at the ominous sound of the doorbell. I looked to Carson for reassurance, which unfortunately didn’t come because he looked just as nervous as I felt. For the last ten minutes, scenarios of how this meeting was going to go were running through my brain. In reality, I actually had no idea how his mother was going to react to me at all.
Carson set his laptop on the coffee table and stood. “Come on; let’s get the awkward first meeting out of the way.”
My mouth was dry when I tried to swallow. “Okay,” I croaked, standing as well and following him into the hallway, deliberately hanging back and barely stepping out the lounge door.
Through the patterned, frosted-glass panel down the side of the door, I could see two figures standing there. As Carson opened the door, I held my breath and nervously wrung my hands.
Carson’s mother looked the total opposite to what I thought she would. Carson was incredibly handsome - your typical heartthrob with his chiselled good looks and striking blue eyes - but his mother was plain in comparison to what I had envisioned. I had always figured she would look like a tall, leggy goddess, so I was a little shocked to see a shorter, dumpy brunette lady. She was dressed impeccably in a pencil skirt, high heels and white shirt combo. Behind her stood a girl about my age. Judging by the flawless complexion and light-brown hair, I immediately guessed this was one of Carson’s little sisters. To my horror, it was then that I realised I didn’t even know their names.
His mother barely stepped foot into the house before the inquisition started. “Carson, what’s all this nonsense I’m seeing about you and a lap dancer this morning?”
I cringed, wishing the polished white marble floor would open up and swallow me.
“It’s not nonsense,” Carson answered, closing the door behind them. “I met Emma three years ago in the club she works at. We… hit it off immediately.” He raised one eyebrow as he obviously left her to draw her own conclusions about what ‘hit it off’ meant.
“Hit it off? With a lap dancer? Carson Matthews, have I really brought you up to be this person? Someone who has sex with girls like that?”
‘Girls like that.’ Ouch. That stings. I stepped back into the doorway, half-hiding as my eyes filled with shameful tears.
Carson’s forehead creased with a frown as his shoulders pulled back. “You brought me up to see the good in everyone, yes,” he rebutted.
She made a distasteful sound in her throat and shook her head. “All you can ever see in a girl like that is what you can use her for.”
Carson’s sister’s gaze flicked to me and her lips parted as her eyes widened. Carson’s mother was clearly too busy glaring at her son to see me cowering in the doorway like a wounded puppy. I winced, squirming on my feet.
“It’s not like that,” Carson stated. “Emma’s nice, you’ll like her.” Seeing Carson stand up to his mother on my behalf made me feel a little flicker of love inside. No matter what he thought of me and what he’d said to me earlier in my bedroom, he was standing there facing her and telling her he saw the good inside me. Even though he’d hurt me so damn much today, I couldn’t help but feel proud he was willing to stand up to his mother for me.
“Like her? You’re not seriously going to continue with this sordid little affair, are you? You need to think about your career and your sponsors. Have you even thought about the damage an association like this can do? You’ll lose all sorts of advertising campaigns after this. People don’t like to have their companies associated with scandal,” she retorted angrily. “And what’s all this bull poop about her having a child? For goodness’ sake, they’ve even linked you to it! Have you spoken to Mason? What’s he doing about all of this? They’ll obviously have to print a retraction and apology. It’s ridiculous.”
They still hadn’t moved far from the front door. His sister was just watching with wide eyes like I was. “Actually, it’s not ridiculous,” Carson answered. “Emma does have a child, a little girl called Sasha. She’s mine.” His voice was firm and confident as he spoke.
His mother’s mouth popped open in shock as she recoiled. “Yours? Don’t be obtuse!”
Carson sighed and raked a hand through his hair. “She’s mine, Mum. Emma got pregnant not long after we met. I only found out about it today, too. I haven’t even met her yet.”
