Chase
Black and purple tendrils fly from the open window of my Jeep. Kat’s stretched out on the front seat, bare toes curled on the dash with her forearm resting on her knee. The nails are different today. Twenty matching shiny chrome squares gleam in the bold morning sunlight as they bop to the music blaring from my speakers.
Racing down the Garden State Parkway at eighty miles an hour, I shouldn’t know this many details. I shouldn’t notice the bronze tone of each slender leg or the way the curve of her ass just slightly peeks out from beneath the hem of her shorts. I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about the smooth skin on her neck and the tiny cluster of freckles just under her left ear, the pink shine on her lips, or the way her strapless shirt leaves her collarbone on display. And, of course, I really have to stop side-eyeing her luscious tits. Cars whiz past on either side. I’m going to end up killing us both, and when the coroner comes to collect our lifeless bodies, he’ll find mine with the massive erection I’m trying my damnedest to hide.
“Have I ever told you that I think you’re awesome?” A cigarette casually hangs between two fingers. When she brings it to her mouth, the bright orange tip glows in my peripheral vision. Yes, I notice that, too.
“Not yet.”
“Okay, just checking.” She pauses for a minute, taking another drag before blowing it out in a fit of giggles. “You’re totally awesome. Thank you for coming with me.”
As if I had any choice in the matter. Lightning struck every nerve in my body when she wrapped her slender arms around me. And that smile. God help me, I’d probably say yes to anything. After four days, she already has me wrapped around her little finger. I’m such a fuckin’ sucker.
“Sure thing, baby cakes.” I pull a Marlboro Light from the pack in the cup holder and hand it to her. Without even having to be asked, she lights it and hands it back to me. “So give me the rundown. Who’s all gonna be here?”
“Well . . .” She drops her legs and sits up, stretching. My cock screams for mercy when her back arches, and a small moan escapes her chest. “My giagiá—that’s my grandma—my cousin Athena, her husband, Alex, and their kids. My dad. Uh . . . I’m not sure if my cousin Mekky is going to make it, but his wife, Frulla, and their kids might be there.”
“What about your mom?”
“Take the next exit into Point. My parents are divorced. This is the Andropoulos family. My mom is probably somewhere with her new boyfriend. I never see her anymore. We’re like two ships passing in the night.”
“There used to be a diner called Andropoulos in Midtown.”
“Yep. Still there.” The childlike laughter again. It hits me in the chest and radiates through my arms and legs. Jesus, what is it about that sound I love so much?
“Tell me the short dude with the mustache is a relative of yours.”
“You already know Mekky?”
Oh, shit! We’ve met, all right. Under the worst circumstances possible. “So that must make Frulla the woman with the spandex and high heels?”
“Ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag. Yeah, that’s her.”
Heat rolls up my neck as Kodak snapshots of a previous life come flooding back. Fuck!!! Why did I have to be such a goddamned derelict?
“What’s wrong with you? You’re getting all sorts of red-faced.” Kat wiggles her petite finger at my profile as the angel on my shoulder tries to keep me from cutting the wheel into oncoming traffic. What’s wrong, she asks? I’ll tell you what’s wrong!
Those fuckers called the cops on me.
Thinking about it now, I should be grateful. Andropoulos was the last stop on a three-day bender that had us on the prowl for a way to come down. I have no idea how or why we ended up there, but we did. Coked out of our minds, deprived of sleep, and suffering from drug-induced hallucinations.
Desiree dragged me to the bathroom and locked the door behind her while I stalked the tiny room feeling too fucking big for my own good. It was as if the world shrank to an infinitesimal size. The walls and ceiling began closing around me as I stomped and twitched, muttering an incoherent chant.
I’ll never forget the demented look on Desi’s face, her blackened eyes wired and wild. “Baby, you’re spiraling hardcore. You need sleep.”
Every drug has its ritual, and dope is no different. Tiny granules of tan powder filled the belly of the stolen spoon. She added a few drops of water then heated it from below. The bittersweet, burnt vinegar smell I’d grown accustomed to, merely from being with her, sizzled from the works as she sucked it into the rig from the tiny wad of cotton pressed inside. “Relax, baby. I’ll take care of you.”
