ELI PULLS OUT A TREAT for Floyd, and we scarf down some sausage on a bun from a street vendor — we’re both famished. “This is the best sausage I’ve ever tasted,” I tell him.

“Everything tastes better when you’re starving,” he says as we walk out of Christiania. The weather has been overcast all day and finally the rain hits us. We’re not surprised. We expected it, but not early enough to bring umbrellas. We get drenched as we walk back home, and it is freezing. Yet, I’m having so much fun. How can even the nastiest weather not foul my mood? I guess this is what they call love. The giddy kind. The kind that has an expiration date. Our expiration date is in four days.

When we finally get home, Floyd shakes off his fur, showering us in the process, but we couldn’t care less — we’re already drenched. “Come here,” Eli says. He grabs my bag, takes my hands, and we head to the bedroom. He throws the bag on the bed, and peels off his jacket. “Strip,” he says. “I want it all off, except for the panties.”

I smile and obey willingly, peeling off my clothes so fast, you’d swear I was in a ‘get naked’ contest. He tears off his white t-shirt, and his abs look more delicious than ever. When I finally get down to my panties and bra, he winks. “The bra too.”

I reach back for the clasp, bashful. I undo it and let the flimsy lace material fall to the floor. I’m cold and vulnerable. My nipples are hard, from the chill of the room, and also from the way he’s looking at me, like he wants to eat me up whole.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he says and inches closer. “Let me have a taste before I cover you.” He bends down, and takes my breast in his mouth.

I gasp in pleasure, enjoying every second, but before long, he releases me and reaches for the bag. “Put it on.” He throws me The Doors t-shirt. I catch it and bring it to my nose. It smells like Christiania which is a scent I can’t quite describe — freedom, pot... paint, garden. I slip it on.

“Sexy as sin,” he practically growls. He’s still wearing his worn jeans and leather belt, and I quickly take care of that.

We make love on the bed, for the second time today. Post-lovemaking, we lie in each other’s arms and suck on our lollipops. We stare up at the beams of his ultra-cool loft ceiling, and we daydream.

The rest of the evening is a little fuzzy. Everything swirls around me, and I feel freer than I’ve ever felt in my whole life. Everything seems more amazing, more colorful. We dance around the living room in our underwear. I’m still wearing the t-shirt I bought, and we’re listening to The Doors on Eli’s vintage record player. The sound is scratchy but it’s so much better than listening to a CD. “I need to get myself one of those players,” I tell him. “I could start collecting records.”

I feel so mellow, so open. For the first time in a long time, I don’t think about anything but the moment, and how beautiful Eli is. I don’t worry about tomorrow, or replay yesterday. I don’t worry about goodbyes, or wonder if I’m doing the right thing, if I’m messing up my life.

None of it matters. There is only this moment, and the two of us.

We share countless kisses and even more laughs, and when the hours have finally worn us down, I fall asleep in his arms on the blue sofa.

I check my messages first thing in the morning. The time difference makes communication a little tricky. It’s ten in the morning here, but it’s still just four in the middle of the night back home. They’re all sleeping.

My heart swells when I see a message from Emma.

I don’t know.

I’ve rested Eli’s elephant painting against the wall on top of his dresser, just where I can see it when I’m in bed. It still amazes me every single time I look at it. Following a nice shower, I slip into some comfortable capris and a striped t-shirt and hoodie. We’re going to Tivoli Gardens today, and I’m so excited. It’s the second oldest amusement park in the world, and it was on my bucket list.

We share a quick breakfast; toast, apples, and croissants. Eli whips up some banana smoothies, and I smile at the memory of those banana photos. “I loved those silly banana pics,” I tell him. “You clearly have too much time on your hands.”

He laughs. “I guess you could say I was a little excited about you coming over.”

“Me too,” I say as he hands me a smoothie.

We walk to Tivoli Gardens, and I’m glad I’ve worn my sneakers because I have a feeling we’ll be doing a lot of walking. Eli looks delicious as usual; he has that fashionable European thing going on. I don’t think I could ever tire of looking at him.

Large colorful vintage posters catch my eye as we make our way closer. “We’re almost there,” he says. We’re like two small kids, practically bouncing. I wonder if he’s always like this; full of life. Or is it because he’s with me? I know I’m not always like this. Is he in love too?

Is it love? Or is it just plain old lust?

As soon as we enter Tivoli Gardens, my mind is blown. They say Disneyland is the most magical place on earth. Nope. It’s Tivoli Gardens. I feel like I’ve walked back in time.

