“THIS SEEMS LIKE A REALLY BAD PLAN to me, Gabs,” Kayla says, determined to rain on my fucked-up parade. “These kind of arrangements never work out for the best.”

Maeve’s eyes are still bulging out of her head, and I’m not surprised. But I’m shocked by Kayla’s reaction. She’s a free-spirit, a believer in free love and all that. She doesn’t really believe in monogamy, and is always in casual and friends-with-benefits relationships. She doesn’t usually take sex too seriously.

“What’s the big deal?!” I ask. “It’s just sex. I’ll have some fun, and then when I come back, I won’t be so angry, and John and I can pick up the pieces.”

“But that’s not you,” Kayla points out. “It’s never just sex for you.”

“How do you know?” I scoff. “You don’t know me that well.”

“So this hottie’s going to screw the angry out of her,” Corrie says. “And then she’ll be able to stand John again, and not want to tear his balls out. And she’ll get to see Copenhagen, which is an amazing city. What’s the big deal?”

Kayla puffs out a breath and makes a ‘tsk’ sound.

“I think you’re a little jealous,” Corrie taunts.

Kayla rolls her eyes.

Maeve finally blinks.

And Corrie laughs.

When the one week is up, John asks me if I still want to do this, and I tell him yes. “I can’t believe you’re willing to destroy our marriage for a quick meaningless fuck,” he says.

“Says the man who’s had a five month affair,” I reply, and the conversation is over.

I still have Eli’s e-mail address in my contacts. My heart beats frantically against my ribcage as I type the few words that might change my life.

Hi Eli,

I know I’ve ended it between us, and thank you for respecting my wishes and not contacting me.

I feel nauseous. Maybe he never really cared. Maybe that’s the reason he gave up on me so easily. What if he thinks I’m a crazy bitch who likes playing games, and never replies? That would completely destroy me.

But something’s happened, and I would really love to talk to you. Please reply when you can. :)

Gabriella

The next two days are pure torture. I obsessively check my phone, and every single time, there’s nothing. I start to wonder if I’ve really gone crazy. Maybe I should talk to someone, a professional. I don’t cry in my pillow, but I do cry in the bath, on the floor of my en-suite, and my walk-in closet. What was I thinking? The man does think I’m a crazy bitch. I picture him with some young hot blonde. I picture John with his pretty brunette. I pull at my hair, trying to erase the images. I can’t go on like this.

Theo finds me kneeling on the plush carpet of my closet. I’m crying into my pink bathrobe, the one with little rainbows all over it.

“Mommy?” he says. I never usually cry in front of the kids — this must be a shock for him. “What happened?” he asks. “Did you hurt yourself?”

Did I hurt myself? Yes, I did. I made my own bed when I willingly embarked on this relationship with a seductive stranger. And John has hurt me too, so much.

I smile up at him, and in that small precious moment, I remember that I still have my wonderful children, no matter what. John can’t take that from me. “I did,” I tell him. “I knocked my head on the corner of that dresser. It hurts a lot.” I press the palm of my hand on my forehead.

He pouts and inches closer. “Can I kiss it better?”

His words make me cry even harder. “Yes.” I pull my hand away, and he presses his soft tiny fingers in my hair and kisses my forehead.

I grab him in my arms tightly, and never want to let go.

Sorry, I haven’t checked my e-mail for a while. Very busy in the studio. I was surprised to hear from you. What’s up, Gabriella?

His message catches me by surprise – I’d almost given up on him. I’d almost given up on John too. I’ve been angry and miserable. I just want to do this, and get all this over with.

I want my old life back.

Can we video chat?

About an hour later, he replies.

Sure. When?

I check my watch — it’s two in the afternoon. The kids are at school, and John is at the gym.

Now?

I anxiously check my phone, and about fifteen minutes later, he replies.

Sure.

A few minutes later, we’re on Skype, and I’m looking right at his beautiful face. It’s exactly like I remembered. His hair is a scruffy mess, he has five-day stubble, and wears a worn grey t-shirt. He looks like a bum, yet he’s still gorgeous. His eyes are as amazing as ever, and laced with concern.

“Did something happen?”

“Yes, you could say that.”

He cocks a brow, very curious.

My gaze shifts to the vase of flowers on my desk — I can’t look at him. “I found out about two weeks ago that John has been having an affair.”

A venture a look up at the screen — he’s shocked. And speechless.

“Anyway, it’s been tough.”

“I’m so sorry, Gabriella,” he finally manages. “You don’t deserve that.”

“I know. I haven’t been completely innocent myself, I know, but I ended things between us when I thought it was going too far.” I can barely look at him — every time I do, I’m filled with want. I still want him.

He nods. “I know. You were good. You did the right thing.”

“I always do the right thing.”

“I know,” he says quietly, and his gaze is fixed to mine — his eyes seem darker, and his voice softer. A long silence threatens to make the conversation uncomfortable.

“I want to see you,” I blurt out. My heart is pounding, and I can barely breathe. “I want to come and see you in Copenhagen. For a week, maybe.”

His eyes darken. “Oh…”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry. You’ve probably got a lot going on. You don’t wanna see me—”

“It’s not that… it’s just, I don’t want to be in the middle of…” He inches closer, and his flawless face fills my screen. “You’re hurt, and you’re not thinking straight.”

My chest caves in. He doesn’t want me. This was just a fun on-line flirtation. He thinks I’m a bored crazy housewife. I’ve been such a fool.

“I know, I’m stupid,” I say. “Sorry I bothered you—”

“No, no. Don’t you dare,” he snaps. “Don’t you dare end this call. We need to talk.”

I let out a sigh. “About what?!”

A slow smile curves his lips, and I completely melt. “Well, first off, I’d love to have you visit,” he says. “We could have so much fun.”

I smile like a kid at an amusement park.

“But I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret. I don’t want to be a pawn in your marriage games, Gabriella. I like you too much for that. And I don’t want you to do this just because you’re mad at your husband.”

I nod. “I know…”

“I want you to think this over for a few weeks, and then if you still want to visit, I’ll be glad to have you. I love having people over. My sister comes to visit about once a year.”

I’m so excited, I feel like I might burst, but I desperately try to contain my excitement. I clear my throat. “That sounds like a good plan. My friend, Corrie, says that Copenhagen is an amazing city, and it’s one of the few places in the world I haven’t had a chance to see.”

He smiles. “I think you would love it.”

“Yes, I think I will,” I say, and catch myself. “I mean, I think I would.”

“And if you decide to come, I’ll be the perfect host, and gentleman.”

Darn.

“Sounds great.”