Within seconds, an intense rush of pleasure and euphoria ripped throughout my entire body, a warm blanket with no pain, no worries, and no inhibitions. I don’t know how long we were lying there before the owner broke the door down. Minutes? Hours? Days? That’s the thing about heroin. Time never moves.
“Chase? You’re freakin’ me out.”
Kat’s voice breaks my mind from the memory’s grasp. Sunglasses perch atop her head, and a mane of raven silk falls around her concerned face. “I just got lost for a second. Sorry.”
“Ain’t no thing. Happens to me all the time!”
She snaps the shades back down on her face and jumps from the Jeep. The entire driveway is nothing more than a trillion white landscape rocks leading up to a two-story, cedar shingle house. Crank windows sit open at half-mast along the entire front, and at the top, a small, white balcony overlooks the ocean ahead. The salty sea air tingles my nostrils as I follow her around to the back.
“Geia se ólous. We made it!” she announces, threading our fingers. “Don’t let me go,” she whispers. Her palm is warm, nestled snug against mine.
A sea of brown eyes turns toward us, each identical to the next. The same deep, almond eyes as Kat. A chorus of hellos and random Greek words I don’t understand greet us at the edge of the expansive back deck. My shoulders drop from my ears. No sign of Mekky. Yet.
The iron grip on my hand tightens as she pulls me across the polyresin planks. A solitary man stands in the corner, facing away from us. He turns as we approach, a glass of brown liquid lodged in his fist and a cocky smile splits his bearded face. The whites of his eyes hold a muddy yellow hue. It’s creepy. “I mikrí koúkla has returned to see her papa. Finally.”
A sigh trickles from her lips. “Hi, Daddy. This is my friend Chase.”
“Good to meet you, Mr. Andropoulos.” I extend my hand, but he merely looks at it as if the sight of it is beneath him.
The ice clinks in the glass as he lifts it to his lips. He takes a long swig then sucks the extra drops off his mustache. “What do you do for a living?” he barks. Slurred speech and a thick accent make him hard to follow.
“I’m a mechanic, sir.”
“Of course, you are. My little girl always picks the winners.” Kat’s mouth presses together in a thin pink line. Her father sips his drink, staring down at her with a taunting glare. “What is this? Another poústis? Real men don’t wear earrings.”
“Daddy . . .”
“Katarina!” Kat instantly brightens and turns toward the squawk of her name. I follow her gaze and spy a carbon copy of an elderly Kat walking our way. “Moró mou, Katarina?”
She throws her arms around the woman, exchanging words and kisses before returning her attention to me. “Giagiá, aftí eínai i Chase. Chase, Grandma.”
Kat’s grandmother waves her tiny hand to beckon me closer. “Eíste polý psilós,” she says, and Kat giggles.
“She said you’re too tall.”
Everyone is tall compared to her. She makes Kat look huge. To put things in perspective, Kat comes up to my chest. Her grandmother comes up to her chest.
Her soulful gaze glitters. She raises both hands and rests them on my cheeks as I bend down closer. “Étsi, ómorfos, allá étsi epivarýnontai. Giatí ópos lypiména mátia?”
“She says you’re handsome, but you have sad eyes.”
“Kai eíste polý adýnatos.” With a surprisingly tight grip, she squeezes my arm.
Kat bursts into a fit of laughter. “And you’re too skinny.”
She smiles at her grandmother and touches her cheek before finding my hand a second time. “Great. Your family thinks I’m a sad, skinny loser,” I whisper as she leads me through the open doorway.
“Don’t worry about my dad. He gets like that when he’s had a few. My giagiá likes you. I can tell.”
The savory scents of garlic, basil, and oil hover around the classic beach décor inside the spacious home. We stroll past wicker furniture and earthy tan and blue walls to a small kitchen at the front. “Athena!” Kat singsongs, walking toward a woman with similar black hair and dark eyes. I feel like I’ve just landed in Oz and each little munchkin is as identical as the one before it.
“Yasuo, Kitty!” They bump cheeks with a kiss noise. “You’re just in time to help with lunch.”
“I just got here! Can’t a gal catch a buzz first?” Kat zips around the kitchen, yanking drawers and searching through cabinets until she finds the things she requires.
