“So what the hell are you going to do?”

The question hung in the air between Raymond and me for a long time, and I let out a sigh and tossed my hands in the air. I had no fucking clue what I was going to do, and he knew it.

“I don’t think I can turn her away.” I shook my head and picked up where I’d left off pacing up and down his living room. “Because if Hunter gets older, and she comes back, and he wants to see her, and he finds out about this, it’s going to come across like I was trying to keep his own mother from him. The last thing I want is him believing something like that, you know?”

“Well, that is what you’re doing,” he pointed out bluntly. I grimaced. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to hear it.

“I know, I know.” I shook my head. “But I have my doubts about why she’s coming back. After all this time? What could her motivation be for that?”

“Maybe she feels like she’s grown up enough to accept having a child now and wants to be part of his life?” Raymond suggested hopefully, but I could tell from the look on his face that he sure as fuck didn’t believe what he was saying. He had been there through all of it, through all the shit that had gone down with Karla when she’d first left me, and he knew how badly it had hurt me and how hard it would be to forgive her for everything she’d done—and everything she hadn’t.

“I think it’s got to do with money,” I replied. “She turned up in a car that looked pretty beaten-up, and she couldn’t stop pointing out how nice the house was when she was inside it. She already knew about the company when she arrived, so she’s clearly been doing some research on me—”

“Or maybe she was curious and wanted to see how the two of you were doing,” Raymond pointed out. I knew he could be right, that perhaps I was being too harsh on Karla, but I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something wrong about the way she was approaching me. About the timing

“I’m mostly worried about what this is going to do for me and Autumn,” I confessed. “I know that shouldn’t be at the front of my mind, but the last thing I need is to fuck things up with her when it’s all going so well.”

“How do you think it would fuck things up with her?” Raymond asked, furrowing his brow. I shook my head.

“I can’t help wondering if Karla’s going to try to push Autumn out of our lives,” I replied. “You know how she was—possessive. She’s not going to be happy when she finds out there’s someone else in all of this, you know?”

“Does Autumn know she’s back?”

I nodded.

“I told her about it the day it happened,” I replied. “I think I was a little harsh with her. I was still so shocked.”

“And what did she think?” Raymond asked.

“Same as you, that I should give her a chance,” I sighed. “But I don’t know if she understands the impact that could have on us. Not really.”

“You should credit her with a little more foresight.” Raymond raised his eyebrows at me. “She’s not stupid. And I’m sure she was prepared for something like this, even if you weren’t. She knows she’s not Hunter’s mother, and—”

“And she’d be a better mother to him than Karla could ever dream of,” I finished up for him, the words catching me off guard. I hadn’t realized the conviction with which I believed them until that moment. I mean, I wouldn’t have been with Autumn if I didn’t think she would have made a good mother to Hunter, but at the same time, hearing those words come out of my mouth with such conviction made this situation even harder. Just when I’d found someone who could give Hunter what he needed, what we both needed so badly, and Karla came drifting back into our lives like she’d always belonged there.

“I think you have your answer then,” Raymond pointed out gently. “When are you seeing Autumn next?”

“I’m seeing her when I pick up Hunter from school today.” I glanced at my watch. “Shit, I should get going.”

“Don’t let this get to you,” Raymond told me, getting to his feet to walk me to the door. “I know this is a lot for you to take in, but it’s workable. You know what you want, and that’s the most important thing.”

“I sure as fuck hope so,” I replied, managing to smile in thanks for his kind words. “I’ll let you know how it all goes, all right?”

“All right.” He nodded. “And if you need any help with Karla, you let me know.”

“Thanks, man,” I closed my eyes for a moment. “I’ll see you again soon.”

I headed out to the car, my mind still racing, trying to make sense of everything swirling around in my brain. I wanted to be with Autumn. I’d known that for so long that it felt like second nature, like a fact that had always been true in the back of my mind. But at the same time, I knew keeping Hunter from his mother would only come back to bite me in the ass years down the line. I didn’t want him to think I’d been trying to keep them apart, divide them. I was wary of Karla, more than I realized I was, and I didn’t want her anywhere near my son, nor the life I had so carefully built for him. I didn’t want her sticking her nose in and messing everything up, which is exactly what she would do if I gave her the chance.