We pay for our entrance tickets, and Eli takes my hand. “This time of year is generally not too busy,” he tells me. I’m still speechless — everything is just so beautiful. Even the garbage bins are cool, covered with vintage designs. All the games and prizes are retro inspired, even the rides have retained their classic vibe. I look up at a small roller coaster and wonder if it’s safe. I’m willing to take the risk.

Eli squeezes my hand. “Let’s go on a ride.”

We line up for the Ferris wheel; hot air balloons lift up high in the sky where I’m sure the view is unbelievable. As we wait in the queue, Eli sneaks a few kisses. I blush — I’m not crazy about public displays of affection. I stare down shyly at my hands. My wedding ring glitters under the sun. The huge diamond is hard to miss.

I think about the kids. I know they’d love this place. I resolve to come again, with John and the kids. Maybe in a year or two, when I’ve turned the page on this, and am in a new chapter. I will no longer be in touch with Eli. I wonder what it will feel like to be here, knowing he’s not far away, and knowing I can’t go to him. I shake my head. On second thought, it sounds like a terrible idea. We best stick to Disneyland.

“What’s wrong?” Eli asks. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Oh, I’m good,” I tell him. “I was just worrying again. I’m a big worrier.”

He smiles down at me, and I forget all my worries. “These rides are old but they’re safe. I promise.”

We finally get to settle our rears, and he wraps an arm around my shoulder. He feels so warm, and it feels so intimate, just the two of us in this balloon. He presses his hot mouth on mine, and he makes me want him again. I wish our last kiss could taste bitter, so I wouldn’t miss him so much. Because I know I will, every single day. How long will it take for him to fade? Will he ever fade?

Just enjoy the moment, I remind myself.

The view of the park is amazing up here. I close my eyes and lock this moment in a little corner of my mind. I’ll remember this forever.

Following our adventure up high in the sky, we stay low on the ground. We walk leisurely through the game kiosks. My eyes are greedy — I love all the retro inspired treats and prizes, and all the colors and vintage signing. When I get excited over the giant chocolate bars, Eli makes it his personal mission to win me one. I keep telling him that my hips don’t need it, but he won’t let it go. Finally, after about thirty Euros (which is about thirty-seven American dollars) down the drain, he finally wins me one. I’m ecstatic when I get to pick it out. Although, we didn’t think this through, because now I have to walk around the place with a giant chocolate bar in my arms.

“What are you waiting for?” he asks. “Let’s dig into that thing.”

I laugh. “Sorry, buddy. It’s for my kids.”

A slow smile traces his lips. “You’re a good mom.”

There’s something else in his eyes. Regret? Sadness?

“What is it?” I ask.

He shifts his gaze. “I... it’s nothing,” he stammers. “It’s just that when I think about them, I feel guilty. The two of us…”

“Please don’t,” I tell him. “This is all me. This is all me and John. You’re not doing anything wrong, Eli. If anyone’s not going to heaven, it’s me,” I joke.

He smiles. “Oh, you’re definitely going to heaven.”

I laugh. “You think?!”

“Positive.”

We fall into silence, and melt into the hubbub of the crowd. I feel conspicuous holding the giant chocolate bar. Children eye me with greedy eyes, and their mothers eye Eli with the same expression.

After the longest time, he breaks the silence. “I really didn’t want to do this,” he admits. “It’s why I fought it at first.”

“It was asking a lot from you.”

“Sex is easy enough to find,” he says. “I just need to get out of the studio, buy a woman a drink… there are so many attractive women in Copenhagen.”

I smirk up at him. “Uh-huh, you don’t say.” Yes, I’m pretty sure they’re all much hotter, and younger than me.

He grins at me. “Let me finish,” he pleads. “So I tell myself that I don’t want to be part of this mess, I don’t want to be part of your drama. I tell myself that it will end badly, and I’ll get hurt, but it’s hard to believe that you could ever hurt me. I tell myself that I can just pick up a pretty young thing at a bar nearby, and probably fuck her any which way I want. But the thing is…”

I’m riveted. Although we’re surrounded by people, a rainbow of colors and a chorus of sounds, there’s only the two of us here.

“The thing is… I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he goes on. “Ever since the first day I chatted with you, you’ve been the only one for me. I didn’t want any of those nameless flawless faces. I wanted you. I knew I’d always regret it if I didn’t grab the chance to touch you, to smell you and have you right here in my arms, even if it’s only for a week. That was worth all the risk in the world.”