“Ooh, baking with Drunken Hines again? Don't hurt yourself.”
“Ha-ha, very funny,” Kat replies flatly. “You remember Chase, right?” She cocks her head in my direction, fighting with the corkscrew in a bottle of wine.
“We weren’t formerly introduced. Hi! Welcome!” When Athena leans in with a similar greeting, I flinch. My own mother barely kissed me. I was raised by my grandma and a series of nannies. My parents were too busy being socialites to give a shit about my whereabouts, let alone show me any kind of affection. All this touchy-feely stuff is strange.
“Thanks for having me.” I reach over Kat’s shoulder and steal the bottle from her hands to help. The fruity fragrance of her shampoo ignites my senses. It’s slowly becoming my favorite scent. I could drown in the smell and die a happy man.
Kat takes the uncorked bottle and fills her goblet. A fractal of sunlight reflects off the golden yellow liquid, creating a starburst inside. With one fluid motion, she runs her fingers through her hair and brings the glass to her mouth with her free hand. A black and purple curtain falls off her shoulder when she tips her head back. The tiniest of moans whispers in her chest. I watch the way her throat moves, and the way her tongue slides across her lips.
When I look up, I see Athena watching me.
A small smirk grows on her face. She turns back toward the stove and slides over a mixing bowl full of ground beef and spices. “Here, Chase. Make yourself useful. Kat, can you go wrangle the kids and tell everyone lunch will be ready in ten?”
“Sure thing, boss lady. You’ll be okay in here.” Kat’s fingertips glide over my forearm as she saunters away, leaving a team of tingles traveling up my bicep. I’m momentarily rendered stupid. If my body reacts this way from a single touch, a single sniff, I can only imagine what would happen if I gave in to this intense desire and made her mine. It would be an epic fuck show of the senses.
For the moment, the only sound is sizzling oil and the rush of the faucet as I wash my hands, but I know it’s coming. The speech. It’s rolling through Athena’s mind so loudly I can hear it echoing in her ears.
“When Kat was born, I used to pretend she was mine. I’d tuck her blanket so tight around her that she wouldn’t be able to move. Trapped in a cotton cocoon inside her bassinet, she was so little, so precious. It was my job to watch out for her.” Her gaze darts to the doorway and back again. “But that blanket eventually fell, and my precious little Kitty grew cold. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I couldn’t protect her—not the way she needed me to—but I’ll never let that happen again.” Athena’s voice hitches in her throat.
“Kat’s a pretty tough chick. I’m sure she’s capable of taking care of herself.”
“She’s not as strong as she seems. It’s an act. What he did to her . . .” Athena tears her dampened gaze from mine. The miniature meatballs I’ve rolled hiss and pop as she drops them in the pan one by one. “I’ll never let anyone hurt her like that again.”
“I don’t wanna hurt her. I wanna help her.”
“That’s good” —she sniffles— “because I have no qualms about dipping your balls in hot oil if I have to.”
“Chase! Come take a walk, grab a smoke!”
Kat’s voice from beyond the doorway breaks the tension in the air. I turn to leave then stop short. “What happened to her?”
“That’s not my story to tell. When she’s ready, she’ll tell you.”
Well, that’s not ambiguous or anything.
Gravel crunches under our feet. With a cigarette dangling from her pouty lips, Kat pushes the hair off her face and twists it into a messy knot on the top of her head. Purple spikes fan out from the band, and raven wisps curve around her delicate ears and cheekbones. The way the sun shines down on her flawless olive skin . . .
“Earth to Chase.”
Shit. Pull yourself together, man. “I’m sorry. What?”
She laughs. “Are you high? I asked what you and Athena were whispering about.”
“Oh. She was just giving me the big sister speech.” I pause, cupping my hand around the flame of my lighter. “She cares about you.”
“She’s the only one.” Kat sighs.
“That’s not true.” Like a magnet, our hands clasp together. Her petite palm slips into mine so perfectly it’s like it was made to fit inside.
The hum of crashing waves grows louder as we near the shoreline. This area of the beach is quiet. Down a ways, where the boardwalk meets the sand and umbrellas greet the brilliant blue sky, people lie on brightly colored beach towels but not a soul exists this far from the action. No one except Kat, me, and an undeniable attraction that gets harder to resist the minute she starts shucking her clothing. “What are you doing?”
