I planted my hands on my hips and surveyed the cafeteria. Everything seemed to be as it should be—groups of friends were sitting around, chatting away, laughing and kicking their legs and waving their arms like they were happy to be there. Well, except one kid. The kid who I’d been focused on the last few weeks.

I watched Hunter for a while as he sat at the end of one of the tables, picking at his lunch and staring intently at a spot somewhere off in space across the room. The other kids at the table didn’t seem to be saying anything to him, not picking on him specifically. They were acting as though he wasn’t even there. He glanced in their direction a couple of times, his eyes hopeful, and then returned to his food, as though he believed it wasn’t worth the trouble to try and engage with them. I grimaced, and I knew I had to go over there and talk to him. I couldn’t bear the sight of him sitting there all by himself. It didn’t seem fair or right.

There was another lunch monitor on that day, and I raised my eyebrows at him and tipped my chin toward Hunter to let him know what I planned to do. He smiled back, letting me know I was good to go, and I headed over to the boy and perched myself down next to him. Jesus, I always forgot how low these seats were. I had to plant a firm foot on the floor to make sure I didn’t go careening over on the spot.

“You mind if I join you?” I asked him gently, and Hunter glanced up at me and shrugged.

“No.” he shook his head. His food was nearly uneaten, and I felt another buzz of concern. A growing boy like him needed every bit of nutrition he could get in his body, and this wasn’t exactly encouraging that.

“How are you doing today?” I asked him, cocking my head in his direction, and he shrugged again.

“Fine,” he replied. “How are you?”

“I’m really good, thanks,” I told him. He had impeccable manners. I had to concede that—just like his father. I flushed as I thought of Holden and pushed him quickly to the back of my mind. This wasn’t about him. It was about Hunter.

“So you like eating by yourself?” I asked. Hunter gave me a look. He wasn’t a stupid kid, and he probably knew his lack of enthusiasm for the other kids in his class wasn’t going unnoticed by the staff. Plus, he had to be somewhat aware of what was going on with his dad, and he knew whatever was going on between us wasn’t exactly standard procedure.

“I guess,” he replied, picking up his packet of chips like he had noticed me noticing his lack of consumption.

“Can I ask you something?” I leaned in a little closer as if I were going to share a secret with him and waited for his nod. “Why don’t you like to sit with the other kids?”

I furrowed my brow like it was a genuine mystery to me that I needed his help figuring out. He glanced beyond me to the small cluster at the other end of the table, all of whom randomly exploded into laughter at that very moment. He returned his gaze to me and shook his head.

“I’m not cool enough for them,” he told me, and my heart sank. It was one thing for children to be left out of some social groups by their peers. Dynamics at this age were hard, and we could at least intervene to make sure they were included where we could encourage it. But it was nearly impossible when that division came from this self-imposed exclusion, when the child in question clearly didn’t believe they would ever be able to do anything to make themselves part of the group.

“That’s not true,” I protested. “You’re very cool, Hunter. Besides, that’s not the only thing you can do to be friends with someone. There are lots of qualities beyond just coolness.”

“That’s what they care about, though,” he replied, a little glumly. It would have been totally inappropriate, but I wanted nothing more than to give this kid a big hug and tell him everything was going to be all right. But I was already picking him out of the crowd enough. Anything more, and the other kids would begin to notice, and that was only going to make the situation worse.

“I don’t think that’s true either.” I shook my head, but I could see that this conversation wasn’t exactly helping matters so I decided to shift toward something a little nicer instead.

“Hey, I’m going to be visiting you and your dad this weekend, right?” I reminded him. Hunter’s face instantly brightened, and I felt a wave of relief that I’d managed to move toward something a little more positive.

“Yeah, that’s right!” he replied, smiling.

“Are you looking forward to it?” I asked. I knew this was an odd situation, but it wasn’t the first time I had followed up with a student’s parents outside of school, and it wouldn’t be the last either. I knew I was making excuses to myself as to why I felt that zing in my chest every time I thought about Holden and spending more time with him, but that initial attraction would fade eventually. Once we spent more time together, I would be able to see him as the truly platonic friend that he was.

“Yeah.” Hunter nodded excitedly. “My dad says we’re going to—”

He stopped himself short and narrowed his eyes at me, and I almost burst out laughing. Sometimes, just once in a while, the kids I worked with would do something so strikingly adult that it took me a second to remember they were children, not little adults trapped inside tiny bodies. This was one of those times, as Hunter silently tried to parse something without giving too much away.

