Ten years.
It was almost surreal. Nick and I had been married for ten years, and yet every single day felt like the beginning of our story.
Today Nick and I were renewing our vows at Bacio del Sole. It was just a small party, like our wedding had been, consisting of only our families and close friends.
“Mama.” Looking down, I saw my daughter, Caterina, staring up at me with wide, terrified eyes. I was currently in Nick’s office getting ready, where I had changed into a simple, white summer dress that stopped right above the knees.
“What’s wrong, honey?”
“I’m scared,” she whispered.
“Why don’t you practice?” I suggested. She nodded, eyes on the ground, and grabbed her basket of flowers.
“Wooohoooo…” Now my eyes were drawn to my other daughter, Liliana, who was sitting upside down on the couch, her dress bunched up around her waist and the tips of her hair touching the ground.
They were complete opposites, which was ironic since they were identical twins. Nick and I had the girls a few years after Florence, and we named our almost four-year-olds after Nick’s mother and my sister.
Today they were our two flower girls, while Florence was my maid of honor.
I’d just put my second earring on when Caterina tripped and fell to her knees, smashing her basket.
Rushing over, I placed a hand on her back and asked, “Are you okay, sweetie?” She didn’t respond. “You don’t have to walk out there if you don’t want to.” My youngest daughter—by nine minutes—was terrified of people, and I didn’t want her to do this if it made her uncomfortable.
Caterina’s head snapped up. Her father’s warm brown eyes stared back at me. “I-I still w-wanna be in the f-family, Mama.”
Liliana was quick to help. She flung herself off the couch and skipped over to her sister. I stepped back and watched Liliana wrap her arm around a sniffling Caterina.
“Cat, you can walk with me and share my basket.”
Caterina rubbed her eyes and gave a small smile. “Thanks, Lil.” Then she turned toward me. “Can I find Nana?”
“Sure. I’ll take you both out there.” The three of us walked down the hallway, and when we reached the end, Liliana immediately ran off, while Caterina easily found her target and shuffled over. I looked out at the rest of my family and friends.
There were four tables, two on each side, to make the shortest aisle in history. Aster was sitting at one of the farthest-away tables. His arm was wrapped around his wife of eight years, Briana, the girl he met after Becky left him. Their six-year-old son, Ricky, named after our dad, sat on the other side of him. When they found out Briana was pregnant, Aster moved his family back here to be closer to us.
Calla and Kent were at the table next to them, sitting with their eight-year-old son, Jackson, whom they adopted four years ago, and our parents.
Catherine and Trevor were sitting at the table across from them, the one closest to us, and Caterina sat in her lap. Even before she learned of her namesake, Caterina always had a special bond with Nick’s mom. It was never a surprise when my daughter sought comfort from her.
At the last table sat Lindsay and Kevin with their four sons and Florence. That table was the most chaotic. My eldest daughter was slowly becoming a tomboy, constantly trying to outdo whatever the boys were doing.
I’d always wanted a boy, but I’d heard enough horror stories from Lindsay to know I’d never want four of them.
Smiling, I placed my hand on my stomach.
“You ready to be my best woman?”
Turning toward the bar, I saw Nick talking to our niece a few feet away. Mirielle was nodding vigorously. When she found out Nick got to pick someone to stand up with him, she was adamant it should be her. At twelve years old, she was most definitely a ballbuster. She refused to accept societal norms, and while her parents loved her unique, take-no-bull personality, they were probably at high risk for ulcers.
When we were debating how far we wanted to go in renewing our vows, we decided to include the children as much as we could considering only Mirielle was here last time, and she was too young to remember.
With a grin, I turned around and walked back toward Nick’s office. I picked up my flowers and lovingly rubbed my slightly swollen belly. Nick and I had found out I was pregnant a couple months ago—today I was nearly five months along. We decided to do the gender reveal today—only I knew so far, and it had determined the color of my bouquet. Nick and I combined the two events because we knew how hard it was for everyone to gather like this.
I gazed down at the flowers, all white except for three perfectly placed ones that revealed the baby’s gender. Nick would see them first since we were walking down the aisle together this time. When he told me that was what he wanted, I asked him why. I still got butterflies thinking about his answer.
He’d grabbed my hands and said, “Ten years ago you walked down that aisle toward me, alone, and I promised myself that would be the last time you did anything without me.”
I’d sassed him back of course, saying, “Well, technically, I wasn’t alone. I had my dad—”
Nick had grinned, expecting the response, I guessed, and placed a finger over my lips. “Hush. I’m trying to be romantic and sentimental and you’re ruining it.”
I stifled a chuckle now. Who would have thought the surly man I met nearly twelve years ago would turn into a giant softy who let his daughters paint his toenails and treated his wife like a queen?
“Hey.” I whipped around at the sound of his voice, keeping the flowers hidden behind my back. He was grinning as he shut the door.
“Wow,” he breathed. “You’re gorgeous.”
I smiled, loving how he phrased it that way. It was never “you look,” always “you are.” It didn’t matter what I was wearing or if my hair was in an elegant updo (like today) or a messy bun with Fruit Loops buried in it (like yesterday morning).
Nick walked forward, stopping a foot away from me, and anxiously looked down at the empty space where my hands should be.
“Are you gonna keep me waiting?” He was practically bouncing on his feet. I slowly unwound my hands from behind my back until they were resting in front of me, gripping the flowers tightly when he teared up.
“Stop that,” I chided. “You know I can’t watch you cry without crying myself. And my makeup is perfect.”
He ignored my words as he dropped to his knees in front me and rested each palm against the sides of my distended stomach.
“We’re having a boy?” he asked reverently.
Placing one of my hands over his, I nodded. His eyes lifted to mine as he smiled, so wide and bright he could challenge the sun. Nick stood up and gently cradled my head before wrapping me in a hug. My hands landed on his back, taking care not to jostle the bouquet too much.
We never explicitly said so, but I think we might have kept going because we wanted a boy. Nick loved his girls with all his heart, but I honestly wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle another one. He was already fretting over them wearing makeup and dating. He wanted a son. He never said so, for fear of hurting the girls, but I knew.
“Do you have any idea how happy you make me?”
I chuckled and pulled away. “I’m pretty sure you were a part of it too. Or do you not remember?” I quirked an eyebrow.
“Oh, I remember,” Nick said on a laugh. It quickly faded as he became serious. “I remember everything.”
My breath caught. He was looking at me like he did ten years ago. Like I was the best thing to ever happen to him.
“I remember how you saved me, how you welcomed me into your life when I gave you no reason to. I still don’t know why you chose me, but I thank God every day that you did.”
I placed my hand over his heart and drummed my fingers. “I picked you because of this. Because of your pure heart. You’ve always had one, Nick.” I could tell he struggled to believe it, so I added, “It was dark in there for a little bit. But it was always pure.”
“The darkness didn’t scare you off?”
“No. Darkness is only the absence of light. It can never win against it.”
Nick grinned, dimples and all. “So you’re saying I never stood a chance?”
“Nope.” We both chuckled.
“Good.” He held out his arm. “Are you ready, Mrs. Blake?”
I placed my hand in the crook of his elbow and let him lead me out the door.
Toward our future.
Shining brighter than ever.