Chapter Five
Rae left another message.
I didn’t listen to it.
It’d been a month since I left Seattle, and I still didn’t have the balls to talk to her. She was going to assume I left because of her—which wasn’t untrue. The guilt was probably eating her alive, and she just wanted to know I was okay.
But I was still a dick.
I wasn’t going to avoid her forever. Things didn’t work out between us, but that didn’t mean I hated her. I didn’t want to erase the possibility of a friendship—someday. But right now, the sting from her rejection was still too painful.
The last person I expected to text me sent me a message. Call her back. She’s worried about you. It was my old friend, the man who won Rae. He would get to spend the rest of his life with her because he wasn’t stupid like I was. I’d had Rae in my grasp, had her forever, and I threw her away.
I opened a beer and drank half of it before I finally had the courage to call her back. I stared at her name on the screen for a long time before my thumb finally hit the call button. I held the phone to my ear, and she picked up before it even rang.
“Ryker?” Just from saying my name, I could hear all her concern, all her desperation—everything. She inhaled a breath of relief even though she didn’t hear me say a word. She was just grateful I called her back.
Wow. I’m such an ass. “Hey.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, feeling all the pain from that night when she left me forever. I told her to go back to Zeke. After what he did, I didn’t necessarily think he deserved her more than I did. But I could tell she was so madly in love with him that I would never compete. I would always be second best to a man she truly wanted. “I’m sorry I haven’t called.” I didn’t make up an excuse about being too busy. We both knew what the real problem was.
“It’s okay. I’m just glad I’m talking to you now.” She breathed quietly over the phone like she was pacing, probably somewhere in Zeke’s house with Safari watching her from his bed. “When I went to work and they said you stepped down…I was surprised.”
That probably wasn’t the best way for her to find out. “My brother wanted in, so I bowed out.” Just like how I bowed out of our relationship. “There wasn’t anything left for me in Seattle, so I moved back to Manhattan. I never gave up my apartment, so it’s still here.”
“Yeah, I figured that’s where you went.”
I drank my beer then pressed the cool glass to my temple. Silence filled the space between us, awkward and heavy. I knew this woman so well, but I didn’t feel close to her at all. I felt like I lost a piece of myself when she left. “How are things with the gang?” I didn’t ask about Zeke specifically. Honestly, I didn’t really want to know.
“Good. Jessie is pregnant.”
“Good for her. Is Tobias the lucky man?”
“Yep.”
“Tell her congratulations for me.”
“I will.”
“And how’s Rex…?” Probably happy I was gone and Zeke was back with his sister.
“He’s the same—a dumbass.”
An uncontrollable chuckle escaped my lips. “Some things never change, huh?”
“Nope. What about you? What’s it like there?”
It didn’t feel quite like home—at least not yet. “The same as I left it. I’ve been spending a lot of time with friends, going out and hitting the town.”
“Uh-oh,” she said. “I hope the NYPD can handle it.”
I chuckled. “I’ve been behaving myself.”
“Working anywhere?”
“No. I think I’m gonna retire for good.”
“Sounds nice,” she whispered. “Sometimes I think I could do it, but then I realize how bored I would be. I always have to be doing something. I’ve always been that way.”
“You don’t strike me as the stay-at-home type of person.”
“No. Safari would drive me crazy if I were.”
I laughed again. “But he would be happy.”
Her breathing changed, making it seem like she was sitting rather than pacing. “So…any women in your life?”
The question was awkward, but it was bound to come up. It shouldn’t be a taboo topic. She was with Zeke now, and I needed to move on with my life. We were friends—for the most part. “Not really. I met this one woman who’s pretty cool. But I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere.”
“Why not?”
“She’s my friend’s younger sister.”
She laughed like I made a joke. “When has that ever stopped you before?”
An unwilling smile stretched my lips. “I don’t want to go down that path again. A lot of drama.”
“But I’m sure your friend isn’t a weirdo like Rex. He and I are different from other families. We’re freaks, and you know it.”
Their relationship had annoyed me from time to time, but honestly, their closeness made me jealous once in a while. I was never close with my father or my brother. I talked to my mom, but there wasn’t much of a connection there either. There was no bond. “Good freaks.”
“I wouldn’t let that stop you. If you like her, go for it.”
“I waited too long to make a move. She told me I rejected her too many times and now she’s looking for other fish in the sea.”
“Damn,” Rae said. “Sounds like a hardass.”
“She is…but I think that’s why I like her.”
“You’ll wear her down eventually. You’ve got the body for it.”
I smiled at the compliment. “I hope it’s enough for her.”
She chuckled. “If she’s straight, it’ll definitely be enough. Trust me.”
My chest relaxed now that the tension had disappeared. We were talking as friends—like we used to.
“Ryker?”
“Hmm?”
“I don’t expect us to be best friends. But…maybe we can keep in touch?”
I gripped the empty beer in my hand and pictured her face while she spoke. I could practically see her standing right in front of me, those beautiful lips moving as her comforting words came out. “Yeah, I’d like that.” I knew she still loved me. A part of her always would. But I feared I would always be in this place—being in love with the woman I couldn’t have.
“Cool. Well, I’ll talk to you later…”
“Alright. Tell the gang I said hi.”
“I will. And you better not dodge my calls again, alright?”
My smile dropped when the guilt throbbed in my chest. “You got it.”
***
“Take that, asshole.” Liam hit the buttons on the controller and rammed his car into mine. My vehicle spun out and slammed into the pole on the side of the road. “While you get your tires fixed, I’m headed to the finish line.”
I got my car back on the road and accelerated. I moved through the spaces between the other cars and caught up quicker than he expected. In the nick of time, I passed him and crossed the finish line, taking first place. “Now look who’s the asshole?” I smacked the back of his head.
“Ouch.” He ran his fingers through his hair and massaged the area where I just struck him. “Don’t damage the goods, alright? This is gonna be worth a lot of money someday.”
“Because scientists are going to want to study it to find the true definition of stupidity?”
He smacked me upside the head. “They already got their answer from you.”
I turned off the game and flipped on the TV. “You’re lucky I’m not going to kill you. I feel particularly generous today.”
“Well, you’re lucky I’m more of a pacifist.”
“You mean, pussy.”
“Hell no.” Before he could get more into it, his phone rang. “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”
I heard her voice come through the line. “Hello, dear. We’re having a BBQ and wanted to see if you wanted to stop by. Your sister and her friend Madeline are here.”
“Madeline?” he asked excitedly. “Hell yeah, I’ll be there.”
I smacked his arm and pointed at my chest.
“What?” he mouthed, having no idea what I was asking.
“Ask if I can come,” I whispered. I didn’t want to drop in on a family get-together, but if Austen was there, I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity.
“Oh.” He turned back to the phone. “Can my friend Ryker come along too? We’re hanging out right now.”
“Of course,” she said with excitement. “We have lots of food, so please come hungry.”
“We will. See you soon, Mom.”
“Bye, sweetheart.”
He hung up and shoved his phone into his pocket. “I’m surprised you wanted to come.”
“Well, think about it. I could distract Austen so you can be alone with Madeline.” It was the perfect cover-up to my real intentions with Austen.
He bought it. He snapped his fingers then pointed at me. “That’s a damn good plan.”
“I’m very wise. I know.”
“Let’s head out and grab a six-pack on the way.”
“Good idea.”