“Has he told you what we’re going to be doing yet?” Hunter asked, and I shook my head.

“No, he hasn’t,” I admitted. “Do you know? Can you tell me?”

“It’s meant to be a surprise,” Hunter replied mysteriously, and I pulled a face and then grinned.

“Well, I guess I’ll have to wait and see then,” I conceded. “Is it fun? Can you at least tell me that?”

“It’s really fun,” he beamed excitedly.

“That’s all I wanted to hear.” I patted him on the shoulder and got back to my feet. I’d noticed a couple of the other kids looking in our direction, and I didn’t want any of them overhearing our conversation and assuming Hunter was getting special treatment that they weren’t. I went back to my spot at the head of the dining hall, keeping an eye on proceedings, but I couldn’t keep the smile from my face as I imagined what might be in store for me over this weekend.

I headed back to my classroom, where I had a free hour before my next group came in. I turned my attention back to the grade curves, the numbers already dancing in front of my eyes before I’d even gotten started. When Zoe appeared at the door, I closed my books at once, glad to have a chance to put them off a little longer.

“Hey.” Zoe slipped into my room and leaned on one of the little chairs opposite my desk. “How’s it going?”

“Pretty good,” I replied. “Got some time to myself and trying to catch up with those grade curves.”

“So what you’re saying is, you’re looking for someone to come in here and distract you?” She grinned.

“Please.” I smiled back. “How’re things with you?”

“Yeah, not bad,” she replied. “I saw you talking with Hunter at lunch. Is everything all right with him?”

“I think so. I’m a little worried about him. You know how it is. He doesn’t seem to have many friends around, and I think it’s starting to get to him.”

“Ah, yeah, I noticed that too.” She grimaced. “Do you think he’ll grow out of it, or do you think it’s a more long-term thing?”

“It’s hard to say right now.” I shook my head. “It seems to be coming more from him than the other kids, so that’s at least something.”

“Yeah, fair point,” she agreed. “You up to anything interesting this weekend?”

“Actually, I’m seeing Holden” I told her, without thinking. I had declined to mention my thing with Holden and Hunter to her earlier, but it slipped out before I could stop myself. She raised her eyebrows at me.

“Oh yeah?” she prompted. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, Holden suggested we spend some more time together,” I replied with a shrug. “To see the two of them together before I go setting him up with anyone.”

“So what you’re saying is, he’s taking you out on a date,” she remarked, eyebrows raised. “What exactly are you guys up to?”

“I actually don’t know yet,” I admitted. “He says he wants it to be a surprise.”

“A surprise date,” she continued. I shook my head at her.

“It’s nothing like that,” I told her off, using my best teacher voice in the hopes that she would get the message. “Do you really think he’d be asking me to set him up with other people if he wanted to date me? Pretty counterintuitive, no?”

“Fair point.” She held her hands up. “Or maybe this is a way for him to get to know you better without the pressure of actually dating.”

“Look, his son is going to be there with us,” I reminded her. “What kind of date would that be?”

“One where he has plausible deniability and can claim it’s platonic?” she suggested with a teasing smile. I gave her a look, and she held her hands up.

“Look, I’m just saying, this guy seems to want to spend a lot of time with you and involve you in a lot of his life,” she explained.

“Yeah, you do that too,” I protested. “It’s what being friends is about.”

“Yeah, but I don’t sweep you out on super-secret special dates,” she pointed out. I had to concede that point. I leaned back in my seat and shook my head.

“It’s nothing like that,” I replied firmly. “He just wants to get to know me better, and I want to as well, to make sure I’m picking the right woman for him.”

“And you couldn’t be that woman?” She squeezed in one more jibe and then shook her head. “Sorry, sorry, I’m done.”

“It’s just a get-together,” I assured her and realized I was talking as much to myself as well. It was hard for me to convince myself that this really was platonic, but I had to get that through my mind. It was what he wanted, and it was what would be best for me as well. Both of us were so inexperienced with dating, out-of-touch with how it worked. We would surely wind up fucking it up if we tried to hook up with each other.

“Of course.” She nodded. “I hope you have a great time.”

“Me too,” I agreed, and I felt that fuzzy little rush of excitement once more at the thought of spending a whole day with Holden. I ignored it and asked about her weekend plans to distract myself, hoping those feelings would have faded by the time my date with Holden came around.