curled against my side not able to sleep for worrying about a man who was fucking as close to me as a brother. Dammit, Stuart. What the hell?

I’d been surprised when he’d wanted to come back. After his injury, he had to leave active duty, but my idea of us starting our own firm hadn’t satisfied him. To his credit, he stuck it out for years, but the pace was too slow for him. He needed action—I understood that. It was who he was. So he did Middle East private security a while.

Still, even the most fulfilling work has a season, and I’d never deny his place at Alexander-Knight. Even though his little brother was far more suited for the job.

Shit, I’d have to get Patrick in on this. Those two got along like oil and water, but of the three of us, he was the best at tracking people down.

Melissa stretched and sighed in her sleep, and warmth stirred my insides. I cherished few things in life, but at the top of the list was the way she moved against me when she slept. I’d told her I wouldn’t leave her again after Princeton, and now I might have to break that promise.

Her voice was thick when she spoke. “Are you having trouble sleeping?”

I reached down and smoothed a lock of dark brown curls away from her face. Her eyes were still closed. “Just thinking about Stuart.”

She sniffed and rose up, wrapping her slim arms around my neck. “Why are you thinking about Stuart?”

Her bare breasts were against my chest, and I couldn’t deny the rise that provoked. It was morning, after all, and images of last night drifted through my memory. Why she was only wearing panties. “He’s apparently gone off the grid.”

Sapphire eyes filled with concern, so beautiful. “Is he in trouble?”

“Don’t know. I haven’t talked to him.” Kissing her brow, I moved my hand up her side until I could slide a thumb across her tightening nipple. I didn’t want to think about Stuart right now or possibly having to leave her.

“You don’t seem too worried about him.”

I kissed the line of her jaw, feeling her smile. That smile was just the beginning of what I had in mind. “Worrying won’t help anything. I’ll take care of you and call Patrick in a little while.”

My mouth moved down the length of her neck. I spun her around and pulled her back firmly against my chest. She let out a little squeal.

“Do I need to be taken care of?”

My hand continued down her stomach, lower, until I found the edge of her panties. Pushing them down and off, my fingers explored the cleft between her thighs, locating that little bud hidden in the folds. Her head dropped back, and she let out a low, Mmm...

“Always.” My middle finger took a dip, and she made another little noise. She was already wet. “You tasted so good last night,” I whispered. “Open for me.”

Her thighs parted, and I slid into her from behind. God, it was the most amazing thing—hot, clenching. Her fingers rose and threaded into my hair as I kissed the side of her neck. Another little noise, a shiver. Looking down, I watched her breasts spilling over my forearm, rising with her gasps, as I held her tight against me. The sight was hypnotic.

“Your body is so beautiful.” My lips were close at her ear, and I kissed her beachy-rose scented hair. “I love the way you smell.” Circling harder on her clit, I hit her deeper from behind. Another noise and her insides clenched. My eyes squeezed shut. “God, the way your pussy contracts over me... You make me so hard. Just thinking about you—”

“Derek!” She squeezed my hand between her legs, where I rubbed her faster.

“Make that sound.” It was a low command. She whimpered in response. “I want to remember how you feel on my dick.”

“Oh, god!” She was getting close, and her ass bucked against my pelvis, pumping my shaft inside her. Shit, I was even closer. Hold on...

“Are you coming?” My voice strained. Nodding fast, her fingers curled tight, pulling my hair.

“Please don’t stop...” she gasped. Her hips bucked faster and all at once she strained then broke into trembling, a little cry came from her lips, and her insides pulled me.

It was more than I could take. Changing positions, I braced her hips and rocked hard into her. I needed to go all the way, pull her closer as I came. She moaned against the mattress. It was so good.

Two more deep thrusts, and my orgasm shattered through my pelvis. I held her, my eyes closed, savoring the intensity of this moment with the woman I loved more than my soul.

A deep exhale, and I rolled us together onto our sides, wrapping both my arms around her waist and burying my face in her hair. Her hands slid down my arms until our fingers entwined, and we held each other through the whispers of afterglow.

All those nights in the desert, all those conversations. I never could get Stuart to see how great a wife, a home could be. Now he was pulling me away from mine.

I softly kissed the top of Melissa’s shoulder, and she struggled to get free, so she could turn and face me. Sliding closer, she wrapped her arms around my neck, and our bodies touched everywhere, shoulders to chest to hip to knee, even our noses met—just before she kissed my lips. I pushed her onto her back and parted them, sweeping my tongue inside for a deeper kiss that earned me another little noise.

My lips moved to her cheek, and I held myself over her. “Stuart wouldn’t be lost if he had this.”

Reaching up, she held my face, lightly tracing her thumbs over my cheeks. “Aren’t you the same age? And he’s never had a serious relationship?”

My brows pulled together as I thought about it. “If so, he’s never told me. I mean, he can get laid whenever he wants, but he never lets it go far. He says women are a distraction.”

Blue eyes narrowed. “How many distractions did you have in the service?”

That made me laugh, and I moved to lie beside her. “None. I was with Allison, and then... I guess I shared his opinion for a while. Until you.”

Those dark years after my first wife died seemed so far away now that I had Melissa and Dex. When the cancer took Allison so cruelly and so fast, I turned to stone, my heart a ball of rage and bitterness. I’d done my duty to God and country and came home planning a long life with my wife, starting a family, building a home. She was gone before we ever even had the chance.

When I met Melissa, everything changed. She was beautiful and kind and strong and so sexy. She soothed the anger in my heart. She healed me with her love, and she gave me a son. I could remember my past, of course, but it made my present so much more precious.

She rolled up beside me. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” I smiled, touching her cheek, and she continued.

“So what does all of this mean for us? What are you thinking?”

My eyes went back to the ceiling. “I might have to leave you for a bit if he needs help.”

“Derek! He’s a grown man.” She fell back on the bed, arms crossed, and it was my turn to prop up beside her.

“He saved my life, Mel. If he’s in trouble, I have to be there for him.”

“Doesn’t he have a family?”

“His dad was killed in the service. It’s just his mom, Patrick, and their little sister Amy.” With a big sigh, I rolled onto both elbows, onto my stomach. “Amy’s a college kid, and he’d rather punch Patrick in the face than take help from him.”

“Sounds like a prick.”

I couldn’t help laughing again. “I know you love Patrick, but I had that initial response to him myself.”

“Patrick is one of the good guys. If you can’t see that—”

“Settle down, I can see that. He might color outside the lines, but he manages to turn it around and come out on top. He’s a good man.”

That satisfied her. She smiled and relaxed her crossed arms, I reached out and pulled her against my side. “It’s more than an obligation. I want to be there for Stuart. You’d feel the same way if it was Elaine.”

She couldn’t argue with that, so we were quiet a moment. A tiny squeal from down the hall broke the silence, and we both grinned. I was out of the bed first, heading down the hall without bothering to grab underwear.

Of course, Mel catcalled after me. “Holy shit! Check out that rear view!”

Dammit again. Stuart had better have a good reason for pulling me away from this.