His mother’s eyes closed as she massaged her temples in a small, circular motion. “But how can she be? Did you not use protection? Even with someone like that? Carson, for goodness’ sake, she could have given you anything! Goodness knows what she’s contracted through sleeping with other men or sharing needles!” Her eyes popped open. “Please, tell me she’s not a drug addict.”
“What the hell? No! She doesn’t do drugs. Jesus. Judgemental much?” Carson snapped angrily. “It isn’t like that. Emma isn’t like that at all!”
“Well, she’s a lap dancer!”
“Yeah, and she’s also in her second year at university studying to become a social worker!” Carson rebutted.
“This has to be a dream. This can’t be real,” his mother muttered, shaking her head.
Behind her, Carson’s sister stepped forward. “I’m going to go sit in the other room while you two shout this out,” she stated, walking toward me and catching my elbow, pulling me into the lounge with her. Carson and his mother didn’t even acknowledge her leaving as they glared at each other. “Hi. I’m Kimberly, Carson’s sister,” she said once we were safely away from the family feud happening in the hallway.
“Emma,” I croaked.
She nodded. “I know who you are. Carson’s told me about you before. He said you were really pretty and sweet-looking.” She smiled kindly. “Please excuse my mother’s behaviour. She gets extremely protective over her family. She’ll calm down soon and see sense. She just goes off on a tangent and storms in without thinking everything through.”
I nodded weakly. That was exactly what I’d thought earlier about Carson, too. Clearly he’d inherited a lot from his mother – just not her looks.
“He’s told you about me?” I asked, watching the door to make sure they weren’t going to follow us in here.
She threw herself down onto the sofa and pulled out a packet of chewing gum. “Yep. He said you two were friends.”
“With benefits,” I added, biting on my nails nervously.
She chuckled. “Yeah, with benefits.”
Raised voices in the hall made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. “And by working things out you mean that greedy little witch is putting in her claim for as much as she can! She’ll bleed you dry. Just watch, she’ll lay claim to everything you own. I bet you were an easy target for her. A young, impressionable boy with no clue how girls like that work. I bet her gold-digging eyes lit up when you first met!”
“I didn’t have anything when we first met, actually,” Carson shot back. “I hadn’t even been signed to a team when I first met her. I was a nobody. Emma doesn’t want my money.”
“Of course she does!”
“If she wanted my money then why has she never demanded it all this time? Sasha is almost two, yet Emma has never asked me for a penny!”
I flopped down on the sofa next to Kimberly, and she patted my arm sympathetically. “This is a mess,” I muttered, putting my head in my hands.
The shouting continued as I sat there with my heart in my throat, barely managing to keep my tears at bay. “That little girl isn’t yours, Carson. Wake up! She’s taking you for a fool and exploiting you! Have you asked for a paternity test?”
“I don’t need a paternity test. Emma’s word is good enough for me. She says Sasha is mine, and that’s all I need to know.”
I smiled weakly because I actually loved that Carson trusted me like that.
“If she really is yours then why did she never tell you about her?” Carson’s mother shot back sarcastically.
Carson sighed heavily. “She said she was doing it for me because she wanted better for me than to be a teenage father.”
“Sheer and utter bull poop!” his mother scoffed. “Another lie to lure you into her web!”
“Look, if Emma was after my money then she would be the one insisting we get married, not me. You’ve got her all wrong.”
“Married?” his mother shrieked, clearly horrified.
“Married?” Kimberly whispered next to me.
I nodded and looked up at her shocked face. “Apparently,” I confirmed noncommittally.
“You can’t marry a stripper! Have you lost your mind?” his mother cried.
“Mum, seriously, you need to stop this judgemental act. That’s the mother of my child you’re disrespecting. You just need to get to know her. She’s not like you’re thinking she is!”
“What is she like then? Because I’m thinking she’s approaching her thirties, boob job, slutty clothes, and crude tattoos covering her body.”
Carson laughed incredulously. “She’s just turned nineteen, definitely no boob job, she rocks a hoodie, and no tattoos at all,” he answered before adding, “Not that there’s anything wrong with tattoos, of course.”