She slips her thumbs into the waistband of her linen shorts and slides them down her legs. “I want to get wet.” Her choice of phrase makes my cock twitch. As does the nothing triangle of shimmery blue fabric just barely covering her.
When she pulls her top off next, her body stretches with the fluid movement. Another set of little blue triangles sends another surge of blood rushing to my lower half. “Your family is about to have lunch.” The strain in my voice is evident. My self-control is hanging by a thread.
Kat turns and heads for the Atlantic, pulling my eyes along with her.
Holy shit . . .
Rising from her low-slung bikini bottoms, a thick tree trunk twists and turns up her spine, leading the way to spindly branches fanning out over the span of her back. It’s beautiful, haunting. A dying oak with no leaves and no roots. Just gnarled branches and splintered bark. So lifelike my fingertips tingle, wanting to reach out and touch it. To trace the soft curves of her body in the process.
The cold tide washes over my feet. Violent sprays crash against Kat’s slender frame. She gets knocked down but pops back up, bracing herself for another impact. She’s fearless.
“What are you looking at?” she asks, wobbly walking toward the sand. She reaches up and tugs the hair tie then bends forward. Wavy tendrils of sopping curls shake around her head. They fly through the air in slow motion as she snaps back up, turning her face toward the sun.
“A live-action Baywatch, apparently.”
Crinkles form around the droplets clinging to her nose. “You’re a nut.” She giggles. “Don’t you like the ocean?”
“I prefer the view.”
“Well, get a good look.” She shakes the sand from her shorts before tugging them over her hips. “You wanna go back?”
No, devil woman. I want to pull off those shorts and that ridiculous piece of Lycra you call a swimsuit, lick the salt from your skin, and see how wet you can really get.
What is she doing to me?
We stroll back to the house hand in hand, surrounded by a cloud of smoke. “What’s the story behind that killer back piece?”
“What makes you think there’s a story?”
I shrug. “Isn’t there?”
“Trees are resilient and strong. They survive harsh winds and weather the storms. They bend, contort, and twist, but rarely break. They only become more beautiful. It’s nature, ya know?”
“I like that. And this one?” I pause, turning up her wrist with our joined hands to see οικογένεια in white ink.
“Oikogéneia. It means family in Greek. Athena has one, too.”
“It’s cool that you’re so close with your family.”
“Just Athena, for the most part. I love them and all, it’s just . . . I don’t know. I feel like I’ve disappointed everyone. She’s the only one who seems to look past my indiscretions and see me for who I am instead of what I’ve done. She believes in me.” Dark eyes lock on mine. “I’m sure that sounds stupid to someone like you.”
“Someone like me?”
“Yeah. Someone whose life is so well balanced.”
A bubble of laughter pops in my chest. “Trust me; my life is anything but balanced.”
“You seem like you have it all together.”
“I put on a good show. Inside me is a big old mess, trust me.”
She’s opening up to you; tell her you know exactly how she feels. Tell her you know what it’s like to be taken at face value, to do things you regret. Let her know she’s not alone.
So many thoughts and feelings float to the surface I feel lightheaded. I want to scream, throw something, stomp my feet, and beg for a chance to meet this girl in another world. One where she’s not a mess, and I’m not a junkie, and maybe we could have a chance at making it work. I want to go back in time and undo all the wrongs I’ve committed in my life, so then maybe I’d be strong enough to be the support Kat needs in hers. But more than anything, I just want to kiss her until her lips are sore. Until she’s unable to think clearly, her heart is racing, and her palms are sweaty. Until she feels like she can’t exist without my breath filling her lungs.
But the question remains to be seen: do I want it with her? Or is this all just Desiree coming back to haunt me with her dark eyes and needy lips? She holds my heart in a little box, a hostage with no negotiable release terms. I’ll never get the answers I seek. Kat isn’t going to change, and Desiree is never coming back. I’m stuck in limbo. A bitter cage of emotional larceny where my heart wants one woman and my body craves another.
Every person who enters your life is there for a reason. They’re either a blessing or a lesson.
I just need to figure out who is which.