Three months later and I was wrapping up a 50’s gangster movie in L.A.  It was nice to be able to shoot everything in my home space for once.  There was talk of moving the whole shoot to Vancouver, but at the last minute the studio cut some kind of deal.  I got go home every day.  Sleeping in my bed was way better than sleeping in a studio trailer.

Unfortunately, I started throwing up.  I didn’t feel like I had the flu.  I knew what that felt like and this wasn’t it.  The director told me to go to the doctor, but I ignored him.  I was playing an action star in the next movie, so I figured what kind of action star goes to the doctor just because she throws up a few times?

I did have to miss two workout appointments with the trainer, but I was in shape.  This couldn’t be the flu.  Then Naomi came over and blew the mystery wide open.

“Hey girl,” I greeted. 

“What’s up?  Still sick?”

“Yeah,” I admitted.  “I can’t figure it out.  I don’t feel bad.  I just keep throwing up in the mornings.”

“I bought something for you,” she said, taking a pregnancy test out of the bag.

“What?  No!” I insisted.  “I’m not pregnant.  I can’t be.”

“Oh, right, I forgot.  You’re the one woman on the planet that can will herself not pregnant,” she said sarcastically.  “Just do it.  Takes two minutes.”

“It’s impossible,” I insisted.

“You said you haven’t had your period in two months!”

“Sometimes they get really light,” I said. 

“Nobody’s period is that light,” she insisted.  “Stop living in denial.  You could have something way more serious than a pregnancy.  Ever think of that?”

“Fine, I’ll take the stupid test,” I relented.  “I just want it on the record that I think this is stupid.”
“Duly noted,” she said.

I went into the bathroom and pissed on the stick.  Gross.  Then I waited.  I didn’t have to wait long.

“Oh, shit!  Oh-shit-oh-shit-oh-shit!” I cursed.

“I guess that’s not good news,” said Naomi carefully.

“Fuck me!  Fuck me!” I shouted.  “How did this happen?!”

“Well, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much---“

“Really, not in the mood for your tight five, Naomi,” I said, pacing in my bathroom.  “Do you know how bad this is?  I’m supposed to be kicking ass in my new movie!  I can’t have a baby bump!”

“Who’s the father?”

“I don’t---”

I stopped myself from finishing that sentence.  I knew how bad that would sound.

“Ooo, look at you, living it up in Hollywood.”

“Actually, it was the party.  The princes,” I said uncomfortably.

“Huh?” gasped Naomi.  “You didn’t tell me you had sex with one of the princes!  Which one?!”

I laughed.  I hadn’t told Naomi what happened that night.  The princes had gotten me a limo and I managed to get back to my place with zero fanfare.  Thank God.  My boob tape wasn’t working and I never found my panties.  Could’ve been a banner day for the paparazzi if they had found me.

“I, uh, had sex with both of them,” I said embarrassingly.

“Shut the front door!” said Naomi, shocked.  “Oh, my God.  Savannah!  You fucked two guys at once?  What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing!  It was good.  It was so good, Naomi,” I explained.  “You have no idea how great the sex was.”

“Sex without condoms usually is,” she laughed.

“No, we used them.  One of them must’ve broken,” I concluded.  “Holy shit.  I am so screwed.”

“Well, you could always, you know---  Get rid of it,” she suggested.

“I can’t do that,” I said.  “I just don’t think I could ever do that.”

“Well, the longer you wait---“

“No, Naomi.  Not an option,” I concluded. 

“You could put it up for adoption,” she suggested.  “I’m sure people would line up for your semi-famous baby.”

“That somehow seems way weirder,” I said.  “Jesus, what a mess.”

The phone rang.  It was Travis Banyon, director for my action movie.  I had been ducking my trainer for two weeks.  How was I going to break this to him?  He’d fire me for sure.  I had to stall.

“Hey Trav,” I greeted.  “What’s up?”

“Savannah, babydoll,” he started, clearly annoyed.  “You need to be in training for this movie.  We talked about it.”

“Yeah, I know, but I have the flu…”

“You said you didn’t have the flu when I asked you about it,” he remembered.

“Yes, but then I went to the doctors and it turns out, I’m wrong?” I said weakly, hoping he wouldn’t press for details.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Savannah!  We shoot in a week!”

“Well, what do you want me to do, Trav?!  I’m taking care of it!  I know my lines!  Can’t we shoot some other shit?”

“You’d better know your fucking lines,” he said.  “I’ll tell you right now, if your fight scenes look like shit---  I will replace you.”

“They’re gonna look great because I’m awesome, Trav,” I said in my most sultry voice.  “Hey, let me buy you dinner.”

“Some other time,” he said.  “I’ve got a lot preproduction to rearrange.  Get better, my star.”

“I will, Travis.  Just for you, I’m going to force all my germs to lay down and die!”

“Perfect, get on it.”

He hung up.  Sometimes it was hard to tell when Travis was joking or not.  Sometimes, it was like he was my brother and other times, it was like his wife didn’t exist and we were long time lovers.  I had never had sex with Travis, but this was Hollywood.  Never say never in this town.

“Oh, my God,” I said, bending over on the toilet.  “I think I may start to hyperventilate.”

“Just calm down,” said Naomi.  “You have to look on the bright side.”

“What’s the bright side?  That I just ruined my career?”

“No!” she dismissed.  “You may have gotten yourself knocked up by one of the richest men in the world…or his friend.”

“Oh, it’s sounds so tawdry and stupid,” I muttered.  “Am I stupid?”

“Well, yeah, kinda,” said Naomi.  “You got drunk and banged two guys.  Not your brightest of moves.”

“The tabloids are going to go crazy!”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?  Attention?”

“Yes!  For being a sexy, independent woman!  Not for being the dumb broad that got herself knocked up!”

“Just calm down.  First you have to figure out which prince is your baby daddy.  Maybe they’ll be cool with it.  It’s not like they don’t have the money to take care of the kid.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for a kid, Naomi,” I said.  “What am I supposed to do?  How is this going to impact my life?  My career?  And am I going to screw the kid up trying to figure it out?”

“No one’s ever ready for a baby,” Naomi assured me.  “I wasn’t and mine were planned.  You just have to talk to the dad.  Figure things out.”

“But these guys are princes!  Real life princes!  They’ll probably have me thrown into a dungeon or something!”

“Oh, stop being dramatic,” she dismissed.  “Just put on your big girl pants and go talk to them.  What’s the worst that can happen?”

“I guess I have no choice,” I sighed.  “God!  I can’t believe this is happening!  How could I have been so stupid?!”