“And when do I get to meet the little gold-digger so I can make my own judgement on her?”
I sank into the seat further, wanting to disappear or run for the hills.
“She’s right in there, hiding and probably listening to every nasty word you’ve said about her,” Carson answered.
When two sets of footsteps sounded toward the room, I jumped to my feet and watched the door, horrified. His mother’s eyes were hard as she stepped into the room. The blue to her eyes was the exact colour of Carson’s and my daughter’s. Without speaking, her gaze raked down me slowly as if sizing me up and seeing exactly what level of depravity she had to deal with. Carson walked into the room, bypassing his mother and coming to stand next to me. Unconsciously, I cringed into his side, wanting to hide from the judgemental, scathing look on his mother’s face.
“Mum, this is Emma, my fiancée. Emma, this is my mum, Jillian Matthews.” He placed his hand on the small of my back and the heat emanating from his skin was strangely calming.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs Matthews,” I forced out, my voice small and intimidated. I knew right then and there I would never like this woman, and by the disgusted look on her face, the feeling was going to be mutual.
One of her perfectly-plucked eyebrows rose as her lips pressed into a thin line. She didn’t answer as she swung her handbag from her shoulder and looked through it, coming out with a chequebook and pen. “So, how much will it take for you and my supposed grandchild to disappear?” She dropped her bag on the floor and flicked open the chequebook, looking at me inquisitively. “Ten thousand? Fifteen? Or have you set your sights higher than that?”
I almost choked on air. It looked like it wasn’t only Carson who thought I was a nasty prostitute that needed money thrown at her. “I don’t…” I shook my head firmly as Carson growled in frustration.
“Mum, what the hell? Just stop it!” he cried angrily.
She ground her teeth. “Well, someone has to sort this situation out! Her claiming you two have a daughter together will be disastrous for your career!”
That was when I saw red. “Claiming? I’m not claiming it, we do have a daughter,” I growled. Clearly this woman thought I was after one thing and one thing only: money. Yes, I worked at a strip club and yes, we had a daughter together, but it wasn’t like I was using the information to fund my own life. I had never wanted anything from Carson other than for him to love me – which would never happen. “But I’ve already told him he doesn’t have to be involved. If he wants to brush this under the carpet, then he can. I’m not the one you should be waving your chequebook at! I’m not the one insisting we play happy families, he is!” I pointed at Carson angrily. Of course, I could understand I’d done wrong by her son in her eyes, but in my eyes I had always tried to shield him from this. It wasn’t my fault the papers suddenly investigated it. If anything, it was Carson’s fault for giving me that necklace when the reporter was sitting there watching.
Her hard gaze fell on Carson. “See, she’s willing to let this all go away. Why can’t you?” she asked harshly.
“And be like Dad?” he retorted. “You want me to be like him and watch my kid and her mum struggle while I just go on living my life? I wouldn’t have thought you’d wish that on anyone seeing as you went through it once.”
Her tough exterior faltered, her eyes twitched as her lips parted. “Of course not. I don’t want anyone to struggle like we did, but you don’t have to do this. You should do a paternity test. If the little girl really is yours, then you can see they’re all right for money. This doesn’t have to ruin your life,” she said, her voice softer and calmer now.
I looked up at Carson, actually willing him to listen to her. He wouldn’t listen to me when I said the same thing; maybe her being angry like this would actually make him see sense.
Carson’s arm snaked around my waist and I was tugged closer to him, pressing against his side. “They’re not ruining my life. Sasha is mine. Emma and I are getting married. Everyone else and their opinions can go fuck themselves for all I care.”
Jillian threw her hands up in exasperation. “I can’t believe this. Honestly, this is ludicrous. I refuse to stand by and watch you throw your life away for that!” she stated, jabbing an accusing finger at me on the word ‘that’.
“Then don’t watch,” Carson answered calmly as he raised his chin confidently.
