I stared down at the photographs in front of me. I’d been looking at them for so long, they started to blur around the edges, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t look away.

I was leafing through some pictures of Hunter from the last few years of his life especially. It was crazy how much he had grown up in that time, how he had gone from being a boy to a little man, and I couldn’t help smiling as I traced his growth from baby to the ten-year-old he was now. How could that much time have passed already? It didn’t make sense to me. Yet as I looked at him like this, a pang of sadness overwhelmed me.

I had missed so much of his life while I’d been setting up the business. It had been the right thing at the time, of course—or at least I had managed to convince myself that was the case. But looking at these photos, I couldn’t dismiss the fact that I didn’t remember every single one, every single occasion. I wasn’t even in a lot of them, probably off taking a call or checking my email while Raymond had been snapping the photograph. Perhaps I should have been there for him more. If I could go back in time and do it again, I would have shoved to the back of my mind the urge to prove Karla wrong above all else and would have focused on being the father my son needed.

He was out spending time with one of his friends that afternoon, and I was glad for a little peace. It had been such a hectic week, and I felt as though my brain was going to start leaking out of my head. Seven days before, Autumn Becks, the woman I was falling in love with, had told me that we needed to take a break, and I’d been reeling from the shock of it ever since. Even thinking about her hurt me in a visceral way, a way I’d never prepared for. There was something else I had taken for granted, something else that had slipped through my fingers before I had a chance to take hold of it. If only I had made it clearer when we first got together that I didn’t care about Karla, Hunter’s mother. If only I had made it more obvious that Autumn was the only woman I needed. Maybe she would have stuck around even after Karla appeared in my life again. Instead, she had taken a step back from me, and I hadn’t heard from her since. I was giving her all the space she needed, but I craved her there by my side to help guide me through this strange new place I found myself in.

I had barely left the house all week, focusing all my energy on work and Hunter in the hopes of shutting down those panicked thoughts about the two women in my life who wouldn’t give me a moment’s rest inside my head. One of them, Autumn, was new and fresh and exciting, the kind of woman I could see myself with in any serious way, the woman who had turned me around on the thought of dating again. Then there was the woman from my past, the last woman I had dated before Autumn, the mother of my child and the person who had spurred me to become the man I was today by telling me she never thought I would amount to anything. They were both important in their own ways, but I didn’t have space for both of them in my head at once.

A knock came at the door, ringing through the quiet of the house and taking me by surprise. I lifted my head up from the pictures and tried to remember if I’d invited anyone over that day, but I couldn’t remember suggesting anyone come around. I got to my feet and headed to the door, peering through the keyhole, and found Raymond waiting on the other side for me.

I opened the door, and he grinned at me. He knew what was going on with Autumn and Karla, and he’d been there from the start for all the bullshit with my ex. Being the good friend that he was, he was likely here to get me out of the damn house and make sure I didn’t spend my time festering and hiding from all the trouble chasing me right now.

“Well, good day to you, sir.” He raised his eyebrows. “Been a while since I saw you last. You doing all right?”

“I’m doing okay,” I lied. He cocked his head at me.

“Are you?” he remarked, giving me the once-over. “Because you look like a hermit.”

I ran my hand over my unshaven chin and sighed. He was right. I needed to get out of the house and have an excuse to clean myself up a little. But I didn’t want to go anywhere.

“Come on, I’m taking you out to lunch,” he told me firmly, brushing past me and into the house. I shook my head.

“No. I mean, I have work to do.”

“Yeah, like you haven’t been using that to distract yourself all week,” he said. “Come on, just for an hour. I know a place close enough. I won’t take up much of your day, I promise. Besides, seems like you could use the trip out, huh?”

“Fine.” I sighed. “Can you give me a minute to shave and get myself ready?”

“I think you’d better,” he teased. “You really think I’d be seen out with you looking like that?”

“All right, point taken.” I waved my hand at him and retreated to my bedroom to get myself dressed and cleaned. I felt like a slob. I usually took a great deal of pride in my appearance, but now that Autumn was out of my life, I didn’t have much reason to any longer. I had even avoided picking up Hunter at school when I knew she would be there, and I waited outside the gates so he could come out and find me. The thought of looking her in the eye and letting her see the mess I had become within only a few days without her was too humiliating.