And she said she wanted me. I had been firm in shutting that down, but what if she wouldn’t let it go? What if she saw us as a package deal? That was going to be hard to shut down, especially if I did decide to let her have some contact with Hunter. I wasn’t sure what to do. I felt as though every avenue open to me was the wrong choice, the choice that would leave someone close to me hurt in ways I never wanted to inflict on them.

I arrived at the school and waited outside in my car for a few minutes. I wanted it to go back to being like it had been before Karla had shown up again. Things had been going so well for a change. After so long feeling like I was fighting to keep going, life had been happy, easy, fun. And that was all threatening to be pulled out from under me.

I forced myself out of the car. I had to pick up Hunter, and I didn’t want to be late and tip him off that there was something serious going on. He was a smart kid, a sensitive one, and the last thing I wanted was for him to catch on to what was going on with Karla. I winced as her name crossed my mind once more. I hated this. I hated that she had come back to make everything harder, to make me second-guess every decision I’d made over the course of the last ten years. I had done well enough without her, but all these questions were rising, unanswered, and hanging out at the back of my mind. It was an uncomfortable feeling, to doubt myself after so long, and I didn’t want to have to get used to it.

I headed inside the school, and Hunter was already there, waiting for me. He ran up to me and gave me a hug, and I held him close, savoring these moments with him. I wasn’t sure how long they would stick around before everything changed again.

“I need to talk to Jason,” he told me firmly, as though he was informing me about an important business meeting. “Can I have five minutes?”

“Of course.” I smiled at him and watched him run off to be with his friends. At least that was something that had changed unarguably for the better, Hunter having people around who cared about him beyond me. I glanced up and saw Autumn leaning in the doorway of her classroom, an expression on her face that I couldn’t quite read.

“Hey,” she greeted me, making her way to me. “I think we need to talk.”

“I think we do too.” I sighed. I knew I’d come down too hard when I’d seen her before, and I needed to let her know there was no problem with her, just with Karla.

“I’ve been thinking about what you told me.” She took a deep breath, her brow furrowing. “And… and I think we should take a break.”

“What?”

My heart dropped. This couldn’t be happening. This was what I‘d been afraid of, the direct opposite of what I wanted from this conversation.

“I don’t want to get in the way of whatever’s happening between you and Karla.” She glanced over to where Hunter had scurried off, and I saw the flash of pain pass over her face. I realized this was real. She was truly walking away from this, from us.

“Autumn, that’s not what I want,” I told her desperately. “I know things are going to be complicated, but the last thing I need right now—”

“The last thing you need right now is having to consider my feelings on top of everything else that’s going on,” she told me gently. “I know it sounds crazy, but Holden, I don’t want to get in the way of your family.”

“Karla’s not my family.” I shook my head. “She left us when he was born. She signed away all her rights—”

“She might not be your family, but she’s Hunter’s,” she replied softly. She was smiling, but it seemed to be a ploy to keep the tears from coming. Panic was rushing through my system. Why had I told her about it? Why I had come in all hot-headed and forced her to deal with this? I should have held back, waited till I had things figured out.

“And I don’t want to get in the middle of this,” she told me. “I don’t want to complicate matters any more than they already have been.”

“You’re not complicating anything,” I replied desperately. “You make everything easier. Autumn, please—”

“Holden, please don’t make this any harder on me than it has to be.” She held her hand up and looked away from me. “I know this is hard, but we both need space. It’s better in the long run.”

And with that, she turned to head back into the classroom, closing the door behind her. I stood there, speechless, trying to take in what she’d said to me. Hunter came running back up to me and nudged me.

“Dad?”

I looked down at him, blinking, trying to come back to reality.

“Can we go home now?” he asked brightly. His face was clear and serene, no idea of the mess going on around him at that moment.

“Yeah, we can go home,” I replied, and I turned to walk out of the school—and couldn’t help wondering if I was walking out of Autumn’s life for good as well.