They scowled at each other for an agonising couple of seconds, locked in some kind of battle of the stares, before Jillian sighed and looked away. “Come on, Kimberly, we’re leaving. Let’s let your brother make his own mistakes,” she stated, turning on her heel and marching out of the room.
Kimberly immediately stood and smiled sadly. “I’ll call you later, Carson. It was nice to finally meet you, Emma.”
I gasped and shook my head as she walked out the door, too. I didn’t want to break up his family; I didn’t want them to fall out over me. “Carson, go after her! Don’t leave things like this, it’s not right,” I pleaded.
He ground his teeth, glaring at the door with rage-filled eyes. “I’m not going after her. If she wants to come back and apologise to you then she can. If not then screw her, too.”
“That’s your mother! She loves you and just wants the best for you, that’s all,” I persuaded.
“If she loves me then she’ll support me and my choices.”
I closed my eyes as an empty feeling settled in my heart. I had never wanted to hurt Carson or take things away from him, and now it appeared he was close to losing his family because of me. I hated myself for it.
“I’m not worth you losing your family for,” I croaked as the emotion bubbled over and the tears finally fell.
He sighed deeply, pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me tightly. I buried my face against his shoulder and cried silently for the hopelessness in this whole situation. “You’re my family now, Emma. And I won’t lose you, not because people are too narrow-minded and quick to judge before they’ve even gotten to know you. If she’d taken the time to talk to you, she’d see you’re sweet and adorable, kind and caring. It’s her loss if she chooses not to know you.” While he spoke, his hand slid up my back, holding the back of my head, tangling his fingers into my hair.
“Sorry, I forgot my bag.”
I jerked back quickly, seeing his mother standing in the doorway, watching us awkwardly. Through my blurry, tear-filled eyes I saw she was crying, too. Wordlessly, she marched over to us and stooped to pick up her handbag from the floor where she’d left it. I silently begged Carson to say something, to make this right, to fix his family before it was too late – but apparently he wasn’t going to concede. His eyes were narrowed in anger, and every muscle in his body appeared to be taut with stress.
I cleared my throat, willing my voice to work. “Mrs Matthews, don’t leave it like this, please? Can’t you two just talk or something?”
She sighed and turned to me. “What difference does it make to you? Surely it’s better for you if he cuts off from his family. It’ll be easier for you to get your hands on his money then,” she replied.
I pushed away from Carson, stepping closer to her, deciding to tell her the truth. “I fell out with my parents a few years ago. I lost any relationship I had with them. They look at me exactly how you do, and although I pretend like it doesn’t, it actually hurts to think that I don’t have that support there. I don’t want Carson to go through that, especially not because of me. Please?” I begged.
Her eyes met mine, and I could see the indecision there as she pondered over what I’d said. When they left mine, they flicked to Carson and her chin trembled as cracks started to show in her hard exterior. “Maybe I was a little too quick to judge,” she whispered. Her attention turned back to me. “Maybe I should get to know you before I make assumptions about your morals and your intentions.”
I nodded in agreement, feeling the smile twitch at the corner of my mouth. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I would ever get her approval, but that didn’t matter, as long as Carson didn’t lose his family over this.
Carson stepped forward, setting his hand on my shoulder. “Look, just leave it for now, all right? We’ve all had a shock and have a lot to take in. Call me tomorrow or something,” he suggested uncomfortably. I could still hear the anger in his tone, but he was trying to disguise it.
Jillian sighed. “I didn’t mean to be harsh; I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking.” She shouldered her bag and stood tall, raising her chin, her hard exterior now back. “I’ll speak to you tomorrow then.”
I watched as she walked out for a second time. I didn’t like her. She reminded me of the nasty Carson I’d met today, and I silently wondered if that was a sure sign I’d been deceived by an act all those years ago and that this was the real Carson Matthews. Maybe he’d just put on a front to ‘charm me into bed’ like he so often joked. It had certainly worked, but from now on I was putting my guard up so I wouldn’t be hurt or fooled by him again.