I headed out to meet Raymond, and he clapped his hands together.

“There, you’re already looking more like yourself.” He jerked his head toward the door. “Let’s get going. I’m starving.”

I followed him out to the car and let him drive me to this place he wanted to take me to. It turned out to be a quaint little seafood place near the water, which would have been perfect if driving this way didn’t remind me so instantly of my date with Autumn. We’d come down here to get ice cream. We had kissed on the pier, and it had been so perfect, it made my heart hurt a little to know I wouldn’t get to do it again any time soon. I asked Raymond about Olivia and the baby to distract myself, and he happily chatted to me about fatherhood and how he was adjusting having a newborn. It was good to talk to him, to get my mind off the constant thoughts that had been running around in my head since last week.

“What are you going to have?” I asked him as we took our seats and looked down at the menu. My stomach was growling. I was starving, having not eaten nearly enough these last few days. I had been too distracted and depressed. Thank God Raymond was here to try and help make things better.

He shrugged. “I don’t know yet. You want to split some stuff?”

“Sure,” I agreed, and I found myself relaxing. It was nice to have some human company after everything that had happened—adult company too. Hunter was awesome, but he was hardly what I needed to help talk me through the intensity of everything that had happened the past few days. He didn’t have a clue his mother was anywhere near us, and he’d been cheerfully asking when we were going out with Autumn again.

“How are you doing?” Raymond asked once we’d ordered, sitting back in his seat and giving me a hard look across the table. I shrugged.

“Yeah, fine, I guess,” I replied, and he shook his head.

“Come on. I know you’ve been through a hell of a lot these last few days,” he told me gently. “How are you coping with it? How’s it going with Karla?”

“She’s tried to call me a few times, but I haven’t picked up.” I shook my head. “I don’t want to have to deal with her at the moment. I’m too… I don’t know. I just never thought I would have to handle her or her bullshit ever again. I need some time to wrap my head around the fact that I do now.”

“And what about everything with Autumn?” he pressed. I snorted, but there wasn’t much actual amusement in my tone.

“Okay, now there’s someone I’d actually like to hear from, but I haven’t,” I admitted, letting out a long sigh. “I’ve tried to get hold of her, but she’s not replied to any of my calls, and I don’t want to push her further than she’s already been pushed. You know what I mean?”

“Fuck.” Raymond shook his head. “This is one hell of a mess, isn’t it?”

“Sure is,” I agreed, trying to keep my voice upbeat but knowing it was reading as depressing. I didn’t want to bring him down, but he was insistent on pushing the issue.

“Have you thought about talking to Karla?” he asked. I lifted my eyes to his and gave him a long look.

“No.” I shook my head after a pause. “I don’t want anything to do with her if I can avoid it. She just… no. I can’t stand the thought of having her in my life, in Hunter’s life—especially because she told me she wants the two of us to get back together as well.”

“Okay, you don’t have to go that far,” he conceded. “But maybe it would be worth talking things out with her a little? Seeing where she’s coming from?”

I fell silent. I knew he was right, and that was the frustrating part. I wanted nothing more than for Karla to drop out of my life and out of my son’s life and leave me alone once more, but that wasn’t how this worked. She was back once and for all, and she wasn’t going to leave us alone until she got what she felt like she was owed, a relationship with her child.

“I guess I could,” I muttered, and Raymond nodded.

“Only way to deal with any of this is to jump into it head-on,” he said, and I grimaced.

“Yeah, well, I’m still going to be over here trying to avoid everything if I can.” I cocked an eyebrow, and he chuckled.

“Good luck doing that when I know where you live and need you for babysitting duties,” he warned me, picking up his cutlery as the waiter approached. I managed a smile as he placed our food down in front of us. Sure, this whole thing was more than a bit of a mess, but Raymond was right. The only way through it was to throw myself in headfirst and hope I could find a way out the other side. That meant listening to Karla and finding out precisely what she wanted from me.